July 2022

Nope (2022) — It looks great, and I like Steven Yeun.  Otherwise, a disappointment from Jordan Peele after Get Out and Us.  Not so much after the Twilight Zone reboot.

The Set-Up (1949) and Somebody Up There Likes Me (1956) — Two great boxing pictures directed by Robert Wise.  The boxing in both, while still Ludacris, makes the matches in the Rocky movies look even more embarrassingly cartoonish than you remember.  BTW, Wise also directed West Side Story, The Sound of Music, Star Trek TMP, and was an editor on Citizen Kane.  Holy crap!

The Boat (2018) — The 2nd movie this month (see Triangle) about someone boarding a deserted boat/ship called The Aeolus and experiencing supernatural hijinks.  Both are well worth your time.

The Stand (2021) — As a yuge fan of the novel, I looked forward to this for years.  When it finally came out to such lousy reviews, I didn’t even watch it.  Butchering the timeline isn’t even the worst offense.  It has, without exception, the worst casting choices I have ever seen.

  • Stu Redman was not a purty-boy like James Martsers.  He was a beat-down Texan that life had passed by.  I kinda feel sorry for Harold Lauder — what girl wouldn’t dump me — I mean him — to go to this ridiculously handsome guy?
  • Glen Bateman was a old man with arthritis who had trouble walking to the titular stand.  He had gravitas from his years as a college professor.  He is at least 10 years too young here and, again, way too good looking.
  • Mother Abigail here is just Whoopie in a wig.  There is zero attempt at a character.  Ruby Dee’s voice in the 1994 version was perfection.  On the plus side — not a looker.
  • Nick Andros — WTF.  I don’t even know where to begin.
  • Lloyd Henreid is just a repulsive ignorant pimp here.  We don’t see the arc that Miguel Ferrer had in the 1994 version when Flagg gave him a few braincells.
  • Dayna Jurgens . . . well, she is OK, but I preferred the original blonde interpretation, and original death scene.  Actually, she and the actress playing Julie Lawry should have been switched.
  • Nadine Cross — Again going back to 1994, Laura San Giacomo’s face has an edge that gave credibility to her demon-adjacent role.  Amber Heard is a zero, just an OK looking blonde.
  • Flagg — just boring.  Not charismatic, not enigmatic, not horrifying, just boring.
  • Whoa, the talented Clifton Collins just walked onto the screen as the relatively minor character Bobby Terry.  Now THAT was your Lloyd Henreid, or even Flagg!
  • Larry Underwood is now black, but the actor is pretty good.  Ralph Bretner and Rat Man are now women.  The Judge, formerly a black man, is now a white woman.  Meh, whatever.
  • Tom, Frannie, and Harold are different interpretations.  They are OK if you don’t have the original as a reference point.
  • And Ezra Miller, even before his issues were discovered, was just not someone who belonged on the screen. Did Justice League teach us nothing?

The Great Race (1965) — A race around the world, less dated and cringey than expected.  Tony Curtis, Peter Falk, Jack Lemmon are all in on the joke.  OG babes Dorothy Provine and Natalie Wood provide definitions of “woman” for anyone not clear today.

Twelve O’Clock High (1949) — Standard hard-ass WWII commander flick takes a surprising turn to PTSD.

The Parallax View (1974) — Classic of paranoid cinema.

Intensive Care (2018) — Former seal-ette puts the spice in hospice and kills allll the men.  She does give them way too many chances, though.

Star Trek: Strange New Worlds – Season 1 (2022) — The first TV ST since TNG I’ve watched, and pretty good.  Captain Pike has a good-natured swagger and great hair.  There is much dreadful miscasting otherwise.  Maybe the worst is the portrayal of James Kirk in the last episode as a skinny Jim Carrey doppelganger.  Strangely, the praise for his performance could not be more universally beloved by critics if he were played by Barack Obama.

Crush the Skull (2015) — Good-humored cheapo flick about some hapless home invaders — who are the protagonists — and the psycho who traps them in his house.

Triangle (2009) — Groundhog Day on a ship, but more bloody and mind-bendy.  Great stuff.

Occupants (2015) — Couple gets glimpses of themselves in an alternate realty.  The alt-wife is a maniac.  Good stuff.

Miracle Mile (1988) — Dude answers a ringing public phone.  The panicky caller says nukes have been launched and they will be dead in an hour.  OTOH, there is a nickel in the coin return.

Batman – Season 1 (1966) — I say in absolute sincerity, this might be the best thing I’ve seen this year.  The camp, the self-awareness, the performances, the backdrop of dingy 1960’s Los Angeles behind the cheesy Dynamic Duo.  People like to use Adam West as the icon of the show, but Burt Ward is at least his equal.  Excellent.

June 2022 Movies

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