Air (2023) — Nike risks their entire budget on one player: Michael Jordan. Air film producers risk their entire budget by featuring 2 guys who single-handedly wreck almost every movie they’re in: Chris Tucker and Ben Affleck. Luckily, Matt Damon, Jason Bateman, a good script, and a good director (Affleck, where he belongs — behind the camera) pull off a great, fun movie. BTW, I have never seen one single basketball game. Amazon.

Miami Blues (1990) — Pros: Pre-lunatic Alec Baldwin, adorable Jennifer Jason Leigh, and alive Fred Ward. Cons: It tries to make everyone a “Florida Man”, so it gets a little episodic. Still, a fun, colorful crime thriller. Criterion Channel.

The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Season 5 (2023) — Absolutely stunning in every way that matters. Why are movies, especially comedies, so inferior when they have more time and money to work with? Amazon.

Bananas (1971) — One of Woody Allen’s early (i.e. funny) films. The comedy is spotty, but when it hits, if you’re in the right mood, it is laugh out loud funny. Tubi.

The Fast and the Fierce (2017) — I thought this would be a hoot after watching Fast X. It was not a hoot. It was garbage. Peacock.

Fast X aka The Fast and the Furious 10 (2023) — You know exactly what to expect, and they deliver. What more can you ask? Theater.

Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves (2023) — Paramount’s marketing department is worse than Bud Lite’s. They sold this as a hyperkinetic, CGI-laden, brain-dead, LOTR-ish, woke, D&D tie-in, which repulsed me. In reality, it flirts with all those elements, but comes out as a fun, well-acted, action-adventure-comedy. Get these guys working in the MCU, stat! Paramount+.

Martyrs (2008) — Girl escapes from a torture cult, but returns years later with a friend for revenge. Brutal, horrific, nightmarish, French. Martyrs (2015) — Inferior from the first seconds — the girl escapes, but we don’t know how. The camerawork and cinematography are abysmal for the rest of the opening, but do get better. The remake is watered down for American eyes, but is pretty good unless compared to the original. Then you see what could have been; or, I guess, what was. Kudos for the cult leader in the remake reminding me of a certain evil former First Lady. Damn you, Bess Truman! Tubi.

Joe Versus the Volcano (1990) — Just saying “Tom Hanks has 6 months to live and volunteers to be a human sacrifice in the South Pacific” does not do it justice. There is a subdued wackiness from its Brazilesque beginning to its rom-com ending. This is what Tom Hanks was born to do, not play some stiff in The Post. Tubi.

Stripes (1981) — Great movie, but be honest: Bill Murray has not had a major role in a great movie since Kingpin 30 years ago. Kudos for judicious use of the F-bomb — yet another skill Hollywood has lost. AMC+.

Branded to Kill aka Koroshi no Rakuin (1967) — Imagine if Quentin Tarantino had been born in 1930’s Japan (for our purposes, assume not in Hiroshima or Nagasaki). You will get QT vibes from the cool assassins, sudden violence, iconic music, incongruous animation, and shot composition. However, it also includes the naked Japanese babes that QT’s films sorely lack. Criterion Channel.

The Post (2017) — Some of Hollywood’s most insufferable denizens portray Kennedy enabler Ben Bradlee and his staff at the titular Washington Post as they publish the Pentagon Papers. Gee, the WaPo was really sticking its neck out, publishing this blockbuster information . . . a week after the New York Times famously broke the story. Both investigative powerhouses uncovered the shocking revelation that — get this — LBJ was a lying sack of shit. Pulitzers all around! Maybe some actual journalism years earlier would have avoided the whole thing. It pains me to ask, but why is WaPo the hero and not the NYT? Am I supposed to empathize with rich little old girl Katherine Graham, portrayed by Weinstein pal Meryl Streep, who is facing a — gasp! — IPO at the same time? I just don’t understand why this movie exists. Amazon.

They Call Me Bruce (1982) — This month Criterion has an Asian American 80’s collection which I’m sure includes a lot of boring, snotty, artsy-fartsy films. But they also set aside a little bandwidth for TCMB, a corny comedy starring Korean comedian Johnny Yune. I remember him on the talk shows decades ago, when they were watchable. He always told the same jokes, and they are even recycled again here. Gotta say, though, I kinda enjoyed it. Criterion Channel.

From, Season 1 (2022) — The same strange criticism as I had for Night Sky last year: The women are OK, but they seem to have made an effort to cast the men to be as unlikable as possible. Bingeable so far, but the crew recruited from Lost still don’t know how to have characters share information. Sadly, like the gang at Rabbit Hole, they also wield the F-bomb like an 11 year old boy. Amazon.

The Man from Laramie (1955) — In the last of the Jimmy Stewart westerns in the collection, he continues diversifying his oeuvre. In this fourth film by the same Director in 5 years, he again plays a mild-mannered guy with a violent streak who wears the same hat and rides the same horse. In a stunning departure, Jay C. Flippin does not costar. Way to stretch! Criterion Channel.

The Far Country (1954) — I’m hitting Criterion’s Anthony Mann Directs James Stewart collection pretty hard this month; also, the gin. In 1950, Stewart wanted to shake up his career. So he made these three westerns (as a start) in four years with the same Director, each time portraying a similar mild-mannered everyman with a violent streak, flanked by the amiable Jay C. Flippen in all three, literally wearing the same hat, and riding the same horse every time. Way to mix it up! Who says Hollywood just ran out of ideas? Criterion Channel.

Bend of the River (1952) — Jimmy Stewart is leading a wagon train of 100 settlers to Oregon. They find Portland to be a wretched hive of scum and villainy (watched on May 4th, Star Wars Day). There is a food shortage, anarchy, fights, and an unprosecuted murder while the Jedidiah Soros-funded sheriff does nothing. Thank God those lawless days of Portland are 150 years in the past. Criterion Channel.

Winchester 73 (1950) — The titular Winchester rifle changes hands among Poseidon Adventure’s Shelley Winters as a young beauty, Rock Hudson as a straight Indian, Tony Curtis as a southern soldier, and Jimmy Stewart as an obsessed killer. WTF? Criterion Channel.

The Horserace

Tried to cancel Paramount+ but they gave me 2 free months. Bastards!

Still haven’t made it to the Comcast office to cancel AMC+. Hopefully the lack of content there and on it’s partner Shudder will collapse the network soon so I don’t have to make the trip.