The Kentucky Fried Movie (1977) — Anthology from the Airplane! guys and director John Landis. Racist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic, with animal cruelty, gratuitous nudity, dead kids, and hilarity. Watch it while you still can. Tubi.

Heartbreak Ridge (1986) — Hard as nails Gunnery Sergeant Clint Eastwood breaks orders and balls to prepare a misfit squad for combat. Great stuff, but the squad is not given enough characterization except for a flamingly gay Tom Villard and an unbelievably obnoxious Mario Van Peebles. Tubi.

It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World (1963) — Maybe the only movie that can never be remade. The cast brings hundreds of years of vaudeville and old Hollywood experience spent honing their on-screen personas. Relative newcomer Jonathan Winters fits right in, though. Younger Dick Shawn is grating, desperate, and unfunny — what the whole cast would be in a remake. Add the director of Judgment at Nuremberg and the star of Bad Day at Black Rock, and you get a comedy classic! Wait, what? Somehow it works awesomely. Tubi.

Knock at the Cabin (2023) — Stranger says you must commit a life-changing act or your world will end. Big deal, my doctor says that every year. Frankly, a little disappointing after hearing for years that the book was so good. Actually, the plot seemed like a better fit for a 1970’s TV movie (and that’s not an insult) than for M. Night. Still, a fine film, and Dave Bautista continues to show real talent beyond Drax (even if a dick IRL). Theater.

The Prestige (2006) — Nikola Tesla teaches a magician the secret of creating insta-clones. Shamefully, in his hubris, he dares to use this awesome, god-like power in the petty earthly endeavor of competing with a fellow magician. Rather than, you know, cloning his hot assistant for a three five-way. Hulu.

Hail the Conquering Hero (1944) — Regarded as maybe Preston Sturges’ best, I found it lacking. Star Eddie Bracken is merely annoying, but his gal Ella Raines is a comedic and charismatic void — a WWII-era Bryce Dallas Howard. William Demerest steals every scene he’s in. Maybe in woke Hollywood, he could have been the love interest. Trivia: 39 years later Bracken played Roy Wally in National Lampoon’s Vacation. Double Trivia: Vacation was released 39 years ago. Criterion Channel.

The Final Countdown (1980) — File under “if the Oscars had a shred of integrity . . .” The USS Nimitz goes back in time to December 1941, but does not sink or even engage the Japanese fleet. WTF? Despite being the biggest cheat in movie history, one of the most entertaining movies ever. You can’t hear a note of the awesome score or see a second of the cheesy but perfect SFX without watching the whole thing again. It showed up on the Tubi recommendation screen and reeled me right in. Bravo! Tubi.

The Negotiator (1998) — Watched mostly because I accidentally subscribed to AMC+ six months ago and can’t figure out how to cancel. Samuel Jackson is a police negotiator framed by his colleagues. After he takes hostages, negotiator Kevin Spacey is called in to talk him down. I wish he could call Comcast for me. Jackson’s bellowing gets tiresome, but you will remember why Spacey was a star. Then why he isn’t. Intelligent and very good! AMC+.

Rabid (2019) — Beautiful fashion designer Laura Vandervoort is disfigured in a motorcycle accident. An experimental stem cell treatment restores her beauty, but kicks off a global epidemic of vampirism, rabies, tentacle murder, and violent roving packs of feral humans killing millions. But, to repeat, she is hot again. Directors Jen & Sylvia Soska owe me as an early supporter of their careers: I bought a DVD of their 2009 debut Dead Hooker in a Trunk. Peacock.

Super (2010) — Kick Ass as performed by The Office’s Dwight Schrute. No really, Rainn Wilson is touched by God and suits up as a mortal superhero. Great combination of serious and funny, real and fantastic, with violence both cathartic and cringey. His Hit Girl is, at that time, Ellen Page. Tubi.

The Arrival (1996) — Critics loved 2016’s Arrival with Amy Adams, but this is the real deal! Charlie Sheen discovers aliens terraforming the earth. An incredibly tight, intelligent sci-fi story with great ideas. performances, and camera-work. Highest recommendation. No, seriously. Tubi.

Any Given Sunday (1999) — Obnoxious Al Pacino coaches obnoxious Jamie Foxx for obnoxious team owner Cameron Diaz. I have not seen a Super Bowl or any other football game for 20 years, but I did like this. Tubi.

The Hunger Games (2012) — Jennifer Lawrence in a, dare I say, Battle Royale. Thanks to early indoctrination by Mad Magazine, she will always be Katpiss to me. AMC+.

Rolling Thunder (1977) — Imagine Death Wish starring William Devane and slow as f***ing molasses. It rates its own chapter in Tarantino’s book, but dang if I can understand why he would have watched it repeatedly as a kid. Sure, 3 minutes of the ultra-violence and free-range 1970’s nudity at the end, but what a slog to get there. Tubi via QT. **

Poker Face, Season 1 (2023) — Human lie-detector Natasha Lyonne solves mysteries while on the run from a Vegas gangster. The gimmick is not overplayed, so the series draws more on the charisma, intelligence, and good heart of its main character. Bravo on every facet of the production! See Hollywood, you can turn out a good product! Peacock.

Lavalantula (2015) — Steve Guttenberg stars as California earthquakes release giant flaming lava spiders. Criterion Channel. Good humor and just plain fun elevate the film far beyond its humble roots. From — of course — the talented director of the similarly transcendent Big Ass Spider. Why oh why didn’t they let this guy direct Ant-Man Quantumania? OK, OK, it was really Freevee.

Breakout (1975) — A jovial Charles Bronson? A tall skinny Randy Quaid? A babe from England named Ireland. WTF? They’re worth the price of admission. Add a prison-break by helicopter and Robert Duvall, and you have a pretty great way to kill 96 minutes. Tubi.

EO (2022) — aka Babe: Ass in the City (no, not the one on Pornhub). A donkey roams through European cities and countryside observing without judgment man’s folly, waste, and violence. Like last month’s Tár, this unlikely, stubborn protagonist is, against all odds, thoroughly hypnotizing. Also, cute as hell. Criterion Channel.

Kolchak: The Night Stalker, Season 1 (1974-1975) — A newspaper journalist tirelessly pursues the truth despite clashing with his editor, stodgy scientific “experts”, and corrupt self-serving politicians. That is the sci-fi part of the show; there are also vampires, werewolves, etc. The fact that Darren McGavin was not showered with Emmys for all one seasons it aired shows what a farce Hollywood awards are. Peacock.

Casino (1995) — When this came out I thought, yet another freakin’ mafia film from Scorcese! Give it a rest! In reality, this was only his second. It’s just that Goodfellas covered the ground so well there was nothing left to say; certainly not 3 hours worth. But that 1st hour is very good! Peacock.

Cocaine Bear (2023) — Again I ask Hollywood, after 100+ years of practice, why aren’t all movies this thoroughly entertaining? Laughs, shocks, suspense, surprisingly three-dimensional characters, violence, no politics. Highest recommendation. Theater.

The Horserace: Netflix is still banished. Hulu got the woke-axe this month. Criterion and Tubi continue to be awesome. Amazon Prime / Freevee is a keeper. Peacock is good but needs more content. AMC+ is totally disposable, but I am apparently going to have to go to the Comcast office to cancel the bloody thing. At least it is bundled with Shudder, but that is available elsewhere. I hear good things about Picard S3, so Paramount+ will probably be onboarded soon.

January movies

** The “via QT” label means the movie was suggested (not necessarily recommended) by the great book Cinema Speculation by Quentin Tarantino.