What is this shit? asks the most famous review in rock history.  I know the feeling.

I dubbed the previous episode “the one where they just gave up” and this entry proves me right. The big name directors are gone, the famous actors are gone, it’s as if they turned the show over to a crew that had never seen it before.  Where is the camp?  Where is the humor?  Where is the bold color palette?  All that’s left to signify TFTC is that odious Crypt Keeper.

This episode is a somber chore to watch.  Richard and Della’s marriage is on the rocks.  It seems mostly due to Richard’s passivity, insecurity, depression, career problems, and inability to get Della pregnant.  Della is no prize either as she seems much more alive whenever their friend Alan is around, and makes no secret of it.

They go out for a cruise on Alan’s yacht, and are are on an anniversary vacation paid for by Alan.  Della sees this as a generous gift from a successful old friend, but Richard thinks Alan is rubbing his wealth in his face and trying to steal Della.

Richard is certainly given every reason to worry about Della leaving him for Alan.  Clearly Alan is an exponentially better catch.  He is also constantly flirting with Della, jokingly grabbing her thigh, kissing her, having conversations clearly not meant for Richard’s ears.

This is in no way a Tales From the Crypt episode until the last few seconds which are painfully predictable.

Richard’s performance is dreadful.  We really don’t give a damn about him and it is torture to watch him on screen.  The rest of the cast is OK, but saddled with other problems.

The script, which doesn’t play fair,  took three writers, two of whom have zero other screenplay credits.  The third writer, who is also the director, must shoulder the blame.  The unimaginative script, gooey with the oppressive melodrama of Lifetime at its worst, and set to a plodding score is just deadly.

This is shit.  There is not a single episode of Ray Bradbury Theater or a single film in the $5 20 movie box set that I would not watch again before this excrement.

I rate it zero out of three.

Post-Post:

• Director David Burton Morris had a weird 1999 directing both The Sonny and Cher Story and The Partridge Family Story.
• IMDbs: A new category in which I question the validity of IMDb’s ratings.  This episode is rated 5th best of season 2?  I call BS.