I kept waiting for it to begin; then I kept waiting for it to end.
Samuel is tapping his cane along a hallway in a group home for the blind to find the bathroom, or so the other residents hope. It sounds a little funny to him, so he feels around and realizes the doorway has been bricked over. “He’s bricked up the goddamn bathroom again! Son of a bitch!” Think about that. OK, I guess manager Arnie Grunwald is a cheap nogoodnik, but what is the end-game here?
- Was this somehow saving money?
- Things are going to get nasty without a bathroom.
- How was this done without the blind residents knowing? What happened to that super-hearing?
- And we are told he did this again. So did he brick it over before, unbrick it, and just rebrick it?
For more laughs, Grunwald rolls a bucket of marbles down the hallway. The elderly blind man falls and Grunwald howls with laughter. That’s just not funny . . . although it might have been if the freakin’ director had only pointed the camera that way. At least Benny the janitor is sympathetic; to Grunwald’s disgust.
The home receives a new resident, a young blonde woman named Sheila. Grunwald says the county has placed her there for six months. He tells her if she knows what’s good for her, she will do things his way. Benny takes her to the group bedroom which is dark and filthy.
She feels around for a window to sneak out of, but they are boarded up. Samuel says Mr. Grunwald figures blind people don’t need light. Their only DVD is, cruelly, The Quiet Place. Then a train goes by which creates a deafening noise, shakes the room, and for some reason causes the lights to briefly flicker on and off.
Grunwald offers Sheila a way out if she will provide him a girlfriend experience. She spits in his face, which is ala carte unless you purchase the premium package. He has Benny escort Sheila back to the sleeping quarters. She reveals to Samuel and a woman named Armelia that she lifted a pocket-knife off of Benny. They escape their quarters along with a man who was attacked by Grunwald’s dog.
Another distraction: Why are they wearing sunglasses? I know blind people wear dark glasses, but the usual reasons don’t apply here. They are trapped inside, so inadvertently staring into the sun isn’t an issue. [1] And there is no one else around but blind people, who is going to see them? Grunwald and Benny, but they aren’t too concerned about looking good for those two idiots. Although Sheila does keep wearing that snappy beret.
Of course, the escape attempt does not work, but the episode is too blah to continue. It just doesn’t work that 90% of the episode is so dark. I get the reason, but the way it was shot was not handled well. Properly done, it would have been effectively contrasted with Grunwald’s lighted areas, and given some greater meaning. Here, there was nothing beyond him having lights and them not.
The ending should have been fantastic with angry blind people getting revenge, a starving attack dog, walls lined with razor blades, and a girl in a beret. Sadly, the look and the score just didn’t support the concept.
The same story was done much better in the 1972 Tales from the Crypt movie. I actually gasped at the movie’s ending with the dog and the razor blades. Watching that scene in both productions is a great illustration of what a little artistry can do.
Other Stuff:
- Title Analysis: Hunh? Revenge is the Nuts? Was “the nuts” a thing in the 90’s like “the shit”? It might have been worth this tedious episode if the killer dog had gone right for his nuts at the end. If he had done it at the beginning, it would have been even better.
- [1] Is that even an actual reason for wearing the glasses? They’re blind, not stupid.