ears wings ears wings ears wings
One of those fabulous, inclusive, multi-cultural TV gangs — that is more diverse than actual TV — is walking across campus when they spot a member of the denim-wearing tribe that “has had it 2 good for 2 long.” 2 be 4gotten. Glamorously coiffed Wizard, of the bare-chest-covered-only-by-open-sleeveless-shirt-studded-clothes tribe looks into his handsome adversary’s dreamy eyes and unbuckles his belt. To the surprise of everyone, it is to use it as a weapon.
While my belt has certainly been choking the life out of me lately, a belt is no match for the switchblade held by Colfax. Wizard, contrary to his name, has stupidly brought a belt to a knife fight. It works out, though, as he is soon pummeling Colfax with his fists. 80’s babe Adrienne Barbeau jumps into the fray and roughly pushes Wizard off of Colfax. All the while, the scene is being observed by a gargoyle with glowing red eyes.
The principal chastises her, calling the students “animals”. She corrects him by pointing out they are “children” . . . 6-foot tall, muscular, violent children. That night, Adrienne dreams of the gargoyle and claws the stuffing out of her mattress.
In class the next day, she says, “We will start by conjugating the verb to be.” How remedial is this high-school class? Wizard and Trojan walk in late and constantly disrupt class with their proud ignorance. Adrienne asks why they bother coming to school and Trojan says, “because I like your legs, baby.” This guy truly is an imbecile. Adrienne Barbeau may indeed have a fine set of pins. However, I have never once in my life heard anyone mention any body parts below her chest; or maybe now, her waist.
Adrienne picks Trojan up with one arm and slams him against the wall. “You are an insect. I’d like to break your wings, little bug.” Nothing is scarier than a broken Trojan, but Wizard comes to his friend’s side, and both are saved by the bell. Adrienne seems genuinely surprised at what she just did.
There is a good scene as she is walking to class with a fellow teacher who is frustrated by the criminals she has to teach. Adrienne peels off and starts pounding a guy’s head against the lockers. That’s the good part.
No, that’s her foot.
The next day, she is reading to the class from The Wives of Brixham by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. Hehe . . . Longfellow. Wizard starts cranking some tunes. Adrienne quite reasonably smashes the noise-box, then throws him out of the classroom.
The guys are getting tired of Adrienne pushing them around. Trojan, looking fab in long dangling silver earrings, silver necklaces, a silver braided waist-necklace, white pants with sleeveless back shirt, one fingerless white glove, a three-inch belt, and a huge 10-years-too-late afro, tells his trilby-wearing mulletted gang-mate that they are tired of looking like fools.
Wizard grabs a Louisville Slugger and goes looking for Adrienne. Unfortunately for him, he finds her looking more gargoyley than usual. She attacks Wizard, then I start to lose track; and interest. Clearly, with the sunken red eyes, sharp teeth, and unmanicured claws, she has been possessed by the gargoyle. After beating Wizard even more senseless, she sees herself in the mirror and backs into an electrical panel which explodes; then the gargoyle on the roof is struck by lightning. But which was the cause and which the effect? Or was either either? After several more lightning strikes, the gargoyle is completely destroyed and Adrienne collapses to the ground.
Wizard: You could have killed me.
Adrienne: I couldn’t let that happen.
Me: Hunh?
Wizard says “Thanks” and helps her up. So maybe it was all worth it.
Closing narration: We are told damned places exist — buildings where madness permeates the very bricks and mortar. We are told sometimes dedication and kindness can purge the evil from those walls . . . a lesson to be learned in the study halls of The Twilight Zone.
It is never explained why the gargoyle chose her to enter (other than her being Adrienne Barbeau), or if she understood what was happening to her. They only had 10 minutes to work with, though, so maybe I should grade on a curve.
On the other hand, the outro is not merely missing exposition, it is completely backwards. Wizard’s kindness did not exorcise the demon from Adrienne or the school. He only turned from Goofus to Gallant after the gargoyle was destroyed.
Meh, just not much going on here.
Post-Post:
- Written by Steven Barnes who also wrote the excellent Stitch in Time.
- Coincidentally, I assume, director Bill Norton also directed Gargoyles (1972). Or maybe dude just loved gargoyles.
- Miguel A. Núñez Jr. (Trojan) went on to have an incredibly busy career.
- Available on YouTube.
This might not last long. How do make science-fiction dull? You have the entire known universe at your disposal. If that isn’t quite enough, you can make a new universe designed to your specs. You can people it with plants, you can plant it with monsters, you can faun over the flora, be floored by the fauna, you can have it be devoid of life or have snotty omniscient beings. How do you take this canvas and come up with a 
We open with shots of experimental aircraft and the voice-over tells us we are in the California Desert. Hot damn — Edwards Air Force Base! This series immediately bought a ton of goodwill.
Another officer comes in, though, and shoots holes through that theory like so much swamp gas. First, radar determined the XF was never weightless. Second, the XF’s debris is now magnetized after being close to “an airship flying on magnetic power.”
Sam Whipple is reading a newspaper with the headlines KOREAN TRUCE NEGOTIATIONS STALLED and LIVING COSTS ZOOM UP. He comments that things are a mess, then turns to the camera and breaks the 4th cardboard wall.
Jarvis and his daughter Mary are able to observe the past on a TV screen. They actually witness the scientist making the faux pas that doomed the earth. Mary suggests time-traveling back to 1952 to stop this catastrophe, but Jarvis says that is impossible. Only someone from that prehistoric era can affect the past.
Whipple agrees to go back to 1952 and stop Dr. Thorne from making his fatal mistake. In the past, Whipple is able to burn Thorne’s notes which apparently contained directions and all known copies of plans for the cyclotron. He goes back home and straps on the time-vest. Unfortunately his sister has smashed the machine so he will stop acting like a kid.
Paul Tripp, who appeared as Whipple also wrote the script. Even aside from the 4th-wall bits, the episode gets a little meta. Mary Jarvis is played by Ruth Enders, who was married to Tripp for 53 years. When he introduces his new girlfriend at the end, he says her name is Ruth.
“Our story begins in Europe where Peter Wade has established a thriving air service.” It would have been nice for Karloff to tell us whether he meant Peter Jr or Sr. And just why would you write a screenplay and give two of the characters exactly the same name? “Hi, I’m Henry Jones, Sr. — they call me Indiana too!”
That night, Sr is having nightmares about the war and a B-17 crash that killed his friend Wally Huffner. Jr comes in to wake him up. Sr says they were in a plane that was hit by the Jerrys in WWII. Sr gave Wally his parachute and was able to pilot the damaged plane to the ground. Sadly, Wally croaked, or more accurately splatted as the chute didn’t open; or maybe it had been replaced by a share of 
Jr tells Sr that he saw Wally’s ghostly face and his voice. He shows Sr a parachute with the serial number 0-1636184. Jr uses this evidence to tell his father that another man died in that crashed plane — Wally Huffner. Sr took Wally’s parachute back in the war and Wally died in the crash. Well, at least, not long before the crash — Wally could not be captured by the Germans so he insisted Sr give him his cyanide tablet.
Newlywed Helen wakes up and reaches over for her new husband Phil. He is not in bed, which I guess accounts for them sharing a bed. On 1950’s TV, if he were still in bed, they would have had twin beds. That’s some catch, that 
Seconds after the door shuts — there is not even an edit — Pat returns and says, “Helen, I’m sorry.” There is just no way she could have known what just happened unless she was spying on them, hoping to witness some hot shipping-out-tomorrow sex.
Later, at a restaurant, Phil gives Helen a present from his mother — 
Helen, horrified: “Oh, no no no.”