Outer Limits – Inconstant Moon (S2E12)

olinconstant01Let’s just get this out of the way right up front:  Incontinent Moon.

There, now we can continue like civilized adults.  Professor Stanley Hurst is grading papers when he notices something strange going on with the moon; it is far too bright. He tries to make a phone call, but is told all long distance circuits are down.

He makes a call to the owner of the local book store, somehow thinking she might have more insight into this phenomena than he does as a professor of physics.  He explains that her store has the largest astronomy section in the town.  Amazingly, this has not qualified her to render an opinion.

olinconstant03He notices that the TV has gone to static when he gets a visit from his neighbor Henry. He reasonably suggests that the super-bright moon implies that something has happened with the sun.  For a professor of physics, Stanley is fairly dense not to have thought of this immediately.

Stanley is taking it pretty well.  He calculates that they have about 5 hours before the shock-wave makes it to them.  Henry goes home to pray, because that will make everything OK.

Leslie, the bookstore owner, calls Stanley to thank him for waking her to see the moon. With hours to live, he does the reasonable thing and turns it into a booty call, even though she ain’t no Meg Ryan.  He goes to her place, and they go for a walk in the bright moonlight.

olinconstant10Stanley asks Leslie to marry him, and she says yes.  They go window-shopping for a ring.  He tosses a trash can through the jewelry store window and steals the ring.  She realizes from Stanley’s strange behavior and the bright moon that something has happened.  She then screams at him for not telling her and for monopolizing her last hours alive, making a lot of good points.

She finally accepts his sincerity.  They buy some champagne and head back to her place.  Just as they arrive, the storms start.  When they aren’t instantly incinerated, Stanley starts to think he might have been wrong; maybe it was only a solar flare, and they can survive.

I went back and forth on how I expected it to end, so I was destined to be surprised; or disappointed.  Ultimately, Outer Limits just couldn’t go dark enough to burn the earth to a cinder.  Alien invasions are one thing, but they seem to draw the line at total annihilation.

Another good episode.

olinconstant18Post-Post:

  • Based on a short story by Larry Niven.
  • Joanna Gleason (Leslie) is the daughter of Monty Hall, and married to Chris Sarandon.
  • The physics paper being graded by the professor is “prepared by Darla Nathorst.” Nathorst is credited as Transportation Coordinator on many Outer Limits Episodes, though strangely not this one.
  • And he gave her a C — bastard!

Ray Bradbury Theater – The Exorcism (S4E9)

rbtexorcism06Postman Sam Brown is making his rounds and is stopped by Clara Goodwater (Sally Kellerman).  Clara catches him by surprise and he stuffs a book he was reading into his bag.  She asks if he has her book of Albertus Magnus like the other occult books she has been receiving.  He makes a poor decision of lying to a witch and says no.

Young Tom is mowing the Brown’s yard when he hears Elmira Brown screaming in the kitchen.  She has somehow managed to cut herself while slicing a cake.  Being a good civil servant, Sam stops by his house for a piece of cake while making his rounds and shows Elmira the book he should have given to Clara — “Albertus Magnus: White & Black Arts for Man and Beast, Revealing the Forbidden Knowledge and Mysteries of Ancient Philosophers.”  That mouthful is the title, not the first chapter, and it is a real book.

Elmira goes to see Clara and recruits Tom for moral support.  At this point, there is evidence that Tom is a) her son, or b) a neighbor who mows their lawn, and c) an Indians fan as he always wears their cap.  On the way over, Elmira face-plants in the yard and blames Clara’s magic.

After Elmira accuses Clara of being a witch, Clara invites her in for a cup of tea, leaving Tom on the porch.  Elmira accuses Clara of using her magic each year to be elected president of the Ladies Honeysuckle Harmony Lodge.  She reels off her misfortunes every year around election time — being sick, breaking a leg, and various clumsy accidents.

rbtexorcism36What is strange is that during this entire exchange, Tom can be seen through the window, and seems to be taking notes.  My first thought was that he represented the author, but I don’t know of a Bradbury-Cleveland Indians connection.

Leaving Clara’s house, she is nearly hit by a car.  At least we are told at that point, that Tom is not her son.  That night she continues her list of screw-ups that she attributes to Clara’s magic.  The morning of the election, she adds one more as she has a giant zit in the middle of her forehead.

For some reason, she drags Tom to the election with her.  Current president Clara introduces Elmira who has asked for the chance to say a few words.  She accuses the members of voting for Clara every year to avoid the same problems she has had.  She plans the titular exorcism.

The vote goes as usual with the the entire membership giving an angelic “aye.”  Elmira runs out and emergency exit and falls two stories.  Clara uses her powers, and tells Clara that if she comes back to life, Clara will pass the presidency to her.

rbtexorcism51That does the trick, and she marches back up the stairs with then club singing “For She’s a Jolly Good Fellow.”  But it is clear Clara is just setting her up for another fall.

Just a strangely unappealing episode.  It wasn’t clear who Tom was until he referred to his parents; it still isn’t clear why Elmira drags him everywhere and why he goes along.  I’m assuming Sam and Elmira are married, but she seems quite a bit older, so could be mother and son — certainly a postman son living with is mother is not unheard of.

And, sorry but the presidency of a club of women in their 50’s just isn’t going to grab my interest.  A club of 20 year old strippers threatening to unionize — then you got something.

Post-Post:

  • Clara introduces Elmira as being the wife of the local graphologist (one who studies handwriting).  All we know about Sam is that he is a mailman, reads people’s mail, and seems to have married a woman 10 years older than him — so I don’t get the graphologist reference.
  • OK, I guess it refers to reading people’s postcards, but it’s a stretch.
  • Dead last in IMDb’s always-suspect ratings.

Alfred Hitchcock Presents – Reward to Finder (S3E6)

ahprewardto01Carl Kaminsky is like one of those guys with a metal detector on the beach; except he has no metal detector, no straw hat, isn’t wearing shorts and is on a city street.  OK, not so similar — but he is keeping his eyes down looking for anything of interest.

On a grate, he picks up a soaking wet newspaper for reasons I can’t imagine.  Then he spots a wallet and picks it up.  He spends about the same amount of time looking for owner as OJ did looking for the real killers — then pockets the wallet.

He goes home to a very humble apartment and his wife Anna (Jo Van Fleet).  Fleet was last seen as a thoroughly repulsive shrew in Dangerous People.  Here, she is not as insane, but despite being abused by her brutish husband, she is no more likable or sympathetic a character.

Carl is in, what apparently for him, is a good mood even though he is still cruel to Anna.  And he’s not mentioning the wallet to her.  She asks what he is so happy about, he tells her to “shut up with the questions.”  Christ, what is this guy like on a bad day?

Finally he does whip out the wallet and shows her that it contains 52 $100 bills, and there is no name in the wallet.  Anna’s plan is to return the wallet in anticipation of a big reward.  Carl has a slightly different plan.

The next day, Anna sees an ad in the paper offering a generous reward for the wallet.  Anna wants to call, but Carl says he will return the wallet to the owner.  He comes home furious, telling Anna that there was no reward.  He then heads up to the attic to hide the wallet.

ahprewardto10Two weeks later, Anna is still pissed about being stiffed on the reward. She sees that the ad is still running in the paper, then she is really pissed and catches Carl counting the Bejamins in the attic.

Soon, Anna is buying new furniture, a new dress, and a mink coat.  When Carl demands that she return it, she threatens to call the owner of the wallet.  After a screaming match where Anna smacks Carl and dares her to hit her back, he retreats to the attic.

She brings him a poisoned cup of coffee while he is counting the money yet again.  He clubs her to death with a statuette, then drinks the coffee.

ahprewardto16It’s a great story, but the leads are so repulsive that it is impossible to have any empathy for them.

Post-Post:

  • AHP Deathwatch:  No survivors among those with data on IMDb.

Night Gallery – Tell David (S2E14)

ngtelldavid03On a dark and stormy night, Ann Bolt is driving through the rain.  After a nasty bolt of lightning, the radio starts playing some awful music and it seems to be daylight — or at least, dusk — I’m not sure if this was a story point or a mistake.  The rain continuing, and the radio going crazy, I can see happening; but time reversing is going to get a reaction from me.

She pulls into the garage of the first house she sees, and rings the bell. The owner, Pat Blessington, invites her in, and Ann is confused by the krazee electronics.  There is a closed circuit security monitor which she mistakes for modern art, a one-way window, and a telephone which is very unfuturistically built into a casserole console.

ngtelldavid15Pat is very accommodating, offering her a cigarette of a type she’s never seen before — non-lethal.  Pat’s husband David comes downstairs to show off his new gadget — a mapping computer about the size of a suitcase.  He is able to show her the way home, but they invite Ann back some time when she can stay longer.

When Anne arrives home, she notices her husband’s car is dry and there isn’t a cloud in the sky.  For some reason, Ann’s husband Tony is waiting for her dressed as an old hag and begins screaming at her.  Supposedly he is acting out the way she treats him, reducing her to tears.

ngtelldavid12I supposed the hag mask was an excuse to make something of the reveal that the same actor is playing David and Tony.  It was wasted on me as he is such an average looking guy that I still couldn’t make them look alike the second time I watched it. Add completely different temperaments, hair and mustache, and it seems pointless.

After a lot of screaming, they go upstairs to check on their child, also named David — hey, you don’t think . . . Tony makes eyes at the Nanny as he passes.

The next day at the Blessington’s house, it is clear that David realizes that Ann is his mother, has somehow traveled from the past, and — oh yeah — isn’t dead.  He is pretty nonchalant about this miracle.  He talks about how he got the name Blessington from a relative who took him in as an orphan, but never mentions his prior name.  He is also pretty obtuse in vaguely telling a story about a woman who killed her husband and later herself.  Ach du lieber, just tell her and save her life, you idiot — she’s your mother!

ngtelldavid21Back at home, Tony mentions — apparently for the first time in their relationship — a cousin named Jane Blessington. That, combined with an incident older David mentioned about his 4th birthday finally clues Ann into what is happening.

None-the-less, after catching Tony making out with the Nanny, she shoots him and plans on killing herself before the trial.  This is the sacrifice she is willing to make after seeing what a good man David grew up to be.

Post-Post:

  • Twilight Zone Legacy:  None.
  • Swapping spit is apparently pretty casual in the future, so it is lucky David recognized his mother early on, or we could have had a reverse Back to the Future moment.
  • Skipped segment: Logoda’s Heads, because two was enough.  Although, Vigoda’s Head — that, I would have checked out.  A rare misfire by Robert Bloch.

Night Gallery – The Different Ones (S2E14)

ngdifferent05A 17 year old boy, Vic, is sitting alone in his bedroom as kids outside yell at his window calling him ugly and a freak.  We’re in kind of a tough position to judge since he has a sack over his head.  In any event, I think we can agree the kids are assholes.

His father says that after a lot of thought, he has decided to send Vic to live among others like him.  Somewhere he can be himself and walk in the sun.  Vic asks where this utopia is, but his father really has no ideas.

The father calls the government on a swell video-phone, asking for the department that deals with deformed kids.  He is referred to The Department of Special Urban Problems.  When they ask the nature of the deformity, Vic tears off the sack and photobombs his dad’s call.

ngdifferent08Shockingly, the government is of no help.  Their only solutions are 1) Vic lives with his father for the rest of his life, or 2) Vic is put to sleep (OK’d by the Conformity Act of 1993).  At the last second, a position opens up in an exchange program with another planet.

Vic’s father watches with tears in his eyes as a rocket takes off carrying away his son.  Then we are treated to a lot of NASA stock footage, which is OK with me — I could watch that stuff all day..  He meets a very human looking man in the jet-way and learns that he is the exchange for Vic.

Bottom line, the freak on the other planet is handsome by human standards, and Vic is handsome by their standards.  Everybody’s a winner.

ngdifferent18A pretty light-weight segment, but I’m a sucker for a happy ending.

Post-Post:

  • Twilight Zone Legacy:  Mary Gregory was in three episodes, and Dana Andrews was in one.
  • Also, I was getting Eye of the Beholder deja vu.