We open in Ferguson’s Wax Museum. Do these things even exist anymore? [1] Mr. Ferguson himself is leading a tour which includes two sailors on the tamest furlough since Gomer Pyle went back to Mayberry. After checking out waxy Marie Antoinette [2] (who is sadly not topless in either sense of the word), they move on to waxy Cleopatra. This place ought to be called the Museum of Murdered Women.[3]
Next they are led to “the most infamous black-hearted killers of all time.” They first meet the flesh-and-blood curator Martin Senescu who introduces them to the Murderer’s Row exhibit:
- William Burke & William Hare – They suffocated their victims with pillows, frequently prostitutes.
- Henri Desire Landru – French serial killer of spinsters and lonely widows.
- Jack the Ripper – English serial killer of prostitutes.
- Albert W. Hicks – A mate on an oyster boat who killed his entire crew with an axe. Given the attitude of this museum, I have to suspect that it was an all-girl crew.
Martin Balsam is excellent as Senescu. He is clearly devoted to this exhibit, and is slightly creepy. He steps on a switch that causes Mr. the Ripper to slash away with his knife. This is a pretty good gag, but freaks out the sailors who “blow this creepy joint.”
Later as Senescu is dusting Landru, Ferguson tells him that the museum is going to close so he can sell the location a company for a supermarket. Ferguson decides not to open a new museum because, even 60 years ago, he sees this is a dying industry. He reasons that people see too much horror in every day life.
Senescu asks to buy the wax figures as he can’t bear to see them destroyed; although, he doesn’t seem to care much for Cleopatra and Marie Antoinette. Movers deliver the figures to Senescu’s house. He installs the exhibit in the basement which he has rigged up with a new industrial strength air conditioner.[4]
Weeks later, Senescu’s very patient wife is concerned that her husband still has no job and the new A/C is costing a fortune. Senescu seems to spend all his time in the basement acting as a valet for his new friends. Emma tells her brother Dave about the problems she is having with her husband. He suggests that sabotaging the A/C might solve the problem.
That night, Emma sneaks down to the basement to take care of the A/C. She is creeped out by the figures, but makes her way to the plug. As she reaches to unplug it, Jack the Ripper’s arm slashes toward her and she screams. The next morning, Senescu finds her dead on the basement floor and detects blood on Jack’s knife.
Fearing he will be blamed, Senescu buries his wife in the basement and repaves the floor. Emma’s idiot brother Dave — an incredibly obnoxious performance — stops by and becomes suspicious. After Senescu throws him out, he breaks into the basement. When he finds traces of Emma’s blood, Albert Hicks takes an axe to him.
Ferguson stops by and tells Senescu that a museum in Brussels wants to buy the figures. While Ferguson is measuring them for shipment, Landru garrotes him. When Senescu sees another dead body, he chews the wax figures out for betraying him. He grabs a crow bar to destroy them, but they become animated. They stiffly move toward Senescu claiming that he committed the murders, and fall on top of him.
At the Murderer’s Row home in Brussels, there is the titular new exhibit — Martin Senescu leaning on a shovel as he digs his wife’s grave.
After several very good 4th season scripts from Charles Beaumont, this one was a bit of a let down. Everyone has an off-week, but this one might be due to the fact that Beaumont’s deteriorating health forced him to farm the job out to another writer. There are a few rough edges that maybe Beaumont could have polished.
The causes of death are a little muddled. Emma’s murder could be related to the switch that Senescu revealed during the museum tour — was she murdered or did she just step on that switch which made the wax figure slash her throat? Dave’s murder is not seen which lends credence to the figures’ assertion that Senescu is the real murderer. Then when Ferguson is murdered, we actually see Albert Hawks strangle him. So are the murders 1) accidents, 2) committed by Senescu, or 3) committed by the wax figures?
When the wax figures advance on Senescu, how does he die? He is portrayed as a murderer in the titular new exhibit, so it must have been a heart attack. If he had been axed, suffocated, slashed or strangled, he would have been considered just another victim.
All of that is mostly just being churlish. The strength of the episode is in Martin Balsam’s performance as Senescu. He and Will Kuluva as Ferguson ground the episode. Despite a few rough spots, this is still a good episode in the unfairly maligned 4th season.
Post-Post:
- [1] Apparently they do exist, and there are even a couple of chains. Here is fun article from Vice about a visit to one.
- [2] Like Cersei on Game of Thrones, Marie Antoinette was put on trial for multiple crimes including incest. Both had their hair cut off and were stripped naked (Marie at least got to put on a simple white dress (in front of her guards)). Both were paraded through town to the jeers of the peons. Marie was tied up, but at least got to ride in an open cart while Cersei was perp-walked naked on foot. On the plus side, they didn’t chop off Cersei’s head at the end of the trip.
- [3] It is not clear whether Cleopatra was murdered or committed suicide-by-snake. It is interesting that, like Cersei and Marie, her downfall was a nude-fest. Several paintings (many sharing the unimaginative title The Death of Cleopatra) portray her as topless at her death.
- [4] Oder, auf Deutsch.
- Martin Balsam was last seen in The Equalizer.
Police Officer Harry Siegel is appropriately interrogating a low-life about a missing boy. And by “appropriately,” I mean he ties him up, pounds him in the face and threatens to cut out an eyeball if he doesn’t talk. The scumbag gives up the boy’s location — uh, upstairs. Really, you couldn’t even search the house before going all Jack Bauer on him? The pervert plans on inflicting a little off-book punishment of his own. Just before saving the taxpayers a million bucks, he tells Siegel that he will never let him forget this night.
The next day, he meets with Meredith Kane. She is another woman suspecting her husband of having an affair. She wants Siegel to get the evidence “to make him pay.” She says there is a run-down house conveniently across the street from their home where Siegel can set up his surveillance equipment.
He sees a lot of other crazy shit in the house. Finding himself locked in, he turns and sees dead Rory Bemell standing there with a knife. He says, “I didn’t deserve this, Harry.” He tells Siegel that a girl Siegel burned was innocent and now lives in pain. And a kid he kicked senseless turned out to be a witness.
This is the first episode on the disc, but the second episode to air. It makes me suspect that this was to be the premiere, but 
Tim Hathaway is knocking back the hooch. This show is so old, you could only get 3-year old scotch back then. Heyoooo, I’ll be here all weekend! I mean right here, on the couch.
Tim confronts Joanne about the mysteries and she admits that she has changed. She has also discovered that she can control objects with her mind. As proof she makes a statue topple over and shatter — pretty racy for 1951 TV, the statue was topless. She believes she is evolving to “a brand new kind of human being.” Her night table now groans under the weight of thick books on physics. Say, a woman reading science books — that is crazy!
In the Berkeley Electronic Lab, Tim begs her to come back to him. She says she is the first of a new race, a new kind of being. In a nifty scene, she goes through a door to get her coat. A few seconds later, Jim checks the door and sees that it is just a broom closet and Joanne has disappeared.
A great deal of potential was squandered in this episode. The idea of the woman evolving was a great concept. In fact, it was so great that they used it again in another 
Little Brian seems to be a bit of a firebug. When we first meet the 7-year old, he is getting quite the little campfire going in the backyard, but he ain’t camping.
At lunch, Mom throws the lighter at the Dad, blaming him for Brian’s indiscretion. Mom repeatedly protects Brian against suggestions from the others that some punishment might be in order. Quite reasonably in this crazy family, Dad breaks out the scotch at lunch. Julia opines that “Dad is like an echo. A tiny pathetic reflection of whatever mother says.” He certainly echoes her attire — both sport an odd pairing of flannel shirts covering a turtleneck.[4]
Julia tries to tell this to her family. Brian says Mom says there is no such thing as ghosts. Dad says he has heard Mom say that. Julia correctly points out that the hunky handyman always seems to be working here but, like Ralph and Alf [2], he never seems to get anything done. She concludes that he must be a ghost.
Julia is suddenly transported back to the house. Now she sees that it is a burned out shell. Brian finally burned the house down. She realizes the handyman was horrified seeing her dead body, scarred by the fire. Mom is able to convince her to accept that they are dead. Once Julia buys in, they all continue living in the sunny day on the lakefront vacation home for ever and ever.
motivation baffling. Julia (Marla Sokoloff) really carried the episode, though. She was in every scene, sometimes just providing narration. She also played a few years younger than her age, in 20+ minutes convincingly portraying anger, teen angst, indifference, insecurity, crush-love and finally acceptance of her reality. She has a great career in shows I never watch.[3]