Trap (2024) — Must suspend disbelief to accept that the Feds and Pennsylvania law enforcement could team up and be so incredibly incompetent that they could not catch a killer right under their noses . . . boy, that line would have been awesome if posted right after the 2024 Butler, PA Trump assassination attempt. HBO.
The Hitchhiker (2007) – 4 chicks are on their way to a nursing convention despite not being nurses (no, really) and stupidly pick up a dude. Surprise, it’s the titular hitchhiker! Which is a surprise because it is a woman hitchhiking on the Tubi thumbnail. Watchable. Tubi.
The Fearway (2023) – A schlub and his incongruously young, hot, busty girlfriend are chased by a demon along a looping Möbius desert road with a creepy hotel and weird staff. The photography of the hotel, the desert, and the girl make it easy on the eyes. However, the unnecessary over-reveal of the demon, and a poor resolution doom it overall. Amazon.
The Hitcher Girl (2023) – WTF did I just watch? A mystical girl hitchhikes across the west, impacting the lives of several yahoos. No action, no chases, no laughs, no boobs, no flashy cinematography, no sharks, but compelling as hell. Kudos to the writer / director for the 70’s vibe, and especially to the charismatic Rebecca Prodan as Lilith. The fact that she has no subsequent credits on IMDb tells you everything about Hollywood. Bravo! Tubi.
In Vitro (2024) – Aussie cattle-breeder secretly clones his hot wife but, just as in The Prestige (2006), he uses the technology for his career rather than a three five-way. Have we learned nothing in 18 years? Decent slooow burn. Amazon.
Fight or Flight (2025) — Discount John Wick . . . deep, deep discount. Like pennies on the dollar. In other words, crap. Paramount.
The Accountant 2 (2025) — Ben Affleck is tasked with portraying an emotionless automaton and can’t even pull that off. WTF keeps letting this guy in front of the camera? However, kudos to Jon Bernthal who continues to grow on me. Amazon.
Clear and Present Danger (1994) – Jack Ryan takes on the Cartel. Three reasons to watch: 1) Interesting cache of young that-guys, 2) If you think Harrison Ford is a lousy actor now, prepare for a revelation, 3) Cast does not include Ben Affleck. Would normally give Thora Birch a shout-out, but she was only 11 here. Paramount.
For Madmen Only: The Stories of Del Close (2020) — Amazing! How do you take one of the seminal BTS figures in American comedy, a man described as a mentor to every famous comedian for the last 50 years, and create such a boring documentary? Hulu.
Skull Island (2012) – More Dutch Angles than a bombed-out dike: Astute reference to WWII Walcheren, or crude reference to a drunk lesbian photographer? You be the judge. Cheapo flick beyond redemption despite the always-welcome people-hunted-for-sport trope and always-welcome gratuitous nudity? I be the judge. Tubi
Shark Bait (2022) – Token black guy steals a couple of jet-skis – hey, I didn’t write it! There is a big head-on crash and blood in the water after 2 dumb-asses play chicken (or, technically, Chicken of the Sea ® – heyooo!). OK after an obnoxious beginning. HBO.
The End of Oak Street (2026) – [SPOILER] Uh, am I supposed to ignore that Anne Hathaway effectively murdered her kids at the end? Theater. [1]
Michael (2026) – Uh, am I supposed to ignore that Michael Jackson . . . well, you know the rest. Starz.
Bambi: The Reckoning (2025) — Public Domain has saved Hollywood from having to come up with new ideas. Other real recent movies with newly-liberated characters: Alice in Terrorland, Cinderella’s Revenge, Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey, Mickey [Mouses]’s Slayhouse, Popeye Returns, and Pinocchio Unstrung. Must say, though, this one is actually pretty good not bad. AMC+. FYI, Jessica Rabbit hits Public Domain in 2084.
Housemaid (2025) – Wife & Mother Amanda Seyfried is threatened by the new young Nanny, Sidney Sweeney. I’m so old I remember when Seyfried would have played the Nanny rather than the 30 year old crone. Pretty good. Starz.