Author Archives: don

The Dogs of Purgatory – Hugh Pendexter

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pulpmegadogsof0125 stories for $.99; they must be good.

Dix is in a bad situation, and not just because of his name.  He has wandered off from his camp, and thanks to overcast skies and the loss of his compass, he was been wandering for 3 days.

Having not eaten in 12 hours, Dix questions his senses when he sees a pack of dogs running toward him.  With no where to take shelter, they are upon him in no time behaving fiercely, but restrained by muzzles.

They are followed by a dwarf, Cumber and a graceful young woman, Florence.  The woman orders the dwarf to take the dogs back to the house, but it is clear he would have preferred to remove the muzzles and allowed them to go down on Dix.

Dix and Florence go back to the house where he meets her sickly uncle.  The dying man tells Dix that Cumber is not their servant but is keeping them prisoner there.  It seems like the dwarf would be pretty easy to overpower, even for the petite Florence. However her uncle is deathly ill, and she is not even aware that Cumber is actually master of the house.

pulpfiction01On the 4th night, Florence’s uncle “dropped into his last sleep.  Once Cumber understood his master had gone, he withdrew with his dogs to the farther side of the knoll” leaving Dix to dig the grave.  So clearly Cumber knows the old man is dead.

Then how to explain his later comment, “The master has gone to a fair country far to the north.”  OK, maybe a poetic way to say he croaked.  But then he continues, “Tomorrow I must be off to find him.”

Florence and Dix plan an elaborate and dangerous escape over ice and lakes being chased by the evil rifle-toting dwarf and vicious dogs.  However, Dix had ample opportunity in the past four days to dropkick the li’l bastard and have a leisurely return to civilization.

However, that would have denied the reader an action packed-chase through the icy wilds with Florence in a sled and Dix on ice skates.  I was never clear what propelled the sled, was Dix pulling it?

Pendexter was not the smoothest of wordsmiths.  As far as I can tell, at the end, one of the dogs grabs Cumber’s rifle in his jaws and shoots him, clearing the way for Flo & Dix to escape.

Post-Post:

  • First published in Complete Northwest Novels Magazine, June 1936.
  • Also published that month: Gone with the Wind.
  • 2nd story in the collection to feature an evil dwarf.

Night Gallery – Whispers (S3E13)

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ngwhispers03According to Rod Serling’s Night Gallery: An After-Hours Tour, “Whisper” is among the best scripts Night Gallery ever produced.

Then who is to blame for the piece of shit as it aired?  Serling had long ago had his power in the series usurped.  Director Jeannot Szwarc?  Certainly not, he went on to direct Jaws 2, and Somewhere in Time.  Maybe the answer is on one of the pages hidden by Google Books.

Sally Field allows spirits to enter her body.

Dean Stockwell has a ridiculous afro.

There is a lot of talking directly to the camera.

I watched this episode twice, so I feel like I’ve done my part.  Really an awful experience.

ngwhispers02Post-Post:

  • Twilight Zone Legacy:  Dean Stockwell was in A Quality of Mercy where he played a Japanese Soldier.
  • This 3rd season episode oddly appears in the 1st season collection, but it is almost bad enough to put me off marching 4th into the 2nd season.

Needle (2010)

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needle02After the credits, an old an old man is assaulted by an unseen attacker who leaves a hole in his chest like he was shot by a cannon.

This unpleasantness passes quickly, then we cut to a college campus where it is quickly demonstrated that Australia’s production of Elle Macpherson was no fluke.  Just to further drive home the point, one of the girls is in a lesbian relationship with a French Exchange Student.  This is just the kind of craftsmanship that is sadly lacking in American movies today.

Ben is visited at his room by Mr. Joshua, a representative from his father’s estate.  He has brought Ben a box found in a storage unit.  Ben is ready to ready to eBay it, but understandably uses it first to entice some girls back to his room.

One of the group fatefully records their image with some sort of picture-taking device that does not have a phone in it, and actually is able to produce said image on paper — how retro!

needle04Ben’s ne’er-do-well brother Marcus shows up at the room.  Somehow this drifter has secured a gig with the police as a crime scene photographer.  He is generally a good guy throughout the film, but is immediately set up as unlikeable, and pulls that off perfectly.  I think it is the haircut.

Ben discovers the box has been stolen.  An unseen person begins cutting up the aforementioned photo, and inserts one of the gang’s headshot into the machine.  After adding some liquids, the machine produces a waxy doll that can be used for voodoo-like effects.  It also seems to wreak havoc on electrical systems.  The mystery person uses the doll to inflict numerous fatal cuts on the victim.

needle17The gang is pretty quick to draw a connection between the missing box and their dead friend.  Another of the gang has their picture inserted, and the box again works its magic.  It is more grizzly this time as not only is the victim sliced by an invisible knife, he has limbs lacked off.

The mystery figure is revealed, the motive is disclosed, and there is a proper comeuppance.

Overall, a nice little film with mostly likeable characters, a few shocks, and good pacing.

Post-Post:

  • Mr. Joshua is a pretty unusual name not to be a callback to Gary Busey in the first Lethal Weapon, but there seems to be no connection.
  • Ben’s professor was Jane Badler from V. The good one.

Tales from the Crypt – Korman’s Kalamity (S2E13)

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tftckorman01Tales from the Crypt goes meta with a story about a TFTC artist.  I’m sure the Crypt-keeper had another layer of meta to add, but it is my policy not to watch that waste of latex.

Harry Anderson is the artist, suffering a case of artist’s block.  His shrewish wife shows up and the office and accuses him of working Saturday to meet a bimbo at the office.

She also accuses him of not taking the potency pills he needs to get her pregnant.  He says the non-FDA approved pills make his brain hurt, kickstarting the episode.

That night he sees a cutie at the laundromat.  After he leaves, the lights go off and a thug begins to attack her.  Turns out she is a cop, and she flips him to the floor.  A monster crawls out of the washer and grabs him, biting his head off.

The cutie recognizes the monster tftckorman07as similar to the work of Anderson.  She tracks him down, and tells him her theory that his drawings are coming to life.  She tells him to draw a monster as a test.

This is a little irresponsible as a monster does materialize in a warehouse where some kids are playing.

His wife busts him making a date with the cutie and he begins sketching her as a monster.    Monster wife kills shrew wife and Anderson goes off with the cutie.

tftckorman09Sipping wine at restaurant, the cutie says, “Are you married?” and Anderson says “Not any more.” Wow, that dialogue is crackling, I tells ya!

The episode is far, far less than the sum of its parts.  Mostly a waste of some fun actors.

Post-Post:

  • Colleen Camp (the wife) was one of those sexy 1980’s chicks like Deborah Foreman — a welcome addition to any crappy movie.  Maybe best remembered as the maid in Clue.
  • Richard Schiff went on to be Toby in The West Wing.