The Scarecrow (1920) and One Week (1920) — More laughs from Buster Keaton in 20 silent minutes each than in a full Seth Rogan film . . . festival. Criterion Channel.
Tulsa King, Season 1 (2022) — Gangster Sylvester Stallone is exiled to Tulsa after spending 25 years in the can. I’m a Stallone fan, but I came away liking him less. Maybe that means it was effective. It is well-done, but suffers by inevitable comparison to The Sopranos. Paramount+.
Goldfinger (1964) — The Best! I’m sure the sensitivity vandals can’t wait to get their erasers on Pussy Galore. Paramount+.
Fair Game (1986) — As Ozploitation flicks not set in a women’s prison go, this is OK: A sheila kills alllll the blokes. Both sides seem a little lackadaisical in their pursuit, but Cassandra Delaney is very watchable. Tubi.
John Wick 4 (2023) — If Hollywood had a shred of integrity, Keanu Reeves would win an Oscar. Sure, he’s the worst living actor since Bill Paxton died, but he puts butts in the seats, is a professional, respects his craft and co-workers, keeps his political expertise to himself, works his ass off for a role, and makes sure you get the top quality action product for your $15. He’s the American Tom Cruise . . . oh, wait. What about Matrix Resurrections, you say? OK, mistakes were made (see The Matrix below). All seriousness aside, the amount of work, care, and talent that went into making this awesome spectacle makes me feel, more than TG Maverick, like this country has a chance. Theater.
Supercop (1992) and Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000) — More winners from Criterion’s “Michelle Yeoh Kicks Ass” Collection. Seriously, that’s what the snooty, hoity-toity Criterion Channel calls it. Imagine if she had replaced Jackie Chan in the Rush Hour movies. Better yet, imagine if she had replaced Chris Tucker. Or if anyone had replaced Chris Tucker, really. Criterion Channel.
2 Lava 2 Lantula (2016) — Oh, yeah, so what great thing were you doing for that 83 minutes? Sequel to the fun Lavalantula. Not helmed by the great Mike Mendez this time, but that’s OK. If you find the title hilarious, this is the flaming, lava-spewing, giant spider sequel for you! Pure goofy fun! Freevee.
The Ice Cream Truck (2017) — What am I watching? One hour in, there is still no sign of a plot. Hot mom moves into a new house with husband and kids to follow soon. OK, the poorly-cast driver of the titular Ice Cream Truck does kill a couple of teenagers, but who hasn’t? It takes a bizarre, unearned turn at the end, but feels more like the proof-of-concept footage you show investors to get more money; not the final product. But on that basis, I might have invested! It looked great, and the two lead actors were excellent. Tubi.
Devotion (2022) — The true story of the first black US Navy Aviator. The racial angle is wisely not overplayed. The rest of the movie — about the Korean War and the titular devotion — is good enough to carry it. Dare I say, better than Top Gun 2. Paramount+.
Significant Other (2022) — Nice couple goes hiking. Man proposes, woman disposes. The first 50 minutes are fine, although slightly marred by Jake Lacey’s innate creepiness that served him so well in Friend of the Family. After a great twist, it takes an abrupt turn to goofiness. The new sci-fi element is fine, but the change in tone is just silly and unnecessary. It does soon recover nicely, but what were they thinking? Paramount +.
Deep Blue Sea (1999) — Thomas “can’t ever quite become a star” Jane and Saffron “WTF wasn’t she a star?” Burrows battle super-intelligent sharks as their undersea lab collapses. The Audience Score of 39 at Rotten Tomatoes is inexplicable. This is great, over-the-top, fun stuff! Even dim-witted Critics gave it a 60. Tubi.
Yes, Madam! (1985) — HKPD Cop Michelle Yeoh and Scotland Yard Detective Cynthia Rothrock battle hammy, cartoonish mobsters in Hong Kong. Royal Warriors (1986) — Sequel to Yes, Madam!, with Michelle Yeoh in non-stop action on planes, trains and automobiles except for trains. Cynthia Rothrock is not on screen this time, but I like to think she’s waiting for Michelle at home in a towel with a nice cup of tea. Magnificent Warriors (1987) — Another Michelle Yeoh sequel. Are they entertaining? I’ve watched 3 this weekend. Don’t hold the Oscar against her. Criterion Channel.
The Consultant, Season 1 (2022) — A mysterious new CEO inserts himself into a tech company. What a tragic waste of a great lead actor (Christoph Waltz), cool sets, and a few good fundamental ideas. A mostly uninteresting supporting cast and a finale more anti-climactic than Season 1 of Heroes killed its potential greatness. Maybe a 2.0 could succeed. Amazon.
Hunted aka Hounded (2022) — I’m always on-board for people-hunted-as-sport movies, but this one had a couple of problems. 1) It did not devolve into my favorite sub-genre: woman killing alllll the men. 2) The titular “hunted” brought this on themselves by committing a home-invasion robbery. So even though they are hunted by snooty, murderous British aristocrats living in castles, wearing red coats, riding horses, and chasing them like foxes, I have to side with hunters. Still, a fine production worth your 94 minutes. Amazon.
The Matrix (1999) — Further proof of my theory that Hollywood has no idea what works — they just get lucky on occasion. The Wachowskis made a good small film called Bound, and used that experience to leverage their way to the big-time. The Matrix is an explosion of creativity, direction, casting, and action. They used everything they learned from this added experience to . . . never make anything great again. OK, there was a great movie in the 2nd Matrix, but it was buried under 30 minutes of bloat. After that, it’s Turtles Speed Racer all the way down. Tubi.
A Few Good Men (1992) — I never really got Demi Moore. Or post-50 Jack Nicholson. But Tom Cruise energizes the movie, Rob Reiner was in the middle of an incredible directorial run (post-Meathead, pre-Shithead), and this was Aaron Sorkin’s first IMDb credit! Great stuff. Special Mention: Kevin Pollack is always welcome. Tubi.
Escape from Alcatraz (1979) — Semi-true story of the only escape from Alcatraz . . . maybe. Stoic, stoney, remote, effective, efficient. Pop quiz: Am I describing Alcatraz, Clint Eastwood, or this movie? Trick Question: All of the above! Classic. AMC+ via QT. **
Star Trek: The Next Generation, Season 3 (1989-1990) — Day 1: Great, I joined Paramount+ and can now rewatch every second of this classic series! Day 3: Gee, I don’t remember this many iffy episodes. Day 5: OK, maybe if I just skip the episodes that feature Deanna’s mother, Worf’s son, any Klingons other than Worf, Data’s “relatives”, and any episode where a crew member falls in love with an alien. Day 7: Hey, where’s the f***ing Borg, already? Sadly, I am finding this classic series, like The X-files, is just not a great rewatch. Still, there are at least 2 stone-cold classic episodes this season (Yesterday’s Enterprise, The Best of Both Worlds I), the only truly funny episode of TNG (Deja Q), and maybe 5 other great episodes. In a modern 13-week season, that would be extraordinary. Paramount+.
The General (1926) — After spending 30 minutes watching the first 5 minutes of Heaven’s Gate, I switched over to this silent classic. Trigger Warning: Buster Keaton plays a Rebel in this Civil War comedy about a stolen train. Enjoy the spectacular battle scenes, unbelievable stunts, and mindboggling 1926 ideas of feminine beauty. Criterion Channel.
The Horserace — NetFlix and Hulu still in streamer jail. Added Paramount to watch Picard Season 3. After being excellent for a couple of years, Amazon has become mediocre in the past year (maybe too much money wasted on discount-LOTR). Ditto Shudder. Tubi and Criterion continue to rule!
Britt Marling — My favorite actress, but where is she? I appreciate that she is selective and often co-writes or produces her work. But it has been 4 years since Netflix stupidly cancelled The OA. An FX mini-series seems to have been in production for years. C’mon, give us something! A commercial, anything!
** The “via QT” label means the movie was suggested (not necessarily recommended) by the great book Cinema Speculation by Quentin Tarantino.