Category Archives: TV

Night Gallery – Deliveries in the Rear (S2E19)

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ngdeliveries06On a very foggy night, we see a horse-drawn wagon go to the medical college with a delivery, where they take it in the rear.

Inside, Dr. Fletcher is teaching a surgical class using a cadaver.   He spots his student Mr. Tuttle getting a little pale looking at the cadaver.  Fletcher points out that the cadaver has been cut open and sewn back together many times here to save lives.  This additional information does nothing to settle Tuttle, who faints.  This reaction to routine surgical procedures is where urologists come from.

He gets a message that there is a new delivery in the titular rear.  He can tell that the body has been dead three weeks and not passed through a mortician’s hands.  He tells the men to go back and bury it where they found it.  The next corpse is much fresher — just a couple of hours dead.  He is not so uppity about the provenance on this piece of meat, so he gives them $50.

At his fiance Barbara’s house, her father questions where Fletcher is getting his cadavers.  Fletcher responds with a Clintonian dodge that he needs these bodies to teach young surgeons who will save many lives in their career.  He draws a pretty fine line between the grave-robbers and actually robbing the graves himself.  Besides, he claims, the bodies are always bums.  Fletcher says he puts them to work and give them a purpose.  They are a net benefit to society for the first time in their . . . er, life.

Going into the college the next day, he is accosted by an old woman who says he has her husband Charlie in there.  His day gets no  better when he sees the headmaster Dr. Shockman.  He asks for some assurance that Fletcher is not using grave-robbers.

Fletcher dodges the question, saying that he doesn’t ask questions.  The old lady talked to Shockman also, and the headmaster says the police will be called if Charlie’s body is found in the college.

ngdeliveries12Fletcher places a special order for a dead female from his procurers to be sure Shockman can find no male cadavers on the premises.  It is too cold to dig,so his thugs kill a woman to fill the order.  Hmmmm, special order, short notice, must be female, cold weather . . . $100 for this one; which Fletch forks over.

He lectures the class that the questioning of where the cadavers come from is misplaced.  No individual life is of consequence if it contributes to the saving of many lives.

He changes his tune; more of a scream than a tune, really, as he uncloaks today’s specimen and it is his fiance.

ngdeliveries15A nice piece, well cast and directed.  I just felt like there was something missing to link his fiance to the grave-robbers.  Maybe if she had just mentioned talking a walk in a dangerous part of town when Fletcher was visiting.  As it is, we are left to wonder, did these thugs just break into her house and snatch her?  And why her specifically?

 

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  • Twilight Zone Legacy:  Marjorie Bennett (3), Peter Brocco (2,) Ian Wolfe (1), Walter Burke (1).

Tales From the Crypt – Spoiled (S3E13)

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tftcspoiled06The sexy Fuchsia Monroe is trying to get some attention from her husband / business partner Evian.  When he is more interested in closing a deal, she grabs one of the dudes in the office and begins seducing him with a Hillaryesque “When I see something I want, I take it. Rules aren’t for me.”

The camera pulls back to reveal this is a soap opera being watched by two housewives folding laundry — Janet and Louise.  Janet thinks they should be more aggressive and take-charge in their relationships.

When Dr. Leon gets home, he gives Janet a quick kiss then goes down to his basement lab.  He feels that his new anesthetic might have saved the life of a patient he lost today, so might want to check Wikipedia for what anesthesia actually does.

tftcspoiled07When the TV goes out during a crucial moment in her soap opera, Janet calls the cable company.  They send out their studly installer “Abel, with the cable.”  After some sexual innuendo, he installs her cable.  Before they can really get down to it, he is called away on one of them cable emergencies you always hear about.

A few days later, Leon catches them making out and tries out his new long lasting anesthetic on them.  Bottom line, he does a head transplant.

Fine story, some great casting, and appropriate directorial tone for the series for a change. But for some reason I just couldn’t get into it.  I blame my self.  This is a good episode even if I’m not appreciating it right now.

tftcspoiled08If nothing else it features the beautiful Faye Grant.  She was probably best known for fighting the reptiles as Dr. Julia Grant in the original V.  Now she is probably best known for being married to the reptilian Stephen Collins.

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  • Title Analysis:  I can’t even guess how it connects to the story.
  • This is Connie Johnson’s only writing credit.  Luckily, they teamed her up with veteran Doug Ronning who has two writing credits, both on TFTC.
  • Strange how people are popping up in twos:  Carol Lynley, Harry Guardino, and now Alan Rachins.

Outer Limits – The Deprogrammers (S2E16)

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oldeprog07I wish I could deprogram this from my line-up.  See what I did there?

Earth has been conquered by giant reptilian aliens which have brainwashed and enslaved humanity to be worshipful and submissive to their new masters; just like the media to Obama.

They might be murderous beasts, but they haven’t lost touch with their softer side.  Koltok has 2 human slaves draw him a warm bath in what appears to be the lobby of a hotel.  He then calls for bath oils to go into the viscous goo he bathes in, which already appears to be about 30-weight.  When one of the slaves drops the oil, Koltok slaps him across the room, killing him.

The other slave, Evan, is due to leave that day for a rejuvenation i.e. re-education update after bath time. However, he is abducted from the bus and awakens in a resistance facility run by Professor Davis (Brent Spiner).  To break his literally slavish devotion the lizards, Davis throws him around the room with a strength I doubt Spiner possesses, but gets no reaction.

They then leave him alone in a bedroom with a one way mirror.  When he sees his own reflection for the first time since his enslavement, he passes out.  Davis throws him into a bathtub and sprays him in the face with the shower.  Evan tries to escape, but just happens to open the door where is wife is staying . . . who just happens to be standing right by the door.

oldeprog08This leads to an interminable series of melodramatic scenes meant to bring Evan’s humanity to the surface again.  Finally, after learning of the death of their child, he is back to his old self (no, his old-old self) and agrees to go on a mission to kill Koltok.

Supposedly back from his rejuvenation, Evan is once again drawing Koltok a bath.  He brings the precious oils to him, but drops the bottle in the bath.  The oil has been replaced with some agent that hardens the goo he bathes in so he is trapped.  Evan beats him to death and takes his head back to resistance HQ.  Fortunately, no one along his route questions why he is carrying a blood-soaked white pillow case.  And this was no small head — this was one of those Ted Kennedy 25-pounders.

Unfortunately, the resistance operation is a ruse and this has all been an insidious plot to 1) kill Koltok so his even more eviller rival can succeed him, and 2) waste 45 minutes of my life.

oldeprog09Erich Anderson brings nothing to his role as Evan, though, to be fair he is basically playing a zombie for most of the episode.  His wife did not exactly leap off the screen either.

The big surprise and disappointment was Brent Spiner as the head of the resistance.  Whether it was simple miscasting, or maybe he is just too type-cast as Data, he is largely responsible for the failure of the episode.  Every time he spoke, I heard EmotionChipData, Lore or the young Noonian Soong.

There is also the strange decision to show only the reptile’s arm for most of the episode.  We only get a shot of the head and body near the very end.  While they are certainly monstrous, the reveal is not shocking enough to justify the wait.  And the reptilian arms are not alien enough to generate much suspense about what they are connected to.

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  • Canadian disc title:  Les Déprogammeurs.

Ray Bradbury Theater – The Earthmen (S5E1)

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rbtearthmen03The third expedition has arrived at Mars.  Although, for some reason, in the published Martian Chronicles, the third expedition was the basis for Mars is Heaven.  And the earlier episode And the Moon Be Still as Bright was about the fourth expedition.

This is the first episode of the fifth season, and they seem to have gotten a few bucks for special effects.  It ain’t Avatar, but it is a step up from the usual quality.  The ship lands and the four crewmen start across the desert looking like Reservoir Dogs, except they are all Mr. Orange.  And with about the same life expectancy.

rbtearthmen05The men find an appropriately alien-looking house.  Captain Williams knocks and an appropriately alien-looking woman answers the door.  She has a strange purple/bronze skin which doesn’t seem quite right, but it could be the lousy transfer.  Her manner of speaking, however, is very effective — very manic and halting. Kudos to whoever came up with it.

She tells Williams that Mr. T is very busy, and it is Mr. A at the next farmhouse that they should see although she pities the fool who bothers him.  She then gives them a metallic card for A and slams the door on them.  Mr. A is not thrilled to see them.  He pulls out a gun and says he is going to kill Mr. T.  In the mean time, he tells Williams that the man he really needs to see is Mr. I.

rbtearthmen15Mr. I is a little calmer than his neighbors (or neighbor, if Mr. A has already killed Mr. T).  He at least invites them into his house.  Mr. I uses telepathy to learn about Williams and Earth.  He gives Williams a paper to sign.  Williams asks if his men should sign, and Mr. I gets a laugh.  He gives them a smile, a handshake, and a room for the night.  And a chance to meet Mr. X in the morning.

When they open the room, it is already filled with people although there are apparently only 26 families on the planet.  Mr. U welcomes them, and the crowd hoists the men on their shoulders in celebration.  After introductions, Mr. U claims to be from Earth.  From the crazy reaction of the crowd, it is clear that they have been put into a “lunatic asylum.”

One of the inmates tells Williams he can open the door with his mind.  Sure enough, he can, but Mr. X is waiting for him.  He has judged Williams to be insane and that his three crewman are illusions, projections that Williams has manifested.

They take Mr. X to the ship to prove that they are all real and that the ship is real.  Mr. X is very complimentary of the illusion and proclaims Williams a “psychotic genius.”  He then shoots Williams and his crew with a very cheesy laser.  He is baffled that the crew and the ship did not disappear as Williams died.

rbtearthmen33Then Mr. X kills himself with a laser blast to the head.

As the men lay dead, the ship’s radio says, “What’s going on there?  Come on guys, stop horsing around.”

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  •  First published in Thrilling Wonder Stories, August 1948.
  • Mrs. T really stole the show as the first alien we see. The others just aren’t in her league.

Alfred Hitchcock Presents – The Diplomatic Corpse (S3E10)

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ahpdiplomaticcorpse02Evan and Janet Wallace are showing Janet’s old battle axe aunt around California and she hates it.  She hates the desert, hates the rocks, hates everything.  When Evan points out a 200 year old Spanish mission, she has to trump him by saying, “Westminster Abby was consecrated in 1050 — that’s over 900 years old.”  Although she and her niece are supposed to be English,I don’t detect much of an accent.

She does, however, appreciate the mission in contrast to her feelings about the dreadful modern buildings that Evan designs — which she is not shy in sharing.

She insists on going to Tijuana despite not having the papers to get back into the US –this is back when there used to be a border.  Luckily, they get a pretty lax officer who peeks in the car, sees a nice couple and an old lady snoozing in the back seat, and waves them through.

After they cross the border, they try to wake up Janet’s aunt but discover she is dead. Of natural causes?  On Alfred Hitchcock Presents?  WTH?  They pull up to a cantina and throw a coat over Auntie while they have a drink and plan what to do.  If nothing else, a dead body in a hot car in Mexico might draw some flies away from the cantina.

No slur there — there is a huge roll of flypaper hanging in the restaurant, so they must have a problem.  That’s gonna cost them a Michelin star.  When they come out, they see the car has been stolen.  Not wanting to involve the police, they go to private detective Peter Lorre.

ahpdiplomaticcorpse10Back at the hotel, they get a visit from the Policía.  They have found a car like the Wallace’s. They go downstairs and confirm that it is their car, but it is missing its third wheel — Auntie has disappeared.  It wouldn’t be such a big deal, but they stand to get a large inheritance and need Auntie’s body to prove she is dead.

They go back to Lorre to see if he can locate the old bag.  He consistently nickel-and-dimes them like Mr. Haney on Green Acres.  He finally comes up with the body.  They follow the hearse to a funeral home in the states.

ahpdiplomaticcorpse13The funeral director calls them in to view the corpse — Lorre has sent them home with a man, man.

Strange episode.  The heart of the story is really Lorre’s huckster private detective rather than the . . . well, there really is no crime.  The dead body is just a macguffin — no murder, no cover-up, no irony, no self-incrimination.

With the story and the cast, more could have been done with the episode.  The opening of the casket feels more like the cliff-hanger of a two-parter than a satisfying conclusion.  Part two would be where Evan drives back to Mexico and beats Lorre like a piñata.

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  • AHP Deathwatch:  No survivors.
  • Sadly, no way I could I could reference Michael leaving Egg in Mexico.