Spinster Miss Lowen is playing solitaire with all her friends when the doorbells rings. How exciting, it is the winner of the 1960 Emmy for Worst Casting in a Drama or Limited Series, Stanley Adams! Tonight, Mr. Adams is playing the role of Detective Berger. Although an interesting character, this big, fat guy never once struck me as being a real police detective.[1] He was more like a Peter Lorre character who wandered onto the wrong soundstage in search of a better buffet. Nevertheless, he and Miss Lowen did take a very talky first act and make it fly by.
Like every man Miss Lowen meets, he is looking for a younger woman. In this case. Detective Berger is looking for Margie, who Miss Lowen tells him is her niece. She says Margie has lived with her since her parents died, but she is away with friends this week. Berger explains that Margie has been corresponding with a lifer named
Margie is a cutie, but what a Rod tease! This is what you send a guy in prison? You couldn’t find a berka?
Rod “The Rod” Collins at the State Penitentiary. They connected through a Pen Pal club ad in a romance magazine. Berger even has a picture of Margie that he found in Collins’ cell covering the hole he escaped through. Margie used a PO Box so her aunt did not see the letters, but Detective Berger got her address from the club.
He gives Miss Lowe one of the letters to read. It is romantic, poetic, and chaste as you would expect on 1960’s TV. Margie expresses the desire for them to somehow be together. Berger says that is the problem — Collins has broken out of prison and the convicted killer will likely come here looking for Margie tonight!
So Detective Berger gives her his card and leaves.
Miss Lowe’s next scene is a great clue as to what is going on. It is subtle enough that it might not register on the first viewing, but you appreciate the subtlety once you know the outcome. In fact that is true throughout the first act, so kudos to actress Katherine Squire.
Sure enough, minutes later, Rod Collins climbs through Miss Lowe’s window. And he does so with a ferocity and orchestral stinger that, when combined with her scream, is pretty chilling. But wait, since the letters were going to a PO Box, how did Collins even know the address?
Not being The Blindman of Alcatraz, Collins can see immediately that this is not Margie unless that picture was taken by Mathew Brady. She did mention her Aunt in the letters though, so he knows for sure who he’s dealing with, yessiree. She tells Collins that Margie is away for the weekend, and that there is no use in waiting here for her here. You know, other than being in the air conditioning, having a hot shower, being off the public streets, having clean sheets, watching TV, and where three square meals will be prepared for him; so, really, a lot like prison (i.e. my retirement plan).
He demands food which Miss Lowe provides. He drinks the milk straight from the bottle; and that’s in addition to being a murderer. She does not risk spoiling the ruse by offering him the leftover catfish. He tells her that he is in love with Margie and that Margie loves him. Miss Lowe says that can’t be true; that Margie is just a child. Collins says she could never understand their love and harshly calls her a “dried up old crab.” Well, the actress is no spring chicken at 57 years old. On the other hand, Lori Loughlin is 55. Of course, after 2 years in the slam, maybe she will look like Miss Lowe. [2]
Collins says he has been in prison for 9 years, since he was 18. The loneliness was crushing him until he began getting letters from Margie. Miss Lowe says Margie was probably just being kind. She says he can’t ask Margie to flee the country with him and constantly be worrying about the law. Collins grabs her and says she better find a way to contact Margie.
Miss Lowe admits she knows the phone number and calls her. She has cleverly called Detective Berger though. Who knew Miss Lowe was capable of such deception? Collins catches on, though. He grabs the phone, but she brains him with a candelabra. If she were Jewish, he’d be dead. He awakens after the police arrive. They bandage him up and haul him away.
The twist is revealed as Miss Lowe sits down and writes another letter to Collins. Writing as Margie, she says she has a confession, but it is not the one you expect. She weepily pulls out a glamor shot that Collins had sent her. Since he has been in prison for 9 years, I don’t know where it would have come from.
Not a classic, but I liked it more than Jack at bare*bones; maybe because he was able to see how much better it could have been. In fact, in a first, he prefers the 1980s remake (sadly, the link is broken). I also like how he saw that Miss Lowe not only projected Margie onto herself; she also projected herself onto Margie. Cool.
Other Stuff:
- [1] Seven years later, he would be perfectly cast as a seller of Certified Pre-Owned Tribbles on Star Trek. Also notable as an anthropomorphic carrot on Lost in Space (1968).
- Great, now I can’t get Mellow Yellow out of my head — with 7 syllables, anthropomorphic carrot would have made a great stanza-opener. Maybe in between Electrical Banana and I’m Just Mad about Fourteen. Wait, what? How did I never notice that?
- [2] Pffft, rich and beautiful. She will never do any real time.
- AHP Deathwatch: Clu Gulager (Rod) is still doing life.
- 3rd consecutive episode without a murder.
- Ha! Pen Pal = Penitentiary Pal! I just got that.
I find this inexplicably hilarious
Matt and Sally McCoy are celebrating their wedding at this elite cafe named Ray’s Bar. I guess the reception was held there because Newland was diddling the cake earlier. Adding to the class and sanctity of this blessed event, a couple of dudes have attended in their work-shirts with the name of a moving company on the back. Sally is dancing with a bunch of the guys who are Matt’s friends, but everyone seems happy.
Matt pulls the car over, and Sally gets out. She runs to a beautiful cliff overlooking the ocean. [2] She is darting about as if confused and in a trance. Matt asks her what is wrong. She says,”Who are you?” Even stranger, she has lost her accent quicker than Elizabeth Olsen in Avengers: Infinity War. She runs back to the car and — LOL — takes it, stranding Matt.
She says she was murdered by Dan Stapler who she used to be married to. The doctor knows that Dan was never married. Sally — oh sorry, she’s identifying as Karen today — says they kept the marriage secret because her mother hated Dan. Her mother’s instincts were correct as Dan soon bashed Karen’s head in and threw her off the cliff.
My only real beef is the bit where Karen said the doctor asked her to marry him four years ago. It is bizarre how that is shoehorned in, given no reaction, then dropped. I can only figure that 1) a scene was deleted for time, and/or 2) that was supposed to explain why the doctor just happened to have an 8 x 10 glamor shot of Karen Wharton in his office that was not an X-Ray of her skull.
The locations, the actors, the 
The titular Haven is one of the new high rise condos that promise the residents “the utmost in privacy and security”. Aside from an occasional awkward encounter in the elevator, the occupants are virtually guaranteed to never see or hear their neighbors. If unauthorized persons appear on their floor, say selling overpriced, loosely packed cookies, hovering drones will zap them. There is never any noise, and eye contact is discouraged. Wait, are you sure this place isn’t called The Heaven?
As Caleb walks through his unit the next morning, everything seems to be Alexa’d. He asks for the blinds to open and they do, he asks for the refrigerator door to open and it does. He similarly bosses around the cabinets, TV, laptop, and orders muffins. Suddenly, everything starts glitching. His appliances turn off, and he is trapped in his condo. We see from the identical holographic Georges on every floor responding to complaints that the failure is building-wide, not just because Caleb was mean to his toaster, and forget what he told his toilet to do.
She also happens to be an electronics whiz. In no time, she shorts out her door so it swings open. Alyssa and Caleb go into the hallway which is dim with emergency lighting. George is back online and actually visible in the dark because, in a masterful bit planning, they used an albino as the model for holographic George.
Their constant motion gives the episode an inertia the Outer Limits sometimes lacks. They even have an interesting message at the end. I’m not sure if it is a great episode, but it is one of my favorites.
Narrator: “In this building in Atlantic City, an important scientific convention is being held. The eagerly awaited highlight of this meeting is a paper prepared by Dr. Eleanor Ballard, a devoted pioneer in bio-chemistry.” 
