Ach du Lieber! Sometime during my brief time away, TOTU disappeared from Amazon Prime. So I skimmed this episode on DailyMotion last night to see what I had to look forward to. When I went back tonight, it was gone from DailyMotion too. However, it is still on You Tube. With any luck, it will now disappear from You Tube — because it looks dreadful.

Arthur Beauchamp is lounging comfortably on his couch enjoying a fifth. ^[1]  Sadly, it is of Beethoven, not liquor.  Pamela unplugs his headphones which are quaintly enormous and tethered to his stereo.  For a couple of seconds, we are treated to the mellifluous, melodious sounds of the orchestra.  Then Pamela speaks in a raspy, cringe-inducing smoker’s voice that could peel the wallpaper off a grape. ^[6]

On the plus side, they have a pretty good exchange:

“I’m listening to Beethoven “

“Wrong, you’re listening to me!”

The overbearing older woman says she has an idea.  Roald Dahl’s intro informed us she that she has all the money in the marriage and Arthur is a kept man. This dominance is clear from the first frame as she obnoxiously bosses Arthur around. If she joined the cast of The Golden girls, Bea Arthur would be the hot one. ^[2]

Pamela chastises him for not being grateful for her large ass largesse. ^[3] She says “not many people sit around listening to Beethoven in the middle of the afternoon.” Least of all, Mrs. Beethoven, I imagine.

She threatens him with cutting off his allowance and making him get a job.  He reminds her that he brings her breakfast in bed on the maid’s day off.  But she really just wants to be listened-to.

Pamela is bored.  She is only interested in the couple — the Snapes — that will be visiting them this weekend.  Well, not interested in them, but they are great competitors at Bridge.  She has come up with an idea to make the evening exciting after the Bridge game.  Thank God, being English, it is not an orgy.  

After making Arthur guess, Pamela reveals her idea: To listen . . . a first for her.  She instructs Arthur to put a microphone in their guest bedroom.  He is, still being English, mortified — and that is BEFORE she told him her plan.  They argue in a frankly too-long scene.  She finally wins him over by saying, “I’ll tell you where I hid the feather-duster” which just baffles me.

The Snapes show up just as Arthur is finishing wiring up the microphone and speaker.  I agree with Arthur’s initial reaction — this is an appalling violation of their privacy!  Hmmm . . . OTOH Sally Snapes is about 30 years younger than Pamela.  Can we maybe get some video on this thing?

They have a good game and knock off around 11:00.  Arthur and Pamela run giddily upstairs to listen in on their young, sexually-viable guests.  It has taken 3/4 of the runtime to get to this point.  I’ll sum up the last 1/4 in one sentence: The Snapes were cheating at cards.  That’s it — no murder, no aliens.  The first time I watched this, I was gob-smacked at how the episode just stopped.  It seemed like the most anti-climactic ending since Conclave. ^[4] 

Three things getting back to this blog reminded me:  1) It isn’t always about a surprise ending (aka the “Ray Bradbury Theory theater Theater theory” conjecture) ^[5], 2) My first impulse is usually wrong (aka the “just put on the f***ing condom” proposition), and 3) WordPress Blocks is the worst software innovation in the history of computing.  Why oh why didn’t I follow Danica to Go Daddy! 

So now that the dust has settled, here is the truth:  This was a another good TOTU episode.  Elaine Stritch is indeed immediately annoying, but dang if she does not win you over quickly with her energy and sharp delivery.  Arthur is likeable, and the Snapes have some fine moments.  I feel like the 6 minutes that I impulsively reduced to one sentence did not exploit the sexual misdirect as well as it could have.  However, they did it in their own way and moved on to their marital dysfunction and card-counting technique. 

Treating the reveal as a shock or twist just deflates a pretty good production.  It is a lesson that will stay with me for minutes.  Well played!

Other Stuff:

• [1]  Never really thought about it until now, so I looked it up. You never hear “a fifth” of liquor referred to anymore unless it is in a joke or whatever that was above. It refers to 750 ML which is about a fifth of a gallon. BTW, it is labeled as “750 ML” because “26 Ounces” would make you realize how absurdly expensive this rotgut is.
• [2]  OK, there are 3 other GGs, but I don’t even want to think about it.
• [3]  Actually, she is in pretty good shape.
• [4]  Also no murder, no aliens.
• [5]  “Ray Bradbury Theory theater Theater theory” might be the hardest tongue-twister in history.  After a fifth, I mean.
• [6]  I wanted to see if I had coined a totally unique new phrase.  MS Copilot chastised me:  “The request to ‘peel the wallpaper off a grape’ is nonsensical. Grapes do not have wallpaper and cannot be peeled in the same way.”  Gee, thanks AI!  Ooooh, I’m so scared of you!
• Elaine Stritch was last seen in William & Mary.  30 years later she would play Alec Baldwin’s mother in 30 Rock.
• Title Analysis:  No idea.
• Shame on me.  Contract Bridge and I couldn’t work rubber into the post.  Also not pictured:  Full-Contact Bridge, and If You Build a Thousand Bridges . . .