For anyone who thought the Home episode of The X-Files was too much of a light-hearted romp, this is the episode for you. It might have dipped too much into realism (like Megan is Missing) for my taste. If this is what you’re looking for, though, bon appetite — this is great stuff. Spoilers ahoy.
Young Shane Watkins and a couple of pals are checking out his horse Ginger who will be having babies in a couple of months. They are wary of neighbor old man Jennings walking by. They have reason to be concerned as he 1) is carrying an axe, and 2) is portrayed by Jack Palance.
The rumor is that old man Jennings shot an encyclopedia salesman and buried him behind his barn. Also that his mother was a witch. He lives on a farm bordering Shane’s in a house with several No Trespassing signs.
Occasionally, Shane has ignored the signs and snuck over to fish at a fishin’ hole on Jennings’ property. And by “snuck”, I mean walked across a large open yard in broad daylight.
One day, as he is sneaking to the fishin’ hole, he checks out behind the barn just to be sure. There is indeed a mound of fresh dirt. Well, looks like dirt on You Tube, but I’ll give Shane the benefit of the snout when he says it is just cow manure.
Jennings catches him. As Shane runs away, he accidentally switches on a combine. Or maybe it is some other piece of farm machinery, but I like the sound of the word combine so all farm equipment is combines to me. Jennings, following closely behind, trips and his hands get caught in the gears. Shane’s mother then emasculates me by knowing that the machine was an auger rather than a combine.
One night, from his window, Shane sees Jennings standing at the barbed wire fence separating their properties. Barbed wire fences make good neighbors if you live next to a pissed-off Jack Palance. Tragically, he lost both arms in the auger. Also tragically, the dolt from the county who is helping him has dressed him in a button-up coat.
The next day as Shane is working on the horse, or whatever it is that you do in a barn, Jennings shows up. He tells Shane’s father that the boy has been naughty — Shane has been trespassing on his property to fish. The thing about causing him to have his arms chewed off does not come up.
In exchange for whatever fish he caught, Shane’s father offers his son’s services to help Jennings out until his prosthetics arrive. The next day, Shane knocks but gets no response. As in every show I have watched for this blog, Shane just walks right in. He is startled when Jennings comes out wearing a short-sleeve shirt. As am I.
Jennings puts Shane to work cleaning the gutters where he nearly falls, and does badly cut his hand. Later in chopping wood, his hand starts to bother him, but he is not going to mention this to the guy whose arms he destroyed.
While Jennings is at the hospital for rehab, Shane sees a brown mound that really is dirt. Shane naturally digs it up. It contains a blanket belonging to his horse . . . Jennings severed arms are also wrapped up in it. The episode is so good I won’t question how he buried this stuff with no arms.
The next day, when Shane goes to Jennings’ house, the old man is bobbing for soup. It is just very sad to see his face covered with food, and him have to ask Shane to feed him. On the plus side, Jennings does say it is time to do some auguring. When it jams, Jennings suggests that Shane stick his arm in there.
At the end of 2 weeks, Jennings actually pays Shane for his time. As Shane goes to leave, he tells him to take Ginger’s blanket saying , “I won’t be needing it no more.” As he arrives home, Ginger is giving birth — to a foal with no legs.
I was pretty satisfied at that ending. The accident was squirm inducing, and seeing a beautiful horse suffer for the accident was tragic. But then, holy shit . . .
Jennings is again staring at Shane from across the barbed wire. His parents console him that there was nothing that he could have done, but that the horse will have to be destroyed. On a happier note, his mother says she is going to have a baby. Jennings continues smiling in the moonlight.
I give this one 5 out of 5 bushels.
Post-Post:
- Jack Palance was in the classic Shane.
- For anyone who didn’t get it, no-neck says in his epilogue that Shane will find out in nine-months how vindictive Jennings is. So, apparently, his mother is zero-days pregnant. That must have been some conception last night.
- And Jennings could have been a little more focused with his vengeance. Yeah, sucks to be Shane; but it sucks more to be his little brother.
A woman is hit in the hat by something too small to be a dead bird, and the doorman sees a pair of eyeglasses shatter on the sidewalk. Clearly neither of them needs glasses as they are able to spot Carl Adams on the ledge 17 floors up. I’ll say this for people who go out onto ledges — they always seem to pick the ledge that has the best exposure. No one ever threatens to jump into the alley or down into an obliette-like courtyard.
Police Sargent Barrett climbs out on the ledge to talk him out of jumping.
In another flashback, the man finds Liz unconscious in their home with an empty prescription bottle in her hand. He finds a suicide note. “
A couple of antique store hustlers spot George Hanley at the door immediately after mentioning an “unsuspecting sucker.” They manage to high-pressure the rube Hanley into buying a brass lamp for $20 which is worth millions if properly used.
He is greeted at home by his motley (or 
Hanley sits at a piano and mopes. He spots a girl hiding beneath the piano who claims she is too young too drink. “In the years, I am a child. But I think I am mature.” This potentially interesting — and felonious — interlude is cut short when the girl discovers that Hanley is not a producer, just a stage-husband. Hanley discovers Ann is having an affair with her leading man Unable to get the girl even in a fantasy, he is yanked back to reality.
Back in reality, Hanley finally comes to a decision about what to wish for. We next see the brass lamp being retrieved from the garbage by a hobo-American. When he rubs it, out comes the Genie formally known as George Hanley. He has not only increased the Genie unemployment figures by one, he has diluted the wish-value by going back to three, and has embraced the Genie stereotype by dressing like 
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Little things matter. Usually little things matter correspondingly little; but you never know. Thus, it was not taken as a good omen that the packaging for the series was among the worst in history, or at least since the 
The Inside: Opening the case creates two disappointments. The first is immediate as a little black rubber ring falls out onto your lap and rolls under the desk behind the power-strip where it is difficult to reach and you realize how long it has been since you vacuumed (your yardage may vary). This is used to protect the the facing DVDs from scratching each other — that would be the double-sided flipper DVDs with no listing of the Titles on them.
The very first shot is simple but feels perfect — a nicely composed muddy road with the remains of a snowstorm still piled on the sides. An SUV roars by carrying the brain-trust of Point, Lemon, Diego and Navarro. Lemon is taking care of the injured Navarro in the back seat. Telling Diego to stop smoking like a chimney might have helped. We are left to put the pieces together, but it is pretty clear that they had a Reservoir Dog Day Afternoon — just with a lot more flannel.
After a few interesting shots of Lemon dragging the canoe across the snow, they arrive at an old fort. Again, the show exceeds expectations — this is not only a great, substantial wooden fort, it has an unsettling array of animal horns and antlers plastered across its face. As with every show I’ve watched for this blog, the men have no hesitation in opening the door and walking right in.
Virginia, quite the little Rambo, then manages to whack Lemon in the head and string him up by his feet. Point finds a room full of license plates hanging by strings. The girls have been luring men, and not in the good way. What appeared to be pieces that had fallen off the truck were actually junk left in the road by the girls to force stranded travelers to their fort. As long as they feed the creature, it will stay within the fort and not go out into the world. That is the titular sacrifice the girls have made.
Post-Post: