Tales from the Crypt – Mute Witness to Murder (S2E15)

tftcmutewitness03Suzy and Paul are celebrating their anniversary with friends in their penthouse apartment.  Their guests must not have read the anniversary invitation because they are dressed in Halloween costumes — a viking, a convict; even Suzy has little bunny ears.  Paul’s suspenders are not wide enough to be Gordon Gecko and he’s not wearing glasses, so he’s not Larry King.

After the guests leave, Paul goes inside to get Suzy’s present.  She notices their neighbors come home and their terrace has a perfect view into their apartment.  After short argument, the man picks up a lamp and really nails his wife.  The motion and sound are brutal.

Amazingly she gets back up and continues running her yap.  Then he rips out the curtain cord and strangles her.

tftcmutewitness04Suzy witnesses this, but is unable to tell Paul as the trauma has left her with hysterical muteness.  And maybe also hysterical writer’s cramp as she doesn’t bother to just jot down that a woman was just murdered.

Paul runs out to get a doctor, which turns out to be the murderous neighbor (Richard Thomas, last seen in The Outer Limits).  Sadly, the director totally botches the reveal of Thomas as the doctor.

Only when Paul tells him that this happened on the terrace does he realize that Suzy witnessed the murder.  When she tries to attack the doctor, he shoots her with a gigantic syringe, and takes her to the sanitarium that he runs.

tftcmutewitness13He installs her in a straitjacket and checks her into a padded room.  The doctor has his own medical problem, a heart condition which requires medication in times of stress.  Murdering your wife is not enough to bring it on, but being witnessed murdering your wife can set it off.

On Paul’s next visit, Suzy is in her straitjacket, and strapped to a gurney in her padded cell.  Despite this, she is able to communicate with Paul as he tries to guess what happened on the terrace.  When he guesses she saw the doctor do something bad, he gets a syringe in the neck from the doctor.  As Suzy watches helplessly, the doctor breaks her husband’s neck.

When the doctor enters her room to prepare her for a lobotomy, she attacks him, trying to gouge out his eyes.  He regains control and begins choking her, but he starts having the problem with his heart.  He begs Suzy to call the nurse for his pills, then remembers, “but you can’t speak.”

Seeing a little bit of justice being served, Suzy says, “Oh yes I can,” and let’s him die.

Like the reveal of the doctor, this is played very matter-of-factly.  It is a great twist that she has regained her voice but purposely remains mute in order to let the him die.  The irony could have been emphasized more, especially in a TFTC episode.

Richard Thomas can always be counted on to deliver.  Patricia Clarkson gives a great performance on top of her great offbeat beauty.  The direction — or maybe it is just the set design — stands out with the use of levels and windows.  There are several nicely composed shots, but there are some directorial problems.

As mentioned, the reveals are not handled well.  Also, Richard Thomas’ performance is at a different tone the rest of the cast.  I enjoyed the episode, but it would have been even better had the director followed Thomas’ lead.

tftcmutewitness09a

Nice composition!

Post-Post:

  • The only TV directing credit for Jim Simpson.
  • One of three writing credits for Nancy Doyne.

Outer Limits – The Voice of Reason (S1E21)

Sometimes I wish I had an editor.  The downside, of course, is that I would be fired immediately.  But it would be nice to be able to ask someone, “C’mon this is a clip-show, do I really have to do a post?”  I would happily skip it with permission, but my completist philosophy forces me to watch it.

olvoiceofreason01aFor the very observant, there is a clue in the first few seconds that Dr. Strong, titular Voice of Reason, is screwed.  The brown swirly globe representing the alien home world in Birthright is sitting on the conference table.

Strong is escorted into the room and begins setting up his material. An elite panel from the government enters including Captain Furillo from Hill Street Blues and the poor man’s Dean Norris, Don S. Davis.  The cunning tease of the brown globe is ruined as it is in the prominently displayed right in front of Furillo.  Nice work, guys.

Dr. Strong says the United States, and possibly the world, is being overrun by aliens. Just before the government team immediately grants them amnesty, he  specifies — extraterrestrials.  He tells the panel he is scared to death.

Exhibit A is the aliens from The Sandkings which not-Dean Norris dismisses as a hoax. Furillo tries to dismiss the meeting, but the newest member on the committee says he would like to hear more.

Exhibit B is the doomed Mars mission from The Voyage Home which is dismissed as an accident.

Exhibit C is the space dildo from Caught in the Act, looking a lot more pointy than I realized when I first called it that.  Furillo doesn’t dismiss this one, he just calls it absurd.

olvoiceofreason03aOne of the committee members compares that incident to the events in If These Walls Could Talk, despite there being no real similarity.  But it does set the clip up as Exhibit D.

Furillo asks for a break to put in some eye drops and slams the brown globe down on the table — a double-shot reference to Birthright.

The committee offers up a counter argument that logically proves nothing and is a waste of time.  They suggest that not all strange events are alien based, for instance the nanobots created in The New Breed.  So what?  That’s the kind of logic we get every Sunday on news shows where the guests are too stupid or biased or cowardly to point out real flaws in each others’ logic.

olvoiceofreason10aExhibit E is the mysterious healing in Corner of the Eye.

Finally we get to Exhibit F, Birthright. Strong says Senator Adams was an alien, and that other aliens are poisoning the atmosphere for human in order to make it hospitable for their race, naturally using the 95 corrupt bastards in congress to unwittingly further their plot.

After the committee votes not to forward Strong’s data to the President, he suddenly remembers the importance of the eye-drops.  This leads to a conclusion that actually surprised me.

This episode doesn’t get much respect, but I enjoyed it.  I’m a sucker for seeing the old characters again whether in clip shows like this, or the unfairly criticized Seinfeld finale.

Post-Post:

  • I just learned that “completest” is a word — that seems unnecessary, like “most unique.”  On the other hand, the perfectly reasonable word “completist” is not recognized by spell-check.
  • Don S. Davis was actually in a Season 1 episode, but it did not involve aliens, so things did not get awkward in this episode.
  • Sadly, Valerie 23 also did not involve aliens.
  • Hulu sucks.

Ray Bradbury Theater – To the Chicago Abyss (S3E9)

Against boredom even gods struggle in vain — Friedrich Nietzsche.

I have heard that phrase all my life but was never interested enough — or bored enough — to look up the context.  So RBT is, at least, contributing to my education.

From Nietzsche’s The Antichrist (1895).  The gods are indeed bored, and that is the reason for the creation of man.  Of course, being gods, they are right, and “man is entertaining.” But now man himself is bored — doh!

The know-it-all gods have an answer for everything, so they create animals to entertain men.  But men are not entertained by animals — at least not until YouTube.

“He sought dominion over [the animals].”

I don’t see these as being mutually exclusive — man can use the dominion over them to force bears to ride bicycles, tigers to jump through flaming hoops and monkeys to really do anything, including being eaten by a bear riding a bicycle — that’s entertainment!

The gods aren’t too concerned about the boredom of the animals, so they take another crack at curing man’s boredom.  Not that they made a mistake the first time!!!  No siree, these are the best and the brightest, the gods, infallible, omnipotent beings, our moral and intellectual superiors in every way.

“So God created woman. In the act he brought boredom to an end — and also many other things!”

I’m not sure what he’s getting at there other than watching TV in your underwear and drinking milk from the carton.  Then Nietzsche really goes off the rails.

“Woman was the second mistake of God — Woman, at bottom, is a serpent, Heva — every priest knows that; from woman comes every evil in the world — every priest knows that, too.”

He then goes on to blame woman for the rise of science, as if that was a terrible thing.  Cuz you know, someone’s gonna put an eye out with the science.

Rrrrright.  I think someone needed a Fraulein.

But that is all from Chapter 48.  Maybe I am still not understanding the context.  Maybe Chapter 49 is called, “Found my Meds, Did I Say Anything Stupid Yesterday?”

Next Week: Where are those mills, and how exactly do they grind so exceedingly small?

But back to Ray Bradbury Theater which bored me in the first place.

rbtchicagoabyss01Harold Gould is scavenging in a trashy possibly post-apocalyptic city when his attention is caught by a woman knitting with real wool — obviously a rarity in this world. He sees a young man lighting up a freshly rolled cigarette and begins wistfully reeling off the names of cigarettes from his youth, presumably our present.

He then goes on in classic Bradbury-is-meant-for-the-printed-page soliloquy about Butterfingers, limes, oranges. The young man roughs him up for reminding him of better times; like before he started speaking.

When he leaves, another man helps him up, saying he had heard of him.  He warns Gould of dangerous memories, sneaking him into an abandoned building where he lives with other like-minds.  Gould is stunned that the man offers him wine.  Cops bang on the door offering canned good for information about Gould.

Despite the temptation, the do not give him up.  The police begin to leave, then turn and up the ante with, “Beans.  Soup.  15 cans.”

The man doesn’t give in.  He seems like a good egg despite calling his wife “Wife” and calling Gould “Old Man.”  He sends Wife to round up their neighbors to hear Gould’s stories of the old days.

And Bradbury lets loose with more of his signature rambles about motion picture houses, popcorn, Orange Crush, phonograph records, dial telephones, harmonicas, kazoos, Jew’s harps, dashboard dials on a Cadillac, etc.

As he goes on, the police bang on the door of the meeting.  The man hustles Gould out of site, and down the fire escape.  The man gives him a ticket on the only remaining train which will take him to the titular Chicago Abyss where the city used to stand — now a crater.

He takes the train, which makes Snowpiercer look like Acela.

Harold Gould does a great job, standing with David Ogden Stiers as the only ones to really make Bradbury’s flowery words work on the screen.

In truth, this episode was no worse than many others, and was certainly better than The Haunting of the New.  In fairness, the rant about boredom would have been more appropriate there; but the cumulative effect is wearing me down.

Post-Post:

  • I’m not sure if it is a coincidence that Gould and Stiers were so effective in their delivery, and the stories were so similar.  Both take place in a fascistic future society where simple pleasures like taking a walk or being nostalgic are criminal offenses.
  • RBT got themselves a real director for a change.  Randy Bradshaw has 40 credits including 21 Jump Street, Goosebumps and the 1980’s Twilight Zone reboot.

Alfred Hitchcock Presents – A Man Greatly Beloved (S2E33)

ahpgreatlybeloved05We get off to a rough start as a really unattractive dentally-challenged little girl — Hildegard — begins directly addressing the camera.

OK, I’m embarrassed to say she won me over almost immediately.

She is writing an essay about her hometown and especially Mr. Anderson.  She believes her father is a little too good looking for a preacher, but is not overly complementary about her mother despite her being extremely hot.

Once Hildegard hears that new resident Anderson won’t allow the annual bazaar to be held in his home’s garden, where it has been held for 75 years, two things happen — Hildegard invades his personal space to change his mind, and we assume there must be a body buried there.

ahpgreatlybeloved06Hildy is friends with an old woman whose son has heard of Mr. Anderson and says he is a retired judge.

At a party where here elderly friend is conducting a seance, Hildy hides under the table and pretends to be a spirit.  She outs Anderson as being a judge.  For some reason, he did not want this known.  Its not like he was a child molester or a senator.

Anderson turns over a new leaf and becomes a new man, even contributing a stained glass window to the church.

Sadly, Mr. Anderson soon dies, making little Hildy cry.  It turns out there was some confusion over his identity.  There was a Judge Anderson who retired, but this was not him. This man was John Laughton, who Judge Anderson had sentenced to 15 years in prison for strangling his wife.  He apparently thought it was a good joke to take that name, kind of like Sawyer on Lost.

Hildegard says he “never told on any one even though they told on him.  He was the kindest man I ever knew — next to my father.”  The wife-strangler was 2nd only to her preacher-father?  Was this the preacher from Seventh Heaven?

ahpgreatlybeloved02

Ha-cha-cha!!!

Another tame but fun story from Winnie the Pooh creator, A.A. Milne, who also contributed the story for the bloodless The Three Dreams of Mr. Findlater.

Hildgard carries the entire episode on her shoulders and pulls it off even for a curmudgeon like me.

Post-Post:

  • AHP Deathwatch:  Still a couple of live ones: Evelyn Rudie (who was only 8 when this aired) and Rebecca Welles.
  • AHP Proximity Alert: Edith Green appeared in an episode just 2 weeks earlier.  C’mon, give someone else a chance!
  • Cedric Hardwicke, played Ramseses’s father and Moseses’s uncle in The Ten Commandments per Wikipedia.  I thought Ramses and Moses were brothers, but I only saw the movie; I didn’t read the book.

Night Gallery – The Hand of Borgus Weems (S2E1)

The real  George Maharis is driving through the city when he loses control of his hand.  He bursts through some construction barricades and nearly runs down a pedestrian.  So the hand also apparently controls the feet since he did not stop.  Also the arm, since the hand itself doesn’t really have much leverage to steer a car.

He goes to a surgeon and requests that the doctor amputate his hand.  The doctor sees nothing wrong with the hand. Thanks to several inter-cut shots, we see the hand contorting.  Also being bathed in a strange psychedelic pulsing light which you might think would catch the doctor’s eye.

Maharis grabs the doctor’s prescription pad and scribbles a Latin phrase that neither recognize.  And the handwriting is awful — maybe it has been the pads’ fault all these years.  He says the hand has attempted murder three times and he is afraid it will eventually be successful.  When the doctor refuses to cut off his hand, he grabs a heavy bust in the office and slams it down onto his hand.

That show of commitment seems to change the doctor’s mind and he goes through with the amputation.  Actually, we are supposed to believe that the damage done to the hand made amputation “mandatory”, but in the operating room, it seems pink and rosy and functional and unbruised.

ngborgusweems03He tells the story of almost running over the pedestrian again to a psychiatrist, complete with the same footage being replayed.

Also how, while making a phone call, he involuntarily called a strange number and identified himself as Borgus Weems, a name he had never heard before.  Actually, I don’t think anyone has ever heard that name before.  So in addition to the foot and the shoulder, the hand also controls the mouth.  When the man he called tracks him down, the hand tries to stab him with a letter opener.

Then he recounts how the murder tried to kill his fiancee.  So in addition to the hand, the shoulder, the foot and the mouth, it also controls his legs which carried him to her apartment. He pulls the gun on her, and struggles to lower it.  He manages to drop the gun and at that moment decides that the hand has got to go.

The surgeon decides to bring in another consultant, this one a detective.  He recalls that a man named Borgus Weems previously rented Maharis’s apartment.  He also dabbled in the black arts, naturally.  Turns out someone had lopped off Weem’s hand at the wrist. His sister, now Maharis’s squeeze, and the other men he tried to kill were both complicit in his maiming and murder.

The doctor sees Maharis getting agitated so he writes him a prescription.  Now the doctor’s hand is possessed and he writes that same Latin phrase again.  Luckily the detective not only speaks Latin, but recognizes it as a quote from Virgil, “Arise my avenger, out of my bones.”  The doctor stares in disbelief at his hand.

ngborgusweems04

No, this isn’t the wind. The Detective’s hair was like this in every shot.   Make-up!!!

An OK story — far from original, but I never deduct points for that — but it is weakened by its goofy structure.  At times I had to orient myself between past and present based on whether Maharis had one or two hands.

Post-Post:

  • Borgus: The concept that a global human consciousness will form, manifested as the nexus of all written knowledge on Earth and the inter-connectivity of that information through computer networks — Urban Dictionary.
  • Parson Weems fabricated the anecdote about George Washington’s honesty vis-à-vis the cherry tree.  Oh, the irony.
  • Twilight Zone Legacy:  Patricia Donahue and William Mims were in one episode each.
  • Two lame short segments not deserving a post (even by me!) starred Leslie Nielsen, Joseph Campanella, and Sue “Lolita” Lyons.
  • Hulu sucks.