Ray Bradbury Theater – A Sound of Thunder (S3E6)

The arrogant Mr. Eckels steps off the elevator into the lobby of Time Safari Inc.  Maybe part of his superior attitude is that he sees the lunkheads at RBT have pluralized safari with an apostrophe — SAFARI’S.

He hands over his ticket and is introduced to safari guide Travis, the poor man’s Muldoon.  Eckels hands him a data card which provides Travis with biographical info.  He is a big game hunter who has “shot everything.”  His quickness to hand over payment tells us maybe he is a bored rich-boy content to let his guides do the heavy lifting until he can get out of the air-conditioned Jeep and plug the animals.

Once they are suited up and armed, they march through a needlessly smokey corridor to the time machine.  As they go, Eckels quotes extensively and grandiloquently from the company’s brochure.  Bradbury did not have Serling’s weakness for padding out scenes with extended monologues, but he never quite mastered the difference between writing for the page versus the screen.

Out of chars and ashes, like golden salamanders, the old years, the green years, will leap.  Roses sweeten the air, white hair turns black, wrinkles vanish.  All, everything flies back to seed.  Flee death.

That’s great on the page, but not so much on screen; and also probably not so much in a company brochure.  Travis, appropriately, snorts in Eckels’ general direction.

rbtsound02They materialize 60 millions years in the past.  A silver anti-gravity walkway extends from the ship, into the jungle.  The group is warned to stay on the path.  The death of even a single roach or flower or blade of grass could have catastrophic effects millions of years in the future.

Eckels does turn out to be a panicky Pete.  When the T-Rex comes into view, he is clearly terrified — bug-eyed and quivering.    As it draws closer, we get another classic Bradbury better-on-the-page exclamation from Eckels, “My God, it could reach up and grab the moon!”

rbtsound04In awe of the creature’s size, Eckels fearfully says, “No one can kill that.  It can’t be killed.”  Travis orders him back to the ship, but he is frozen in fear.  He begins backing away and steps off the pathway.  Travis and the rest of the group shoot the dinosaur.  Eckels joins the fun by firing wildly at the animal.  As punishment, Eckels is made to dig the bullets out of the carcass — pack it in, pack it out.

They return to the future, but find differences ranging from subtle to horrific.  Travis examines Eckels’ boots and sees that when he fell from the platform, he killed a butterfly, setting in motion a series of changes which millions of years later would catastrophically result in an Ashton Kutcher movie.

Given the budget and the chowderheads producing this series, they did about as good a job as could have been expected.  I’m on the fence about Kiel Martin as Eckels — either he perfectly personifies Eckels’ fear-cloaked-in-arrogance, or he is just a complete ham.  John Bach is great as the guide.  Yeah, the effects are not Jurassic Park, but you work with what ya got, and they seemed to make the most out of what they had.

The last frame of the episode contains a shock even if you know it is coming.  Congrats to RBT for getting surprisingly dark.  In the context of the series, I’d have to say this was a success, one of the best.

rbtsound08Post-Post:

  • This is arguably Bradbury’s most famous story.  At one time, it was the most frequently reprinted story in history.  Naturally, it is not in the “100 Most Celebrated Tales” collection that I have.
  • First published in Collier’s Magazine in 1952.
  • NZ-LOTR Connection:  John Bach played Madril in 2 movies.  Director Costa Botes (who also directed The Dwarf) was a cameraman on the 1st one.
  • The story pre-dates the Chaos Theory concept of the Butterfly Effect, and I don’t see any evidence that it was named after the story; but that’s a pretty big coincidence.

Mistress of Snarling Death – Paul Chadwick

25 stories for $.99; they must be good.  Part II of XXV.

For the 2nd story in a row, a car is stuck in the mud.  I’ll say this for Global Warming, cars don’t get mired down in a drought.  Well, unless there used to be a lake there.  The unfortunate motorist this time is Stephen Demerest.

He has wandered lost among fields and deserted farms seeking help.  Finally he sees a young girl in a cloak.  He asks her the way to the Halliday house.  When she doesn’t respond, he approaches her, prompting six large black dogs to defend her by forming a circle.  Silently, she begins walking away and Demerest follows her; so the dogs are cool with stalking.

He finds himself at the door of the Halliday house and recalls the letter that Halliday sent to him.  It says their fathers were friends, and Halliday has no one else to turn to for help.  Demerest is to come to his house in the guise of a radio repairman, and be prepared to act when Halliday gives the signal.  For this task, Demerest has received $500.

All he recalls about Halliday is that he married well, but his wife took off, leaving him to raise their infant daughter.  The door is opened by a butler with hideous facial deformities —  a twisted mouth, one empty eye socket, broken teeth.

He is handed off to another equally grotesque servant, a squat gnome-like dwarf who takes him to Halliday’s bedroom.  There he formally meets Halliday and the couple attending to him, Eric and Nana.

Demerest soon learns that the couple is blackmailing Halliday.  They are dealt with through much shooting, running, fighting, flaying by dogs, tearing of night-clothes, and exposing of alabaster shoulders.

Halliday is afraid that in trying to shelter his beautiful daughter from attractive men who might lure her away, he has made her vulnerable to con-men like Nick.  Or Nana, if you get my drift.

He promises Demerest a princely sum if he will take care of his beautiful, virginal young daughter with the smoking body, and see that she meets some good man for love and marriage.  I think this will have the same outcome as putting Dick Cheney in charge of the 2000 VP search committee.

Another fun one.  Lots of grotesque figures, as they were called then — now, challenged or otherly-abled.  Plenty of action, and the occasional flashes of skin.  Sadly, no one was stripped naked and hung from a rafter like in Blood for the Vampire Dead.  But I guess that can’t be part of every story or it would get boring after 20 or so.

 Post-Post:

  • Published in Ace Mystery, July 1936
  • Also that month:  Lucky Luciano sentenced to 30-50 in the big house.

Alfred Hitchcock Presents – The Three Dreams of Mr. Findlater (S2E30)

The ubiquitous John Williams just appeared in I Killed the Count three episodes ago.  That  story was told over the span of 3 weeks and still seemed shorter than tonight’s offering.

Williams is a hen-pecked man of 54 whose nagging wife won’t even let him play solitaire in peace, nagging him about talking to younger women, and taunting him about his thinning hair.  AHP really stacks the deck by casting a woman 12 years older than him as his wife.  Didn’t they know that by Hollywood law, after a 5 year difference, you’re supposed to cast the woman as the mother?

Finally, he has had enough and goes upstairs to his man-cave, decorated with posters of Tahiti, Mexico and Hawaii (still 2 years away from statehood, ergo still officially exotic).  His eyes land on the poster beckoning him to “Come to the South Seas . . . Land of Enchantment” (later bogarted by New Mexico for its license plates).  It also features a woman in a sarong with an orchid behind her ear.  He has named her Lalage.

His imagination sweeps him away to titular Dream # 1 in the South Seas where Lalage welcomes him with a drink served in a pineapple.  She knows how to make him relax even tells him his thinning hair makes him look important and distinguished.  Wow, she’s turning me on!

He confesses that there is a titular Dream # 2 without Lalage where he comes home to find the maid in tears.  Their doctor comes down the stairs and tells him his wife has died of a stroke.

The next day, out for a very British walk in his suit, flat cap, and umbrella in hand, he imagines Lalage in the woods.  She joins him and they fortuitously find an abandoned car with a pistol laying on the seat.  Now that he is packing untraceable heat, he is starting to have a titular Dream # 3 . . . about Minnie.

He and Lalage come up with a plan to murder Minnie involving a goofy disguise and the unlikely act of Williams climbing down a rope from a 3rd story window and back up.  After months of working on an alibi, and his upper body strength, Williams decides it is time to do the deed.

In disguise, he goes to his own house.  The maid meets him in tears just as in Dream # 2.  The doctor comes down the stairs just as in Dream # 2.  And Minnie has had a stroke just as in Dream # 2.

ahpfindlater06So what?  This is AHP — where is the murder?  Where is the post-game comeuppance?  Minnie died just as Williams desired, and he is completely in the clear as he did nothing to cause her death.  Hitchcock does not even have his standard epilogue in this episode — he is shown asleep and snoring.

He’s not the only one.

OK, it was actually pretty good and Williams is always a pro.  It’s just not what I’m looking for from AHP.

Post-Post:

  • AHP Deathwatch:  No survivors.
  • The name Lalage shows up in several places, but nothing seems relevant to her character — a yacht, an asteroid, a few animals.  The name shows up in a Roman Legion marching song by Kipling.  It would have been a nice allusion if Williams had been working on a history of the Roman Legion rather than Exminster.
  • Story by A.A. Milne, creator of Winnie the Pooh.  Is that why there is no killing?  Although that Eeyore was really asking for it.

Blood for the Vampire Dead – Robert Leslie Bellem

pulpfiction0125 stories for $.99; they must be good.

Despite the cover, there are no Apes, Sexfiends, Gangsters, Mad Scientists, or Tentacles in this story; not even a blimp or anything particularly politically incorrect.  Still, how can I complain about not getting my $.04 cents worth?

Tim Croft is a doctor whom the state has stationed in a rural Ozarks community.  I am not clear why the state is choosing where he should practice unless possibly he majored in rickets.

Late one night, Jeb Starko — from up at Haunted Holl’r — bangs on his door.  Starko claims the Ludwill clan is going to kill his wife Eula because they think she is a witch-vampire.  Eula is currently under the doctor’s care and Dr. Croft knows this is not true for 2 reasons.

Nurse Brenda comes out to see what the commotion is.  Someday she and Croft will marry, but for now she is rooming with the other nurse Edith.  Now we’re talkin’!

The Ludwills show up carrying “the inert form of a young girl, stripped stark naked and horribly pallid in the lantern glow.”  Croft is immediately taken aback as he did not get them anything.  Turns out that is Ludwill’s daughter, and he is accusing Eula of being a vampire, stringing his daughter up in the woods and drinking her blood.  Sure enough, she does have what appear to be fang marks on her neck.  Although, I prefer to think they were from necking with with Brenda and Edith.

pulpmegablood01

Not to nitpick, but she really is supposed to be naked based on the story.

Croft tells him that Eula is innocent.  And dead.  Unfortunately, this news news to her husband.  Ludwill can’t quite believe it either and asks to see her body.  They go to the hospital but can’t see her body because it is gone.  However, everyone does get a good look at Edith’s body as she has been stripped and hung upside down naked from a rafter.  She too has been drained of blood and has wounds on her neck.

That night Croft and Brenda try to flee the town, but get stuck in the mud.  Croft is knocked out and Brenda is gone when he awakens.  He goes to the Starko house and sees Eula sitting at a table before bowls of blood.  He then hears Brenda screaming in a nearby cave.  He finds the Ludwills have strung Brenda up as revenge.  During a fight, Starko enters the cave and attempts to puncture Brenda’s neck.

Croft grabs him and says, “You’re through killing girls for their blood!”  The doctor describes Starko’s motives and actions with Holmesian precision.  As justice was served, the doctor tells the Ludwills “I will not hold it against you for knocking me out and kidnapping my sweetheart.”  Yeah, and stripping her naked, hoisting her from a rafter, and using her as bait for a killer.  Bygones.  Do come over Wednesday night for Uno.

Post-Post:

  • Appeared in Mystery Tales, March 1940.
  • Also that month, Hitler and Mussolini meet in Brenner Pass to confirm their bromance.
  • Archaic words:  Eldritch — weird and sinister or ghostly.
  • Bellem is apparently best know for his creation of detective Dan Turner.  Good article here that makes me want to read more by him.
  • He also turned out dozens of scripts for some of the most popular TV shows in the 1950’s.

Night Gallery – The Diary (S2E8)

ngdiary01

One of the less hideous NG paintings.

For some unknown reason, the Season 1 box set includes 3 episodes from later seasons.  Why would this be?

Shame?  Because they hooked rubes like me into buying the “Complete First Season” box set without stating on the box that it was only 6 episodes? Unlikely.

Teaser?  Because they wanted to demonstrate that the show got better in later seasons inducing people to buy the future box sets?  Well, The Diary was good but the rest of the episode — three brief sketches — only range from OK to God-awful.

Incompetence?  Seems like a stretch.  Printing the episode order wrong inside the box is one thing, but I can’t imagine they just screwed up that badly.  Although, there is also a sleeve for a booklet in the box set which mocks me in its empytude.

Patty Duke is a TV gossip columnist dishing dirt on has-been movie star Carrie Crane (played by has-been [1] movie star Virgina Mayo).  Patty is expressing her disgust at Crane for being busted last night for drunk and disorderly conduct on Sunset Strip.  This is back in the day when such a thing was not actually considered a publicity coup.  She is very dismissive of the aging Crane and reminds her that she is an “old broad,” not an “ingenue on the rise.”

We see this scene on the portable TV of Duke’s condo doorman.  He is shocked to see the real Carrie Crane walk up to his desk . . . mostly shocked that she is walking in a straight line.  She asks to go up to see Duke. She charms him and crashes Duke’s New Year’s Eve party.  Duke is no more civil in person. She berates Crane and threatens to have the doorman fired for letting her in the building.

ngdiary03Crane is far classier, having brought Duke a gift — well, a gift that will tear apart the fabric of her realty, but still a gift.  Duke calls her a “grandmother” and boots her out. Duke does open the gift after she leaves, though, perhaps intending to re-gift it.  It is a diary with January 1st already filled in in Duke’s handwriting — it describes the suicide of Crane.

Duke hears screams and sees from the balcony that Crane has been run over and killed. OK, that one’s a gimmee — it’s not tough to predict your own suicide, Nostradamus.  Although why walk down all those stairs when there is a balcony right there.  Maybe that lack of flair for the dramatic is why she is a has-been.

The January 2nd entry automatically writes itself — OK, that is starting to get spooky.  It predicts Duke’s vacation plans and her phone being broken — and this is one of the old AT&T-issued phones that could withstand an atomic blast.  The diary is 2 for 2.

ngdiary05

BTW, mother of Samwise Gamgee.

She describes the diary to her $35 / hour shrink who has plausible explanations for the diary’s predictions.  In his office, she notices the entry for January 3rd — it describes in her handwriting the death of her boyfriend.  But in such a way that she could not cause, or have caused it, or will have caused it.

She finds that the January 4th page is blank.  In the entry on the 3rd she had wondered — well, her handwriting wondered — how she can live with herself after the lives being lost due to her cruelty.  She takes the blank next page as evidence of her suicide.

She has herself locked in a sanitarium and insists that she be given no sharp instruments in order to survive the day.  Natch, there is a twist that I’m not sure makes sense.  But it does press enough buttons — at least on me — to make me squirm a little and still be thinking about it.  Your mileage may vary.

Post-Post:

  • Twilight Zone Legacy:  David Wayne was in Escape Clause.
  • The nurse in the sanitarium is Lindsey Wagner in one of her first roles.  For some reason, she just seems amazing in this nothing of a role — far better than Diane Keaton in Room with a View.
  • Also included in the episode: The Big Surprise — well executed and written by TZ master Richard Matheson, but really no meat there.  A Matter of Semantics — very short one-note sketch, interesting only if you want to see the guy who played the Joker on TV against Adam West’s Batman.  Professor Peabody’s Last Lecture — unbearably awful in execution and a dreadful punchline despite the presence of the usually great Carl Reiner.
  • [1] Has-been is pretty harsh . . . I feel just terrible.