Host John Newland tells us, “we are about to go beyond the gay grinning face of the circus into the very private world of the Flying Patruzzios.” Had they really wanted to get dramatic, the episode would have been about the clown car which now has only 2 passengers due to COVID social distancing.
Said Patruzzio’s are backstage preparing for their next performance in the Big Top. Mario is a typical angry hot-head movie Italian like Sonny Corleone when he beat up Carlo, or the toll booth operator when Sonny showed up with a $20 bill. Mario is pissed at being treated like a child. Well, he is 34 years old. However, Mama Patruzzio just wants to be sure her bambino is ready for his death-defying trapeze act (i.e. doesn’t go BAM! BINO!). Also learned from The Godfather: Italian women over 30 have no names.
His father Gino nags him about his “fantasy wife” Carlotta which is puzzling because she actually is his wife. I guess it is because she speaks to men outside the family. Gino rants that people are laughing behind their backs and it could not possibly be because of their stereotypical, loud, hand-waving arguing or glittery skintight unitards.
But they set that aside when it is showtime. As always, the One Step Beyond production looks great. The Flying Patruzzios are preceded by an elaborate act featuring many horses. They are enthusiastically received by the ladies, gentlemen, children and flies of all ages.
The Patruzzio’s act fortuitously takes place “80 feet” in the air, presumably to allow some clean-up after the horses. They begin with the standard trapeze act. It is simple, but even today is pretty thrilling and beautiful. There is nothing technology can do to improve (i.e. ruin) the harmony of gravity, timing, and strength needed for the act. Gino and Mario swing out on their trapezes. Then Gino flips into Mario’s hands. Then Mario flips back to his trapeze and swings back to the platform. Cool.
Then the ringmaster announces that they will continue the act without a net. Which is a metaphor meaning they are working without . . . oh wait, I guess that’s where that came from.
The Carnies Local 763 (named for the number of fingers the 100 members have) take down the nets and the Patruzzios step out onto the platform. Mario swings out to grasp Gino’s arms. They seem to have made a solid connection, but Gino’s arms slide out of Mario’s grip. Gino falls 80 feet, although I think about 40 of them are shills. Whether the fumes of the horse shit finally rose to that level, or it was the olive oil sandwich Mario just had is not made clear.
Mario miraculously survives and is taken to the hospital. Sadly, the doctor says he will live, but be completely paralyzed. Mama Patruzzio says that Mario, as the oldest, should see Gino first. He is so wracked with guilt that he runs from the hospital. When he goes home that night, Carlotta is already in bed.
She says it would have been better if Gino had died. When she describes him as a mummy and as looking creepy, Mario explodes. She gets in a good zinger, telling her husband, “I saw him — you didn’t.”
Gino is no longer interested in risking his life for a living, so he goes to the unemployment office downtown. OK, after that, he is no longer interested in risking his life. Shockingly, he discovers that his life on the trapeze has no more qualified him for a job in the real world than being a senator for 36 years would.
Hey Mannix, lock that down!
He returns to the Big Top, by which I mean Carlotta — heyyooooo! [1] Sadly, she is leaving him. This is the final straw. Mario goes back to the circus and climbs to the trapeze platform. He swings out on the trapeze and does a flip into the void. However, a pair of hands miraculously catch him. Somehow he is back on his trapeze swinging safely to the platform. The other trapeze is empty.
Mario believes this was the ghost of his father saving his life. He finally rushes to the hospital to see his father, expecting him to be dead. The nurse says he is alive and still paralyzed. However, she says an hour ago he startled her by suddenly stretching out his arms, but she thought he was just going for her ass.
John Newland returns and says this was a case of “bi-location”. A few weeks ago in The Return of Mitchell Campion, he called the same phenomenon “teleportation”. I guess when you use basically the same hook every week, you differentiate them however you can.
So, another episode of OSB working in their narrow slice of the genre. But, as always, they put on such a good show, that I have to give them credit for a win. Also, bonus points for finally setting another episode in the USA! [2]
Other Stuff:
- [1] Yvette Vickers (Carlotta) was Miss July 1959 in Playboy. In 2010, her mummified body was found at home after she had been dead for a year.
- [2] This is only the 9th episode out of 15 to be set in this country.
- Also on TV that night: Wyatt Earp, The Rifleman, Laramie and Bronco. Bet they didn’t have no episodes set in France.
- Italian Mario Patruzzio was played by Mike Connors — an Armenian born as Krekor Ohanian in Fresno. Only in America!
This somehow illustrates that “as man evolved, he relied on brains more than brawn.” However, “man eventually understood the benefits of physical fitness . . . programs of health and body-building are world-wide. All sorts of gadgets and machines exercise our muscles.” And that’s just so we can try to break our gym contract.
Ace reporter Jim Dale witnesses this and comments that Britt has recently grown 2 inches, put on a lot of muscle, and sure has a purty mouth. The journalist runs from the Coach’s office determined to learn Britt’s secret and find a way to blame it on 10 year old Donald Trump.
