“In the year 2050, Earth was invaded by a humanoid race called The Hing. For six years a hard and grinding war was fought. At its conclusion, we were forced to agree that The Hing would retain control the land they already won.”

So wait, we were “forced” to agree, suggesting humanity was losing the war and accepted this compromise to avoid being eradicated.  But The Hing only demanded control of land already won?  Frankly, that’s a pretty sweet deal for humanity.  Quit yer bellyaching!

A young couple runs through the woods wearing camo.  They break through the treeline and see the NYC-ish city of Ark-Angel across the river.  They seem relieved, but that river is the size of the Hudson, so they aren’t out of the woods yet.  Well, literally, but not figuratively.  A Hing catches them, but he has a severe reaction when the woman exposes him to her toxic blood.  The same thing happened at Altamont when Keith Richards got a paper cut on some Zig Zags.  At least, that’s how I heard it.

That was a well-done intro.  Inside a bar named Heaven, the episode scores even more points by introducing Nathen Fillion as the lead, and Robbie Chong along side him.  He is the manager of the hotel which is a Casablancaesque crossroads where Hing and Human have an uneasy peaceful coexistence.   The Russkis also hang out there, in case there wasn’t enough tension; or alcoholics.

The woman from the intro enters the bar.  Immediately, one of The Hing starts hitting on her.  Wow, they really are humanoid — he’s better looking than me! At least Star Trek gave their aliens f***ed up foreheads.  Fillion puts her on the spot by saying she is in the bar to audition as a singer.  Luckily, she is able to flawlessly belt out a tune since voice and music lessons are often available during apocalyptic alien invasions. 

She and the guy ask Fillion for a scout ship that he has for some reason.  I’m sure it was explained, but I fell asleep multiple times trying to finish the episode, and I feel like I’ve done my duty.  He leads them to the white ship which is cleverly hidden . . . in a field, visible from miles away even at night.  Maybe he had the valet bring it around.  Again, I just couldn’t keep my eyes open.

This is the episode that broke me in September 2019.  It just seemed too awesome.  It had the always-entertaining Nathan Fillion, which should made made the episode.  It was a spin on Casablanca, but with no French people.  Fillion earned his pay by putting his spin on lines sometimes genuinely clever, and sometimes elevated by his delivery.  It had a good opening, and I thought I was unworthy to comment on such a great hunk of TV. 

I must not have finished the episode.  This was the biggest disappointment since the broadcast TV version of Blazing Saddles. ^[1]  Despite having so much going for it, and even with a classic movie to felch filch from, they just couldn’t fill the hour.  Oh, how they tried.  It zipped along like a glacier.  There were 2 — count ’em 2 — full songs sung by the girl whose name I still don’t know (of the songs or the girl).  Much as I like Nathan Fillion, the lengthy chest-kissing scene with sidal nudity is soul-crushing.  The episode ends with an absurdly staged gunfight which introduces slow-motion more drawn out than a Snyder Cut.

My recollection is that this series of Outer Limits rarely got your adrenaline flowing, but they were always solid.  Sadly, a few good quips couldn’t save this one.  There is just nothing here.  Go watch Firefly or Dr. Horrible instead.

[1]  OK, no Blazing Saddles at the link.  Actually, the TV version of Cameron Diaz’s line would have been a better choice.