Tales From the Crypt – King of the Road (08/08/92)

tftckingof01Brad Pitt — yes, that Brad Pitt — is street racing some dude.  It isn’t much of a race as the other guy inexplicably goes out of control — driving in a straight line — and does several barrel rolls.  Pitt didn’t really do anything except drive in a straight line.  He could have gotten out and run the last mile and still won.

The next morning, Pitt pays a visit to a nice respectable member of the law enforcement community who once went by the name of “Iceman.”  Joe Garrett denies his street racing past, but Pitt’s character is — surprisingly — smart enough to see through the ruse.

They cross paths again at the malt shop where Iceman’s daughter Carey works.   Iceman is called away but Pitt hits on his daughter and takes her for a spin tftckingof02because he’s Brad Pitt before dropping her at home.  Before leaving her house, he leaves a few items in the Garrett mailbox — a big hairy spider and some newspaper clippings of a death that Iceman was involved in years earlier.

There is a bit about blackmail and Carey tied up in a trunk with a ball-gag in her mouth, but nothing much comes of it — sadly.  Iceman agrees to a race.

They are even-stephen crossing the finish line, but Pitt runs head-on into a bulldozer.  His last action is to drop his lighter, sending his wrecked car up in flames, and turning him into a  . . . wait for it . . .barbecue Pitt.

tftckingof03This would be close to an absolute zero without Pitt — there’s a reason the guy is a star.  The Iceman turned in a nice performance too.  The only other character, Carey, is mostly a non-entity.  She is given little to do and does little with it.

The big let-down is the story — there really is none.  No twist, nothing supernatural, no plot except guy A challenges guy B to a race in a straight line and guy A is so addle he runs into a stationary bulldozer.

Post-Post:

  • Sorry to speak ill of the dead, but the episode had some typically annoying music by Warren Zevon.  I’m also not crazy about The Dead.
  • Title Analysis:  Pointless since they wasted the perfect opportunity to use the great, titular King of the Road.

 

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