Mistress of Snarling Death – Paul Chadwick

25 stories for $.99; they must be good.  Part II of XXV.

For the 2nd story in a row, a car is stuck in the mud.  I’ll say this for Global Warming, cars don’t get mired down in a drought.  Well, unless there used to be a lake there.  The unfortunate motorist this time is Stephen Demerest.

He has wandered lost among fields and deserted farms seeking help.  Finally he sees a young girl in a cloak.  He asks her the way to the Halliday house.  When she doesn’t respond, he approaches her, prompting six large black dogs to defend her by forming a circle.  Silently, she begins walking away and Demerest follows her; so the dogs are cool with stalking.

He finds himself at the door of the Halliday house and recalls the letter that Halliday sent to him.  It says their fathers were friends, and Halliday has no one else to turn to for help.  Demerest is to come to his house in the guise of a radio repairman, and be prepared to act when Halliday gives the signal.  For this task, Demerest has received $500.

All he recalls about Halliday is that he married well, but his wife took off, leaving him to raise their infant daughter.  The door is opened by a butler with hideous facial deformities —  a twisted mouth, one empty eye socket, broken teeth.

He is handed off to another equally grotesque servant, a squat gnome-like dwarf who takes him to Halliday’s bedroom.  There he formally meets Halliday and the couple attending to him, Eric and Nana.

Demerest soon learns that the couple is blackmailing Halliday.  They are dealt with through much shooting, running, fighting, flaying by dogs, tearing of night-clothes, and exposing of alabaster shoulders.

Halliday is afraid that in trying to shelter his beautiful daughter from attractive men who might lure her away, he has made her vulnerable to con-men like Nick.  Or Nana, if you get my drift.

He promises Demerest a princely sum if he will take care of his beautiful, virginal young daughter with the smoking body, and see that she meets some good man for love and marriage.  I think this will have the same outcome as putting Dick Cheney in charge of the 2000 VP search committee.

Another fun one.  Lots of grotesque figures, as they were called then — now, challenged or otherly-abled.  Plenty of action, and the occasional flashes of skin.  Sadly, no one was stripped naked and hung from a rafter like in Blood for the Vampire Dead.  But I guess that can’t be part of every story or it would get boring after 20 or so.

 Post-Post:

  • Published in Ace Mystery, July 1936
  • Also that month:  Lucky Luciano sentenced to 30-50 in the big house.

Blood for the Vampire Dead – Robert Leslie Bellem

pulpfiction0125 stories for $.99; they must be good.

Despite the cover, there are no Apes, Sexfiends, Gangsters, Mad Scientists, or Tentacles in this story; not even a blimp or anything particularly politically incorrect.  Still, how can I complain about not getting my $.04 cents worth?

Tim Croft is a doctor whom the state has stationed in a rural Ozarks community.  I am not clear why the state is choosing where he should practice unless possibly he majored in rickets.

Late one night, Jeb Starko — from up at Haunted Holl’r — bangs on his door.  Starko claims the Ludwill clan is going to kill his wife Eula because they think she is a witch-vampire.  Eula is currently under the doctor’s care and Dr. Croft knows this is not true for 2 reasons.

Nurse Brenda comes out to see what the commotion is.  Someday she and Croft will marry, but for now she is rooming with the other nurse Edith.  Now we’re talkin’!

The Ludwills show up carrying “the inert form of a young girl, stripped stark naked and horribly pallid in the lantern glow.”  Croft is immediately taken aback as he did not get them anything.  Turns out that is Ludwill’s daughter, and he is accusing Eula of being a vampire, stringing his daughter up in the woods and drinking her blood.  Sure enough, she does have what appear to be fang marks on her neck.  Although, I prefer to think they were from necking with with Brenda and Edith.

pulpmegablood01

Not to nitpick, but she really is supposed to be naked based on the story.

Croft tells him that Eula is innocent.  And dead.  Unfortunately, this news news to her husband.  Ludwill can’t quite believe it either and asks to see her body.  They go to the hospital but can’t see her body because it is gone.  However, everyone does get a good look at Edith’s body as she has been stripped and hung upside down naked from a rafter.  She too has been drained of blood and has wounds on her neck.

That night Croft and Brenda try to flee the town, but get stuck in the mud.  Croft is knocked out and Brenda is gone when he awakens.  He goes to the Starko house and sees Eula sitting at a table before bowls of blood.  He then hears Brenda screaming in a nearby cave.  He finds the Ludwills have strung Brenda up as revenge.  During a fight, Starko enters the cave and attempts to puncture Brenda’s neck.

Croft grabs him and says, “You’re through killing girls for their blood!”  The doctor describes Starko’s motives and actions with Holmesian precision.  As justice was served, the doctor tells the Ludwills “I will not hold it against you for knocking me out and kidnapping my sweetheart.”  Yeah, and stripping her naked, hoisting her from a rafter, and using her as bait for a killer.  Bygones.  Do come over Wednesday night for Uno.

Post-Post:

  • Appeared in Mystery Tales, March 1940.
  • Also that month, Hitler and Mussolini meet in Brenner Pass to confirm their bromance.
  • Archaic words:  Eldritch — weird and sinister or ghostly.
  • Bellem is apparently best know for his creation of detective Dan Turner.  Good article here that makes me want to read more by him.
  • He also turned out dozens of scripts for some of the most popular TV shows in the 1950’s.

Ray Bradbury Theater – The Pedestrian (S3E5)

bradbury02In complete contrast to The Wind, this short story is really just a sketch, a thumbnail, and not even the thumbnail.  It is the RBT episode that fleshes out the character and concept.  I’m not sure who to credit for the improvement.  This is the only directing credit for Alun Bollinger, so probably not much attributable to him.  Certainly Bradbury expanded the story for his screenplay.  I think, though, it is David Ogden Stiers who really sells it.  I normally don’t care for him without the Boston accent (like in that really mediocre Star Trek TNG episode), but he is great here.

bbtpedestrian01He has walked to the house of his friend Stockwell.  This is risky and unusual because in the year 2053, street-walking is against the law — I mean literally walking down the streets, not the kind of street-walking that is still prosecuted by fascists in 2014 .

He is dressed all in black and has brought similar clothing to Stockwell.  Stiers reels off Bradbury’s flowery dialogue, and it is the rare occasion that it actually works.  They are giddy as they set out.  Stockwell has never seen dew on the grass, or the over-grown sidewalks.  This despite the fact that the houses do have windows.  Bradbury even gets a laugh out of Stockwell taking a header over a root.

bbtpedestrian03They are soon spotted by a drone Helicopter.  The rest of the episode is basically an interrogation by the drone.  This tracks with the short story except that it is a drone Police Car.

Stiers is grilled on why he is outside.  The drone can’t understand the concept of going for a walk, seeing the sites, or getting some fresh air.  The drone orders Stiers to get in, finally showing that it is not a small drone but was supposed to be a full size helicopter.

The helicopter lifts off and shines a spotlight on Stockwell telling him to  disperse, which unless he is dismembered, I’m not sure is strictly possible.  I think he probably takes the long way home.

bbtpedestrian02Post-Post:

  • I really did think it was a mini-copter drone.  Just turned out to be a sketchy special effect.
  • Hmmm, didn’t realize Michelle Forbes was in that ST:TNG episode in a pre-Ro role.  The presence of Lwaxana Troi is enough to stop me from revisiting it, though.
  • NZ-LOTR Connection: Director was 2nd Unit DP on all 3 movies.
  • Next week: A Sound of Thunder.  If they manage to screw that up . . .

Ray Bradbury Theater – The Wind (S3E4)

bradbury02The wind is a perfect subject for this series.  Many of the episodes just have some movement, some rustling around, but there is nothing solid at the heart of them.

For some reason Michael Sarrazin just makes me think of the 70’s.  Not sure if it is his face, or just because that was really his heyday (1969-1975), and he never really seemed to live up to his promising start.

Here he is playing a weather nerd, which in the days before the internet or even the Weather Channel must have been a pretty frustrating hobby.  He is flipping through a book of maps with page headings like Cloudiness, Visibility, Gale Persistence when suddenly a persistent mini-gale blows through his living room and flips the pages.

Image 001He recognizes the wind as a presence immediately and greets it.  I’m trying to outline the episode, but it gives me nothing.  What can I say?  He calls his friend Herb, but Herb is busy.  He opens his front door.  He lights a cigarette which the wind blows out the first try. The wind blows his door shut.  He looks for batteries for his flashlight.

He says to himself, “My God, it’s like a great big shuffling hound, it’s trying to smell me out.”  He begins making a tape for Herb.  He describes climbing a mountain in Tibet to see what he should never have seen — hundreds of winds.  OK, so the wind has come after him.  I can totally buy into that — we’ve seen all kinds of voodoo follow people back to “civilization” for revenge.  Crikey, TZ even put a lion in a dude’s Park Avenue bedroom.  I can imagine this story being the basis for a great episode, but this ain’t it.

Image 002

“Note to self: I’ll do one more episode in 3 years, but that’s it!”

In the limited “killer wind” genre, this makes The Happening look like Citizen Hurrikane.

I give it an F1 on the Fujita Scale (F5, of course, being Finger of God).  And that’s being generous, because the Fujita Scale actually starts at F0.

The short story is actually pretty good and if I had read it before seeing the episode, I would have looked forward to an adaptation — on Outer Limits or TZ, maybe.

Strangely, the short story centers on his friend Herb.  Sarrazin’s character Allin (renamed the manlier John Colt for TV) literally phones it in, never physically appearing in the scenes.   I’m not sure what is the benefit of this choice, but it worked for me.

Naturally, the short story form has the advantage of being able to deliver more pure exposition.  We are given a lot more information about the wind, how it has absorbed the souls of those killed in hurricanes, cyclones and typhoons; how it has pursued Allin across the globe.

Another wasted opportunity.

Post-Post:

  • Sarrazin’s character mentions that they are in New Zealand, so my hunch about The Lake was correct.  This episode was all shot indoors, so the NZ location was not exploited at all.
  • Like everything filmed in New Zealand in the last 50 years, The Wind has an actor that appeared in one of the Lord of The Ring movies.  OK, The Lake didn’t; well, that theory didn’t last long.

Ray Bradbury Theater – The Dwarf (S3E1)

bradbury02I was really torn whether to invest the time in a 3rd season of RBT.  At least they seem to be filming in the USA again, and they are doing A Sound of Thunder this season — so, one more chance.  Although I’ll miss bitching about Europe.

Ralph the bald carny man at the Mirror Maze drags his co-worker Aimee to his place to see Mr. Big.  She is clearly out of his league in looks and also because she has the more manly concession — the pellet guns.  He tells her to hide, for reasons I can’t figure, because Mr. Big is coming.  Turns out that Mr. Big is a midget.  His name is actually revealed later to be Bigalow, but I don’t think Mirror-boy know that.

rbtdwarf02As he does every night, he has come to the Mirror Maze and bought a ticket.  Ralph tells Aimee she ain’t seen nothing yet.  He leads her to spy on Mr. Big checking himself out in the mirror, admiring his tall thin reflection.  Ralph thinks this is quite a hoot.  Maybe if there was a mirror that showed him with hair, he would understand his cruelty.

Mr. Big hears them hiding behind a wall and bolts.  Aimee worries that they have humiliated him and that he might never come back.  But the next night he is there again.  Aimee follows him to a newsstand and discovers he’s a writer of . . . er, short stories.  No, really.  He sees her following him and takes her home with him.  She sees that he lives in a tiny little scaled down house in a warehouse.

rbtdwarf04

Attack of the 5’3″ Woman.

She returns to the Mirror Maze and admires herself in the same stretchy mirror, which makes no sense.  It’s not like she is a dwarf or even fat.  The stretchy mirror just makes her look anorexic.  Aimee catches Ralph staring at her.

Ralph goes in to break the mirror, but has a better idea.  He replaces the stretchy mirror with one that scrunches the midget down even more.  Ralph gets a laugh out of the midget’s anguish.  Aimee smacks him up side his bald noggin.

From somewhere, the midget has gotten a gun and starts deliberately shooting Ralph’s reflections one by one.  When only the real Ralph is left, Aimee stops him, saying Ralph has been dead for years.

I really wanted to like it.  The girl was cute.  The midget being a writer reminded me of The Smoking Man’s literary aspirations.  And quite the snappy dresser.  His tiny house and her peeking in were intriguing.  It just didn’t come together.

As usual, the short story was better especially if you grade it on a 60 year old curve.  The Dwarf was a little more fleshed out on TV, and the ending was more clearly presented.  In the short story, Ralph and Aimee both see Ralph as a small dark monster in one of the mirrors.  There is a gunshot, but whether it is Ralph or the Dwarf being shot is left to the reader.

Post-Post:

  • Megan Follows was previously seen in The Outer Limits, and Miguel Fernandes was in Trancers.
  • Really misnamed episode as it features a midget not a dwarf.
  • I’m sure it was some 6 foot tall douche-bag who came up with “Little Person” as the PC word.  Midget was a perfectly respectable word.  Why replace it with a word that specifically points out the person is not a person, he is a little person?
  • Same thing with cripple which was eventually deemed offensive, replaced by handicapped which was also eventually deemed offensive.  Then disabled.  Now I guess it is the absurd handicapable or even worse, differently-abled.  Gee, it’s almost like it isn’t the words that bothers these do-gooders.