Science Fiction Theatre – Out of Nowhere (04/30/55)

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sftoutofnowhere02After a lesson on sound waves from host Truman Bradley, we cut to a maid vacuuming on the top floor of the King Tower Office Building.  She is startled when a flock of migratory birds crash through the window. Truman tells us the birds were “victims of progress.  If men didn’t build skyscrapers, then birds wouldn’t get confused and fly into them.”  More accurately, they were victims of having a brain the size of a pea.

Dr. Kennedy, an ornithologist from the local museum is called.  In a feat of stunning perspicacity, he identifies four of the creatures as bats.  They should call him Dr. BirdHouse.  He calls Dr. Osborne, an expert in aerodynamics and bird navigation.  One of the surviving bats is taken to his lab for examination.  He determines that something in the vicinity of the building created a disturbance to the bats’ sonar signal.  He should have studied the leadership qualities that enabled four bats to lead a flock of birds to their death.

Their equipment tells them the signal is stationary and coming from above.  They conjecture a hostile space station is the source.  They discover a mysterious signal and go to Dr. Milton, the inventor of the radar telescope.  He tells them his telescope could not be responsible for the signal they are investigating.

sftoutofnowhere05That evening at 2 am, the signal begins again.  Milton coordinates with every telescope in the US. Unfortunately, they find nothing and give up around 5 am when women in the neighboring high-rises lower their shades.

Drs. Osborne and Jeffries decide to catch breakfast.  A couple of other dudes are enjoying a nice game of pool at 5 am, giving them an idea that the beam might be bouncing around like a pool ball.  One quotes the Law of Reflection, “The angle of incidence equals the angle of reflection.”  He, however, dangerously forgets, the angle of the dangle equals the heat of the meat; and the booty-cutie corollary.

They go back to the General’s office.  Using a map and a string, they are able to determine that the beam is originating from the Johnson Park area.  They are unaware of anything in the area that would create this electronic signal.  They theorize that a hostile power with such an ability could enable their planes to fly atomic and hydrogen weapons into our country.

This episode was fairly excruciating up to this point.  There were 9 dull men and 1 dull woman.  The host and voice-overs took the place of dialogue for several minutes in the opening.  It was just difficult  for me to get excited about this buzz confusing the birds.  They had a chance to win me over at the end, though.

sftoutofnowhere09After the discussing the doomsday scenarios of commies dropping A-bombs and H-bombs on us, they cut to the source of the transmissions — a toy factory.  Had they they shown some remote control gizmo and ended episode right there, I would have been surprised and amused.  It would have also bred some suspense as no one would suspect the toys and they would go merrily on endangering the country.  I’ll say this for Tales of Tomorrow — they didn’t hesitate to destroy the earth.

Instead we get a short hum-drum ending where the toy factory is a cover for commies. In seconds, the cops come in and arrest them.  It felt like one of those neat Alfred Hitchcock wrap-ups where the network prevents anyone from getting away with murder.

I rate this:  Nowhere.

Post-Post:

  • Available on YouTube, but why would ya?

Outer Limits – Second Thoughts (01/19/97)

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olsecondthoughts03Howie Mandel is mentally challenged.

Now on to the review.  See, the problem is, it’s hard to have fun with this.  He actually does a good job in the portrayal, but my gut tells me this is exploitative.  Logically, I don’t believe that.  I feel a Flowers for Algernon story coming, and that was good.  Hard to shake that vibe, though.

Blah, blah, dying scientist, Dr. Valerian, transfers his brains into Karl Durand’s (Mandel) noggin.  Afterward, he slips up and uses some big words that Karl would never use.  The next day, his caretakers are stunned to see he can suddenly play the piano as great as me if I were a great piano-player.  However, he is still jealous when his favorite nurse Rose gets engaged, so there must be a little Karl left in there somewhere.  Maybe in “Little Karl.”

Karl goes to Valerian’s office and sees it is being looted by William Talbot.  He is looking for the mind-transfer device Valerian invented.  When he walks out with it, Karl tries to stop him.  In the struggle, Talbot falls down the stairs and dies.  Karl panics, but Valerian surfaces and calms Karl down.[2]  He is then able to transfer Talbot’s mind into his melon also.  And transfer Talbot’s briefcase full of bearer bonds into his brokerage account. [1]

olsecondthoughts02The three personalities fight to be in control.  The wildcard is Talbot who is understandably peeved at being killed.  He does, however, see this as an opportunity to commit crimes that will be blamed on Karl.  Well, whose body does he think will go to jail?  What is he, retar . . . oh wait.

Karl goes on a spending spree buying jewelry for Rose.  When she asks where he got the money, he says his stock split 2 for 1 and he cashed out.  So apparently, the writer thinks a stock split doubles your money.  She says the jewelry has to go back because she is engaged.  We then get to meet her fiancee — a long-haired poet with a soul-patch.  Maybe she should have held on to the jewelry; something tells me Rose will be supporting this guy for a while.

But then, she’s no prize either — coming out of the shower and getting into bed wearing a towel.  Did we use up the season’s NQ (nudity quota) with Bits of Love?  So no more naughty bits of love?  Karl senses the detective investigating Valerian’s and Talbot’s murders is getting too close, so he calls anonymously and sets up a meeting behind a bar (in the alley, not the place where the bartender stands.  He bops the detective on the melon with a beer bottle and takes his gun.  Karl considers shooting him, but instead uses his gizmo to transfer the cop’s mind into his.

olsecondthoughts11

All those people in his head, and tragically not one stylist.

Since the last meet-up went so well, Karl phones Rose’s fiancee and says she was in an accident. Pretending to be a cop, he gives the him the address of the parking lot.

The poet pulls into the lot, and leaps from the car, she’s all he’s got, but he doesn’t get far.

A car ahead flicks on its lights, it has the poet dead in its sights, it guns the engine and spins its tires, it doesn’t care what he desires.

Aw screw it, Karl runs the poet’s ass down and absorbs his brain.

It didn’t go where I expected it to, which is probably a good thing.  I can’t figure out why Karl or Valerian keep adding more souls to the mix.  Of course, Valerian makes sense, but why would he or Karl want Talbot with them?  Or the others?  Also, a big deal is made over the fact that Talbot was dead during his transfer — then nothing is done with that.

Mandel probably did about as well as could be done with the part.  The scenario of a mentally challenged man possessed by five personalities is just risky.  It is way too easy to come off looking silly, especially for a comedian.  So credit to Mandel for attempting it and doing pretty well.  Otherwise, kind of a meh outing.

olsecondthoughts12

I feel your pain.

Post-Post:

  • [1] I kinda see how he might cash in, stealing them from a dead guy. But how did Hans Gruber expect to cash in the bonds from the Nakatomi heist?  Wouldn’t the serial numbers have been reported stolen immediately?
  • Or are they regulated by the same body that allowed Bane to bankrupt Bruce Wayne despite a thousand witnesses and an electronic audit trail?
  • [2] Oh the irony.
  • Title Analysis:  OK, he has a second consciousness in his head.  But he also has a third, fourth and fifth.  Why does the second one get top billing?
  • References sadly not used:  Deal or No Deal, St. Elsewhere or that f-ing surgical-glove-over-the-head thing.

The Veil – The Return of Madame Vernoy (1958)

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vreturn01A beautiful woman named Sita Vernoy died in August 1927 in Delhi.  A beautiful baby girl named Santha Naidu was born in August 1928.  In between, a pretty un-noteworthy 12 months for beautiful people.

Rama comes to Santha’s mother wishing to marry her.  Mrs. Naidu says that Santha is already married with a child — in another life.  Santha was born with memories of another life and still has those feelings.  Santha tells Rama she must go to her husband from her previous life.  She cuts short her rendezvous with Rama and says she must begin her journey.  Cuckmeister General Rama offers to accompany Santha and her mother.

Meanwhile, in France, Professor Charles Gencourt (Boris Karloff) has arrived to tell Armand Vernoy his son Krishna has been accepted to college in America.  Sadly, Vernoy does not have the money to send him, and Krishna will have to work in the Punjab Dell Computer Call Center all his life.

vreturn05Santha shows up at casa de Vernoy and tells Krishna she is his mother.  She throws her arms around Armand and claims to be his wife. Under-standably, Krishna does not accept this woman his same age to be his mother.  Not so understandably, Armand does not accept this woman 40 years younger than him to be his wife.  Dude!

Armand tells Santha that he cannot afford to send Krishna to America.  Santha is able to show him jewels that she, in her previous life as Sita Vernoy, hid in the base of a statue.  Despite Santha claiming to be his wife, finding untold rupees of jewels, and being 1/3 his age, Armand just can’t open his heart to her . . . his stupid, stupid heart.

Santha leaves.  Armand tells his son that he can go to America after all and take the job of an American.  Woohoo!

A fairly dull episode in a fairly mediocre series.  It is strange that Karloff’s role is entirely dispensable.  It would have made more sense for him to play Armand, who was not Indian.  The tragic figure here seems to be Rama.  He appears to be the only actual Indian in the cast (despite the actor being named Julius Johnson), and he is totally cucked by this snotty girl who claims to be married to an elderly Frenchman.

vreturn12Title Analysis:  Better than the episode.  The “return” is her rebirth, her return to Armand, and stretchingly her return to Delhi.

I rate it Return to Sender.

Post-Post:

  • Trigger Warning:  Santha Naidu is played by Lee Torrance, whose name doesn’t look very Indian.  Krishna is played by George Hamilton, whose name doesn’t look very Indian. Mrs. Naidu is played by Iphigenie Castiglioni whose name looks like someone fell asleep at the keyboard.
  • Hmmmm . . . I wonder if that was the same Iphigenie Castiglioni who was in Return of the Hero and The Weird Tailor.
  • Yes, I will use that line every time she shows up.

Alfred Hitchcock Presents – Relative Value (03/01/59)

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We open with a tight shot of a check.  What can we deduce from this?

ahprelativevalue1

  1. A 50 pound check was written by Felix Manbridge to his son John Manbridge .
  2. John Manbridge has hauled this unwieldy check from Felix Manbridge to the Townbridge Branch.  They are in London; probably near the bridge.
  3. It is 1930; Felix has foolishly purchased check stock with “19__”  pre-printed which will be obsolete in 70 years.

After actually watching for 5 seconds, I see my errors.  The check didn’t weigh 50 pounds; WTH was I thinking?  However, I had no way of knowing that John forged his cousin Felix’s signature.  He explains, “You needn’t blame me for that.  I wouldn’t have done it if I’d had any alternative!”  He is now back to shamelessly ask for another £100.

Felix tells his parasitic brother that he simply doesn’t have the money.  I believe he is sincere, but coming from a guy in a snappy three-piece suit, sitting in the mahogany-walled library of his country home, being attended to by a butler, I can see how John would be dubious.  On top of that, Felix says he is very ill and John will soon inherit everything anyway.  So no reason to murder him, nosiree . . .

ahprelativevalue3Felix warns John that if there is another forgery — just one more little felony — he will prosecute.  Denholm Elliott must have specialized in portraying this kind of upper class leech.  In The Crocodile Case, he murdered his girlfriend’s husband and assumed his comfortable life [1].  In The Coffin, he constantly sponged off his brother [2].  Indiana Jones was wise to keep him away from that Crystal Skull.  Or maybe his agent was wise to keep him away from it. [3]  He leaves in a snit, complaining that this was a waste of his time.

Like any responsible broke bloke, his first stop is at the bookie.  He finds the odds never in his favor, but really just stopped by to see if the bookie had cashed the check “from Felix” he gave him yesterday.  Sadly, it was deposited and will soon be bouncing back the bookie’s way, causing Felix to call the coppers.

Like any responsible broke bloke, his second stop is at the pub.  This time it is just to make an appearance to establish an alibi.  If only he worked this hard at getting a job.  He trots down the road in his nice shoes, three-piece suit and gloves to where he stashed a bike to throw off the timeline.  He ditches the bike in a pond near the house and continues on foot.

ahprelativevalue4Through the window, John sees Felix has understandably dozed off listening to the most boring radio show in history not airing on NPR — a lecture about life insurance and actuarial tables. Getting no answer at the door, he knocks on the window. Felix does not respond, so he opens the window and climbs in.  Felix still doesn’t move, so John takes this opportunity to poke him in the head with a fireplace whacker; no wait, to whack him in the head with a fireplace poker.

In his dead brother’s pocket, John finds a check made out to him for £100.  Awww, what a softy the old guy is; especially around that bloody spot on his noggin.  For some reason, John burns the check — the one piece of loot he actually is legally entitled to.  John dumps Felix out of the chair and ransacks the library to make it look like a robbery.

He then doubles back to make it appear he just arrived.  A constable is biking by as John is rapping on Felix’s door.  I guess the police don’t get guns or cars in England.  The constable walks around to thewindow and sees Felix on the floor.  He climbs in, checks the body and goes through the house to let John in the front door.  The constable tells John he doesn’t know what happened, then produces a suicide note signed by Felix.  This guy is not detective material.

The 2nd half of the episode is a real detective trying to makes sense of the crime scene.  Both the writer and John Manbridge did fine jobs of planning the crime, establishing an alibi, and enabling the detective to deduce his way to the truth.  Elliott’s performance made the first half and the unraveling of the story made the second half.  I can’t bring myself to spoil it.

Despite being pointlessly set a long time ago in a country far, far away, this was another great episode.

[UPDATE] Going back in for pics, I realized I had missed some awesome foreshadowing when John read his brother’s suicide note.  Bravo!  Just great stuff!

Post-Post:

  • [1] Until he was sent to prison for murder.
  • [2] Until his brother murdered him from beyond the grave.
  • [3] Or maybe he had been dead 15 years.
  • AHP Deathwatch: No survivors.