Thriller – The Grim Reaper (S1E37)

tgrimreaper09There will be no more Outer Limits because my Hulu-hate won out; also my cheapness as Season 3 is $35 at Amazon.

I was immediately leery about Thriller.  Stephen King’s blurb says “The best horror series ever put on TV.”  On the other hand, this collection of “Fan Favorites” had to to go all the way the episode 37 for the first entry.  I can only hope they are not going chronologically.

Late at night, there is a knock at the door.  A man is looking for the artist Henri Radin.  For a shiny nickel, the chambermaid takes the man right up to Radin’s room, but warns the man that he might be drunk or on drugs — wow, already edgier than Alfred Hitchcock or Twilight Zone.

tgrimreaper10

The Grim Reaper is the one on the right

She is not a fan of Radin’s art which she says is evil.  The man suggests, “Perhaps a nude?” She responds “There is no evil in nakedness.”  Scandalous for 1959!

The woman knocks, but there is no answer.  The man insists on being let in as he is Radin’s father.  We see the shadow of Radin’s legs as he swings dead from a noose — finally, back to some wholesome 1960’s entertainment.

They take a look at his last painting, and is fairly evil, and better than any of the oil-slicks on Night Gallery.

In his intro to the story, Boris Karloff is examining the painting, which we learn is now over 100 years old.  And there is fresh blood on the scythe.

Paul Graves (William Shatner) arrives at a house and is greeted by his aunt Beatrice (Natalie Schafer).  He is surprised that she bought a hearse, but being a a writer of 27 mystery novels, she bought it as publicity.

tgrimreaper11Beatrice introduces Graves to her fifth husband, Gerald Keller, who is much younger than her.  Also to her young secretary Dorothy.  They go downstairs to see Beatrice’s new acquisition, Radin’s “Grim Reaper.”  It was this purchase that disturbed Graves so much that he had to visit his aunt.  He warns her to get rid of the picture.

He says that since it was painted in 1848, the painting has had 17 owners, 15 of which met with violent deaths.  Beatrice was aware of the curse and also bought that for publicity.  She had also previously heard Grave’s revelation that the painting began to bleed before each death.  Like NOW for instance!

Of course, that night they discover Beatrice dead at the bottom of the stairs.  A few days later, the will is read and everything was left to Keller.  So now Keller is the owner of the painting, and the pieces start to fall into place.

tgrimreaper12They might play a little fast and loose with criminal evidence and estate law, but accompanied by a shrieking score and great performances, it moves toward a twisty, satisfying conclusion.

My initial pessimmism was unwarranted.  This was one of the best episodes I’ve seen in the past year.  At the most basic level, it looked great, very crisp black and white.  The camera work was excellent, and Robert Bloch (Psycho) came up with a very witty script that was well played by everyone.

If there is one nitpick, the score seemed a little overwrought.  But if that was meant to heighten the feel of unease, it worked.  Also, as host, Karloff was no Rod Serling (TZ not NG).

Overall:  Excellent.

Post-Post:

  • It is bizarre that Beatrice jokes that the hearse she bought was driven only by a “little old corpse from pasadena.”  It was not until 3 years later that Jan & Dean recorded The Little Old Lady from Pasadena.
  • At 12:15, it really sounds like Beatrice calls Dorothy “Samanatha.”  She could have said “What’s the matter” — several replays later, I couldn’t be sure.  She later clearly refers to “The Decoration of Independence.”
  • Of course, the two leads went on to be Captain Kirk and Lovey Howell.

Ray Bradbury Theater – The Martian (S5E8)

rbtmartian02Phobos and Deimos — so far so good.  Bradbury might give Mars earth-like gravity, blue skies, and breathable air, but he did at least keep the 2nd moon.  I suspect they would never be in that configuration in the sky, but why quibble.

Down on the Martian surface, LaFarge and his wife Anna are having a restless night, both dreaming about their dead son.

Anna says, “We should have brought him with us.”  Her husband quite reasonably says, “Anna, he’s been dead 5 years.  What would be the use?”  Hers sounds like a crazy comment, but she misses driving to his grave on Sunday and talking to him.  Although I think he is just as likely to hear her on Mars as on Earth no matter what your belief system.

A strange ball of light appears the next night and a disembodied voices says, “Let me go. You caught me.  Let me go.”  LaFarge opens the door and it is his dead son Tom.  He beelines for his mother’s bedroom quicker than Buster Bluth.

rbtmartian04The next morning, LaFarge awakes to hear his wife and dead son having breakfast.  Anna is treating Tom as her real son, but LaFarge is suspicious.  He has heard that the few remaining indigenous Martians can read minds and imitate relatives, which is why we killed the Indians.

The three of them go to an outdoor bazaar that night.  Tom gets separated from his parents.  When LaFarge looks for him, he sees a girl reuniting with her parents — clearly Tom has taken a new form.  All over the Martian town, people are seeing their dead relatives.

LaFarge finds the girl and convinces her to turn back into Tom.  There are so many people around with so many memories of dead friends that he can’t maintain his form as Tom. He turns into several different people, and is finally seen in the act of changing.  Finally he is overwhelmed by the crowds and vanishes completely.

rbtmartian05Not a great ending to the season.  Although it is great that the season had only 8 episodes.

Post-Post:

Alfred Hitchcock Presents – The Motive (S3E17)

ahpmotive11Richard and Sandra are lounging around Tommy Greer’s hotel room (?), already extremely drunk.

Sandra discovers Tommy’s hobby — a poster board where he tracks every murder for the year, whether it was solved and whether there was a motive.  He points out to Sandra how the line for motiveless murders runs parallel to the line for unsolved murders.  Yeah, well, all of the lines are parallel, dumb-ass.  Did no one on the set understand basic geometry?

And not to get too nit-picky, but this is equally basic — it appears that ~240 solved murders + ~280 unsolved murders  = ~475 total murders.

Sandra says it’s ten to seven, so she’s got to go.  For the viewer, Sandra is there only for exposition; of the chart and her gams.  But why is she there for Richard and Tommy? Is it 7 AM or PM?  It’s a little early for being that drunk and still drinking at either hour. When she leaves, she kisses both men on the lips, and calls Tommy “Mr. Greer.”

Several reviewers compare this to Hitchcock’s Rope, but it is really more related to Strangers on a Train.  Tommy expounds his theory that a motiveless crime has a 100 to 1 shot of being solved.  Not to turn this into Mathterpiece Theater, but if that is true, the solved line should be much shorter.  Richard says he only got Tommy started on this hobby to take his mind off of his ex-wife Marion.

ahpmotive12Turns out Marion was Richard’s girl, then dumped him for Tommy.  Now she has divorced Tommy, and Richard wants him to get over it. Richard challenges Tommy to commit a motiveless murder and see if he can get away with it.

Shortly thereafter, the two men take an elevator to the lobby which confirms that this is a hotel, not an apartment, and that it is 7 PM. Tommy’s place really looked more like an apartment, but there is a newstand and bar in the lobby.  So are they on a business trip?  And why are they so drunk at 7 PM?

Richard pulls out a Chicago phone book, closes his eyes and — I can’t stress this enough — opens it randomly, and blindly lands his finger on one Jerome Stanton of Chicago as the proposed victim.  Tommy tears the page out of the phonebook — which is not what you want in your possession when trying to commit the perfect crime.

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Well, he is going to take a poll! Heyoooooo!

Tommy flies to Chicago and calls the Stanton home, but only the maid is home.  She says Mr. Stanton will be home the next evening for the fights, as were all men in the 1950s. The next night, he goes to see Stanton under the guise of taking a poll. Tommy goes through an extensive ruse rather than just killing him outright.

Eventually, however, Tommy talks Stanton into a vulnerable position and pounds him in the head with a hammer.

Back in New York (or, I believe it was an unspecified city 1,000 miles from Chicago), he is eating breakfast and reading the paper.  He sees that Jerome Stanton of Chicago was murdered — because local papers cover every murder in the nation.  C’mon, today it wouldn’t even be covered in Chicago.  He is shocked as he reads it was Jerome Stanton that his ex-wife Marion had left him for, and married. Richard, who had also been jilted by Marion, set Tommy up to kill Stanton and clear his path back to Marion.  Asked by the police for any possible suspects, Marion had named Tommy.

Tommy attacks Richard just as the cops show up.

ahpmotive16

World’s worst proctologist.

This is such a good episode that I’m willing to accept that Richard had somehow bent or marked the page in the phone book to open up to, and had memorized the spot so that he could literally finger Stanton’s name with his eyes covered.

Also that it was just pure luck that Marion didn’t answer the phone when Tommy called, and that she was not home when he went to see Stanton, and that Stanton never mentioned her name, and that there were no wedding pictures around.

I better stop before I talk myself out of the fact that this was a great episode.

Post-Post:

  • AHP Deathwatch:  Skip Homeier is still alive, but retired from acting at 50.  Tharon Crigler is also hanging on.  Strange career — 6 roles in 1958, nothing before or after.  Gary Clarke is still alive and working despite a 16-year gap 1996-2012 per IMDb.
  • Did Richard smack Sandra on the ass at about 2:15?  Pretty racy stuff for 1958.
  • Not that this was a classic, but Googling Mathterpiece Theater further confirms my theory that it is almost impossible to come up with anything that is original.  It’s like trying to get Joe as a Google login ID.

Night Gallery – Rare Objects (S3E4)

August Kolodney (Mickey Rooney) is shoveling it back as the only customer in an Italian restaurant. He’s the kind of guy who snaps his fingers at the waiter.  Later, he verbally snaps at the waiter, sensing that the waiter has set him up for a hit.

Sure enough, two of the worst hit-men in the world come storming through the doors.  Rooney takes one in the shoulder, but manages to get away out the front door as the goons do not chase him.

He goes to see his moll, the appropriately named Molly Mitchell. She had declined Augie’s invitation that night, assuring he would be alone at the restaurant.  He tells her to beat it, and throws her out of the house he puts her up in.

The mob dngrareobjects13octor is able to stitch him up, but tells him he was lucky the bullet that wasn’t an inch to the left or right.  He also proscribes that Augie retire to help his blood pressure, “stop drinking like a fish and eating like a hippo.”  Augie does want out. His big plan is to “someday get a razor and they’ll need a bucket brigade to clean up the mess.” C’mon, it’s Mickey Rooney, 5 or 6 Solo Cups will do. The doctor gives him an address of Dr. Glendon who can keep him alive, but at a steep price.

Rooney arrives at one of Night Gallery’s frequently used sets, and meets Dr. Glendon. Rooney lets him know he doesn’t like the doctor’s rules, not being able to tell anyone he was coming here, and having to come alone.  He calls Augie a racketeer just to be clear.  He promises Augie a long comfortable life, “free of fear, devoid of worry, absolutely without fear or tension of any kind.”  All he has to do is give Glendon everything he owns.

ngrareobjects14Rooney protests that he is just a lowly hood, but Glendon knows better and tells him that he is the best in his field.  He reads off a list of the times that Rooney has almost been hit.  Rooney says he doesn’t “want to hear a list of how many times I’ve been fingered” for which I can’t blame him.  Once a year at my annual check-up is plenty for me.

Glendon drugs his wine and promises to give him the fountain youth.  He leads Augie down a short hall and shows his collection.  First is Anastasia, missing daughter of Czar Nicholas (71).  She is behind bars but seems content in a living room setting doing needlepoint.  In the next cell is Judge Crater (83),  Beside him is Adolph Hitler (83), paging restlessly around his office setting.  And Amelia Airhart (75) who seems to be charting a route at her desk.  None of the group acknowledges Rooney or their captor.  It is also interesting how young, or at least plausibly alive, these historic figures were at the time.

ngrareobjects15The last cell is, of course open and reserved for Rooney.  As he is locked in, Glendon assures him he will live a very long time.

So what’s the point?  At first I assumed the orange hallway of cells was going to represent Hell, and Glendon the Devil — I’m a sucker for a good Devil or purgatory story.  But Hitler seems to be the only resident that would belong there.

Frankly, I’m not much of a Mickey Rooney fan and he seems terrible here.  That and the ambiguity of the captivity make this a fairly dull outing.  OK, it isn’t Hell.  But why aren’t any of the prisoners acknowledging them?  Why do most seem content?  Is Airhart really thinking she is going to take another flight?  Do they remain drugged forever? Only Crater and Hitler seem perturbed at their captivity.

ngrareobjects16Post-Post:

  • Twilight Zone Legacy:  Mickey Rooney had a good, if talky, role in The Last Night of a Jockey.  David Fresco had a slightly lesser role as “Man” in The Gift.
  • Roald Amundson is also a captive. At 100, he would have been the oldest. It still amazes me that Hitler could have easily been alive when this aired.

Tales From the Crypt – Beauty Rest (S4E5)

tftcbeautyrest01Mimi Rogers is auditioning for a commercial. The camera starts on the nape of her neck, and she says, “What’s your favorite part of a woman, the nape of the neck?”  The camera pans across her back and she says, “The line of her back?”  Then she says, “or the shape of her breasts?”  I though we had established a rhythm here; the cameraman really lets us down on that last one.

She is advertising a perfume called Ballbuster.  It’s not for just any woman, it’s for the woman who means business.

The director is effusive in his praise.  As far as he is concerned, she has a job — tftcbeautyrest02cut to Mimi saying, “What do you mean I didn’t get the job?” to her agent.  Mimi is worried that she has been at this for 10 years and hasn’t gotten a break.  Worse, she finds out that her young beautiful roommate (Kathy Ireland) got the part.

Really, the rest is kind of a snooze.

Some reviews say the episode is saved by a twist ending, but it is really tftcbeautyrest03kind of stupid.  The Pageant for Miss Autopsy is asinine — you have to have some basis in reality to be effective.  And the special effects on Mimi Rogers are ludicrous, not remotely resembling an autopsy incision.

Post-Post:

  • Title Analysis:  Non-Sequitur.
  • Even the cover art is terrible — no one is hanged in this episode.
  • Complete waste of Mimi Rogers, Buck Henry and Kathy Ireland.