Dr. Molstad is showing a journalist ^[1] around his clinic where he studies people who have no emotions.  A little girl is licked by a puppy and doesn’t want to wash up.  A little boy is treated to a concert by a piccolo-playing clown and isn’t screaming in terror.  Molstad says they have Alexithymia, which is an actual condition.

Joan Harrison ^[2] interrupts to show them a hostage situation on TV.  Beth Carter, one of Molstad’s patients, is being used as a human shield by a robber.  SWAT saves the taxpayers the cost of a trial.  Beth Carter is led away not just emotionless, but completely devoid of any reaction or interest in her endangerment, the man’s life or if he got blood on her sweater.  She doesn’t give a damn that the criminal died, so in this case her stoicism is appropriate.

Back at the clinic, Molstad tells Beth he has a huge potential break-through in her therapy.  And by therapy, he means implanting an emotion chip in her brain because he has seen how that always worked out well for Data on Star Trek TNG.  He tells her she is the perfect test case for the implant.  Well, yeah — what is she going to do, say she’s scared to have the operation?  Perfect!  He assures her this test could help millions of sufferers.

As they observe, Beth eats lunch and watches TV after the operation. There seems to be no change at all. Then Molstad sees her eyeing the TV remote.  “She wants to change the channel.  She’s bored with it, dissatisfied.”  I feel her pain.  He is ecstatic as she changes the channel. “She expressed a desire!”

Three months later, Joan takes Beth into her home.  They work on her hair, her wardrobe and have some chamomile tea.  Soon she is back at work.  After her first day, she excitedly rushes home to tell Joan about it.  Joan is not there, however, and Beth begins hearing noises and voices.  She faints, but comes around in time to go with Joan to their cute neighbor Kevin’s boat.

She later hears the voices again.  This time, however, something grabs her hand and she finds Joan’s cat dead on the doorstep.  As she is fleeing the apartment, she sees a giant green alien in the living room.

Molstad says the emotion chip is a failure.  Considering Beth’s emotional reaction to that assessment, he is either right or wrong and I firmly stand by that conclusion.  That night Kevin cooks her dinner and pours her wine.  As they start to get more horizontal, she again sees the aliens and they drag her away to their spaceship for a different kind of probe.  Or maybe the same kind.^[3]

When she reports this, Molstad is adamant that the experiment is a failure. As he is calling the 24-brain surgeon to give her a Rosemary Kennedy, she flees the clinic.  She runs back to Joan’s apartment which is the first place they would look, but where else does she have?  She sees Joan’s cat is still alive.  Then she sees Kevin’s apartment is just a storage closet (and BTW, she apparently teleports into the room without him seeing her).  After Kevin leaves, she checks out his typical bachelor pad . . . no furniture, junk everywhere, pizza boxes, alien costumes, brightly lit mock-UFO interior.

Kevin and Joan come back and Beth sees them smooching.  She over-hears them discussing how they were gaslighting her because they had developed a rival emotion chip that could be worth billions.  She grabs the operating table from the UFO and rams Kevin and Beth right out the window.  It is laughable that the table was fast enough and had the mass to push two adults to their death.  On the other hand, it was satisfying and pretty awesomely shot.  Beth’s reaction is no reaction.

Molstad diagnoses her as returning to her previous state, so she escapes any punishment.  In his office, he tells her that the chip is dormant and will do no harm.  She goes back to Joan’s place because when you kill someone, you get to live in their apartment.

The ending is as much a construct as the fake UFO set.  Beth is alone in Joan’s apartment stroking Joan’s cat with that same blank expression.  Then she slowly gives us a big smile.  OK, maybe she faked the relapse to avoid punishment.  But why was she keeping up the ruse alone with cat?  And by faking, she has cost Molstad — who actually was a good guy — his chance at fame and fortune.  Oh, and those millions of Alexithymia sufferers Molstad mentioned?  Yeah, they shouldn’t get too excited about a cure any time soon . . . even if they could. ^[4]

The episode started losing me as it got a little sappy.  Also, Beth in her emotionless state was unconvincing.  However, she was perfectly fine after getting the chip.  It was also interesting to see a young Curtis Manning from 24 as Kevin.  Not a great outing, but this show seems to have a natural floor — it can never be any worse than just OK.

Tomorrow: Science Fiction Theatre, which I also think can never get any worse.

Post-Post:

• ^[1] The actress has an almost Garrett Morris level of ability to find just the wrong inflection in any sentence.
• ^[2] LA Law’s Michelle Green in a role that just screams for Teryl Rothery.
• ^[2] Khaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnn!
• ^[3] Er, he actually kind of admits to date-raping her and Joan is mostly OK with it.
• ^[4] After news of this ruse hits, the rival chip maker will be crippled by fines and lawsuits.  Who am I kidding?  They will pay a fine equal to 1% of their Net Income, no one will go to jail, and a few Senators will have new swimming pools.
• Half the same plot and 9/10ths the same title as Awakenings.

Another grossly inefficient spacecraft. But the floating chair is cool.

John Virgil is in the spaceship Tempest returning from Earth.  He has picked up a serum that he is taking back to his colony.  There have been a few deaths, but his wife and son appear fine on the video they sent.

He is joined by Burt Young.  His character Captain Parker is given no first name.  I assume, like every character Burt has ever played, it is Paulie.^[1]  There is also Dr. Vasquez and Governor Mudry. They are preparing to drop out of the matrix, but do so too close to the planet Leviathan and get pulled into its gravity well. They have an immediate argument over who should get to use the emergency escape pod.  Parker and Virgil are pretty selfless unlike a certain roly-poly President I could name.  They want to send the doctor with the serum.  Naturally, the Governor has a gross over-estimation of her value.

Unfortunately, no one gets out before The Tempest crashes.  Everyone is roughed up, but Parker is in the worst shape.  He has a hematoma and a concussion and his brain will soon be too large for his skull, which is never something I expected to say about Burt Young.

Virgil goes outside to check the damage, but is attacked by a giant spider.  Not shelob-giant, but a meaty little package the size of 2.5 small dogs.  Understandably freaked out, he flees into the ship.  He is not too diligent about keeping the beast out, unlike a certain Warrant Officer I could name.  He collapses, then awakens in the hospital at the colony. His wife praises him for saving the colony.  Then — bang — he wakes up back on The Tempest.

The doctor says the 12-hour hallucination is due to a spider-bite. We can judge it for ourselves as the doctor didn’t feel the need to bandage the gaping 4 inch wound on Virgil’s arm.  Another spider got into the ship and found the Governor as scrumptious as she found herself.  It doesn’t have the cocooning skills of an Alien or me on a long weekend, but has webbed itself to her neck and is controlling her autonomic functions such as heart-rate and corruption.  It is an effective shot as she begs to have it removed.

Like Billy Pilgrim’s being unstuck in time, Virgil snaps back to the hospital.  His wife and the doctor tell him about the crash, but get a few details wrong.  He goes to Parker’s room.  Parker screams at Virgil to not leave him with the spiders and Virgil snaps back to The Tempest.  He continues flipping back and forth as we learn more about the condition of the ship.

It comes to the kind of grim, disturbing conclusion that the 1980s Twilight Zone could use more of.  The only downside is that it felt a little padded out.  I wish the producers had not been forced to make every episode the perfect length for future syndication.

Good stuff.

Post-Post:

• ^[1] Upon doing 30 seconds of research, I am shocked.  Burt Young only played a character named Paulie in the Rocky movies.  He sure seems like a Paulie in every movie.
• Title Analysis:  Sure, it is the name of the ship, but I’m not sure what they were going for.  A tempest is a violent windstorm, which does not apply.  Or a violent commotion . . . maybe.  I see no connection to Shakespeare’s play.  And why is it plural?  I guess the spiders are the titular tempests, but why?
• I initially thought Virgil was a play on Virtual.  Maybe it is — makes more sense than tempests.
• Them pests!

Cowboy Jake Miller is having a crisis of conscience — he can’t remember the faces of any of the eight men he has killed.  His brother Ben rightly reminds him that even if he could remember their faces, they’d still be dead.  Nearby, a preacher is having a bigger crisis as an alien materializes and possesses his body.

The brothers ride into town with their associates Frank & JD.  The gang is in town to recover buried loot from one of their previous jobs.  While Frank & JD go get liquored up at eight in the morning, Jake & Ben visit their father.  We see where Jake gets his conscience.  Their father is none too happy to see his outlaw sons, but grudgingly offers them their old bedroom since nothing had yet been invented to make it into a man-cave. Dad’s hands aren’t entirely clean as he dug up the loot and saved it for his boys.

Frank & JD go to the saddle boutique.  The possessed Preacher strolls by and gives them a demonstration.  Light shoots out of his eyes and he makes a horse disappear.  He offers to give them the same power.  Frank tests it out by making a wagon wheel disappear.  With this amazing new talent, the best the can think to do is kill the storekeeper and steal a couple of saddles and horses.

While Jake visits his old gal Miriam, Frank & JD go to local cemetery dig up the loot.  Maybe they should have used that skill to make 2,000 pounds of dirt disappear.  They are not happy when they discover that the loot has been moved.  Here is where I get lost.

Jake & Ben see Frank & JD at the cemetery.   Frank says, “Let’s get going.”  Ben stops them after a few steps and says, “Hold up, this is it.”  They all start digging and unearth a steel box.  Frank uses his superpowers to enable him and JD to steal the loot.  OK, so Frank & JD didn’t get mad that the money had been moved; or that they dug a huge back-breaking hole for nothing.  Maybe they were playing it cool until Jake & Ben took them to the real burial space.  That kind of calm strategic long-game doesn’t seem like a good fit for Frank, though.

As for Ben & Jake, why did Ben immediately tell them the loot had been moved?  And wasn’t their father holding the loot for them anyway?

Jake & Ben point their pistols at Frank, but he just makes them disappear.  When Ben rushes him, he strangles him, with sparks flying from his hands.  After Frank & JD take off with the loot, the Preacher happens by.  He gives Jake & Ben the same power.

Blah, blah, blah.  More people get killed, including JD.  There is a showdown which is witnessed by the Preacher.  I don’t get all the motivations, but it has a resolution that is very satisfying.

The Preacher explains he is from another planet.  This was all a test from yet another condescending alien species.  Jake gets on his horse and inexplicably rides off leaving Miriam, the only other survivor, behind.  Well, she did kill his brother which could make Thanksgiving awkward, but he really had it coming.  But again, the motivation escapes me.  I like that she is left stunned, staring at the sky, but why is she alone?

There is actually a great deal to like here.  The town, the snow, the frontier, the horses, the people — all perfectly rendered and believable.  Major kudos are due to director Mario Azzopardi for the episode.  Who knows to what extent he deserves credit for the production design, but dude knows how to use a camera.  Thank God we get the occasional director who understands that the camera’s range doesn’t stop at the first actor in the view-finder.  He frequently layers in a horse running away in the background, the Preacher passively observing, or simply the flowing river which give an immense texture to the scene and story.

As mentioned several times above, I wasn’t sure of the motivation in a few scenes, but the feel of the episode completely won me over.  If I had to complain about anything it is that 2 of the cowboys are unbelievable assholes; I mean over the top, hammy, in your face assholes.  And 3 of them are too much Hollywood purty-boys.^[1]  Where’s Ernest Borgnine when you need him?  Sure, dead now, but not in 1997.

Rating:  Maybe not my heart’s desire, but fulfilled my desire for a fine hour of TV.

Post-Post:

• ^[1] Apologies to the fourth.  I’m sure he is a nice guy and fun at parties.
• Title Analysis:  Heart’s Desire is the name of the town.  Really a complete non-sequitur.

The Elder is giving a speech to the prisoners about the era twelve generations ago, before the New Masters arrived, when humans held dominion over the earth.  Special scorn is heaped on the treasonous humans who help the alien overlords. He reminds the children that their birthright lies outside the gates of their prison.  A couple of human guards show up and escort the Elder out.

The next day, the human Commandant lines up the wretched remains of humanity in the prison yard.  He has three announcements.

• 1) The nutritional rations will be cut by 3%.
• 2) Repairs to the refining center will continue.
• 3) The Elder won’t be getting any elder.

He graciously grants the prisoners one hour to grieve and to choose a younger Elder. Prisoner 98843 (Harley Jane Kozak) shouts that the rations are already too low.  The Commandant says there is no more food to distribute.  She suggests that they grow their own food or import it from somewhere.  He dismissively dismisses the idea before he says, “Dismissed.”

Later, 98843 is complaining to a guard about the lack of replacement parts for the factory.  She is joined by a young mute girl ^[1] who has been bringing water to the prisoners as they work.  She is also teaching the girl about electronics.  This is good, because the way 98843 mouths off to the overseers, there won’t be a 98844.

Guards enter and haul 98843 away to see the Commandant.  The prisoners assume she will be raped.  The Commandant even misleadingly says, “I need you.”  She begins to strip but he stops her.  He pops an electronic eyeball out of its socket and hands it to her with the order, “Repair it.”  She negotiates more food for the kiddies.  The Commandant had said there was no more, yet he agrees, the big liar-head.  He also warns that if she fails, they will get NO food, which makes no sense.  As that Moses guy said in the movie, “The strong make many [bricks], the weak make few, the dead make none.”

Prisoner 91777 (Bill Cobb) is elected as the new Elder.  The Commandant orders them both to his office to receive supplementary rations for the prisoners.  91777 wants to know how 98843 got him to agree to this, but she dodges the question.  The Commandant tells them they will receive sharrak, an alien food from the New Masters; also some cigars from the Dutch Masters.  They are taken to a dungeon where a tentacled sharrak lives.  It attacks 98843 and 91777 is allowed to cut off its tentacle to feed the prisoners (oh, and save 98843’s life).

At the big feast, 91777 notes that there are fewer overseers.  He recalls a previous uprising where some prisoners made it over the wall.  However, 98843 recalls the remaining prisoners were slaughtered.  She reminds him the New Masters destroyed the combined armies of the world in 3 days.  Since he says the survivors reported seeing nothing but aliens with razor teeth, and scorched earth and black steel, I’m not sure what his hurry is.

The Commandant’s new eye goes bad, revealing that he is a robot.  He orders 98843 to repair him or he will feed the young girl to the sharrak. She does, and becomes his personal mechanic, living separate from the other prisoners.  Despite her securing more food for them, they shun her as a traitor.

She learns that all of the overseers are robots.  They are beginning to break down and will soon execute Procedure 7 — closing the camp and killing the human prisoners.  The next time the group is assembled in the yard, 98843 twists the Commandant’s head off and shows everyone he is a robot.  The humans attack the few remaining overseers, who ain’t exactly Cyberdyne products in fighting ability.

The humans prevail and open the prison gates for the first time in centuries.  The gates swing open to reveal not a scorched earth, but a plush green valley (and possibly the former 18th fairway at Augusta (sorry, 98843)) ^[2].  The verdant scenery proves that the robots were lying for 2 centuries, and that even 200 years in the future, prime real estate with a scenic view will be squandered on an ugly government building if a Senator’s brother owns the land.

A good episode despite maybe being padded out a little.  As usual on The Outer Limits, the performances and production design are great assets. Harley Jane Kozak and David Hemblen as the Commandant were both great in their roles.

Good stuff.

Post-Post:

• ^[1] The family relationships here seem needlessly obfuscated.  The girl is referred to as 98843’s girl, but she doesn’t seem to be her daughter, although there are hints. Mid-episode, 98843 refers to the previous Elder as her father, but there was no indication of that earlier.
• ^[2] Correction, Augusta began accepting female members in 2012 (as predicted by the Mayan calendar).
• 91777 is not a prime number, but is the product of three primes:  7 x 7 x 1,873.
• 98843 is not a prime number, but is the product of two primes:  97 x 1,019.
• I like a prime number reference as much as the next guy, but why have a different number of factors?  I assume I’m missing something; probably missing the fact that there is no significance.
• Harley Jane Kozak is a genresnaps fave for reasons I’m not even sure of.  Could it be one episode of LA Law I saw on Lifetime before the New Masters arrived?
• Title Analysis:  A little too on-the-nose.

A motorcade of black SUVs and limos with a massive carbon footprint rolls up to a secure building.  A diverse group of white men and white women file into a conference room. Rather than wait for Leonardo DiCaprio to arrive in his private jet, they start immediately.  “Dark Rain is now falling on every continent.”

95% – 97% of the earth’s population has been exposed to Teradoxyn. Paradoxically, it was first detected in the Middle East which you might think would get off easy on rain-related plagues. How did Seattle escape this fate?  Note to CDC: investigate immunity based on coffee and awful music.  “The birthrate of viables has already fallen to near-zero.”

Dr. Marissa Golding wants to spread the word that we brought this on ourselves.  It was caused by the use of chemical weapons which mutated.  I guess this was before the next Ice Age was a bigger threat than Global Warming, and the Hole in the Ozone was not fashionable yet.  Maybe this was during the Acid Rain / No Nukes hysteria nexus. Rest assured, though, the producers are quick to say that “both sides” were at fault.  C’mon, I expect that kind of America-bashing from Hollywood, but from Canadians?  Naturally, the administration wants to squash this data lest it hurt their chance of getting re-elected with 2 of the 3 remaining electoral votes.

Glen Campbell Glen Canyon High School has seen better days; as has Glen Campbell.  Someone has spray-painted School’s Out Forever on the front doors.  Although most of the classrooms are empty, Sherry McAllister teaches the last existing class of kids.  She reminds them it is time to report to the Federal Reproductive Board to “get tested for your fertility rating and become sexually active as soon as possible.” Holy crap, they look about 12 years old!  Their lack of enthusiasm for this plan is the best indication they might be too young.

Back at casa de McAllister, she and husband Tim are watching the news.  The NWA (New World Army) is pissing off the government by minding their own business.  Oh, they’re being accused of terrorism, but I suspect that is a smokescreen.  Even Tim says, “What is wrong with those people?”  He just can’t catch a break.  Even though there is zero population growth, Sherry is making him use a condom . . . mutations, you know.  A week later she is pregnant.  Weirdly played, but I assume this isn’t the first time they’ve had the sex.

At the hospital, Dr. Golding assures them there are no signs of mutation. Quickly, men with guns show up and say they are there for her protection (i.e. We’re from the government and we’re here to help).  Sherry accidentally witnesses another woman go into labor in a very well-done scene.  It is known that the baby will be a mutant, but there is still great energy and suspense as the medical team surrounds her.  The heightened stakes come through in the production, so kudos on that.  Sherry is understandably ready to bail after seeing that.

Some time later, however, Sherry gives birth to a healthy boy.  They are thrilled, but not thrilled that they are still prisoners.  To be fair, they hold the key to humanity’s survival.  I am in the unusual position of supporting Big Government on this one.  This is too important to keep all your fertilized eggs in one basket.  They are awakened one night by an NWA member in their room.  He offers to help them escape with their baby.  When the head doctor brings the brass in to see the miracle baby, all they see is NWA spray-painted on the wall.  As the McAllisters are African-American, this takes on a whole different unintended meaning.  No, the other one.

I should have stuck to my constitutionally-protected guns — they escape to the NWA’s compound and there is a happy, almost tear-jerking resolution.  It has finally struck me that this newer version of Outer Limits is softer on the Sci-Fi, and spends more time exploring humanity and emotion than the original series — just like the new Twilight Zone, but I always complain about that reboot.  Maybe it’s because I am not as familiar with the original Outer Limits, so I can’t be disappointed.  Or maybe Outer Limits is just a much better series.

Nothing extraordinary here, just another well-produced episode. Outer Limits stands with AHP as being reliable when the other series wear me down.

I rate it an 85% chance of dark precipitation.

Post-Post:

• Shades of Children of Men which came both earlier (book) and later (movie).  But it’s probably a common sci-fi trope.
• Sadly, the mutants reminded me of Unnatural Selection.  Very sadly.
• The head of the Federal Reproductive Board survived two episodes of Ray Bradbury Theater:  The Wonderful Death of Dudley Stone and The Screaming Woman.
• Title Analysis:  Meh.  Complete McGuffin.  Could have been anything.