Black Cadillac (2003) — Very effective mash-up of Duel and Joy Ride. How is it possible I never heard of it? Tubi.
Jurassic World Dominion (2022) — Not nearly as bad as expected. However, Bryce Dallas Howard remains a voracious black hole of charisma and talent. She has a Jack Blackian ability to diminish any film she is in. How does she keep . . . oh, yeah. Peacock.
Jaws 3D (1975) — Well, not Jaws 3D, but Jaws 1 in 3D. Already perfect, so impossible to make better with 3D. The 3D wasn’t working throughout the previews and first 5 minutes of the film — the image was fuzzy and doubled with or without the glasses. I guess the sheeple would have watched the whole movie like this if I hadn’t finally gone and told the manager they screwed up the projection. The word “hero” gets thrown around a lot these days, but . . .
Who Invited Them (2022) — Couple crashes a party, then just won’t leave. Suspenseful and uncomfortable, although not as bad as the time a friend in college inexplicably insisted on finishing midnight movie Lord Jim (154 minutes) in my dorm room. Shudder.
Storm of the Century (1999) — Great post-cocaine, pre-Kool-Aid Stephen King joint about the devil in a blizzard. This month’s Drinking Game: Take a shot every time a colorful New England character calls another by his full name. Michael Anderson! Robbie Beals! Jesus Christ ! Hulu.
Stepbrothers (2008) — I’m probably the only person who watches this for Mary Steenburgen. TNT.
Mr. Hobbs Takes a Vacation (1962) — Mildly amusing joint where Jimmy Stewart takes his family to a beach house. Not as cringingly unfunny as I expect comedies from that era to be. One trick to enjoying old movies: Imagine how bad it would be today remade with Seth Rogan. Criterion.
The Wrong Car aka Vehicle for Revenge aka Black Car (2016) — A woman is sexually assaulted but does not buy an armory of weapons, does not train in the martial arts, and does not methodically murder every dude with a screen credit . . . she sets her rapist up in a sting for police to nab him. What a waste. Tubi.
12 Feet Deep (2017) — Two girls are trapped under a fiberglass cover at a pubic pool. Kudos for not making the gimmick do all the heavy lifting. There is another dimension that turns this into an effective thriller. Amazon.
The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra (2001) — Auto-played after I fell asleep during another movie and I thought I was dreaming. Campy B&W homage to bad 1950’s sci-fi with a paper mache monster, a cardboard rocket, amateurish acting, and over-the-top stilted dialog. Awesome! Tubi.
Isolated aka O9en Up (2022) — Woman trapped in a single room for most of the movie. Well shot and compelling, however. KateLynn E. Newberry is beautiful and gives the best performance I’ve seen this year. She has 13 movies on IMDb for 2022 so maybe Hollywood is wising up. Shright! Tubi.
Speak No Evil (2022) — Another Scandinavian joint that moves at a glacier’s pace. Literally 80 minutes of a slow burn before the lutefisk hits the fan. New Phrase of the Month: Slow Bern (even though this is from Denmark). Shudder.
Barbarian (2022) — And you thought Detroit was scary above the ground. When it’s good, it’s great. The 3rd act has some questionable leaps — literally. Theater.
The Seed (2022) — While watching, I kept thinking the parts were greater than the sum. In retrospect, though, I only remember the good stuff. So, Kudos! Just the very last shot was torpedoed by shockingly wrong-headed foreshadowing. Shudder.
Destry Rides Again (1939) — Maybe unfair to judge since viewing was interrupted for 3 days by Hurricane Ian. Gotta say, though, I just don’t get Marlene Dietrich. Criterion.