Category Archives: TV

Thriller – The Prisoner in the Mirror (05/23/61)

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tprisonerinthemirror02Paris 1910 — I ‘m bored already.

A man is entertaining a woman by doing a few magic tricks for her at dinner. Despite not being six, she is charmed by his shenanigans.  He produces a bird from under a napkin — God knows where he had the poor thing jammed during the amuse-bouche and escargot.  Then he releases the filthy creature in the restaurant to shit in everyone’s consomme — to her delight.

Ultimately, she is hypnotized by his reveal of a huge diamond necklace.  But the scene tprisonerinthemirror03turns to horror as she screams, imagining him turn into a skeleton and his bony fingers putting the necklace on her.  He apparently strangles her as the gendarmes come after him as he is painting over an evil mirror. Rather than face trial and be judged mad, he throws himself out the window, uncannily splatting in the spotlight of a curiously focused streetlamp.

“Half a century later,” Boris tells us.

Professor Robert Langdon, er Harry Langham is interested in an old mirror he has read about and has his assistant, Fred Forrest, scouring the antique shoppes and museums looking for it.  Langham himself finally finds the mirror in a Paris antique shoppe, still tprisonerinthemirror04painted over.  As he scrapes away a bit of the paint, he sees the image of a woman killed by the original owner of the mirror.

He has it shipped home to America, or specifically to the home shared by Langham and Forrest.  Forrest wants his sister Kay to marry Langham and settle him down.  They move the mirror up to the bedroom where Langham gets out the paint scraper and cleans the entire mirror.  He sits staring at the mirror for hours, but sees only himself.  Finally in the dark, he sees the woman lighting candles.  She is able to hear him, but can’t speak herself.

When he tries to show his girlfriend Kay, she sees only her own reflection.  And as she is played by a very hot 33 year old Marion Ross (Mrs. C on Happy Days), that should be tprisonerinthemirror07enough.

But Langham throws her out, and is then met by a man in the mirror who explains that the original owner, evil Count Cagliostro has trapped them in that other dimension, but that they are alive.

The man recites an incantation that is supposed to free them from the mirror, but instead hypnotizes Langham into joining them in the mirror dimension. This enables the man to take inhabit Langham’s body outside the mirror.  The woman can now speak and tells him the man was actually the evil Cagliostro.

Cagliostro goes out for a night on the town for the first time in 50 years, foolishly passing up the very hot Mrs. C who was just complaining of Langham not paying enough attention to her.  Luckily for the future Mr. C, Cagliostro picks up a floozy down by the docks and kills her, drawing the police to his house.

tprisonerinthemirror08The next morning, he sets his eyes on Kay.  She is Langham’s girlfriend, and is there first thing in morning, but he wakes up alone in a twin bed?

That night, Kay deduces that he killed the floozy.  Fred busts him for killing Kay.  The mirror is busted in a struggle.

A nice little story, but with major strings left dangling — like the fate of 3 major characters.  Is Langham dead, or trapped forever in the other dimension?  How about the girl in there with him? Most importantly, is Kay actually dead or hypnotized perhaps banished to a mirror downstairs?

Post-Post:

  • The representation of the people in the mirror is sometimes fairly amusing as it is obvious they are just standing in a box.  In some scenes not even a sheet of glass has been installed to look like a mirror.
  • Supposedly Marion Ross is given the ironic toast “Happy Days” but I missed it and ain’t going back.
  • One year later, Lloyd Bochner would be hauled aboard a Kanamit spaceship just because no one could decipher that To Serve Man was a cookbook despite the pages and pages of full-color tasty dishes.

Ray Bradbury Theater – Sun and Shadow (10/03/92)

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a/k/a Sun and Shaddow, as the DVD menu spells it.

We open on a Mexican coastal town.  In a casa over-looking the village square, a woman says, “Breakfast, husband.  And son of the father who is my husband.” Is that the way Mexican women talk?  I had to play it three times to make sense of it.

Ricardo, the father of the son whose mother is his wife is looking from the balcony at the beautiful day.  Suddenly several vans and a Porsche roll into the square and a Hollywood film crew leaps from the vehicles, scattering to their positions.  There is the bumbling rbtsunandshadow03crew, the hot model, and the arrogant director.  So I guess, some stereotypes are alright.

Ricardo is happy with none of this as they have chosen his stairway for the location, and lured his son Tomas to the street to watch the excitement.  The director realizes what is happening and offers Ricardo a few Pesos to use his home.  Ricardo still insists that he move on.  The director, not used to a principled man says, “What?  Move my crew?  All this equipment?  Now?”  Mind you, this entire set-up occurred in the time it took Ricardo to walk down a flight of stairs.

So they move one street over as Ricardo continues to tell off the director for thinking of his people as cardboard cutouts, and his house as a prop.  Once they start filming, Tomas is in the way, so they give him a serape, a sombrero and tell him not to smile as the camera pans across him.  Ricardo shows up again, angry that his son his being used as a prop and orders him home.  Tomas takes off, but with the American dollars still in his pocket, and still wearing the serape and hat, I notice.

The crew starts filming again, this time at the home of Ricardo’s neighbor Jorge who seems to have no problem with it.  Like a classic American do-gooder, Ricardo feels he must explain to Jorge that he is too stupid to understand what is going on.

rbtsunandshadow06The producer of the commercial arrives.  Ricardo puts on a little show for everyone asking what he can do to look more Mexican for their clown show (which he isn’t in, anyway) — sweat a little more?  Grow his hair a little longer?  Tear a hole in his shirt?  He is indignant that his people are being exploited and is adamant in being a role-model for the dignity of his people in the face of these interlopers.

So he walks into the shot and drops his pants.

The production moves to the beach to get away from this nut, but he has already proclaimed the sky as his, so this seems unlikely to work.  The producer decides to “try harder” to buy him off.  Reflecting the low budget of the series, his open wallet briefly exposes a fan of singles.

A policeman finally arrives, and the director illustrates the problem.  As he starts shooting, Ricardo walks into the shot followed by a crowd of his neighbors, stands between the girls (a second has mysteriously become part of the commercial), and drops his pants again.

Again with the speeches, he says that as long as there is one man like him in ten thousand in every city, things will be good.  Without him, chaos.  Even Tomas gives back the money he was paid.  Once again, a single is prominent on top of the fold. They couldn’t have spared a Benjamin?   Just for the outer note?

rbtsunandshadow09There could have been something here, but it was all so simplistic.  The director did not ask permission to use the location — that was wrong.  Ricardo would not take money to allow the location to be use — entirely his decision.  But then he sabotages the production at his neighbor’s house, and on the beach.  What was his point?  They were just looking for a location, no one was being mocked.  Even dressing up Tomas was just throwing the kid a bone.

Ricardo is clearly an intelligent man, but he is reacting like an ancient tribesman who thinks a photograph is going to steal his soul.  Fine, he drove the production out of town instead of them working locally, spreading around a few dollars, bringing a little excitement to the village, probably throwing a kick-ass party that night, and everyone sharing a little weed.  Nice work.  Hey, Mexico, you have those fascistic, know-it-all, do-gooders, too?

rbtsunandshadow08Other than the misguided actions of Ricardo, there were some good points to the episode.  The director was suitably arrogant, British and pony-tailed.  The locations, ironically, were interesting.  And Gregory Sierra, despite his character’s baffling philosophy, was excellent.  He has nothing on IMDb this century — I hope it’s because he just retired on a pile of money, because he was always a great actor.

Post-Post:

Meh.

Alfred Hitchcock Presents – Flight to the East (03/23/58)

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ahpflighttotheeast002Fictional carrier Trans-World Airlines is taking on passengers in Nairobi in 1958; just as the made-up company Pan-Am ruled the skies in 2001.

Beautiful (although maybe not by not by Nairobi standards) Barbara boards and squeezes into the window seat beside two business-men.  Being 1958, her seatmate Ted bums a cigarette and they both start smoking like TWA Flight 800. [1]  You can tell this is a product of the 1950s — the flight out of Nairobi seems to have no black passengers.

Barbara recognizes Ted as a journalist (a relic just as extinct as TWA, TWA-800, and Pan-AM) and says she has read his pieces on the North African Campaign and later his dispatches on the Mau-Mau uprising in Kenya.  They discuss “Sasha the Terrible” who Ted believes was railroaded for war crimes.

Witness after witness — wait there was a trial in an African uprising? — told of loading crates or driving trucks under Sasha’s guidance.  They told of night trips into the countryside.  The crates delivered under cover of darkness and Sasha getting small packages of payments.

ahpflighttotheeast003Ted tells how an old man in the gallery caught his eye — an old man who showed up every day.  It was Sasha’s father, and he asked that Ted interview his son to prove his innocence.  Ted is convinced that Sasha is innocent, and that he was merely a patsy used by the real ringleader, Arthur Smith.  When it is clear Sasha is going to be found guilty and executed, Ted’s editor has him fired and deported.  Sasha is executed.  Ted reveals to Barbara that he is hand-cuffed to his traveling companion, being escorted out of the country.

Ted tells a story of searching the world for the mysterious Arthur Smith, he just happens to stumble into an obscure shop, on an obscure dirt street, owned by Sasha’s father. The old man accuses Ted of taking a bribe to abandon Sasha.  He throws a Nazi knife at Ted, but is juuuuust a bit outside.  As the old man is pulling out a Nazi pistol, Ted is able to stab him with the knife.

ahpflighttotheeast004Barbara admits knowing more than she let on — her father was the prosecuting attorney.  Her father believed Ted had a plan to advocate for Sasha’s innocence, through his writing, in exchange for half the diamonds Sasha had been stealing.  They invented the character of Arthur Smith to be the kingpin.

The prosecutor believed that Ted’s worldwide search was not for the non-existent Arthur Smith, but for Sasha’s father, who knew where the diamonds were.  He conjectured that Ted  went to the old man to demand half of them.  Ted pulled out his Nazi pistol.  When the old man knocks it from his hand, Ted throws his Nazi knife at him, killing him.

Blah blah blah, Barbara knew a soldier who said on his deathbed that he sold the Nazi pistol and Knife to a journalist that smoked.  Yeah, that’ll hold up in court.

ahpflighttotheeast005A tedious story tediously told, and not just by me.  Poor Barbara does the best she can with a role that requires absolutely nothing of her but to sit in an airplane seat and talk to the person next to her — a role I can’t even play in real life.

I just didn’t like Gary Merrill.  I didn’t like him when he was the crusading journalist and I didn’t like him when he was the conspiring extortionist and killer (although I suppose that second part is pretty reasonable).

Post-Post:

  • [1] This was originally a reference to United 93.  Rereading it 18 months later, that seemed disgusting.  Reading this 18 seconds later, I’m not sure why TWA 800 is any more acceptable.
  • AHP Deathwatch:  No survivors.

Night Gallery – Death on a Barge (03/04/73)

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ngdeathonabarge01Local boy Ron sneaks down to the docks as he frequently does. He is checking out a beautiful girl named Hyacinth lounging in the moonlight on a boat — OK, let’s call it a barge — that consistently floats about 10 feet from the pier, with no way to board her (or the barge, heyoooo!).

She says it will be dawn soon, and she says she will have to go.  He asks to come over to the barge, but she says, “never”.

The next morning as he is working at the fish market (which could be one reason for not inviting him over), his perfectly lovely girlfriend Phyllis drops by and he says he can’t make it for their date that night.  The fish market owner confides in her that Ron has been going to bed at seven, waking up at midnight, and coming to work at dawn.

ngdeathonabarge02That night, once again, Rob begs to come aboard the barge or for Hyacinth to come ashore; but she refuses.

He suggests he could come over in the daytime, but she refuses.

He suggests that he could come aboard and meet her father, make it a proper courtship, but she refuses — she sleeps in the day and her father sleeps at night.

This guy can’t take a hint.

At dawn, she goes in the boat’s cabin and her father — sporting a genuine peg-leg comes out on the deck.  There is no mention on the actor’s IMDb page, but that peg leg sure looked real to me.  From behind some crates, Phyllis watches as he lays a plank to bridge the gulf between the barge and the pier.

After the old man goes ashore, Phyllis sneaks aboard and sees Hyacinth about to go to sleep — in her coffin.  Hyacinth puts the vampire moves on her which would have been pretty sweet, but Phyllis barely escapes when Hyacinth can’t follow her outside into the sunlight.

ngdeathonabarge04The next night Ron goes to see her and asks why she hasn’t mastered plank technology like her father.  She says the real problem she can’t cross over flowing water, although stagnant water seems to be a problem too.  However, the lagoon is being drained to flood a new marina, so pretty soon she’ll be doing a Pettit across that plank, she promises.

When the lagoon dries up, Hyacinth is able to come ashore and they meet.  Ron insists he loves her despite her obviously being a vampire.  Hyacinth insists she loves him so much she can’t let him go.  Seconds after he leaves, his boss puts the moves on Hyacinth.  Not so much in love with the boss, she has no hesitation in ripping his throat out (sadly off camera).  Ron rushes home and Phyllis has a nice candle light dinner set up for them.

This is a woman who knows her boyfriend is not having a physical relationship with another woman (not positive on that), but is at least sure that he is head over heels in love with her and he would toss Phyllis into the dry lagoon the first second he could get to Hyacinth.  Yet, she is still faithfully committed to their relationship and doesn’t even give him any shit about it.  So ya gotta love her.  If you’re a man.

ngdeathonabarge05Ron gets a call to identify the body of his boss (who would have made a much better lead actor, BTW) and goes back to the boat — which is what?  Just sitting in the dry lagoon now?  The old man didn’t think it might not be a wise investment to move his boat to higher — er, water.

Hyacinth admits killing Ron’s boss, but assures Ron he will return as the undead. And, really, in a fish market, who’s going to pick up the scent?  Still, Ron wants to kill her.  She helpfully points out where her father keeps the oak stake.  She asks Ron to cry out that he loves her as he plunges it into her. Wait, am I still on the right DVD?

Ron just can’t do it, and falls into her arms.  Hyacinth is just about to go all vampire on his neck when her father enters, picks up the stake and drives it through her heart.

Of course, had he done that years earlier, untold numbers of people would still be alive, and I could have gone to bed at a decent hour.

ngdeathonabarge06Ron is a pretty sappy leading man, but Leslie-Anne Warren was so sensual and looked so other-worldly in her simple billowing clothes that she made up for it.  Phyllis’s performance was fine, but her character is just a doormat — she knew Ron was seeing this other woman and didn’t seem to make much of a fuss about it.

The biggest problem is the cinematography.  I assume that is what accounts for the hazy scenes of Ron and Hyacinth at night, and that it was not a terrible artistic choice.  Other sources say there was a lot of filming day-for-night for budgetary reasons, so maybe this is a side effect (another union triumph — it would be filmed crisply in Vancouver today.  Nice work, guys).  Several other scenes are colorful and sharp, so I can’t blame the crummy transfer in this case.

Overall, I liked the concept, but it was sunk like the barge by the awful look of the night scenes and a lackluster leading man.

Post-Post:

  • Twilight Zone Legacy:  Jim Boles was in The Arrival and Jess-Belle.
  • If she can’t cross flowing water, why does her father go through the routine with the plank?
  • Leonard Nimoy’s directorial debut.
  • Leslie-Anne Down vs Leslie Anne Warren.  Always confused me as a kid.

Tales From the Crypt – Werewolf Concerto (09/09/92)

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tftcwerewolfconcerto01Rarely like werewolf joints.  Rarely like Concertos.  This does not bode well.

A weight challenged man is running through the forest.  Periodically, the camera cuts to another POV.  It is distorted and has a bluish tint, but I assume it is the POV of his pursuer, the titular werewolf.  Although since chubby isn’t visible in the shots, it is not 100% clear.  That is just poor directing.

Finally, tubby is caught and in what seems to be a POV shot without the established blue tint, a hairy clawed hand slashes his throat — slashes it so deeply that in the next shot, the werewolf is holding his head up like a trophy.  Merely a “Participation Trophy [1]” on big boy’s part.

Alas, poor fat guy. I slew him well.

A nearly all-star cast (or, at least people you’ve heard of) are guests at a hotel.  This is clearly modeled after an Agatha Christie joint — kind of a Murder at the Holiday Inn Express.

The guests opt for early-checkout when they hear of the decapitation. The Manager — played swishingly gay by Dennis Farina — tells them that is not possible due to a conveniently timed mudslide.

Charles Fleischer further unnerves the group by insisting that it is a werewolf; and by being Charles Fleischer.  Actually, checking IMDb, he had a much more impressive career that I remembered.  I was going to say that when you are best known for being the voice of a cartoon rabbit, your name better be Mel Blanc; I regret my snark (but not enough to actually backspace over it).

Farina says that there is an experienced werewolf hunter in their midst, but who has promised to kill the beast, but only in exchange for anonymity.  So why doesn’t he just go ahead and do it?

tftcwerewolfconcerto03Lokai (Timothy Dalton), remaining coolly detached, seems to know more than the others, but is keeping it to himself.  Beverly D’Angelo invites Dalton up to her room after some strange seductive talk about back hair and submarines.

D’angelo is not there when he drops by, but as in every post on this blog, he lets himself right into a stranger’s abode.  From D’Angelo’s window, Dalton sees Fleischer head out into the woods followed at a distance by Gotell.  He begins following them.

Before Dalton finds Fleischer, Walter Gotell shoves a gun in his face.  Pretty sloppy work by 007 since Gotell was in six James Bond movies including one of Dalton’s.  The old instincts kick in, however.  Dalton kicks the gun out of Gotell’s hands and shoots him in the head.  Gotell is carrying Fleischer’s bagful of cash which Dalton takes.  Turns out Gotell was a former Nazi, not a werewolf.  Didn’t Dalton watch any of the Bond movies? Although I think he played a Russian in those movies.  But a commie’s a commie whether Russkies, Nazis, Chinese, or MSNBCs.

tftcwerewolfconcerto05Bellboy Pieter (Jason Rainwater –where they finally ran out of money for the cast) tells Dalton that D’Angelo usually crawls into bed around noon — they think she has a drinking problem.  He goes to her room that night, gun drawn.

Suddenly, however, Dalton begins turning into the titular werewolf (with the name Lokai, this shouldn’t have been a complete surprise).  Although really, he looks more like he belongs in a GEICO commercial than like a werewolf.  Or possibly a late-stage Michael Jackson.

After killing a chambermaid by bashing her head against a piano that oddly makes no sound, werewolf Dalton opens the piano lid and discovers it is actually a coffin.  It is refreshingy old-school, filled with dirt instead of satin.  Then he is run through several times with a silver candelabra by D’Angelo who is revealed to be a vampire. One who apparently checks into hotels with her own grand piano.

There must have been a lot of problems with the production on this one.  It is fairly short — about 20 minutes without that idiot Cryptkeeper — yet there is so much left unsaid, undone, unexplained.  Reginald VelJohnson gets to say a few lines in a strangely British or The Hamptons accent, but contributes nothing and doesn’t even get a name.  How did this group happen to come together?  Why does Fleischer have all that cash?  This feels like it could have been fleshed out into something much more interesting, but was just cut to pieces.

Nothing really bad about it, just huge missed potential.

Post-Post:

  • [1] It’s always a hoot when the sequestered interbred elite NPRNYTPBSMSNBCCNN crowd are surprised, SHOCKED at what most of America thinks.  It’s the great unwashed versus the great unwatched.
  • Title Analysis:  Saw the werewolf. Didn’t see the concerto or even hear it in the score.