Tales From the Crypt – House of Horror (10/27/93)

tftchorrorhouse01I don’t really get the whole fraternity concept.  But then I’m not much of a joiner; also not much of a being-asked-to-joiner.  The episode starts off with almost-naked Wesley Crusher in just his tightie-whities scrubbing the floor with a toothbrush.

For anyone thinking of doing their own blog, let me offer this advice:  If you are viewing this episode at Panera Bread, sit with your screen facing a wall [1].  I also have to think Subway would be a little sensitive to this scene also after recent events.

We open at the frat house, populated as always on-screen by drunk bullies reading naughty magazines.  Kevin Dillon enters swinging a pledge-paddle — another tradition I don’t get.  Wesley, kneeling, addresses him as “Grand and Glorious Pledge-Master Wilton, Sir.”  Dillon helpfully points out the dog poop that he has just tracked in.  Before Wesley can get to work, Dillon tells him to kiss the bottom of his shoe.  The last pledge who refused was hazed to the point of having a nervous breakdown.

Polynesian Night?  What the hell kind of cultural appropriation is that?  Trigger warning!

Mona from Delta Omega Alpha drops by offering her new chapter to be a sister to the frat; although a sister you could totally do it with. She invites them over for dinner just to assure them it isn’t a “doghouse.”  That night, Wesley and 2 other pledges are blindfolded and taken to a haunted house.

Then some stuff happens, and the episode ends.  Its all perfectly fine and perfectly predictable.  The fake haunted house is really haunted.  Well, not exactly haunted, but there will be blood. The ending is a non-sequitur, not the ironic twist you hope for in a good TFTC.

The high point is Kevin Dillon who is excellent, really getting into the campy spirit of the series.  The rest of the cast covers the talent spectrum, but there are some brutal line-readings here.

I rate it a 1.5 out of π.


  • [1] More Panera advice: try the Mediterranean Egg-White Breakfast Sandwich.  Holy crap!
  • Title Analysis:  I give it a pass assuming they were going for a “frat house of horror” reference.  But no great shakes.
  • Seems like a campy show like TFTC would have done more with the selection of the frat’s Greek letters.
  • But then, it took me a week to get Delta Omega Alpha’s acronym, so maybe I’m missing it.
  • There actually is a Gamma Delta Omega fraternity.
  • Based on 30 seconds of thinking back many years, it seems like some Greek letters are heavily favored over others.  I can understand not wanting to be identified as an Iota, but where are all the Mus, Rhos, Upsilons and Omicrons? Everybody can’t be an Alpha.  Just me, baby.
  • OK, Mu might be just asking for trouble for a sorority.

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