For those keeping score, this is the 6th out of 12 episodes of this American series to be set in a foreign country. [1] Host John Newland tells us we are on the Mediterranean island of Cabri Horma. There is no such island, but I’m sure all the other facts in this based-on-true-life paranormal tale are accurate. Kudos to the show for giving a Longitude and Latitude that are actually in the Mediterranean Sea. Even The Twilight Zone struggled with navigation. I’m not sure Science Fiction Theatre would have put it on the right planet.
Mitchell Campion [3] of the Ohio Campions is visiting Cabri Horma solo since the Thailand flight was booked. He goes into the Hotel du Sud and the desk clerk seems to know him, calling him by name. A waitress also recognizes him, calling him by name, and even remembering his favorite dish which is a puta who also recognizes him, but as señor Smith. He tells all of them he has never visited the island, and one of them his room number.
Baffled, he goes out for a walk. He stops in a bar called Mario’s which is like going to a pizza joint called Miguel’s. He is also remembered there, but less fondly. A young man punches him in the face. But he went to an island bar wearing a suit & tie and ordered a cognac. He was really asking for it.
He goes back to the hotel and demands that the clerk show him his name in the register and how a Snickers costs $6 in the mini-bar. A señorita followed him from the bar. While the clerk is doctoring Snickers invoices like they were “original” factory auto dealership invoices during the Labor Day Sale [2], she also calls Campion by name. He seems to recognize her and she runs away in tears. He says, “Francesca”.
John Newland, you were the Spielberg of 1950s TV!
He runs outside, but loses her. He is drawn to a nearby house. As frequently happens in every series I’ve watched in the past 5 years, he feels fine opening the door and looking around. Before he gets into anything interesting, the woman returns. She asks, “Is it true, Mitchell? You really do not remember? Or do you prefer not to remember?” She says, “I release you! You have no responsibility here! Just go!” I’m getting turned just hearing that from a woman.
Mitchell says he thought everyone was playing a joke on him, but he does remember her. He goes back to the hotel and looks at the register. He is utterly baffled that his name is not in the book that he earlier swore it could not possibly be in. Then he realizes that his passport was only issued 10 days ago so he could not possibly have been here before that.
An old man shows Mitchell a photo taken on the island a month ago (left to right: old man, Mitchell, Francesca). Mitchell says that was not possible because he was in the hospital in a coma after a car crash at that time. Turns out his heart stopped for four minutes and he apparently teleported — their word — to the island. In fact it was more like Astral Projection (AP), a Near Death Experience (NDE), an Out of Body Experience (OBE), or the Jimi Hendrix Experience (LSD).
He was drawn to the island when the doctor told him the best treatment was a long vacation now that his insurance ran out. I’m still stumped how he teleported there, then 1) rented a room, 2) bought meals, and 3) banged this chick — yet his name was not in the register. All three of these tasks require a physical presence and, in my case, cash. So why would signing the register be a problem?
I’m sure it was explained in the press. Host John Newland says it was covered in every newspaper in the country. You know, if they weren’t too busy calling Eisenhower Hitler, and covering for the Democratic Party to steal the election from Nixon in 19 months.
Other Stuff:
- [1] Unlike CNN, I use the word “foreign”. Also “riot”.
- [2] This has always sounded like a scam. They advertise selling cars at cost, but has anyone ever taken this to court? Seems pretty easy to fake an invoice.
- [3] Campion was also the name of the soldier who spread the plague outside the lab in The Stand. No relevancy here except I hope they don’t screw up the new adaption. At least the Hollywood standard of casting only dudes with beard stubble and 2% body fat will make sense in a post-apocalyptic world. Although, unlike the COVID world, I suspect hair salons opened in The Stand the next day.
Mr. Lawson says, “I’m not ready to give up yet — I’m a problem solver.” The solution apparently involves tying Glenn spread-eagle on the pool table and breaking a cue across his chest. Lawson had expected Glenn to use his safe-cracking skillz to pay off gambling debts that he owed to Lawson’s gangstas.
With time and money being critical, Glynn naturally hangs out at the pub. Mrs. Lawson finds him there. She dips her shades and he sees that she now has cat eyes, with vertical slit pupils. She wants Glynn to break into her husband’s safe and promises, “You’ll never have to worry about money again.” She says he better agree because her husband is going to kill him in 5 days. Wait, has he just dicked around for the first five days?
Mrs. Meade does go to a lawyer — hey, it’s Mayberry’s 
Mrs. Meade meets Ames drunk and early a week later. He has been watching the Birdwell home for 3 days and has cracked the algorithm that Eileen goes to school in the morning and returns in the afternoon. Since Mrs. Meade has not seen her daughter in 7 years, they drive by the school and Ames is able to point her out at recess.
It was nice to see Mrs. Meade shut down by Phil Ames for multiple reasons. Foremost, of course, she deserved it — using a little girl to blackmail a family. Second, Biff Elliot was phenomenal in the role — he single-handedly redeemed the name Biff in the American arts. Third, Biff played a father in