In 1936, Doug and his Aunt Neva are driving through the country. An old man in a dirty white suit runs into the road and flags them down. He climbs into the car without an invitation and tells Neva to drive off because the sun is after them.
He tells her that on days like today, it feels like the sun is going to split you wide open. He says Lucifer was born on a day like this.
“Ain’t this the year when the 17 year locusts are supposed to come back?” he asks. “If there can be 17 year locusts then why not 17 year people?” This piques Doug’s interest for some reason. The old man continues, “Sure, why not 24 year people or 57 year old people?”
Somehow this leads him to ask, “Who’s to say there ain’t genetic evil in the world?” The car blows a tire and the man allows the old woman to change the tire herself, answering his own question. He tells Doug to imagine that on a hot day like this, an ornery 57 [1] year man could be baked right out of the dried mud and arise. That evening he would crack open like a snap bean and a new young human would emerge.
“I think I’ll eat me some Summer, boy. Look at them trees, ain’t they a whole dinner? And that grass down there, by golly there’s a feast. Them sunflowers, there’s breakfast. Tar-paper on top of that house, there’s lunch. And Jehoshaphat, that lake down the road, that’s dinner wine. Drink it all up til the bottom dries up and splits wide open.”
At this point, I think they need AA more than AAA. Neva finishes changing the tire and inexplicably doesn’t leave the crazy bastard behind.
Doug says he is thirsty and the old man says, “Thirst don’t describe the state of a man who’s been waiting in the hot mud 50 years [2] and is born but to die in one day. Not only thirst, but hunger!” C’mon, you just had some tar-paper!
He yammers on — and by he I mean Bradbury — about eating all the cats in the county. [3] When he finally, inevitably gets around to talking about eating people, Neva slams on the brakes and orders him out of the car.
Proving that he is not the only long-winded son-of-a-bitch in the car, she rants, “I got a load of bibles in the back, a pistol with silver bullets here under the steering wheel, I got a box of crucifixes under the seat, a wooden stake taped to the axle, and a hammer in the glove-box. I got holy water in the radiator filled early this morning from three churches on the way. Now out!” And by she, I mean Bradbury.
They leave the old man literally in their dust. Soon they arrive at a lake. Whether this is their destination or just a chance to cool off, I don’t know. God forbid we get 5 seconds of exposition between the monologues. I guess a refreshing minute at the lake was the point of their drive. Hearing some locusts, Doug gets the willies and asks if there is another road back to town.
They see a little boy in a clean white suit in the road. Neva offers to drive him home. After it gets dark, he leans in from the back seat and whispers to Neva, “Have you ever wondered if there is such a thing as genetic evil in the world?” The car stalls, the lights dim, then nothing. We couldn’t at least get a scream? I think we deserve that.
This was like a flashback to Ray Bradbury Theater — not much of a story, monologues better-suited to the printed page, set when times were simple and presidential candidates weren’t, and an unsatisfying ending. Unfortunately an average episode of Ray Bradbury Theater equals a disappointment from TZ.
To be fair, Roberts Blossom as the old man delivers Bradbury’s poetic words as well as anyone on RBT. And Danny Cooksey’s smile at the end is worth the price of admission. As I seem to say for every segment — it’s OK, just not what I’m looking for from a Twilight Zone reboot.
Post-Post:
- [1] 47 year man in the short story.
- [2] 30 years in the short story.
- [3] Country in the short story.
- The episode closely tracks with the short story, except for the flat tire. Much of the dialogue is verbatim from the story.
- TZ Legacy: Sadly, none.
- Roberts Blossom will show up in Amazing Stories if I last that long.
TZ Legacy: I have to move this to the top section because I’m not sure I can last to the bottom section.
As Harry is dictating a death scene to Winkler, he begins having chest pains. For some reason, he continues dictating even as he is clutching his heart (but sometimes, his throat). This is not played for laughs like Winkler misinterprets his pain; it is just pointless. They are going for a fun romp here, though, so I can live with it. Unfortunately, while Bob Dishy as Harry does play it as broad comedy, James 
Winkler is shocked to find himself transported to the home of William Shakespeare. [3] Shakespeare is having a little writer’s block, and Winkler suggests a play called Hamlet. There is some amusing business by Shakespeare hearing this wrong as Hamnet and being baffled. The gag is not explained, but makes me curious: Did viewers back then know Shakespeare had a son named Hamnet? Was the writer giving the audience that much credit? That might be the most unbelievable thing in this episode.
After getting on my good side by starting off with old Air Force footage last week, SFT is going back to the well with more footage. It is just a brief shot, though, and followed up by a picture of a busy highway and a modern home. The theme is speed, uninterrupted journeys and the convenience of modern gadgets.
Things get serious when electrical interference from the neighbor’s house disrupts Al’s TV picture. Al walks next door and he also gets no response from ringing the bell. Unlike almost every show I’ve watched for this blog, he does not open the door and waltz in uninvited. This was the 50’s when people had manners and a sense of neighborliness and propriety. So he peeks in the window. To his surprise — and mine! — he sees a 
Going downstairs to change a fuse, Al realizes he has hung on to Ted’s flashlight. He figures this out when it projects a light that gives him x-ray vision. He is able to see through the wall, and then his wife’s hand. Al tries to take the flashlight apart, but it is sealed up tighter than an iPad. He is again busted by Ted who demands his flashlight back. Ted has a lot of suspicious questions about the local power grid where Al’s airplane manufacturing plant draws its power, how there radar is powered, and what they do in case of power failure.
He continues his story about people using the machines to go back to simpler times. As people fled the oppressive future, the government outlawed time travel. They even sent out 
Aidan Hunter had the resources and foresight to build an underground bunker to survive whatever apocalypse occurred. He has electricity, fresh air, food, booze, a nice home, and the scientific know-how to program holograms. Inexplicably, he has program-med most of these avatars to be his family; and also to continue using the name Aidan.
For entertainment that night, Aidan programs up a double-date for he and his cartoon brother. Aidan is wearing some sort of black sleeveless scuba-looking thing. His holographic brother appears to be wearing a jacket over his wife-beater. If this is a sly indication that his clothing can only be overlayed onto his basic template like a paper doll — bravo!
When Aidan conjures up another girl to take into the pod, Emma takes over the form of the fantasy girl. To really get on Aidan’s good side, Emma would have shown up in addition to, not in place of the first girl. WTH, is there a weight limit on that ride? [1]
Paige turns off the soup on his hot-plate — a nice touch — and dashes out of the room to report himself for peeping-tomming. Since phones had apparently not yet been invented, he actually runs to the police station to report the murder of the “pretty blonde”.
Moments later, the “pretty blonde” asks Paige’s neighbors for directions to an apartment she wants to rent. Well, well, well . . .