Sew Torn (2024) – aka Yarn, Lola Yarn! [1]. Lighthearted multiple-scenario Choose Your Own Adventure about a seamstress who stumbles onto a police chase. Amusingly, the scenarios all revolve around sewing supplies. Amazon.
[1] Either you get it or you don’t. Would also have accepted The Town that Threaded Sundown or The Jazz Singer.
Wrecked (2010) – Sadly, Adrien Brody slams his car into the bottom of a ravine on his way to a rhinoplasty. Quit halfway through because it was so tedious. Also because there are 3 actors named Adrien in it. So what, you say? Yeah, you’re probably right. Tubi.
They Will Kill You (2026) – Discount Kill Bill. But that’s like discount hookers pizza – it’s still going to be good. Fun. HBO.
Ruthless (2023) – Dylan McDermott Mulroney in a sex-trafficking / revenge flick that somehow manages to be dreary, yet engaging. Amazon.
Primate (2025) — About as old-school as you can get: Pet chimp goes nuts (i.e. acts normal) and gruesome deaths ensue. Good horror stuff. Amazon.
Spiderman: Brand New Day (2026) – Literally all I remember is that I busted the girl next to me for staying on her phone for the first 10 minutes. The word “hero” is thrown around a lot these days . . . Theater.
The Hitcher (1986) – The best movie ever given zero stars by Roger Ebert in his print column. C Thomas Howell . . . wait, it gets better . . . picks up the titular hitcher — an awesome Rutger Hauer — and regrets it. Great cat & mouse / wrong-man tension on the road, leavened by Jennifer Jason Leigh. Great stuff. Criterion. [2]
[2] Siskel also gave it a thumbs-down on their TV show. I usually found Ebert to be more reasonable, although he also gave thumbs-down to The Thing.
Dumb Money (2023) — Great potential drama of the GameStop stock fiasco crippled by pervasive worthless rap music, and a major role by the most untalented mammal in showbiz history, Pete Davidson. He is so awful that I welcomed the scenes with Seth Rogan. Theater.
Stop Making Sense (1984) — Remastered Talking Heads concert film, widely regarded as best-ever. In IMAX, that is one big f***ing suit. Theater.
You Can See Everything (2026) – Once again we get an interviewer who has the case-breaking question teed up for him by his subject and he WILL NOT ASK IT! I expect this from Chris Hayes or Jake Tapper, but this guy is a comedian! Clever & interesting, but not as earth-shattering as advertised. Theater. [3]
[3] For a better take on Elizabeth Holmes, watch The Dropout (2022) on Hulu also starring the numbskull Amanda Seyfreid.
Heart of the Beast (2026) – A simple story of an army vet and his German Shepard (also a vet). Shockingly, Hollywood did not screw it up by injecting politics or bestiality. A fine way to spend 101 minutes. Theater.
Icefall (2025) – As in A Simple Plan (1998), found-money from a small downed plane in a snowy landscape is just trouble for those who find it. Like in college, I waited until the night before this was due to write it up. I’ve forgotten everything except that I enjoyed it enough to make me watch it again soon. Actually, that’s a pretty good endorsement. Amazon.
The Mosquito Bowl (2026) – Dreadful. As if the first 20 minutes of Saving Private Ryan (1998) had been directed by the clod who made Disclosure Day (2026). Ultra-brutal, artless, pointless, desaturated, just a mess. Bright spot (literally the only one given the mud and grey tones): I am becoming a fan of Ray Nicholson. It will soon not be necessary to out him as Jack’s son every time. Theater.
Superman (1978) – Pretty close to a perfect movie – the casting, the writing, the score. And colors! My God, the colors! Maybe I was over-excited, seeing it backed by a live orchestra. Naples Philharmonic.
Hot in Cleveland S1 (2010) – WTF? I swear, I fell asleep and Paramount+ auto-played it after some manly flick. Three LA MILFs relocate to Cleveland to increase their relative desirability. Clearly geared toward the ladies, but I gotta admit, I laughed out loud many times, frequently due to zingers from Betty White (don’t worry, not one of the MILFs). Paramount+
Movies I Will Not Be Seeing:
The Debut (2026) – Starring the over-rated Julianne Moore and the repulsive Paul Giamatti. Co-starring the insufferable Jesse Eisenberg who also directed and wrote the screenplay & songs.
Focker-in-Law (2026) – De Niro.