Poor Hubert. Even his chair emasculates him.

For the second night in row, we have a lonely man living with his parakeet.  At least Hubert tonight also has his mother At least Norman yesterday got a little peace and quiet.  Hubert Winters’ mother still treats him like a child.  She brings the 32 year old man his robe, covers his expenses, refuses to allow him to have a checking account, and kept him on her insurance until he was 26.

She says she knows he is unhappy because he has no job, but she is happy to have him there.  Without her son, she would have no reason not to cross the titular threshold to be with her dead husband Arthur; so Arthur is probably happy with the arrangement also.  She lets it slip that she still has her husband’s medicine which, taken in large doses, is fatal.

She worries that Arthur is not happy on the other side without her.  Hubert says he knows a young woman, and that she might be able to help her contact Le Morte d’Arthur.  Incredibly, the first part of that sentence is the less believable.

I don’t even want to think about what he brought to Irma.

Turns out, he does know a girl.  She is kind of a floozy.  She is happy to see Hubert, but disgusted when he says he must get back to his mother soon.  She is an actress and he reminds her of the time she played a medium in a play.  Hubert wants her to pretend to contact his father.

Later that week, Irma goes to Mrs. Winter’s house dressed in either a hijab or a Moe Howard wig.  Irma says she will go unconscious and Princess Artiti (Egypt, circa 1375 BC) will speak through her.  Oh, and the princess married her brother, which explains why this is the only AHP episode available on Pornhub.

Irma tells Mrs. Winters to concentrate on her husband.  Then she begins channeling the princess in a falsetto voice.  Mrs. Winters laps this up through her false set o’ teeth. ^[1]  Irma miraculously pierces the veil of this earthly plane and speaks with Arthur.  He responds with 1) a detailed description of the afterlife, 2) proof that there is a heaven, 3) Saturday’s lottery numbers?  No, he says he misses his old sofa.  Mrs. Winters gasps as that is sooo Arthur. ^[2]  Unfortunately, Arthur fades away.

OK, I’m a little curious.

The next night, Irma returns,  She fraudulently summons the princess, and the princess fraudulently summons Arthur.  Sofie has a question for him.  She just wants to know if he is happy.  Arthur tells her he misses her and that he is “lonely on this shore.  I wait for you.  I need you.”  Sofie tells Arthur she will come to him immediately.  After Irma leaves, she tells Hubert she will go to Arthur tomorrow night.

Sofie spends the next day doing things no sane person would do if they were going to do something no sane person would do that night.  She is paying bills, canceling magazine subscriptions, dusting.  She sends Hubert to the store to buy shelf paper for the birdcage since can’t wait for the Times to be delivered tomorrow morning.

There is a twist, but the real twist is how mediocre the twist is for an AHP episode.  Of course, Sofie ends up poisoning Hubert so the family can be together.  Yes, he was a momma’s boy, but there was really no suggestion that this might happen.  His mother was just nutty and ready to die, not a psychopath.  Plus, how did she know he would be drinking the poisoned booze at just the right moment?

There was a nice bit of business with her continually finding tiny chores that delayed her drinking her own poison.  Sadly, the suspense that should have flowed from this scene is torpedoed by the two leads.  Sofie is more annoying than overbearing.  Her son is so whipped that it is impossible to feel anything for him.

A rare misfire from AHP.

Other Stuff:

• AHP Deathwatch:  All have crossed the threshold.
• ^[1]  Shamelessly stolen.  I mean, it’s an homage.
• ^[2]  I must admit I misunderstood Irma.  She relayed that Arthur missed his “comfortable old Sofie”, not sofa.  Although it was probably a little of both.