Author Archives: don

Outer Limits – Virtual Future (S1E7)

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olvirtual01Josh Brolin is working on a virtual reality program and discovers that he can project himself into the future.  All the great low-budget sci-fi tropes are here:  Incredible cutting edge science being developed by only 2 guys in a dark lab, world-changing discovery worth billions being treated as only moderately interesting, security for this goldmine laxer than Doc Brown’s garage, and a wife who doesn’t appreciate the magnitude of the work.

And for the most radical discovery in history — time travel — Brolin sells out pretty cheaply — for a job and his own lab.  Who knows, maybe he can even get a 3rd guy and a light bulb.  As in previous OL episodes, there must be a sinister corporate weasel to exploit Brolin’s discovery for eeeeeveeel, here played by David Warner.

It surely break’s Warner’s heart that the first time he takes the leap forward, he uses that knowledge to save a woman from being murdered at an ATM.  Well, there’ll be time for blackmail and murder later.

Soon enough, Warner announces that he is running for the Senate, thus commencing his life of crime.  Sadly, he does a time-jump, and sees that he will lose the election, and his victorious opponent will subpoena the records of his company.  The next morning, Brolin sees on TV that Warner’s opponent has died mysteriously.

There is a confrontation, and soon all is well again with the world.  Well, except for the dead guy.  Another just OK episode.  Brolin, however, shows the chops that will make him a star a few years later.  David Warner, as always, plays the role of David Warner, but totally pulls it off.  Sadly, the wife is a little bit of a non-entity, but does come through like a champ at the end.

Post-Post:

  • Sadly Brolin did not use his knowledge gained from time-travel to warn everyone, “Don’t remake Oldboy.”

olvirtual02

Grand Piano (2013)

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grandpiano00Holy crap will I be recommending this to people tomorrow!  And real people, not the imaginary ones that visit this blog.  You can nitpick this to death, and many already have, or you can just accept it as some great, fun entertainment.

Elijah Wood is Tom Selznick, a concert pianist whose career has been derailed by stage-fright since making a mistake in a complex piece five years ago.  Apparently these classical music dweebs hold grudges like a Muslim.

Finally his wife has has persuaded him to make a comeback.  As he is playing from the sheet music, he begins to see arrows and notes.  He has also been provided with an earpiece that enables him to speak to his tormenter.  A man with a laser-sighted rifle will kill his wife if he does not play every note in the same complex piece correctly tonight.

grandpiano01At this point, it is much like Phone Booth, but better.  Or Season 1 of 24, but worse. Great as Grand Piano is, nobody puts Jack Bauer in a corner.

Much has been written about Grand Piano as being being in the vein of Hitchcock and DePalma (although I’m not sure what represents DePalma except maybe a split screen shot).  It is hard to mistake the Hitchcockian elements — a man in over his head, a timeless theater set, paranoia, inventive camera angles, classical score.  I think either one of them would have been proud of how this shot plays out:

grandpiano02

Must see to appreciate.

The great cast features Allen Leech, Tom Branson from Downton Abbey (who was a little bit of a distraction as he really resembles Samwise Gamgee sitting in the audience).  Don McManus is as over-the-top as you would imagine a great conductor to be (or Don McManus to be, for that matter).  It is nice to see Alex Winter (who was either Bill or Ted and made the underrated Freaked) as a conspirator.  And, of course, Elijah Wood was great, continuing his recent streak.  His, er, not-classic looks are perfect for an emotionally scarred concert pianist.  John Cusack, heard but not seen for most of the movie, gives his usual competent performance.  The only weak point was his wife Emma, played by Kerry Bishe; but maybe only because her on-screen sister was so much hotter than her.

There is a lot of chatter online about the ridiculousness of the plot, and of the ending.  Most, however, do not deny that there is a great style to the movie and that it is successful in generating suspenseful.  So why would you quibble on minor points?

I rate it 84 out of 88 keys.

Post-Post:

  • Thanks to the filmmakers for giving us 12 minutes of end credits rather than padding out the story.  But really, would an 85 minute run time have been that terrible?
  • I’m shocked, shocked! that on Rotten Tomatoes, this has an 82 from critics, but only a 50 from normal humans.  I would have strong expected the exact opposite.
  • I patted myself on the back for getting an obscure Edie Sedgwick reference when Bishe was standing in front of a poster blocking out all but E_____ick.  In retrospect, I was full of crap.

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Ray BradburyTheater – Punishment Without Crime (S2E7)

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cover02Another bloody European episode.  At least we have a recognizable face in this one — Dr. Loomis himself, Donald Pleasence.  Despite airing 22 years after Fantastic Voyage, he has barely aged at all.  Which is a sad commentary on his 1966 self.

Pleasence is George Hill, a billionaire investment banker who is married to a woman 40 years his junior — I have no problem with that.  It is, admittedly, kind of creepy to see them together.

In an ineptly choreographed scene which involves the complex procedure of, er, opening a door, Hill sees his wife Katherine making out with a man who is also approximately 40 years his junior.

Update: I finally realized what happened.  Although the story is told 99.9% from Hill’s first-person POV, the director inexplicably switched to a third-person omniscient-POV for about 2 seconds.

So, naturally, Hill hatches a plan to a) have a robot duplicate of Katherine built (and she was built to start with, heyyyoooohhhh), and 2) kill said robot.  Having the cash, a better plan would have been to build 2 robot Katherines and not kill them.  But then, he’s a pretty old dude and this is PV (pre-Viagra).

rbpunish01The plan really makes no sense unless you look at it as a cathartic act where just going through the motions will give him some satisfaction — like Westworld.  But Katherine will still be alive.  And, by the way, will expect half his stuff to be handed over to her and her lover in the divorce.

Such is his anger that he can’t stand to wait the 2 weeks it takes Facsimiles, Inc to build the perfect mechanical duplicate of Katherine.  BTW, like all high-tech facilities in low-budget sci-fi, it has the standard completely inefficient floorplan, and is apparently staffed by one person who sits in the dark until needed.  Hill opts to be put into suspended animation until she is ready.

Naturally, once he meets Katherine 2.0 (now with fidelity!) he decides he wants to keep her.  Alas, that is not an option as she can’t be bought, only rented.  If she is an Apple product, there won’t even be a way to replace her battery.  Hill insists there must be a way he can keep her, but she has been well-programmed.  She speaks of cheating just as Katherine 1.0 did to taunt him into shooting her.  It works as he shots her and synthetic blood spills out onto the white floor.

Within seconds, a police detective arrives and arrests Hill for murder.  He is put on trial because a few hand-wringing do-gooders have decided that robots should have the same rights as humans.  He is found unanimously guilty in a televised trial that seems to be some sort of precursor to reality-TV, complete with soundtrack and stinger queues.

rbpunish03Katherine 1.0 comes to visit him in jail.  Even though the jailers know Katherine is alive, the sentence is carried out.

Post-Post:

  • Unlike my recap — a model of economic narrative — the episode opens with a framing scene, then a flashback, then a flashback within the flashback, ending with the same framing scene.  Sort of.
  • The opening and closing scenes cover the same material, just as in Pulp Fiction.  Also, just as in that film, the scenes are not exact duplicates.  I give Tarantino the benefit of the doubt that there was a point to his changes due to shifting perspectives, or even the nature of reality.  I think it was just incompetence here.
  • Nice cell he has, with access to the prison exterior security cameras.

The Signal (2014)

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signalcover01Anyone who watches way too many movies and sees this poster thinks, Moon.  If you liked Moon, that’s a good thing.  If you didn’t like Moon, at least you’re in for a surprise treat with The Signal.

It starts off feeling like a thousand other horror movies, with a small group of friends on a road trip.  Somehow it has a handheld feel even though it is not handheld, and doesn’t even use the shaky-cam. Maybe because it has an unattached odd-numbered wheel character, often the camera wielder in those films.

Jonah and the couple, Nic & Haley, are driving Haley to Cal Tech.  The vibe switches gears a little, but smoothly, to techno-thriller, showing the two guys trying to track down a hacker that had targeted them at MIT.  So, no dummies these — a major deviation from most horror movies.

Then, it is back to a horror vibe as their investigation leads them on a side-trip down a dirt road ending at a dilapidated house.  They bravely search the house, even going into the Blair Witchy, Evil Deady basement.  When they hear screams from Haley, they race back to the car.  Then we do have a bit of shaky-cam action with bright lights and chaos.

signallf01Nic wakes up in government facility staffed by employees wearing hazmat suits.  Laurence Fishburne tells Nic that what they saw at the house was an EBE.  He is otherwise tight with any info about where they are or the condition of his friends.  For his part, his legs which required crutches before, seem to not be functional at all.

Nic makes an unsuccessful escape attempt with Haley in tow — literally — he is rolling out in his wheelchair with a tow-line attached to her gurney.  The attempt is so quixotic, that it almost seems like it must have been a dream; especially as numerous workers come absurdly close without spotting them.

Nic makes a shocking discovery about his condition, and attempts another unlikely escape with Haley.  This time they manage to escape the facility and find themselves in the desert.  From here they encounter some very strange locals, and they story takes another turn into the superhero / fantasy realm.

signallf02Throughout its twists, I was consistently interested and entertained.  Several reviews have complained about pacing, but I had no issues at all.  One went so far as to give the screenplay a D grade.  There certainly is a huge question at the end, but it is the kind best left to the audience to resolve for themselves.

If I had to lodge one criticism, it would be that the Haley character is pretty much a zero. She is the reason they are travelling to California, but not for any otherwise plot-relevant purpose.  She is absent or in a coma for much of the film.  She does not assist in the escapes, being literally a drag in the first attempt. While Nic and Jonah experience certain changes during their captivity, Haley really does not.  There is evidence of surgical tinkering with her body, but no overt changes as we see in the other two.  She is Winston Zeddemore.  Except white.  And female.  And cute (sorry, Z).

Very good stuff.

Post-Post:

  • Haley is played by the very cute Olivia Cooke from Bates Motel — I did not recognize her without the tubes in her nose.
  • My occasional prosopagnosia also prevented me from recognizing Brenton Thwaites from the very good Oculus which I just saw on April 12th (yeah, I keep track).
  • Wikipedia says Sarah Clarke (Nina Myers from 24) was in this, but IMDb does not list her.  Her, I can’t believe I would have missed.  Based on the trailers, I get the sense there were a LOT of scenes cut.
  • Not to be confused with The Signal, a 2007 horror joint that I liked.  Or according to IMDb, Signal which will be released in 2015, or The Signal which will be released in 2016, or The Signal currently in development (c’mon 2017!).

Alfred Hitchcock Presents – The Creeper (S1E38)

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ahbabysitter03The episode gets off to a good start with Reta Shaw as Mrs. Stone.  Anyone who has watched too much 1970s TV will recognize her from usually playing a bulldog of a cleaning woman.

Mrs. Grant has been waiting for the locksmith to install a chain on her door.  Her idiot lout of a husband berates her for being afraid of a strangler — the titular Creeper — that has been terrorizing the neighborhood.

Shaw and the new janitor are discussing the Creeper and Shaw opines that the women were probably asking for it: “Decent women don’t get themselves murdered.”

ahpcreeperwomen06Mrs. Grant’s husband is a surly jerk and they appear to live in the Kramdens’ old apartment. He has just been passed over for a raise, and is currently working nights like the husbands of the murdered women. When she asks if he can switch to the day shift, he berates her.  There is never any insinuation that he is the strangler, although it seems they are about equal in their respect for women.

Mr. Grant stops off for a beer before work, maybe explaining why he didn’t get that raise, and talks to his friend Ed who had once dated Mrs. Grant.  Ed does come off as a possible suspect.  When Ed points out that the victims had both been blondes home alone, it finally occurs to Mr. Grant that maybe his wife is legitimately scared.

Ed drops by the Grant home, appearing suddenly, to Mrs. Grant’s shock.  He says he came to keep her company but won’t say how he got in.  Mrs. Grant does not believe his story that her husband asked him to keep her company.  For good reason — Mr. Grant does not strike me as a guy who would send a former boyfriend to keep an eye on his property, er, woman.

ahpcreeperwomen03Plus Ed is pretty creepy, and does try to force himself on Mrs. Grant until some neighbors complain about the noise.  She uses that opportunity to ask him to leave.  Seeing the man, Shaw wastes no time accusing Mrs. Grant of being a tart who will get what she deserves in the end, just like those other two victims.

Finally the locksmith arrives as Mr. Grant calls to apologize.  Unfortunately, he does not apologize for sending Ed to keep her company.  She tells him the locksmith has arrived and he tells her the police are saying the Creeper has been pretending to be a locksmith.

ahpcreeperellen05Hands come into frame to choke her.

So, for the ladies, another love song of J Alfred Hitchcock.

 

 

 

Post-Post:

  • AHP Deathwatch:  All dead.
  • Christ!  Reta Shaw was only 43 in this?
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To be fair, I’m sure he considers rape a close second