What the?  I have stumbled unwittingly into the second season.  For budgetary reasons, they switched to black & white.  Ya know, it’s easy to make funny jokes at this show’s expense even if there is no evidence of that here.  I bought a book about the series and now have more sympathy for what they were trying to do and the limitations they worked under.

“This is an electrocardiogram,” the narrator tells us while fortuitously showing a picture of an electrocardiogram.  Mechanic Warren Stark is working on a Volkswagen — no wait, he’s a doctor working on a big fat guy lying on his back.  Dr. Stark tells the the patient, Tom Horton, that his EKG looks fine, but that he might want to keep an eye on those brake pads.  And WTF decided the abbreviation for electrocardiogram should be EKG?

Dr. Stark warns Horton that his EKG might look fine, but that is while lying down in a comfortable office.  On his job as a cop, pounding a beat, it might be different.  Then his hatchet-faced wife chimes in, nagging him about retiring.  Although being at home with this shrew is not the Rx for a long life either — his or hers.

The next day there is a massive train derailment.  The District Attorney and head of the State Insurance Company visit Dr. Stark.  They tell Dr. Stark that the engineer was a patient of his.  The man died of a heart attack and caused the massive crash.  The autopsy showed the engineer had a bad heart, yet just a week before Dr. Stark and given him a clean bill of health.

Stark again uses the “in the office” excuse.  He says the engineer’s EKG looked fine in the office but could not possibly reproduce the stressful environment on a train.  After all, the strain of having a union job, a bottomless pension, generous healthcare, and the responsibility of guiding a beast which rides on unmovable steel rails to an inevitable destination simply cannot be duplicated in an office.

Stark gets a call from his wife.  Journalists are saying the train crash was his fault after finding no possible way to blame it on 10 year old Donald Trump.  They say “he passed the engineer without giving him a thorough examination.”  The two men tell Stark that a coroner’s jury will determine his guilt in the deaths of 24 passengers.  He could be charged with “malpractice, criminal negligence or even manslaughter.”  The jury finds him not guilty, but his reputation is shot.

That night, while he is checking the want-ads, his son asks for help with his homework about the weather.  Junior wants to know, “How do they make the forecasts so accurate,” so he is no brainiac either.  Dr. Stark describes how a system of high altitude weather balloons, telemetry, historical data, complex models, and high school graduate celebrities are able predict a blizzard everywhere Al Gore goes to lecture, and 20 out of the last 3 hurricanes.  That gives Dr. Stark an idea.

He wonders if such telemetry could be broadcast from the heart.  He works all night on his idea and presents it to Dr. Tubor ^[1] in the morning.  It would be a radio-EKG broadcasting the titular signals from the heart to a central database.  Stark says they would “have a continual picture of his heart action at all times.  When he’s playing or working or arguing with his wife.  EVERYTHING!”  I don’t know about his patients, but I can hear Mark Zuckerberg’s heart palpitating from here.

The two men work for days to create the transmitters that could broadcast heart data.  Tom Horton stops by for another exam.  They decide to use him as a guinea pig (no police pun intended).  They remotely chart Horton’s EKG for 3 hours without a blip.  Suddenly there is a spike that indicates he is running.  And frankly, the escape of the young thug is the most exciting 10 seconds I’ve ever seen on this series.  Sadly, it is too exciting for Horton and he has a heart attack.

The police are unable to find Horton.  Despite being the world’s oldest uniformed beat cop, they have assigned him a large area of dark alleys.  Stark has the brilliant idea of calling the FCC although I don’t know who he expected to answer after 5 pm.  They are able to find Horton by triangulating in on his signals.  They save Horton and Stark is a hero!

Holy smoke does black & white make a difference!  This was one of the most enjoyable episodes despite a lackluster story.  Not only does the B&W look great, it also provides a comfort level.  The color episodes seemed like they were grasping for something that they just couldn’t reach.  With B&W, you just accept certain limitations because it is unmistakably from another era.

I don’t think anyone in 1956 would have felt the same way.  I’m sure this was seen as a step back.  Another show that show have stayed in black & white:  the 1960’s Lost in Space.  The Netflix remake should have been filmed in black & black so it could not be seen at all.

Footnotes:

• [1] LOL.  Why would they give a character the hilarious name Dr. Tubor.  I think that’s the funniest thing I’ve seen all day.  I know it’s the funniest thing you’ve seen.
• But it’s still better than Toomer.

Truman Bradley:  Heat, cold, sound.  These are only a very few of the problems that will confront modern man as he ventures into space.

Great news Truman, there is no sound in space!  Again I have to wonder, how did anyone on the production not know this?  To their credit, however, they did not once call the titular other side of the moon “the dark side.”

Professor Lawrence Kerston has invented a new kind of camera.  Unfortunately, he is disturbed by the pictures he has taken, and not just the ones at the playground.  He has not left the lab for 2 days, so his wife has come to nag him in the way that women inexplicably think will make a man more likely to go home to them.  Lawrence says he can’t leave because he has called Dr. Schneider, and he’s coming in.

Katherine says, “Not at 3 am he isn’t!”  Perfectly on cue, Schneider walks into the lab.  The tall bald man is wearing an insanely well-tailored suit, a tie, and has the chipper, self-confident attitude of a casually-dressed man at an earlier hour with a full head of hair.  Katherine apologizes for her husband calling him in at that hour.  He says, “A man with 4 grandchildren is used to getting up at the oddest hours.”  Katherine replies, “Well there are no grandchildren in sight, believe me!”  That’s a nice emasculating zinger, but really makes no sense because 1) Schneider is not either of their fathers, and 2) why would his grandchildren be in the lab?

Lawrence shows Schneider the new camera he invented, and the disturbing picture he took with it.  He has a photo of the moon surrounded by a mysterious corona invisible to telescopes.  A spectrographic analysis identified the corona as being radioactive dust with a wedge of lime.  Lawrence concludes, “Something is going on on the other side of the moon — the invisible side.”

They take Lawrence’s photo to the Dean.  He is skeptical of the new camera and photos “that might throw the world into panic.”  The Dean suggests a six month research project before the news of the radioactive cloud is released.  Lawrence decides this is too important, and sells his findings to a magazine; then the danger is broadcast on the radio.  He is fired faster than a professor refusing to call a student zher.

He lounges around home for a few days, still wearing a tie everyday.  Katherine says maybe the Dean is right.  “Maybe a 38 year old Associate Professor shouldn’t act as if he knows more than everyone else.”  That’s the students’ jobs.

Lawrence goes to pack up his things at work.  He decides to takes a few last pictures of the moon since “atmospheric conditions are ideal.”  Although the atmospheric condition of actually being the daytime seems like an impediment to a non-pro photographer like me.  These new photos are even more convincing and disturbing than the first set.  Even Schneider agrees that streaks in the pictures are “man-made” objects.  I think he just means it was fabricated, rather than occurring naturally.  “Man-made” includes aliens; just not alien women. ^[1]

They call Washington and are summoned to a meeting with General Evans.  The Joint Chiefs decide we must go to the moon to see who and what is up there.  Seemingly overnight, a rocket is launched to the moon.  In minutes, it arrives and the ship is sending back pictures.  The scientists are amazed at the clarity of the pictures being transmitted.  As they approach the far side of the moon, one says, “We’re half way there.”  Hunh?  Does he think the moon is 250,000 miles around?  The ship is unmanned; there is no need for it to return.  No idea.

The rocket detects intense radiation on the far side of the moon; until it is destroyed by the radiation.  That’s why we can’t have radioactive things.  They do get enough telemetry to see that there are mountains of toxic nuclear waste on the moon.  The last photos from the rocket show a fleet of ships leaving.

Schneider believes the aliens will not attempt to communicate with us puny earthlings because “they must be highly civilized to do what they do.”  Yeah, like your civilized neighbor who lets his dog shit in your yard.  These aliens can go anywhere in the universe, but they choose to drop their deadly radioactive waste on the moon of the only inhabited planet within a thousand light years.

On the SFT curve, not a bad episode.

Other Stuff:

• [1] SFT made exactly the same dumb comment in Postcard from Barcelona.  As did I.

“This is where our story begins, Washington DC, present day capital of the free world.  Here in the city that never sleeps, scientific decisions are being formulated that will affect not only our lives but our children and their children to come.”

Oh for the love of God, I have things to do today.  Can’t I get through five seconds of this show without pausing it?

1. I’ll be charitable and assume that “present-day” crack was to establish the temporal setting of the episode (this is Sci-Fi, after all), and not giddy gleeful anticipation that the USA will not be #1 forever (this is Hollywood, after all).
2. When was DC ever “the city that never sleeps”?  Sorry SFT, that’s New York City.
3. “not only our lives but our children and their children to come“: “lives” is the subject, so “children” should have been possessive.  Or better, say “the lives of our children . . .” ^[1]

Dr. Joel Kerwin and Mrs. Dr. Joel Kerwin are getting into formal wear to attend a reception with the vice-president.  SFT, much like President Eisenhower, does not mention Nixon’s name.   Kerwin’s boss, Dr. Matthews, calls and asks Kerwin to come to Room 246 to discuss some problems with his new scientific formula.  He suggests their wives should go on ahead.

Dr. Matthews smokin’ hot wife Wilma stops by to pick up Mary.  She tells Wilma that her husband just called and said they should go ahead.  Mary asks, “Didn’t he tell you?”  Wilma says, “No, I haven’t seen him all day.  He’s all wrapped up in a new theory.”  So why did Wilma come to the Kerwins’ room alone?  And if Matthews is staying in Room 246, how did Wilma not see her husband?  Did she get dressed in the hall?

At 12:30, Mary Kerwin returns to their room alone after the reception.  The narrator says, “Mrs. Kerwin was no more than normally annoyed by the fact that her husband did not show up at all.”  Dr. Kerwin is also not in the room.  No wonder he’s avoiding her; the narrator seems to say she has a normal baseline of perpetual annoyance.  I feel your pain, doc.  She assumes the two scientists just lost track of time.

After 3 am, Mary begins to get worried.  She calls Room 246 but there is no answer.  Then she has the operator ring “Tom Matthews’ room.”  OK, so I guess 246 is just a workroom.  Wilma suggests having the house dick look for them.  Here’s an idea, you’re in 312; walk your ass down one floor and knock on the door.

A little later, Dr. Matthews finally comes home — hey, they are in 314, right next door to the Kerwins.  Seconds after he arrives, Agent Randall knocks on his door.  Dr. Kerwin was found murdered in Room 246.  Matthews says the last time he saw Kerwin was at lunch.  He claims he did not make the call that Mary received.

Well, that’s about the first 7 minutes.  The remainder is trying to figure out how various voices were electronically duplicated in phone calls.  Unfortunately, the murder mystery is hardly mind-blowing, and the tech is as about as futuristic as a Las Vegas lounge act.

Footnotes:

• [1] In the light of day, this seems OK and less egregious than my use of the word egregious.

“Some men climb to the top of a mountain simply because it is there; these men are mountain-climbers.  Others because it puts their telescopes closer to the stars they observe; these men are astronomers.”

Is Truman Bradley suggesting the view of Jupiter is better if you are 1,000 feet closer?

Ironically, Seth and Barbara have gone up a mountain to get a better view of Los Angeles below.  These two are past their Lover’s Lane age.  Seth is 30 and looks every bit of it with his Gutfeldian receding hair, jowls, and rumpled suit.  Barbara is a mere 25 — in age, and on a scale of 1 to 10.  They see a Flying Saucer that looks like Gilligan’s hat.

A weirdo in a suit named Mr. Galleon approaches the car.  He says he also saw the hat and asks for a ride down the mountain.

Barbara’s father just happens to be an astronomer.  He asks why, after 30 years of watching the sky through powerful telescopes, he has never seen a flying saucer.  He thinks what they saw was just an optical illusion.

Sitting in a restaurant after a big argument with Barbara’s father, Seth figures they have about $275 between them.

Seth: We could do it on that.

Barbara: Oh, Seth, you mean it?

Seth: We could rent everything we need.

Barbara: We could find a Justice of the Peace.

Seth: A 16 mm movie camera.

Barbara: Sure, and take pictures.

Seth: Sound recording equipment.

Barbara: Sound equipment?

Seth: For a soundtrack.

Barbara: A soundtrack?

Barbara finally realizes that he wants to make a documentary about Flying Saucers rather than film their honeymoon antics (and why did the sound bother her more than the film?  Is she a howler?).  He sees this as a way to “get famous, then move right into television” where he expects to sexually harass a much hotter league of gals. ^[1]

Mr. Galleon enters the restaurant and the couple invites him to join them.  He has been checking the paper to see if the flying saucer was reported.  He tells Seth he admires his open mind.  Seth begins making his documentary.

He films a minister who draws a picture of the flying saucer he saw which looks nothing like the film representation.

An airline pilot convincingly shows what his UFO looked liked by demonstrating how he pointed at it.

An air traffic controller claims in his career he has seen 500 craft of a type never seen before, although most turned out to be on-time Delta arrivals.

An air force major takes a lie detector test to confirm his story of UFOs over Mt. Palomar.  Hey, maybe he knows Bob Richardson!

After a week of editing his road trip into a documentary, Seth screens it for Barbara’s father.  Dr. Arnold finds it “interesting but misleading, more opinion than fact”  and, yet, the feel-good hit of the summer.  Despite the testimony of the trained observers in the film, he convincingly suggests science-based alternate explanations for every case.

“Oh yeah,” counters Seth.  “What about the fireball that Barbara and I saw?”  Dr. Arnold says he can not only explain it, he can reproduce the phenomena.  Seth asks Mr. Galleon to join them for the demonstration, but he can’t make it.  He does however, give Seth a photo that he wishes Dr. Arnold to analyze.

Dr. Arnold’s demonstration is pretty convincing even if, in reality, it doesn’t reach swamp gas authenticity.  Seth is embarrassed that they could have been so wrong.  Dr. Arnold consoles him that even though the conclusions were entirely unsupported, it was a “magnificent” piece of reporting.”  With this on his resume, he is thus encouraged to call his old college buddy Dan Rather about how to break in to network news.

Oh by the way, Seth hands Dr. Arnold the photo that Galleon gave him.  Dr. Arnold checks it with a magnifying glass and is stunned that it is “an authentic photograph of our sun and all its surrounding planets — our solar system.”  He says the photo could only have been taken from another solar system or a spaceship.

Seth calls the hotel where Galleon was staying, but he has checked out.  He left a forwarding address to be given to Dr. Arnold.  The hotel clerk can’t pronounce it, so spells it out C-E-N-T-A-U-R-I-6.  He explains that is the 6th rock in the Alpha Centauri solar system, 4.3 light years away!

OK, it is hardly a nitpick to say a single photo that made the entire solar system visible would have to be about the size of the universe.  If it fit into the photo Dr. Galleon provided, the planets would be smaller than atoms.  It would have been much more credible for the photo to be of the entire earth which would not happen until 1967.

In some ways, this was a companion piece to last week’s Project 44.  Both played with the form a little bit by introducing documentary elements.  In both cases, it made the episodes stand-outs in the series.

This did lead me to a mistake though.  Pat O’Brien (Dr. Arnold) was so terrible that I thought they had recruited another actual scientist to play the role.  He starts out OK, even in that stilted 1950s style, but gets worse as the episode unfolds.  By the end, I was convinced he was drunk or incapacitated by stage-fright.  He had a yuge career even extending 25 more years, so I am baffled.

As always in SFT, the scientist has a smokin’ hot daughter.  Though the show is often quite progressive, she is just eye-candy this time.  Seth is believable as the rumpled reporter.

So, one of the better episodes; but that is one low-ass bar.

Other Stuff:

• [1] Note to Seth — you will never do better.
• Title Analysis:  WTF?

Truman Bradley has a visitor.  Dr. Robert Richardson of Mt. Palomar Observatory has fortuitously dropped by the clubhouse to talk about Mars.  The doc is a real astronomer who actually worked at Mt. Palomar in the 1930s – 1950s.  I am very impressed that SFT gets the distance to Mars correct thanks to Dr. Richardson.  Even the great Twilight Zone could never be bothered to check an almanac or ask a 10 year old boy for accurate space data.  He opines about the atmosphere and life on Mars.  He is sure that, despite physical and mental challenges, men will someday go to Mars.  And by men, rest assured he means both white men and white women.

Truman shows us some of the stress tests astronauts must endure.  Sadly, after the factual opening, I have to call bullshit right away.  I know they test in centrifuges, but it looks like they would just fly right off of this thing.  He also says these men are tested up to 10 G’s (and the meter goes up to 25).  Maybe that’s why the Russkis beat us into space; we killed all our astronauts.

Dr. Arnold Bryan was one of the men on the centrifuge.  His fiance Dr. Janice Morgan is not happy about the risks he takes.  He tells her that is the last time because he has resigned.  However, he gets a telegram that he must be in Washington on Wednesday for a conference.

The conference room in DC is so close to the capitol dome that it must be on top of the senate.  SecDef Sturgis explains that a new fuel has been developed that will enable a man to go to Mars and return.  He is given one year to determine whether humans can survive in space.  If it is possible, Arnold will select and train the crew.  Janice is not thrilled about this.  However, Arnold explains how important it is and offers her a job evaluating the volunteers.

After several months, the project staff is whittled down to eight people with experience in various scientific disciplines.  Arnold tells them of the problems that might be encountered in space: the monotony and utter isolation.  According to Arnold, the trip will take two and a half years.  That is 8 months to get there, and 8 months to return, leaving 15 months to work on Mars.  I hope one of this group is a mathematician.  8 + 8 + 15 = 30?  Is that one of them hidden figures I’ve been hearing about?

He frankly tells the group of other dangers.  He name-checks Fred Whipple, another real astronomer, who estimates they would encounter only one meteor every 6 years.  So the odds sound pretty good.  They would sound better if he knew the difference between a meteor and a meteoroid.

One of the four women raises her hand.  “I’m almost afraid to ask this, but are we women just being included in the test or do we get to go to Mars too?”  Arnold assures them that if they pass the test they will go to Mars, prompting several sighs of relief; mostly from the four men.

Arnold is very progressive.  He points out that women are at least as able to work in different pressures, and “women adjust themselves better to drastic temperature changes.”  These tests were clearly not run any any freakin’ office I ever worked in.

Arnold reminds the volunteers that they have signed a contract to remain single.  However, the government is now encouraging them to pair off with other members of the mission.  Joyce has looked uncomfortable with this whole presentation, but this is just too much.  She says, “This project is insane, completely insane!”  She implores them — the group she recruited — not to throw their lives away.  “You won’t be heroes, you’ll be fools and lunatics!”  The volunteers stand by Dr. Arnold, and Joyce storms out.

The group is put into a small cabin to simulate the close quarters of space travel.  They quickly begin getting on each other’s nerves. They are subjected to other tests of physical stress and endurance.  Sadly, one of the women drops out, and one of the men is thrown out for sabotaging the tests.  The crew is not shorthanded, though, as Joyce returns and she and Arnold take their places.  The final shot is them blasting off to Mars.  It ain’t a train going into a tunnel, but this was 1955.

The domestic drama is the only problem with this episode.  When it stuck to the recruiting and training for the mission, it is pretty good (grading on massive curve as always).  In fact the stress tests seen here are no crazier than what would eventually happen at NASA (the clip from The Right Stuff is not available).  I can imagine a kid in the fifties digging this.