A reel-to-reel tape tells us, “The following is a true and full account and hereby sworn by me, Paul Brett, Attorney at Law.” Dang, you had me right up til that last part. The tape continues on, leading into a flashback . . .
Mrs. Cannon-Hughes comes to Brett’s office and tells him she knows of a murder that was committed. He agrees consulting a lawyer is a prudent move and bills her four hours. She begins her story, leading us into the rarely seen flashback within a flashback. Or is it three-deep, with the tape being the first flashback, Mrs. C-H being the second, and her recollection being the third? This is why Inception didn’t win the Oscar vote . . . or did it?
Miss Cannon is a live-in nurse to the elderly Mrs. Hughes. We join the story just as Mrs. Hughes croaks from natural causes (“natural causes” on Alfred Hitchcock Presents = MURDER!). Mr. Hughes keeps her on the payroll until the funeral, then gives her a severance check. It isn’t long, however, before Mr. Hughes gives her a call.
She puts on her white uniform, white shoes and white cap and goes to casa de Hughes. When she gets there, she finds this was just a ruse to get her to go to a concert with him. She eagerly accepts. Things progress quickly through the concert phase, dinner phase, driving to the airport phase, and now he is helping her paint her living room. After a few horizontal strokes of latex — has this guy ever picked up a paint brush before? — he asks her to go away with him. Soon they are married.
Once back from the honeymoon, she feels Mr. Hughes has become “distant, hard to reach”, perhaps fearing another room needs painting. He refuses to let her see her old friends.
One night, she notices he is not in bed. She gets up to look for him, but he sleepwalks into the bedroom. He mutters, “Here, drink this and go back to sleep. I know you took some earlier, but this is doctor’s orders.” He goes through the motions as if giving medicine to his dead wife. So we have a ultra-rare sighting of a flashback within a flashback within a flashback. Or is it . . . nevermind, it’s getting late.
She tells Brett that she suspects murder because he never should have given his wife that medicine; that was her job. Brett suggests that maybe their marriage is an insurance policy — Hughes married her just in case there were questions, and a wife can’t testify against her husband in TV court [1]. She says that if he knew she saw him sleepwalking he would kill her!
I’ll say this for AHP, they get right to it — the next shot is at her funeral with Brett in attendance. Zing! It is staged so that it is impossible to see until the end — this is Mr. Hughes funeral, not hers. Kudos!
On the reel-to-reel, Brett tells us the coroner has ruled Mr. Hughes’ death a suicide. This leaves the new Mrs. Hughes very rich; she asks Brett to help settle the estate. Before long he is touching her hand. Soon he will be making some horizontal strokes of his own; coincidentally, also in latex. [2]
One night after they are married, his wife is having a nightmare. She says, “Drink this, Mrs. Hughes. Have another dose. Mrs. Hughes, I know you took some earlier, but you have to have another dose. Drink it.”
Brett continues on the tape stating that he believes she committed two murders and would kill him if she suspected he was on to her. That is very perceptive as we see him lying dead on the floor as the tape plays. His wife washes the glass that contained the poison, and tosses the tape into the fireplace.
Hitchcock returns for his usual closing remarks. Or was this whole episode a flashback by him? And was that framed in a flashback to 1959 by Hulu? And am I flashing back in recalling it now? And will you flashback as you remember reading this in a few days? Probably a “no” on that last one.
Good stuff.
Post-Post:
- [1] This doesn’t make much sense. How would spousal abuse ever get prosecuted? Or maybe it didn’t in the 1950’s.
- [2] Just an assumption on my part on his part.
- AHP Deathwatch: No survivors.
- Mrs. Cannon-Hughes-Brett gets no first name, but three last names [UPDATE below].
- For a more in-depth look at the episode and its source material, check out bare*bonez e-zine. Jack says Miss Cannon’s first name is Mabel in the original story and Maureen on AHP. I was going by IMDb, which is on thin ice with me anyway after deleting the IMDb Message Boards — now how will I know the worst movie ever?
- Miss Cannon has a roommate well-played by Marlon Brando’s sister. If you grew up with Marlon Brando, could rooming with a serial killer be any crazier?
- There is a strange opening vignette where a cute nurse is taking Hitchcock’s blood pressure. He is lying on a table with a sheet over him. As he ogles her pumping the device, a bulge emerges from his mid-section. This really was a different time.
This segment begins by setting up a story that never arrives. Norma Lewis (Mare Winningham) is such an insufferable shrew that you have to think that characteristic must be of some great importance to the plot.
The next night, Mr. Stewart comes to the apartment and explains to Norma how the device works. If the button is pushed, someone she does not know will die, and she will receive $200,000. When Arthur gets home from work, she gives him the 4-1-1 through a constant sneer and cigarette smoke.
Of course Norma is going to push the button. She is low-life trash and her husband is too whipped to stop her. They take a long time to get there, but there is never any doubt. Imagine if this had been a classy couple; maybe moderately well off but just suffered some big financial loss. Or a preacher who sees only the immediate good the money could do for people around him. Or a parolee who is struggling to be a better person. Or a dying man who wants to provide for his family. There would have been some tension then.
Professor Joseph Fitzgerald wraps up his Wednesday Harvard Economics lecture by saying. “We’ll pick this up on Monday.” So the Harvard Economics class-week is only 3 days? That would explain a lot. I know the day of the week because it is 
Fitzgerald transports 3,000 miles to Dealy Plaza just as Kennedy’s motorcade makes the turn. I guess he transported ahead a day to the 22nd also, but that isn’t mentioned. He raises a camera that puts Abraham Zapruder’s to shame and films the cars. He pans up the schoolbook 
I know, you’re thinking he is strange because he went into proctology. Those guys must have hookers in their booth at doctor career day. But no.
Lorenz tells them he has mastered communication with our Apian-American friends. Garner tells Lorenz, “The whole world will be grateful when news of your discovery is made public. With the facilities of a big pharmaceutical company, production can be stepped up. Every man, woman and child will have access to your curative.” Let’s do the math . . . some bees, they make the honey. $750 a pop sounds about right.
Now this is how you start an episode! A helicopter comes in low over a snowy landscape, approaching a small government (?) installation. Just like 
Some time later, Eiger contacts Ben by video phone and has him test the equipment. There is a retinal scanner and palm print analyzer so that none of the other zero people welded into the top-secret, 2-mile deep bunker at the South Pole will try to destroy the earth. But better safe than sorry — however, it might have been a morale-builder to assign him a code name more optimistic than DeadMan1. Even more depressing, the scanner says, “Authorized: Dead Man” confirming his likely fate and not even getting his code name right.
Day 70