The redundantly-named Poll-O-Meter was invented to detect what people are watching on TV, presumably for tax purposes because everything is for tax purposes.  Specially designed vans collect this data as they drive through communities. ^[6]

That is, “Until the morning of June 20th when the Poll-O-Meter gave a result which was apparently contrary to reason and possibility” and not just finding a viewer of HBO’s Girls. ^[3]  Dr. Jim Wallaby was called in to explain the results and so people could make fun of his name.

As they drive, the POM efficiently detects the viewing in each house.  All is well until one house is determined to be watching channel 84, which was never assigned by the FCC. ^[1] You might ask then why there is even an 84 on their dial?  Well, I’d like to know why my Toyota’s speedometer goes to 160 MPH. ^[5]

They go into the house to be sure nothing is escaping taxation.  In a rare departure for this series, there is actually a funny scene.  The woman who lives on the first floor is a motormouth.  She enthusiastically answers Wallaby’s questions even though her TV won’t be delivered until tomorrow.  Her upstairs tenant, Mr. Rohrbach, says he was watching channel 9.  As Wallaby leaves, the woman amusingly continues babbling about the mahogany-cased TV she does not have yet. ^[2]

That night, Wallaby is still trying to figure out how he was getting a signal from Channel 84.  His beautiful girlfriend has an idea:  Go back and see what was being transmitted on Channel 84.  Wallaby, the driver, a camera-man, and the cute girl crowd into the micro-bus.  The result is not what I usually see from this scenario online.  They report the phenomena to the FCC.  Wallaby describes the transmission as “a scrambled alphabet”, although there are clearly words on the screen.  To be fair, I guess he was technically correct.

We see Rohrbach setting up equipment in his apartment.  He begins scanning a page from the encyclopedia, which is how I went to sleep when I was a kid.

Back in the office, the bus gang is reading a printout of the “scrambled alphabet”.  Wallaby says it was a “brain breaker” to crack the code which, as far as I can see, was mostly inserting spaces between words.

Wallaby is visited by a man from the government.  He says he works “for the agency that investigates UFO”.  Singular.  He repeats, “UFO, Unidentified Flying Objects.”  So I guess the O used to include the S.  Since this was filmed before the Bill of Rights — hey, my public school education pays off again — they go back to search Rohrbach’s apartment.

Rohrbach returns, but isn’t too upset by Wallaby’s intrusion.  The conversation turns to Einstein and E = MC² , as it frequently does during a home invasion.  Rohrbach says it is not only possible to send TV pictures via energy, but also objects and people.  When Wallaby returns to the Van, they take another look at the Channel 84 transmission.  They see Rohrbach teleporting out, Star Trek style.

The UFO man suggests Rohrbach was an alien scanning the encyclopedia to transmit back to his superiors as a report on Earth, which seems like cheating.  I guess that’s why he didn’t just simply teleport the whole encyclopedia.  Sure, he would have gotten the gold gilded pages and rich Corinthian binding, but he would have been nailed as a plagiarist like a certain scumbag president in Volume B.

This is the last episode of Science Fiction Theatre.  It was a paradoxical sci-fi series because the first season embraced the new technology of color broadcasting, then it reverted to lower tech B&W in season 2.  B&W was really a better fit because it lowered your expectations of a well-written and competently acted show.  On the other hand, after 60 years of color TV, we now know that color is not a sign of quality.

The series never aired on a major network or NBC — it was syndicated.  I’m not sure what the air date stated on IMDb means then, but it would have had stiff competition that night from Rin Tin Tin, Flicka, and Coke Time with Eddie Fischer (apparently guest starring his daughter Carrie this week).  Woohoo!

Other Stuff:

• [1]  For kidz reading this, TVs used to have a VHF dial for Channels 2 – 13 and a UHF dial for Channels 14 – 83.  They also had a knob for Brightness, but it didn’t make the shows any smarter (Gallagher, circa 1985).
• [2]  This episode was directed by Eddie Davis who directed the series’ best episode, Sun Gold.  He also directed Killer Tree which contained the exact same chatty woman gag.  It was such an unexpected bit of humor and characterization that I Iaughed both times.
• [3]  A better reference would have been HBO’s Arliss, but so few people remember it despite running 7 seasons, that it is a little too good of a reference.
• [5]  Done because engineers want the actual top speed to be in the high-visibility 10:00 to 2:00 territory.  In supermarket parlance, this was formerly known as the Bud Light Shelf Display Zone.
• [6]  As was actually done when the BBC used Detector Vans to see who was watching Masterpiece Theater without a license.  They soon found it cheaper and more accurate to scan for the sound of snoring.