Bernard Seldon has crippling fears and anxiety. He is also haunted by visions of fires and demons. Father Wilkes from his old orphanage even returns in his dreams to taunt him and peek at his Underoos.
The next morning, Bernard leaves his apartment and his mind reels at the sights and sounds. He is terrified at the open space, the strangers, vehicles zooming past, the honking, the loud noises — wait, are they saying this isn’t a normal reaction? After imagining Wilkes pursuing him down the street, Bernard seeks the clean, peaceful refuge of a city bus, which tells you how scary Father Wilkes must be.
Dr. Pike of the Osgood Psychiatric Clinic tells us that Bernard “suffered a trauma at age 6 from which he never recovered. In the midst of a raging tantrum, he started a fire in his orphanage which resulted in the death of his 4 year old sister.” Pike has never seen a patient so crippled by his phobias. Like all Outer Limits doctors, Pike has a theory.
They strap the terrified Bernard into a chair to perform the first procedure. For some reason, Pike seems to think that after the quivering Bernard is strapped in, that is a good time to give his students a basic lecture on the amygdala.
Afterward, as Bernard walks home, he is confronted by some neighborhood bullies. Mind you, these bullies are in their 30’s, so assholes is probably a better word for them. And, frankly, after just seeing the worthless trash in Tough Guys Don’t Whine yesterday, I’m ready for Bernard to skip ahead to the inevitable scene where he massacres them. Unfortunately, this is a 60 minute show so we first get a scene where the big tuff men steal his wallet, and send him running in fear as they laugh at him. Making them even more manlier is the fact that Bernard is so debilitated that he might as well be mentally challenged. I’m sure their mothers — who they probably still live with — are proud.
When he gets back to his building, his new neighbor Lisa says she baked a butt-load of lasagna, but he seems oblivious to the fact that she is inviting him to join her. She is undeterred and shows up at his door the next morning to see if he would like to take a walk in the park. He says yes, but comically closes the door in her face to finish his coffee. He plays this very Rain-manesque. It is not clear whether she is pursuing him because she thinks he is special or because she thinks he is “special.”
They take their walk in the park. The bullies confront Bernard again, but we just get another scene of him being pushed around. This show is only 60 minutes, right? This isn’t a two-parter? At least we make a little progress — there is a vein pulsating in his forehead. I expect some whoop-ass next time.
Lisa takes Bernard up to the roof of their building and shows him her pigeons. Sadly, that is not a euphemism. The treatments are starting to have an effect. Not only is Bernard no longer afraid of being on the roof, he is dancing around the parapet. Doctor Pike is happy with the progress, but wants to slow down the treatments. Bernard disagrees and his forehead starts pulsating again. He is able to project into Pike’s mind the same kind of horrific hallucinations that he had been living with.
Bernard continues to become more confident. He rescues a kid in a well — wait, what? That was so 1980s! Then the middle-age gang confronts him again. The leader slams Bernard against a wall and punches him in the gut. Oh boy, this is going to be great! Bernard grabs the guy by the throat and . . . that’s pretty much it. He let’s him go and the gang runs away. WTF, is this a mini-series? Let’s get to the good part!
After Lisa says she is falling in love with Bernard, the head thug breaks into her apartment. Bernard hears this and chokes the guy again. OK, he does transmit to the idiot images of the guy’s worst fear — in this case, being buried alive. [1] Kind of out of left field, but it is high on my list too, so it was effective for me. But still, he lets the guy get away.
There is a revelation about how the fire started. There is also a fairly pointless case of mistaken identity. The good news is that Bernard finally goes full Charlie McGee on somebody in a pretty disturbing scene. I’m just sorry it wasn’t the bullies.
Arye Gross was amazing as Bernard. Was his performance realistic, or was it over the top? Having never seen a person with this affliction, I couldn’t say, but he did make it effective. My only quibble is that I felt like the character was blurred between having crushing anxiety and actually being mentally challenged in the usual sense.
Tanya Allen (Lisa) struck me as authentic as a woman who had had some mental issues herself, and had been hurt in a relationship. Although I wasn’t clear on the motivation, I could imagine her becoming friends with Bernard. Sometimes her delivery reminded me of Shelley Duvall in The Shining, which ain’t good. But then, she was supposed to be a little “damaged” so maybe that was intentional. It worked for me.
Other Stuff:
- [1] Coincidentally, being buried alive also played a part in a pretty good movie I just saw on NetFlix — an Argentinean joint called Ataud Blanco (White Coffin).
- Maybe I should get out on the roof and see some pigeons more often too.
I always respected the late Alan Thicke for being such a multi-talented guy. He wrote insipid TV theme songs (Diff’rent Strokes, Facts of Life), starred in a long-running insipid sitcom (Growing Pains), hosted an insipid talk show (Thicke of the Night), and had writing credits on many shows of varying quality. [1]
Mickey has a blue sheet conveniently hanging on the mirror which he drapes over the red drapes already draped over her. That Mickey is really taking no chances. They do finally end up in bed. The next morning he is wrapped in the red sheet and she is wrapped in the yellow sheet.
Credit where it is due, though. This gang — James, Milo, Permanent, and Mullet — are cringingly repulsive human beings. On top of that, the mindless destruction and the frequent sound of glass breaking create a literal physical reaction in the viewer.
Miss Siddons arrives at Briarstone Women’s College to accept a job offer from her old pal who is now the principal. After a meet and greet with her friend and the vice-principal, she heads to her first class, European Literature. The VP expresses doubt, but the P says Miss Siddons has had a tough life. She lost her mother and father when she was in college. Then she went to Germany to visit her uncle. Darn the luck, the war started and she was stuck there for the duration.
After class, Miss Siddons is standing at the bus stop looking like Mary Poppins with her flat pork pie hat and valise. A carload of girls pulls up in Gloria’s car and offers her a ride, which she surprisingly accepts. She says she was under the impression that the students were not allowed to drive cars to school. Vera says Gloria is PC. Wait, what? Gloria explains that means Privileged Character. Privileged, really? These
The next day in class, Miss Siddons lectures, “It is not generally known that the author of the classic European horror story Frankenshtein was the wife of the English poet Shelley.” C’mon, you lived in Germany for years and you say Frankenshtein? She writes the name on the chalkboard. Sadly, before I can see if she spells it with an H, Vera sneaks in late.
Miss Siddons doesn’t have the book Gloria asked about, but cares enough about her to check out an antique bookstore — the book is the antique, not the bookstore . . . the bookstore won’t last long enough to become an antique. Ben Prowdy happens by and hits on her again. She says maybe some other night. We can tell by her rare smile that she actually means it. She is startled to see, across the street, Gloria going into an establishment called 7th Heaven with a man. She tries to follow, but the doorman says, “No ladies allowed without escorts. You wouldn’t want the club to get a bad name, now would you, lady?” I think this place will have a shorter life-span than the bookstore.
Shop Foreman Jake Lippitt wants to fire Max Martinson. He arrived 6 months ago with big plans for new musical instruments, but has produced nothing. Company President Heinkle wonders if Lippitt is afraid his daughter Evelyn might become interested in Martinson.
Evelyn eggs him on to blow the horn again. Heinkle gets angry, “Stop it, stop it! Put that horn down!” Martinson explains that the horn communicates emotion, any kind, “whatever emotion the player is feeling.” So Martinson was really bi-polar in the last 30 seconds. Or blowing hot and cold, as they say.
Martinson goes to the shop to get the horn and finds that Lippitt has broken into his locker and taken it. Lippitt suggests that 2 enterprising men like them could make a fortune with it even if one of them was a parasitic jerk. When Martinson disagrees, Lippitt brains him with a 4 X 4 and steals the horn.