“One of the most important parts of air research is the efforts of the metal scientists known as robots metallurgists.” They are researching materials that can withstand super-sonic speeds in aircraft. Drs. Connors and Rudman are witnessing another failure in the wind tunnel as a model melts from 2,500 MPH winds.
Dr. Rudman’s daughter Jean enters because, as is usually the case on SFT, the older scientist has no wife, but has a hot daughter. Also, typical of the show, Rudman’s protege happens to be dating the daughter. They go out to dinner, leaving Rudman to his work. He is interrupted by a man in black.
The intruder introduces himself as Ralph Parr and says he just escaped from prison. He knows Rudman has been researching metals and pulls a roll of black metal from his jacket. He demonstrates how the material can be rolled up, and can be easily cut. Then he pulls out a pistol and fires several shots at it. He says, “Lead bounces on this stuff like spitballs off a brick wall.” Hunh, his spit bounces? Maybe this was during the polar vortex of ’56.
Parr asks Rudman what it is worth, and the scientist says, “Priceless, absolutely priceless.” Rudman worries that he is being scammed, but Parr assures him, “Just because I’m a con doesn’t mean I’m a fake.” He hands Rudman the gun and tells him to try it himself. Once he has the gun, Rudman demands that Parr give him the key to the door, although I’m not clear why Parr has the key to a door in Rudman’s house.
When Parr makes a move, Rudman fires the gun. Unfortunately, the bullet ricochets off the mysterious metal and he hits himself. They aren’t fooling around — the shot hits him right in the melon. He puts a hand to his face and falls to the floor.
Soon after, a crime wave is sweeping the city. The police say the robber has “a strange disregard for firearms.” They know his identity but “the mystery of the Bullet-Proof man goes unsolved.” Dr. Connors inexplicably deduces the Bullet-Proof man is the same man who killed Rudman. In the lab, he says, “Whatever the killer stole from this room made him Bullet-Proof.” So, he is completely wrong in both of his deductions. We need an act break to sort this out.
OK, the BP man continues his one-man crime wave. We see the police firing at him as he runs away wearing a cone over his head, or maybe it is the governor of Virginia. Such are the amazing properties of this metal that it somehow prevents the police from firing at his chest, or even chasing him. OK, maybe he is wearing metal long johns, but he seems pretty agile. [1]
Still pursuing his theories 2 weeks later, Connors goes to see George Martin, president of the nation’s largest steel mill who oddly went on to be the Beatles’ go-to producer. Connor wants Martin to issue a press release announcing to the BP man that the metal he possesses would be worth a billion dollars! Parr later hears the announcement on the radio.
Jean and Connors go see Martin after he hears from Parr. Martin says, “He took the bait, but he priced it a little high — $50,000.” Bloody record executives! Wait, was $50k more than a billion in the 1950s? I know the British changed the definition of billion; did we do that too?
Martin stuffs the $50k into a valise. Connors will deliver the loot to Parr. That afternoon, the Connors and Parr meet in the desert. To prove the density of the metal, Parr takes off the black metal cone from his head and sets it on the ground. He fires a bullet that ricochets off the cone. The bullet does not penetrate, and does not even knock the cone over. That also demonstrates the density of the writer.
Connors asks how Parr knew Rudman had this metal, and Parr finally sets him straight. The night he escaped prison, he saw a UFO. He shows Connors some of the debris left behind by the aliens. Connors thinks maybe we can use that metal to visit their planet. Like every villain on AHP, Parr gets busted. He is pretty chill, though. When the cops take the $50k, he says, “Easy come, easy go.”
Footnotes:
- Sadly, the regularly scheduled episode When a Camera Fails does not seem to be online anywhere.
- [1] BP later describes the cone as being “hot as a furnace”, so I don’t think he is wearing the aforementioned long johns.
Two small, trim feet, then shapely legs in thin silk swung below the fire-escape in the dim light of the area way. They swung for only an instant then dropped ten feet to the concrete pavement below . . . Carlotta Wynn, active member of “Mort” Mitchell’s mob waited expectantly for the opportunity to plug the guys who had spoiled one of the prettiest lays the gang had had for many a month.
Orloff cuts open up the corpse looking for soul, but comes up empty. He has a walk-in freezer full of empties proving that his strategy of trawling for souls at Moby concerts is quixotic at best. There is a funny exchange where Orloff asks the guards to dispose of the bodies. After getting $500 to help with one body, Richard shrewdly negotiates only $600 to dispose of 10 bodies.
Anyhoo, they transport the bodies in the open bed of an El Camino, but did at least put them in trash bags so the corpses wouldn’t be embarrassed by being seen in an El Camino. On the way back, after ditching the bodies, Richard is still trying to cheer Charlie up by waving the cash in his face. Does this guy not have a wallet?