The Devil Bat (1940)

devilbat01An opening title tells us all the people of Heathville love the kindly village doctor Paul Carruthers.  No one suspected that in his home, he found time to conduct “certain private experiments — weird terrifying experiments.”

Carruthers (Bela Lugosi) takes a break from pouring liquids from beaker to bottle to duck into the secret bookcase entrance in his lab.  He walks down a stone-walled hallway and up the stairs to to a secret-secret bat-nursery where he is raising his little darlings.  Hey, Lugosi, enough with the bats!

His process of “glandular stimulation through electrical impulses” is growing the bats at a greatly accelerated rate.  He takes a bat, which is conveniently hanging from a detachable coat hanger (or possibly nunchucks like Töht had in Raiders of the Lost Ark — this movie was released four years after the events in Raiders, so maybe they really caught-on in the late 30’s), and carries him downstairs to the lab.

devilbat05After hanging the bat up in a specially shielded room, Lugosi steps back outside, dons his goggles, and electrifies the bejeebus out of the bat. Remarkably, within minutes, the bat quadruples in size.  It is tragic that Lugosi did not use his meat-growing discovery for good, selling out to Frank Perdue, Butterball or Pfizer.

Lugosi gets a call from his bosses, Morton and Heath, to come to a party at Heath’s home just down the hill.  He reluctantly agrees to attend, which is fortunate because his bosses plan to give him a bonus of $5,000 ($83,000 in 2014 dollars).

When Lugosi doesn’t show up, Heath sends his son Roy to deliver the bonus.  After handing over the check, Lugosi asks Roy to test out his new creation, an after shave lotion, which he suggests — not at all suspiciously — be applied to the tender part of the neck. Carruthers bids him an ominous “goodbye” as he leaves.

The check has only angered Lugosi as it is revealed that he resents Heath and Morgan for reaping millions from his creations while tossing him crumbs.  But his day has come — or night, actually, due to his method of revenge.  He opens a window and orders the mega-bat to seek out the scent of the after shave lotion and go for the tender part of the neck.

devilbat07That night, Morton’s son Don proposes to Heath’s daughter Mary.  She tells him that she thinks of him as a brother.  As the story is not set in West Virgina (or Westeros), this is a deal-breaker.  Incredibly, Don is not having the worst night of the bunch — as Roy Heath returns from delivering Lugosi’s bonus, the giant bat swoops down and kills him.

The Daily Register gets wind of Heath’s death and assigns ace-reporter Johnny Layton to the story along with photographer “One-Shot” McGuire (presumably a nickname given by his editor, not his wife).

Heath’s other son Tommy visits Lugosi at his lab and is given the lotion to test.  He tries to put some on Carruthers, but he recoils — although he is happy to shake Tommy’s lotion-slathered hand when he gives his ominous “goodbye.”

Lugosi wastes no time opening the window out of which — for reasons unexplained, four bats fly out before batzilla.  Johnny, One-Shot and Mary see the bat kill Tommy, so now there are eye-witnesses.

Johnny’s editor still is not convinced, so Layton conspires with One-Shot to get a stuffed bird from a taxidermy shop and create some bogus pictures to back up their narrative. When their editor hears of the deception, he fires them and says he will see that they never work at another newspaper.  On the plus side, they are now contractually free to join others of similar journalistic standards at NBC News.

devilbat11After Don Morton is killed, Johnny finds the lotion in his bathroom and realizes that all of the victims had this same scent.  After tracking the source back to Lugosi , Johnny and the Sheriff confront Lugosi who all-too-happily offers them each a bottle.  Only Johnny takes it.  When the bat inevitably swoops in, Johnny kills it.

Lugosi goes to Henry Morton’s office and gives him a bottle of the lotion.  Morton makes the mistake of rubbing Carruthers face in the wealth he lost by cashing out of the company early like Walter White.  Soon Morton is killed.

Johnny expresses his theory that someone is using the bats to kill every member of the Morton and Heath Families.  That has the ring of truth since nearly every member of both families has already been killed by the bats.  That’s some good work there, Lou.

Lugosi also attempts to kill Mary, but that doesn’t go so well.  Soon (after all, this film is only 108 minutes), Lugosi gets his proper comeuppance.  Like many movies of the era, it wraps up in about two seconds, ending on a completely innocuous line of dialogue.

The Devil Bat is enjoyable given the limitations of the day, like White Zombie.  But neither is as transcendent as Dracula.

Post-Post:

  • Takes place in Heathville.  There are newspaper references to Peoria, Springfield and Chicago, so we can assume this is in Illinois.  There is a Heathsville in Illinois, but no Heathville.
  • The Daily Register’s editor is played by Arthur Q. Bryan who voiced Elmer Fudd 1950-1959.  Once you know that, it is impossible to hear his voice without thinking of Elmer.
  • Jean Yarbrough also directed King of the Zombies.  His name is spelled Yarborough in the credits, but IMDb says the standard spelling drops the “o”.
  • Even 70 years earlier, Lugosi’s character sold out for twice as much as Walter White.
  • Note to aspiring screenwriters:  Don’t have characters named Morton and Martin unless you want to confuse simple minds.

Night Gallery – The Hand of Borgus Weems (S2E1)

The real  George Maharis is driving through the city when he loses control of his hand.  He bursts through some construction barricades and nearly runs down a pedestrian.  So the hand also apparently controls the feet since he did not stop.  Also the arm, since the hand itself doesn’t really have much leverage to steer a car.

He goes to a surgeon and requests that the doctor amputate his hand.  The doctor sees nothing wrong with the hand. Thanks to several inter-cut shots, we see the hand contorting.  Also being bathed in a strange psychedelic pulsing light which you might think would catch the doctor’s eye.

Maharis grabs the doctor’s prescription pad and scribbles a Latin phrase that neither recognize.  And the handwriting is awful — maybe it has been the pads’ fault all these years.  He says the hand has attempted murder three times and he is afraid it will eventually be successful.  When the doctor refuses to cut off his hand, he grabs a heavy bust in the office and slams it down onto his hand.

That show of commitment seems to change the doctor’s mind and he goes through with the amputation.  Actually, we are supposed to believe that the damage done to the hand made amputation “mandatory”, but in the operating room, it seems pink and rosy and functional and unbruised.

ngborgusweems03He tells the story of almost running over the pedestrian again to a psychiatrist, complete with the same footage being replayed.

Also how, while making a phone call, he involuntarily called a strange number and identified himself as Borgus Weems, a name he had never heard before.  Actually, I don’t think anyone has ever heard that name before.  So in addition to the foot and the shoulder, the hand also controls the mouth.  When the man he called tracks him down, the hand tries to stab him with a letter opener.

Then he recounts how the murder tried to kill his fiancee.  So in addition to the hand, the shoulder, the foot and the mouth, it also controls his legs which carried him to her apartment. He pulls the gun on her, and struggles to lower it.  He manages to drop the gun and at that moment decides that the hand has got to go.

The surgeon decides to bring in another consultant, this one a detective.  He recalls that a man named Borgus Weems previously rented Maharis’s apartment.  He also dabbled in the black arts, naturally.  Turns out someone had lopped off Weem’s hand at the wrist. His sister, now Maharis’s squeeze, and the other men he tried to kill were both complicit in his maiming and murder.

The doctor sees Maharis getting agitated so he writes him a prescription.  Now the doctor’s hand is possessed and he writes that same Latin phrase again.  Luckily the detective not only speaks Latin, but recognizes it as a quote from Virgil, “Arise my avenger, out of my bones.”  The doctor stares in disbelief at his hand.

ngborgusweems04

No, this isn’t the wind. The Detective’s hair was like this in every shot.   Make-up!!!

An OK story — far from original, but I never deduct points for that — but it is weakened by its goofy structure.  At times I had to orient myself between past and present based on whether Maharis had one or two hands.

Post-Post:

  • Borgus: The concept that a global human consciousness will form, manifested as the nexus of all written knowledge on Earth and the inter-connectivity of that information through computer networks — Urban Dictionary.
  • Parson Weems fabricated the anecdote about George Washington’s honesty vis-à-vis the cherry tree.  Oh, the irony.
  • Twilight Zone Legacy:  Patricia Donahue and William Mims were in one episode each.
  • Two lame short segments not deserving a post (even by me!) starred Leslie Nielsen, Joseph Campanella, and Sue “Lolita” Lyons.
  • Hulu sucks.

Night Gallery – The Boy Who Predicted Earthquakes (S2E1)

ngearthquake01Starting Season 2 on Hulu because I’m not sure the box is worth $23 at Amazon.  Outside of the Pilot, NG has had zero rewatch potential.

This whole episode is a cornucopia of 60’s and 70’s stars.  In this segment,  we get Michael Constantine (Room 222), Bernie Kopell (Get Smart, Love Boat) and Clint Howard (geez, everything from Gentle Ben — Christ, a show about a kid who has a full grown BEAR for a pet! —  to Arrested Development, with one iconic episode of Start Trek in between).

10-year old Clint is at a TV studio with his grandfather.  They have given him a spot doing commentary, apparently having the same criteria for maturity as MSNBC.

He begins talking about some books he’s read and a telescope he hopes to get, driving the station manager crazy at the banality.  Then he gets very serious and describes a missing girl being found, and an earthquake occurring the next day.

Despite Clint’s track record of having been 100% right on previous predictions, the station manager is outraged and threatens to fire everyone and burn the tape.

Of course, Clint is 100% correct, so we flash forward 18 months (during which young Clint has not grown an inch).  Finally, after a year of public predictions being 100% correct, a doctor is sent to study Clint.  The government also sends a man to monitor every show.

While getting made up for the day’s show, Clint gets very anxious and wants to go home.  He is cajoled into staying,and makes a prediction of an event the next day which will turn earth into a paradise with everyone loving each other.  Of course, he is lying.

ngearthquake02The next morning, Clint admits the sun is going supernova and will incinerate the earth.  Unfortunately, the episode takes a couple of minutes making this revelation when the audience gets the gist in a few seconds.  Also, the cast seem to be bathed in a amber light, but the event doesn’t happen until tomorrow, so why the special lighting?  Clint even points to the sun and says tomorrow it won’t be like that, indicating that today, the sun is normal.  Maybe it was just magic hour.

Other than botching the twist, everything was pretty great, especially Clint Howard.  I give it a 6.5 on the Richter Scale.

Post-Post:

  • Twilight Zone Legacy:  Michael Constantine was in another heliocentric episode, I am the Night – Color Me Black.
  • Nice opening shots in what I assume was an actual production studio at NBC.  It’s like old-time NASA with the bulky equipment.
  • John Badham went on to direct Blue Thunder, WarGames and Saturday Night Fever.
  • Hulu sucks.

Ship of the Golden Ghoul – Lazar Levi

pulpmegabride01Bruce and Julia are threading their sailboat through a narrow channel.  Julia says another boat has been chasing them for an hour and is concerned as she believes it to be a ghostboat with a dead man for a pilot.

Earlier, they had nearly collided, and they saw no crew, only a corpse at the wheel — moldy clothes on a bony frame, and rotten flesh.  On the other hand, there is also a radiant golden siren (the breasty kind, not the police car kind).  They play cat and mouse around the islands, but Bruce runs aground and their boat is lost.

As always in these stories, there is a house in this unlikely location.  The door is opened by Jerry Dunn, wielding a gun.  Cuthbert Stapleton is not keen on letting them in, but the owner George Kober thinks it is OK.  There is another man named Slim — apparently named for his characterization — his presence is barely commented upon and he quickly ends up mysteriously slashed “from chin to navel” in Julia’s bedroom that night.

Julia did not witness the murderer, but Bruce says he saw a grotesque face at the window making an escape.  There are several accusations of jewelry smuggling and tax evasion.  Dunn quietly reveals to Bruce that he is actually a G-man on the case.  Bruce and Dunn hear a scream and find that Kober has also been killed in the same grizzly fashion. The empty safe next to the bloody corpse suggests that Stapleton has made off with the treasure.

In the mean time, Julia has disappeared.  Despite having zero reason to believe the ghostboat was involved, Bruce decides to swim — swim, I tells ya — in pursuit of the black schooner. After an hour of swimming through the wild surf, he reaches the ghostboat and, unlike the dumbbells in Adrift, is able to climb the anchor chain.  He is quickly conked on the head.

Finally we get to a story with an ape, though, sans zeppelin.

Finally we get to a story with an ape, though, sans zeppelin.

He awakens in the cabin, which is covered in tapestries.  Two sword-wielding, turbaned Arabs are flanking a golden snake-god statue.  There is also a woman with cascading hair like spun gold posed seductively on a couch wearing “a thin transparent gossamer which enshrouded, but did not conceal her voluptuous charms.”

Just in case we don’t get it, we are also subtly informed that she has “breasts like ripe melons.”

The woman, Thyra — another good Barsoom name — offers to take him away and make him emperor to her empress, but he demands to see Julia.  She orders the swordsmen to bring in Julia, who she promptly orders to be “stripped to the waist!” revealing the lack of follow-through that will prevent her from ever really being successful.

Turns out, she is just a common ho’ and Dunn is not a G-Man, he is in cahoots with her.  There is blood and killing and dismemberment.  And Thyra also being stripped to the waist — you know this Lazar Levi guy just doesn’t know how to close a deal.

Post-Post:

  • First published in Mystery Novels and Short Stories Magazine in September 1939, the same issue as Bride of the Ape.
  • Also that month:  Germany invades Poland and conducts first air attacks on Great Britain.  FDR declares US neutral as such blood-thirsty, savage nations as New Zealand, Canada, Australia and even France declare war.
  • Archaic words:  welter, incarnadined, objurgations, flossie.  Or, at least unknown to me.

Tales from the Crypt – Lower Berth (S2E14)

ftfclowerberth01A carnival barker is rounding up rubes to see the Freak Show.  If he had shortened his spiel, he might have squeezed in one more show per night.  After an interminable intro, he lets the people in.

After the Fat Lady and the Midgets, he brings out Enoch the 2-Faced Man who is exactly what he sounds like.  I’m not a fan of birth defects as entertainment, so no pictures.  Being obese isn’t a birth defect, but I’m no fan of Fat Ladies either, so no pictures of her either.

A well dressed man — a tuxedo at the carny — shows up in Mr. Sickles’ trailer.  He is played by Mark Rolston, the Space Marine from Aliens.  No, not Hicks, not the robot, not the black guy, not the women, not Bill Paxton, not the Lieutenant . . . the other guy.  Yeah, him.

He has come into possession of a Mummy which he wishes to sell to the carnival.  Sickles agrees to take the Mummy and pay the man a 40% commission.  Enoch probably doesn’t get much action, so is enamored of the Mummy.  Sickle mocks him for having human feelings.

Sickles sees in the newspaper that the Mummy was stolen in New Orleans.  The man does not deny it, but says he had no use for the Mummy, he just wanted the jewelry which could not be taken from the Mummy due to a curse which would castrate the thief.  If a very brief scuffle, Sickles accidentally kills the man with hedge clippers.

Hmmmm, castration curse and the introduction of hedge clippers.  Don’t need to visit Madam Zoltan’s tent to see the future for this one.

Sickles steals the jewels, and Enoch uses the hedge clippers to castrate him.  He can’t say he wasn’t warned; at least, he can’t say it in a low-pitched voice.

ftfclowerberth03

Gotch’er nose!

Enoch and the Mummy miss their next curtain call.  One year later, the police pay the carnival owner a visit.  A local boy discovered a cave where Enoch and the Mummy had lived. And apparently gave birth to the Cryptkeeper, who appears at the end as a baby.

Post-Post:

  • These TFTC titles are getting tedious.  I get that they are calling this baby a product of lower or lesser beings, but it should have been “Lower Birth” to make the pun work.
  • Screw the producers!  Knowing my dislike of the Cryptkeeper, they made him part of the story so he couldn’t be avoided.
  • Kevin Yagher has only two directing credits, both on TFTC.  His brother Jeff plays Enoch the 2-Faced Man.
  • Kevin married Catherine Hicks, and Jeff married Megan Gallagher.  Wow.