Tag Archives: One Step Beyond

One Step Beyond – Front Runner (06/09/59)

Posted on by
1

Ronnie Watson is in an oxygen tent in the ICU.  He tells reporter Tim Berryman he has incontrovertible evidence that Joe Kennedy is going to steal the election for JFK next year.  But the journalist really just wants to hear about the ghost story with horsies this woozy guy is telling with his last breath.

Ronnie recalls some years ago when, at 5’10”, he was the world’s tallest jockey (although that fact is not mentioned in the story).  He is having dinner with his pal, fellow jockey Sam Barry (a slightly more reasonable 5’5″) .  Ronnie’s girlfriend joins them.  Sam says tomorrow’s race is his last  He is retiring to open a bar in New Jersey where strangers would be welcome. [3] Oh, and he adds one other thing — he is marrying Ronnie’s galrita.  His what?  Oh his gal, Rita. [2]

Rita is 29 years younger than Sam and towers about 5 inches above him, so the jockey business pays a lot better than I thought.  Or they are drawn to the business because they have something in common with horses.

At the track the next day, Sam and Ronnie are neck and neck.   Later that afternoon, their horses are running even in the race.  Ronnie reaches over and tugs on Sam’s saddle cloth.  That is enough to throw his horse off stride.

Sam complains to the judges.  They are inclined to believe Sam since he is a veteran jockey with a clean record.  However, Ronnie points out that Sam had $10,000 bet on the race.  The judges let the results stand.  Sam socks Ronnie in the kisser and says someday the tables will be turned.

Over the next 10 years, Ronnie goes on to be a rich and famous jockey.  Sam is reduced to working for $10 per race south of the border, down Mexico way.  Ronnie tells his agent he is going to retire.  On the day of his last race, he sees Sam in the line-up.  As they are in the final stretch, Sam cuts Ronnie off and they both finish out of the money. [4]

This time, Ronnie complains to the judges.  They do not believe the story about Sam cutting him off.  Mostly because Sam died in a freak steeplechase accident in Uruguay yesterday, which is how I hope to go.  They even run a film of the race showing that Sam was not there.  In the footage where Sam’s horse veers off from the pack, they are alone.

C’mon, I’ll buy the occasional appearance of a dead colleague, or an image on a wall or in a mirror.  But riding a horse?  Before the race we saw a groom leading it to the gate.  Is the groom dead?  Is the horse dead?  Is the opera dead?  How about a horse-opera?

Cut back to Ronnie today in the ICU.  He is freaking out from the story he just told.  The nurse sedates him.  He asks if the journalist believes him, then dies peacefully.

I’m baffled by this framing device with the journalist.  It seems clunky and unnecessary. I’m not even clear why Ronnie is in the ICU.  He did not take a fall in the race.  Is this supposed to be many, many years later?  He looks like he’s been beat up, but he doesn’t look older.

On the plus side, either Alcoa was shelling out some big coin, or they appropriated some great film of the horse races.

Footnotes:

  • [1]  In comparison, Willie Shoemaker was 4’11’ and Eddie Arcaro was 5’2″.  That is every jockey I can name.
  • [2]  Blatant rip-off of the goonluca gag from Police Squad.
  • [3]  OK, this means nothing to you, but it reminds me of something a friend in college said.  It was hilarious, so clearly this is not the time or place to repeat it.
  • [4]  Link goes to “We’re in the Money” from Gold Diggers of 1933.  Yeah, it might seem corny, but wait for the close up of her singing in Pig Latin around 1:35.  It is impossible to not have thoughts of your great-great-grandmother that even your great-great-grandfather didn’t have.  Sadly, the focus-puller seems to have been pulling something else other than the focus.
  • I was going to mock writer Don Mankiewicz for being the black sheep in a family that included Joseph Mankiewicz and Herman Mankiewicz.  But he actually had a fine career.  Plus no one knows who the hell Joseph Mankiewicz and Herman Mankiewicz were.

One Step Beyond – Echo (06/02/59)

Posted on by
2

Paul Marlin appears dazed and confused in the California courtroom where he was just found innocent of murdering his wife.  I saw that same look after the verdict in the OJ Simpson courtroom, except it was on Marcia Clark. [1]

Marlin’s lawyer recommends he get out of town for some rest.  He still wants to know who killed his wife.  Maybe he should have hired Perry Mason.  He would have gotten Marlin off, found the real killer, and manipulated the evidence just to be sure. [2]

In the hallway, they are approached by a journalist named Ferris — the old fashioned kind of reporter that didn’t go to Harvard, leaves the office, wears a felt hat, and reeks of cigarettes and whiskey.  He asks Marlin how he feels about being “let off.”

Marlin says to Ferris, “You’ve gone so far out of your way to twist and distort everything I’ve said since my wife’s death, I see no point in even trying.”  Say, maybe he is a modern journalist.  

Ferris suggests the trial was rushed through, that the victim’s brother was kept from testifying, and that Marlin killed his wife in cold blood for family money that was in her name.  Marlin socks him in the jaw, and it is one of the best screen punches I’ve ever seen.

Marlin takes his lawyer’s advice to get out of town.  He takes a bus, so I guess that family money has not come through yet.  He gets a nice 3rd floor walk-up for $6 per night — coincidentally, the current price of that bottle of water in your room that has sat there for five years because no sane human being will pay $6 for a bottle of water.  Don’t think so?  Ever seen an expiration date on a bottle of water?

That night, Marlin sees a vision in the mirror of a man with an awesome, awesome moustache firing a pistol.  He seems very unnerved by this.  And, regardless of who the man was, and whether he had a gun or a so-so moustache, who wouldn’t be?

He goes to a nearby bar and downs a few shots.  The man from his vision enters.  Strangely, the man asks the bartender for change for the cigarette machine, and hands the bartender change for the change.  This is further emphasized when tries to pay for his scotch with giant bills that have Sauron’s picture on them.  The man apologizes about the currency and says he just got off the plane from New Zealand.  Overhearing about the NZ money, Marlin realizes this is his wife’s brother, Roger!The man thinks he recognizes Marlin and pulls out a photo. [3] He approaches Marlin, who panics and runs out of the bar.  He goes back to his room and discovers his brother-in-law’s luggage there, including a Luger.  

The man returns to Marlin’s room and confronts him.  Marlin is so panicky and sweaty that the man has to be pretty dense not to see what is going on.  Marlin says everyone thinks he killed his wife.  He accuses Roger of coming there to kill him.  And, frankly, that is what the vision showed him.

Marlin breaks down completely.  Drenched in sweat, he admits he killed his wife for her money.  Then he shoots Roger with his own Luger.  Turns out Roger brought a letter that the late Mrs. Marlin had written to him.  She said she had never been happier.  She even planned to transfer her wealth to her husband’s name to show her love.

Well, this one was a mess.  Ross Martin was excellent as the panicky Marlin, but the pieces just don’t come together.  I can’t remember an OSB where the vision turned out to be wrong.  Usually the blast from the past breaks through to our reality to restore harmony or mete out some justice.  In this case, it just got an innocent man killed.

I guess this is supposed to be like The Twilight Zone where a little cosmic justice is beaten into a bad guy.  In this case, Marlin finally admitted he killed his wife.  So he will be punished for his evil act!  One problem in this scenario:  the only person who heard his confession is dead.  All Marlin has to do is get rid of the body.  

Other Stuff:

  • [1]  A more accurate reference would have been OJ’s stooge Robert Kardashian, but who wants to bring that family into it?
  • [2]  At least, that was my takeaway from reading a couple of the books (before realizing they don’t live up to the dames on the covers).  He always seemed to throw in some extra knives or whatever to obfuscate the evidence.  I never saw the TV show, but I assume he was more ethical there.
  • [3] THIS is the picture Roger carries around with him?  It’s from a newspaper, so maybe that wasn’t the first time he decked that reporter.  But why was the story printed in New Zealand?

One Step Beyond – The Captain’s Guests (05/26/59)

Posted on by
2

Andrew takes his wife Ellen to a house that he has his heart set on renting.  It’s just what he has been wanting . . . 200 years old, on the water.  He doesn’t even know if it is for rent, but has no reservation about trying the front door — locked!  Realizing his error in judgment, he tries a window instead.  Yep, they climb right in.

All of the furniture is covered with sheets.  Ellen notices a portrait of Captain Michael Klaussen (1860-1902).  Andrew is momentarily hypnotized by the picture.  He snaps out of it and tells Ellen they have to rent this place!

They go to a real estate office, but the agent doesn’t want to rent it to them.  He quotes a price of $500/mo ($4,500 today) to discourage them.  Andrew says he is a pretty good architect and knows that figure is ridiculous.  Then he rents it.  That’ll show him.

They go back to the house and start looking around.  Ellen opens some trunks and gets a peek at the Captain’s Log (hee-hee).  Andrew goes into a light trance and says, “Get away from there” and “you have no right to look” and “ignore that scrimshaw of me junk — it must be the salt water.”  Ellen is concerned, but Andrew snaps out of it and doesn’t remember the incident.

Later, Ellen finds the diary of Elsbeth Klaussen.   It mentions that Michael has gone hunting.  Another day he is working in the field and his bad leg starts causing him to limp.   He has also been showing signs of being jealous of his old friend Gideon.

Andrew grabs her — literally — he is kind of a grabby guy. [1]  He wants to explore the rest of the house.  As they are coming down the stairs, Andrew suddenly gets a stabbing pain in his leg.  The next day, he is badly limping.

He becomes abusive to Ellen.  He even accuses her of having an affair with his business partner Bill.  During his ranting, he calls her Elsbeth.  Ellen wants to move out, but Andrew insists they will stay.

Ellen goes to see the Real Estate agent.  He tells her the house was built by Klaussen’s father in 1801, meaning Mr. Big Shot architect was off by 40 years.   Wait, let’s say Klaussen Sr was 30 when he built the house.  That means he was almost 90 when Klaussen Jr was born in 1860.  Way to go, Klaussen Sr!

Sadly, Klaussen Jr. was a slave-driver. Well, not literally a slave-driver, because slavery was over.  So relative to an actual slave-driver, he was a pretty good guy.  But he was still cruel to his crew and was responsible for some of their deaths.  Finally the men mutinied and keel-hauled [3] him, nearly scraping off his right leg.  He came to resent his wife as limp men often do, and strangled her.

Ellen calls Bill to come talk some sense into Andrew.  She tells him Andrew has started hunting rabbits in the yard.   He has also taken to drawing ships at his drafting table, and flies at the dinner table. [2]  Andrew limps in and begins yelling at Bill.  He accuses Bill of coming here to “consort” with Ellen, calling him Gideon.  Before we are treated to an accusation of “fornication”, Andrew points the gun at Bill.  Bill, understandably, leaves.

Andrew pushes Ellen around pretty violently, then begins strangling her.   A knocked over lamp catches the picture on fire and Andrew runs to it.  His hair is now thick and white like the Captain’s.  Andrew screams and collapses.  As the picture burns, he returns to normal.

A pretty flimsy episode.  That must be why John Newland’s introduction was interminable.  The story was also undermined by Andrew being a pushy jerk even before being possessed by the Captain.  Maybe unfair, but the presence of Robert Webber (Andrew) pretty much dooms an episode for me.

I rate it 2 bells.

Other Stuff:

  • Finally, another OSB episode set in the USA!  Current tally:  9 USA episodes out of 18.
  • Title Analysis:  Why are they referred to as guests?  They were not invited, and they are not welcome.
  • Dramatisation [sic] credit to Charles Beaumont from whom I expect better.
  • [1]  Everyone in this episode seems unusually grabby.  Even Bill had his hands on Ellen enough to make me wonder if they really were having an affair.
  • [2]  Ya think there was a lot of bathing on 19th century ships?
  • [3]  Who came up with keel-hauling?  Hey, I have an idea, let’s drag the Captain under the ship!  First, we need about 500 feet of precious rope that will be damaged.  Then someone has to swim under the ship in sea monster infested waters to loop the rope around.  Me?  No, it was my idea.  Then we tie him to each end of the rope.  We have to measure perfectly to give it enough slack to go around the ship, but it will have to be taut enough to pull him against the barnacled hull.  Question, Jenkins?  Well, I suppose he could be naked, but that’s not really the point.  Put away your scrimshaw tools.
  • [3]  After 30 seconds research, turns out it wasn’t done like that.  Also it might never have happened on English or American ships.  Those crazy Dutchmen are a different story.

One Step Beyond – Image of Death (05/19/59)

Posted on by
3

First things first.  This is the 10th episode out of 18 to be set outside of America.  I guess they have to go wherever these “true” stories take them.  This week it is a Chateau in the Rhone Valley.  Still no paranormal activity in Africa or Asia.

A respectful length of time after his wife’s death (1 commercial break) Marquis Jacques de la Roget is married to Charlotte.  She was just a girl from the village, but is clearly pleased with her new wealth and power and indoor plumbing.  The new couple is barely through the door before she is ordering the butler Ernest to get her some strawberries, “A lot!  A big plate!” [1]

She complains that the furniture is old, but Jacques says it is antique.  Expect a lot of that sort of thing when you marry into the Roget family.

Charlotte is disturbed by the life-sized portrait of Jacques’ late wife Jeanette that overlooks the room.  She callously says, “Am I going to have to look at that 24 hours a day?”  Kudos to Jacques for showing that legendary French backbone and saying, “Yes”.  He reminds her that she had liked Jeanette.  But it turns out, they were not friends.  Charlotte was merely a nurse and companion during Jeanette’s last days.  She made sure that the weak Jeanette ate every spoonful of her meals.

Jacques snaps at Charlotte’s callousness, but she counters, “How you have changed from the impatient lover who complained so bitterly, ‘Why does it take so long, why does it take so long!'”

So either they were slowly poisoning Jeanette, or Jacques was complaining how long it took Charlotte to have an orgasm.

They are interrupted by Ernest with the strawberries.  Charlotte orders Ernest to take down Jeanette’s portrait.  Jacques shows that actual French backbone and allows Charlotte to have her way.

Some time later, Jacques notices a blotch on the wall.  It is shaped like a small dog or reindeer.  It fades away when he calls Charlotte to see it.  Late that night, Charlotte catches him trying to scrub away the stain, which now looks like a jelly fish.  Jacques believes it looks like a skull.  Clearly, however, I see a vagina with penguins flocking out of it.

The next day, Charlotte is barking orders at Ernest for a big party while being fitted for a fancy gown.  Jacques enters and dismisses the servants.  He is panicking because the stain is looking more like Jeanette.  Jacques wants to lock the room up.  Charlotte says that it is just his conscience torturing him for what they did to Jeanette, and he agrees.

She insists that Jeanette’s portrait be rehung over the stain so she can have her big party.  We do not see the big party, which is the way I like my big parties.  But it leaves Jacques consumed by guilt.  Charlotte offers to make him some hot chocolate, but they both know the score.  Jacques solemnly tells her, “I want it to work quickly, not like Jeanette.”

When Charlotte brings him the hot chocolate, he shows her how the stain has come to look just like Jeanette.  Apropos of a French woman, she croaks.  Jacques foolishly fesses up to his role in the shenanigans.  The police inspector insists on seeing the stain.

Now, about that stain.  I’m no nitpicker, but come on.  It starts as the little white dog.  Then it fades to nothing in front of Jacques as if it were supernatural.  Then it comes back as a jellyfish, then a little Jesusy.  The maid can see these because she tries to clean them off.  Then the stain evolves into a screaming face.  When the inspector looks at it, it is the little dog again, except black.  But wait, when it was the white dog, it disappeared completely so is it real or not?  During John Newland’s closing remarks, it looks like someone sneezed against the wall; and that is the family-friendly interpretation.  Just looking for some consistency.

So not a great week.  A nice set and great production values are no match for two annoying leads and a pedestrian story.

Other Stuff:

  • [1] Strawberries!  Pfft!  The most over-rated of fruits.  Sure, they’re good when covered in sugar, but what isn’t?  I suspect most people would prefer banana or peach in their Neapolitan.

One Step Beyond – The Haunted U-Boat (05/12/59)

Posted on by
2

One Step Beyond had a good run of episodes set in the USA — two.  The tally is now 9 out of 17 episodes of this American series being set elsewhere.  This week we are asked to empathize with the crew of a Nazi U-Boat.  Is it too late to get that Hollywood Blacklist back?

U-Boat 147 is docked off the coast of Northern Germany.  Everyone who thought Germany was landlocked, rise your right hand. No, wait, don’t!  They are welcoming aboard Herr Bautmann, an aide to Der Fuhrer.  He is played by Werner Klemperer, Klink from Hogan’s Heroes.  In less than one minute, the words Hauptmann, Captain and Kapitan are all used.  Thus the TV precedent is established for Sgt. Schultz’s ein, zwei, three, four style of speaking. [2]  

As Bautmann is boarding, the sub is strafed and bombed.  The plane’s crew should be embarrassed that, with no defensive fire, they did not kill any Nazi’s or damage the sub.  The SFX crew should be embarrassed that the strings on the model plane are clearly visible. [1]  They submerge, but hear a clanging on the hull.  Fearful that they have left a man or bottle of schnapps on deck, the Captain wants to resurface, but Bautmann orders him not to.  Strangely, the entire crew is accounted for.

Bautmann takes a nap, but is awakened by the crew singing.  He is not mad, though.  He is cheered by the vitality of the young Aryan men on board.  He joins them with a bottle of cognac.  The clanging starts again and he nervously drops the bottle.  He runs to the captain and demands to know what the sound is.  He gets increasingly frantic and accuses the crew of doing this to “shake his nerves” and rattle his brain.

Goodness, gracious, great balls of fire!

The captain surfaces and the crew begins searching again for the source of the banging.  Bautmann is snoozing outside on the conning tower.  Word has come over the radio that Hitler has killed himself.  Bautmann is furious that someone has made up this lie to make him crazy.  He takes the radio and reports to the crew that Hitler died as a hero, leading his troops into battle.  Imagining that little uni-testicled asshole doing such a thing will be the best laugh you have in the next 5 minutes (admittedly a low bar).

The captain gets word that a ship is approaching, and orders the sub to dive.  Bautmann is furious that he won’t stay surfaced and find that clanging.  In observation of Axis Diversity Day, a crewman uses a karate chop to shut him up.

While the sub is pursued by the ship, Bautmann wakes up in his bunk.  He runs to the bridge shouting, “I can’t breathe!”  Then the clanging begins again.  He cries like [NAME REDACTED] [3] for the pounding to stop.  He finally passes out and the noise also stops.  The captain then realizes that they only hear the clanging when Bautmann is awake.

As depth charges explode around them, the Captain decides to surface and surrender.  Hitler is dead, the war is over, and he has no clean turtlenecks left, so what is the point?

Klempererer really chewed the bulkheads as he played Bautmann going insane.    The story didn’t quite gel, though.  Why did this phenomenon attach itself to him?  Sure, he’s a Nazi, but look around — they’re all Nazis!  Don’t forget that!  I guess we are to assume that he was an especially bad egg because he served so close to Hitler.  Then why was it audible to everyone, unlike the Tell-Tale Heart which was clearly an inspiration?  It was clearly directed at Bautmann since it occurred only during his waking hours.  

I guess that doesn’t really matter, and they only had 25 minutes to cram the story into.  On a note so routinely positive that it is getting boring — this show again looks fabulous!  The model at the beginning is only jarring because it is cut in with much other actual footage.  Kudos also on the submarine set.  It felt very accurate to me — to this day, I remember the layout, the claustrophobia, the smell of my countrymen packed in.  I must admit, I spent time aboard a German U-Boat during the war. [4]  

Disturbing banging on naval vessels became a regular trope.  We saw it on The Twilight Zone in the 1960’s.  Then in the 1970’s with these guys.

John Newland sez, “Next week we travel to the chateau country of France.”  Sacre bleu!

Other Stuff:

  • [1]  No points deducted for that.  It is really only an issue because it was preceded by so many great inserts of actual war footage.  Besides, seeing a model is kind of charming vs the CGI we are used to.
  • [2]  Bautmann is a civilian.  If he were a captain, he would be Hauptmann Bautmann.  That’s almost the Nazi equivalent of Major Major, but not as funny.  Whaddya want, they’re f***ing Nazis.
  • [3]  Nope, not here either.
  • [4]  OK, it was about an hour inside U-505 at the Chicago Museum of Science and Industry during the Gulf War, but isn’t that actually better?