Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny (2023) — I wanted the fanboys to be wrong, but they were not.  Literally every frame is a disappointment.  Not terrible, but so many poor decisions.  However, surprisingly, Phoebe Waller-Bridge is nowhere near the biggest problem.  Theater.

Twins (1988) — You know the story. Ahnold and Danny DeVito are twins. It’s nice spending 100 minutes with the guys, but it just isn’t very funny. Tubi.

Sully (2016) — Tom Hanks takes a lumbering carcass full of diverse, unrelated characters and guides it to a soft landing . . . kind of like Cloud Atlas.  Good stuff perfectly served by Clint Eastwood’s minimalist direction.   Amazon.

Godland aka Vanskabte Land (2022) — What’s the point of having The Criterion Channel if you’re not going to watch a  2 1/2 hour Danish slog about a priest establishing a church in 19th century Iceland once in a while?  Criterion Channel.

Asteroid City (2023) — When you go to a Wes Anderson movie, do you feel obligated to sit in the exact middle of the row?  Sadly, this is a minor effort due to a poor script, overcomplicated structure, and egregious miscasting of some big names. Theater.

Eyes Without a Face aka Les Yeux Sans Visage (1960) — Sacre Bleu, another French horror joint!  Like Them (Ils), the sparse dialogue is mostly superfluous. The stylish story of a doctor who skins beautiful young femmes alive to replace his daughter’s disfigured face could have been a silent film.  Or a musical.  Très bien!  Criterion Channel.

Cold Turkey (1971) — A cigarette company offers $25M to any town that can stop smoking for 30 days. Funny satire with a bevy of recognizable 1960’s & 70’s actors, although I can’t figure out exactly what is being satirized. Kudos for the ending which goes from grim to grimmer. Tubi.

Them aka Ils (2006) — Fine home invasion thriller from the French New Wave of horror. A shockingly brave Frenchman and a stunningly svelte Frenchwoman are terrorized by ‘oodied ‘oodlums. Tubi.

Ready Player One (2018) — Oh, Steven Spielberg, why would you waste your talent on this? Tubi.

The Flash (2023) — I really don’t like Ezra Miller, Ben Affleck, or Michael Shannon. I’m not even that crazy about Michael Keaton. Where was I?  Oh, Keaton won me over, there was a cameo by Gal Gadot, and I liked Sasha Calle as Supergirl. Somehow they put it all together so the 144 minutes raced, er, maybe briskly walked by. Theater.

Jaws (1975) — Had this on while I was doing some paperwork. The scene where Brody says they’re gonna need a bigger boat was approaching, so I gave it my full attention. It is literally a classic scene where Brody is chumming and the shark suddenly appears, causing him to jerk upright in shock and back into the cabin to deliver the line. OK, this was on TNT, so I expected them to censor “shit”. BUT THEY BUTCHERED THE WHOLE F***ING SEQUENCE! The film goes from him chumming, to him jerking straight up . . . WITH NOT ONE FRAME OF THE SHARK! I am baffled how anything this profoundly stupid happens. This was not the work of some woke cultist. Nor was it some puritan — he still says son-of-a-bitch at the end, and there is plenty of blood. Some artless moron just made the decision to cut out the heart of the scene to grab another 5 seconds for ads.  One more sign this country is doomed. TNT (dumbasses!).

Influencer (2022) — A couple of blonde You Tube influencers draw the attention of the only creepy woman to ever vacation alone in Thailand. Clever story with great locations, camerawork, and percussive score. Minor complaint: Should have ended after “You bitch!”. Shudder.

Based on a True Story, Season 1 (2023) — I could not watch Big Bang Theory because of the oppressive laugh track. Also, Kelly Cuoco was painfully unfunny and not particularly attractive. To my shock, she is amazing in this comedic story of true-crime podcasting. It is a fun journey, but a blah ending; like taking a party bus to Golden Corral. Peacock.

River of No Return (1954) — Robert Mitchum takes a raft down the titular river to catch a gambler who wronged him. Also starring the titular Marilyn Monroe. Only “pretty good”, but this and Bus Stop have completely changed my opinion of Marilyn Monroe. Criterion Channel.

Bus Stop (1956) — The story of a rodeo-cowboy who has never been with a woman, portrayed by an actor who has never seen a movie. Don Murray literally screams every line for the first 90 minutes.  Among the deafened: Marilyn Monroe, sporting an accent and a skimpy costume. Criterion Channel.

Broken Arrow (1996) — Air Force pilot steals 2 nuclear missiles, so the Army sends one helicopter to retrieve them. I can see how people would be turned off by Christian Slater’s Jack Nicholson schtick and John Travolta channeling Nicholas Cage, but c’mon people — 54/44 at Rotten Tomatoes? This is the kind of goofy non-stop fun and action that we should encourage from Hollywood. Also, Samantha Mathis is always welcome. FXM.

Now You See Me (2013) — The magic is that they created a fun movie starring the insufferably smug Jessie Eisenberg, the politically chowder-headed Mark Ruffalo, and Isla Fisher who should be selling shoes. They are saved by a snappy pace, Woody Harrelson, and James Franco’s more talented brother Dave.  Morgan Freeman and Michael Caine do what they always do. Tubi.

What’s Up Doc? (1972) — When I tell people a movie starring Ryan O’Neal and Barbra Streisand is one of the funniest ever made, they look at me like I said a movie starring Ryan O’Neal and Barbra Streisand is one of the funniest ever made. But, indeed, it is up there with Airplane!, Kingpin, and the Marx Brothers. And — God help me — Babs is pretty cute in it.  Highest recommendation. Criterion Channel.

The Recordist (2007) — Genresnaps-fave Brit Marling is in the 275th week of post-production on her current project, but this student film by her OA collaborator just showed up online.  It is only 23 minutes and exploits an easy target, but it’s good to see her again. You Tube.

The Horserace

The HOA has opted to no longer pay for Peacock +.  That I have to think over a $2.99 monthly offer, says their business model has problems.  I could get a case of Bud Light!

Brit Marling‘s latest project just got a name-change to  A Murder at the End of the World and an August release date on Hulu.  She is the only one who could make me crawl back.