The Veil – Girl on the Road (1958)

An Edsel cruises by a sporty little number by the side of the road.  Her stalled car is also pretty sporty [1].  John Prescott takes a look under the hood.  Not seeing a big on/off switch, he is as baffled as I would be.  Unlike my typical situation, however, the first words out of Lila’s mouth are not “I have a boyfriend.” Thinking maybe she is just out of gas, he dips a stick in her gas hole. He finds it bone-dry so pushes her car literally an additional 2 inches off of the road, crumpling her license plate.[2]

They head over to the Roadside Inn for a couple of martinis.  When Lila sees the bartender making a call and hears the name Morgan Debs, she tells John they have to leave.  She makes him drop her off at a garage, but tells him to meet her at Lookout Point at 9:00.

That night, John parks at Overlook Point.  Soon, Lila emerges from the trees.  She tells John she has always loved this spot.  “It is here that I brought all my problems, here that I came to celebrate my small triumphs.[1]”  But one night something terrible happened, she says. Just then, wheelchair-bound Morgan Debs (Boris Karloff) rolls up.  He’s in a car, but veilgirlroad18he still rolls up; just not in the wheelchair.

John goes to Debs’ car.  Debs tells him the woman he was to meet here will not show up; that she agrees John should go on his way.  John tells the old man that Lila is here with him now.  When he looks back at the car, though, it is empty.  John dutifully goes to the police station. The sheriff is no help, so John goes to see the mechanic where Lila took her car.  He also knows nothing.  The trip isn’t in vain though as John gets clubbed senseless.

When he awakens the next morning, he takes the inn-side road back to the Roadside Inn.  He roughs up the bartender to get Lila’s address.  He goes to her home and is welcomed in by Lila’s mother.  She says Lila is in her room upstairs and goes to get her.

While waiting, John looks at a photo of Lila.  He is shocked when he sees Morgan Debs roll in to the living room; although less shocked than if he had been in the car again. Debs admits he ordered his chauffeur to beat him.  Then he reveals that Lila has been dead for three years.  She drove her car off Lookout Point killing her and leaving Debs in a wheelchair.  veilgirlroad08Debs produces some old newspaper clippings that describe Lila’s death.  Judging by the 5,000 point font, she is apparently the only person ever to die in this town.

Debs says this happened once before.  She appeared at the site of her death, then disappeared.  He says he had hoped this time would be the end of it.  Well how does he know this isn’t the end of it?  Lila’s mother was driven mad by her daughter’s death. That explains why she claimed Lila was upstairs.  Having the crazy-lady live in a 2-story house with her caretaker in a wheelchair seems to be just asking for trouble.  “I’ve fallen and you can’t get up.”

John describes the Triumph that Lila was driving.  Debs confirms that was her car, but says it has been lying at the base of Lookout Point for three years.  John goes to see for himself and finds the Triumph with the same crumpled license plate; though covered by cigarette butts, whiskey bottles and used condoms.

Pretty dull outing made entertaining by the lovely Eve Brent.  Sadly her scenery-chewing co-star Tod Andrews gets much more screen time.  She really is something special though, as is the TR3.  Otherwise, it is just another retelling of the old urban legend. Maybe not so old at the time, but that won’t help current viewers.

veilgirlroad57

There was also a dude in this episode

Post-Post:

  • [1] A 1955 Triumph TR3.
  • [2] Lila’s license plate is LK-333. For such a random set of characters, it shows up in a lot of places: Swatches, toilet brush wallmounts, hand lotion dispensers, art, real estate, and padlocks.
  • Written and directed by George WaGGner, screenwriter of The Wolf Man.
  • IMDb and YouTube.

Lust to Kill – Jose Vaca (1937)

sascoverCollins leaned against a ruined doorway and retched in the early Spanish dawn.

In the doorway across the street, a brown abused body of a young woman half lay, half sat.  Clothes had been ripped from her.  A bayonet still clung in the hideous wound between two cold breasts, the butt of the heavy rifle causing the body to sit half-erect.  Rigor mortis had set in long ago.  The nude corpse swayed grotesquely.

Well, this is a new kind of story for this collection.

Ken Collins, the one-eyed soldier-of-fortune is surveying the bombed out town square, but only in 2D.  When three men drive up, Collins goes a little nuts and immediately fires on them.  As two lay dead, he recognizes one of them as his commanding officer, General Gonzalez.  D’oh!

Two women haul the distraught American out of the street just before the man who escaped brings a group of soldiers to seek revenge.

Something just really turned me off on this one.  Maybe it was the knife between the cold breasts, maybe it was our hero murdering his commanding officer, maybe it was the war-time setting.  It just wasn’t the breezy romp with scantily-clad living babes that typifies this collection.

Meh.

Post-Post:

  • First published in March 1937.
  • Also that month:  HP Lovecraft dies.

Alfred Hitchcock Presents – The Morning After (01/11/59)

ahpmorningafter02I was immediately befuddled on this one.  Ben Nelson and Sharon Trotter pull up in front of her mother’s apartment.  Maybe this is one of those things like the riddles that reveal what a sexist pig you are.

Seeing Sharon on the driver’s side [1] my first thought was great, another bloody English episode.  Still not prepared to accept a woman driver, my next dopey thought was Holy crap! There’s no steering wheel in front of that guy — what a dumb oversight by the prop department.

My brain finally accepted that Sharon is driving.  In my defense, however, that was probably pretty rare in chivalrous 1959.  I would also submit to the jury that it makes no sense for her to be driving.  They are arriving at her mother’s apartment where she is going up to have dinner alone with Mom.  So why is Ben there at all if not to drop her off?

Anyhoo, skipping the first 3 seconds of the episode . . .

Ma sees Ben and Sharon out of her window.  She disapproves of their relationship because Ben is married.  Probably also because he is 21 years older than her daughter, and only 3 years younger than her.  Or maybe because he foolishly put all his assets in his wife’s name.

ahpmorningafter13When Ma expresses some sympathy for Ben’s wife, Sharon continues, “His house, his factory, his invest-ments, everything.  And she’s not going to let go of it.  Now do you understand what kind of woman she is?”  [sexist remark redacted — maybe that riddle was right!]

The next day, Ben is surprised to get a visit at work from Sharon’s mother. She asks Ben to stop seeing her daughter because he is ruining her life.  He says he thought she was old enough to make her own decisions, and that he wants nothing more than to marry her daughter.

That night, he rats out Ma’s visit to Sharon.  Sharon is starting to get nervous now as they have been dating for a year and Ben has done nothing to free himself up.  She worries about losing him “because she has no protection.”  You know, like the assets they want to bilk his wife out of.

Ma then goes to see Ben’s wife.  Mrs. No-Name Nelson [2] is pretty accommodating to this stranger who has taken a long bus trip to see her for reasons unknown.  She pours them a couple of glasses of ice tea in pilsner glasses.  Mrs. Nelson recognizes Sharon’s name, but doesn’t seem to know about her husband’s cheating.  Ma finishes wrecking the home that Sharon was working on.

ahpmorningafter11That night, Mrs. Nelson confronts her husband.  She is willing to give Ben “his freedom” but nothing else.  Turns out the aforementioned assets were left to her by her father, so the fact that they were in her name makes sense.

Sensing that she can still do more damage that night, Ma goes to Sharon’s apartment. While Sharon is changing, Ma answers a call from Ben.  Not realizing he is speaking to Ma, he says his wife is dead and tells her the alibi she must give to the police to protect him.  She is to say he was in her apartment from 6 to midnight.

Ma tells Sharon about the call, saying that Ben spoke so fast, she didn’t get a chance to say who she was.  Sensing a way to protect Sharon, she relays the opposite message — that Ben wants her to say he wasn’t here all evening.

OK, that is a great twist, and certainly nails Ben — but how is Sharon so dumb that she doesn’t see the problem?  She is going to provide an alibi for a murder suspect by saying he was NOT with her at the time of the murder?  Don’t alibis usually work the opposite way?

This is a pretty somber affair, but has a few things going for it.  Although a little slow and talky, the story has a lot going on.  Yet, there is also a leanness to the simple story that makes it effective.  Robert Alda is great as Ben — yet another AHP poser who will get what’s coming to him.  I’d like to see some stats on how many wives were killed on AHP.

Jeanette Nolan was especially good as Sharon’s mother.  She had to be concerned for daughter, reluctant in visiting Mrs. Nelson, then distraught at the pain she has caused her, and conflicted at lying to Sharon.  Even as she is spreading the truth, she reflects a horror and self-loathing at knowing she is intruding, that this has hurt Mrs. Nelson and ultimately killed her, set the wheels in motion that led Ben to resort to murder, and denied Sharon the chance to be happy with Ben.

Post-Post:

  • [1] Things I will never remember if I live to be 100:  In a car, is the left and right from the driver’s POV or the guy about to be run over?  Also, which is ectomorph vs endomorph?
  • [2] Portrayed by Fay Wray who has a history of being involved with big apes.
  • AHP Deathwatch:  No survivors.
  • Title Analysis: No idea how they came up with this.
  • Dorothy Provine (Sharon) was in It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World where, in a cast of thousands, she was the only one to have no funny lines.
  • There’s Got to Be a Morning After.
  • IMDb and Hulu.

Valley of Blood – Victor Rousseau (1936)

sascoverGovernor Mynheer van Stent tells Jim Darrell that his plane cannot cross the mountains.  Two other such aircraft had tried and the pilot’s heads were delivered to the governor by Dyak tribes.  They are responsible for killing men, women and children just for the fun of it.  As usual, their leader is a golden-haired white woman.[1]

Her husband and daughter were killed, but somehow she became queen of the tribe.  She then ordered all other women in the tribe to be killed leaving her alone with 300 men.

Dr. Beyers met her when he was once captured and forced to do a minor medical procedure on her; and prescribe 2,000 cases of K-Y Jelly.[2]  The compassionate doctor says, “they should all be wiped out like wild beasts.”

Darrell doesn’t mention that he found a message scrawled on a leaf in blood:  I am an English woman, come and save me.  There was even a diagram of the mountain range and a crude representation of the path which continued on leaf D-8.

Darrell takes off in his plane with a bearer[3] to find the woman.  The Governor was correct and the plane stalls over the mountains.  Darrell does a controlled crash. Despite the fact that his assistant[3] has been standing on the goddamn wing holding a strut the whole time, both walk away without a scratch!

The two men are met by the tribe led by a woman “with a crown of the brightest hair which hung down to her waist.  A woman, nude but for a loin cloth.  Two breasts superbly moulded.”  The tribe brought spears to a gunfight, but still manage to take Darrell and his side-kick[3] hostage.

Back at the tribe’s HQ, the woman gets Darrell alone and tells him her name is Marian Curtis.  She says only two other white men have found her and she killed them both.  So after giving Darrell a “glorious gift”, she must kill him too.  Darrell has a little trouble getting in the mood since he is facing death afterwards.  Marian leaves him, but her daughter Mary Alice secretly brings him some water.  It was she who wrote the loose-leaf note.

That night, the men will drink a love potion and Marian will choose which ones to “favor”. Although with one woman and three hundred men, I doubt a potion is really necessary. As part of the ritual, Darrell will also be “favored.”  And then ripped apart.  Luckily Mary Alice has a plan for them both to escape.

The plan works and they run, chased by Marian and fifty Dylaks.  Just as all is lost, as in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, they run into European forces which mow the brown people down with rifles.[4]

Meh, more of the same.  I’ll say this — the quality is pretty consistent.

Post-Post:

  • [1] I’m not sure whether it is racist or anti-racist that the villains in so many of the stories set in South America, Africa, Indonesia or the Middle East turn out to be blue-eyed, blonde white people.  1936, so I’ll assume racist.
  • [2] No Rx required, but it sounds better that way.
  • [3] Slave.
  • [4] Reviewing the clip, I see they were Indian, not European.  Well, under British rule, anyway.
  • First published in September 1936.

Twilight Zone – A Little Peace and Quiet (09/27/85)

tzpeaceandquiet06The second half of the debut episode benefits from a Thora Birch Bounce [1]   Also, despite not really being one of the Twilight Zone’s dreaded “humorous ” episodes, it has some good laughs in it.  Some are intentional, some are not, but all are good fun.

The problem with episodes that feature despicable characters or skin-crawling scenarios is that you are stuck with them.  Maybe the situations evolve; or, better yet, the characters experience agonizing deaths, but you still have to suffer through 30 minutes of them.  The chaos and shouting and shrill noises here could have been as unbearable as a Hillary Clinton stump speech.[2]  Luckily the goodwill of the humor and the lovely Melinda Dillon (Penny) save the episode from being the excruciating nightmare that it could have been.

The episode opens with everyone’s nemesis, the alarm clock blasting at the oddly specific time of 6:31.  One of their kids has turned it up to concert hall pitch.  Breakfast isn’t much better.  Although the bacon frying and coffee percolating aren’t too irritating, the blaring radio, phone, stove timer, an imbalanced washing machine, four kids, a husband and a dog ratchet up the anxiety.

tzpeaceandquiet32It is funny enough when her young son brings a snake into the kitchen.  It is awesome when his sisters react with a yawn — a major 180 from what you expect.  To top it off, he sneaks the snake onto the grill to fry with the bacon.  Just great stuff.  Bacon, I mean; but the snake bit was great too.

While doing a little gardening (to the tune of her neighbor’s chainsaw), Penny digs up a necklace with a watch on it.  That afternoon after a hectic trip to the grocery store, spilled milk, and an idiot husband, she clasps the watch and screams, “SHUT UP!”  To her shock and awe, there is immediate silence as everyone freezes.

This scene, which could have been a big nothing, manages to be charming and efficient.  Unlike The New Exhibit where still photos were used for some static shots, here the performers were just told to stay still — or in the dog’s case, just stay.  And yes, they actually used a live shot of the dog.  He moves slightly, but pulls it off better than the kids.  Their slight movements can’t help but make you smile, though.  They must have had a ball doing this.

tzpeaceandquiet35The efficiency comes in the editing of several quick bits by Penny to determine what caused this miracle, how to turn the world back on, the location of the necklace, etc.  The episode surprised me by having her husband actually notice that she changed positions as she switched them on and off.

The next morning, Penny uses the miraculous device to save lives and rob big evil banks to help the homeless.  No, wait, she uses it to have a quiet breakfast and bogart the last box of Choco-Poppers at the grocery store.  To be fair, as she is leaving the store, she puts a few filthy bills in the manager’s mouth.

In the parking lot, she sees a man who looks like he just came from the tennis court; or douche convention.  Penny hems and haws before girlishly touching his butt (which would be sexual assault if a guy did it).  But the real thing that caught my eye was this twerp as a one-man band of 1980’s horrors:  the men’s shorty-tennis-shorts, the sweater draped over the shoulders, the sunglasses on a rope around his neck.  If they had panned down, I predict a 50% chance of leg-warmers.

tzpeaceandquiet63That afternoon, she is visited by two attractive, earnest young people wishing to impart the wisdom of their 2 years since high school to her. They invite her to a debate about ridding the world of nuclear weapons.  All three agree that nukes are icky, but that isn’t enough for the two kids.  If Penny doesn’t go their debate, well she’s just a poopy-head. She kindly and non-violently gets rid of them in a scene well-performed by her (the guy is awful, though).

That night as Penny is luxuriating in a bubble bath, she hears a new annoying sound — an air raid siren.  Her husband calls her in to hear the news that Soviet missiles have just entered US air space.  She stops time and for some reason decides to take a stroll downtown in her robe.  It is an eerie site as she weaves her way around frozen people and stopped vehicles.  She sees several people who are looking at the sky.  Looking up, she sees a nuclear missile just a few hundred feet from vaporizing her town.

That is the last shot of the episode, but it is a great ending as it leaves you wondering what happens next.  What could happen next?

tzpeaceandquiet88Post-Post:

  • [1] Any movie or TV episode with Thora Birch starts out a winner with me.  Thora is not in this episode, but the same principle applies to Melinda Dillon.  Thora got there first so the phenomenon is named after her.
  • [2] For equal time, the next time I need a comparison for something childish or dumb as a post, I’ll reference Donald Trump.
  • Classic TZ Homage: A Kind of Stopwatch also had the ability to freeze the universe.  I knew this tag was going to get a workout.
  • At age 10, Judith Barsi (Bertie) and her mother were murdered by her father.  The previous year in Fatal Vision she had portrayed Kimberly MacDonald who was murdered along with her mother and sister by her father Jeffrey MacDonald.  Maybe.
  • The missile is framed over a theater showing the underrated Fail Safe and the overrated Dr. Strangelove — both based on the same book. [UPDATE] Correction in Comments.
  • Of course, the science is ludicrous.  The entire universe can’t just stop, the sun burns, atoms bounce around.  That’s fine — Stephen Hawking didn’t write the script.  He could have acted in half of it, though.
  • Melinda Dillon was born in Hope, Arkansas 7 years before Bill Clinton.
  • So, probably not.