Ray Bradbury Theater – Gotcha! (S2E4)

Note to self:  Do not make “fine mess” reference as it is only 50% accurate.

This is not quite a twin spin.  There is a story in the Bradbury book called The Laurel and Hardy Love Affair which tracks the first few minutes of this episode fairly well.  However, the short story becomes a traditional melodrama like early Vonnegut, while the episode veers into horror.

Strangers John and Alicia attend the same costume party as singles.  Improbably, they have independently elected to attend dressed as characters who individually have absolutely no identity without the other.

This is especially strange for Alicia.  At least John has the gut, the black suit, the bowler, and the mustache to sell himself as Oliver Hardy.  In a pinch, he could also claim to be a fat Charlie Chaplin or Hitler.  Alicia really just has the hat.  Never-the-less, once they meet-cute, she does exhibit a pretty good Stan Laurel vibe.

Alicia takes him to a staircase famous from one of L&H’s movies.  She had been filming a commercial there earlier in the day.  Inexplicably, the crew left a piano case there, but nothing comes of it.

rbgotcha01Then they go to a diner and and commence one of the longest, least erotic public displays of affection in movie history.  It is even more uncomfortable when done by a couple role-playing 2 dudes.  Not that there’s anything wrong with that.  However, that is followed by a really nice montage of their courtship.

Then things get weird.  Alicia takes John to a fleabag hotel promising to play the titular Gotcha! game.

She gives John white pajamas to wear, lights a bunch of candles and tells him to remain completely silent until the alarm clock goes off.  There is a nice shot where she is standing at the end of the bed, and we are seeing John’s POV.  Alicia says “Gotcha” and sinks as if through the floor, although the bed blocks our view.

rbgotcha06After several largely pointless shots of the candles, John, the alarm clock, and the shower head, Alicia suddenly reappears with a pasty face and puts her bony fingers on John’s face.  “Gotcha!”

The alarm goes off and she is her cute self again.  “Gotcha.”  John is terrified, in tears, and she apologizes.  For reasons unknown, he goes with her back to the same diner.  He seems to be PTSDing pretty hard.  She asks if everything is OK, if he would like to play the game again tomorrow with the roles reversed.

He says no, but as she is leaving dejectedly he says, “Gotcha.”  He says it with the blankest possible face, and it is impossible to attach any valid analysis to the ending.  Sadly, botched endings are becoming the hallmark of this series.

Post-Post Leftovers:

  • Alicia says that the original scene with the piano case was filmed 4,000 miles away in Los Angeles.  Unless this episode takes place in Ecuador, that is just about impossible.
  • It is weird that they made the effort to have the crate be so similar to L&H’s in some ways (placement of the THIS END UP stencil), but not in others (placement of the cross beam).
  • Brad Turner went on to direct 46 episodes of 24 — almost 2 full days — so he is forgiven.
  • The Laurel and Hardy theme song, used way too much in this episode, is Dance of the Cuckoos.

The Outer Limits – The Sandkings (S1E1)

A George R.R. Martin twin spin!

sk01From now on, he will be permanently known for Game of Thrones, but long before that, Martin had done some anthology work on the revivals of The Outer Limits and The Twilight Zone.  He only provided the source material for this one, which is unfortunate because the episode deviates from the short story in many ways.  Standing alone, it is good episode — just not what I signed up for.

First of all, if you’re casting a brilliant scientist, Beau Bridges should not be high on your wish list.  Jeff Bridges?  Lloyd Bridges?  Todd Bridges?  On the list before Beau.

In a better bit of casting, his wife is played by 80’s babe Helen Shaver.  This is doubly welcome as she is not in the short story at all.

After one of his science experiments (tiny martians brought back in a soil sample) escapes the nest, the government shuts down his program.  Beau does the sensible thing, smuggles one of the creatures out of the maximum containment facility — where it still nearly escaped — and secures it in a barn.  But it has a padlock, so no problem.

Cringe-inducing actual quote: Charlton Heston, eat your heart out!

Cringe-inducing actual quote: “Charlton Heston, eat your heart out!”

Newly unemployed, Beau has plenty of time to observe the alien insects he brought home; and they are more entertaining than sea monkeys.  He feeds them mice, they build their first castle.  And then a 2nd castle as they begin choosing up sides — ha, they think they’re people!

Beau starts to get concerned as the ripples under the sand get larger, and some nasty pincers start sticking out.  But once he sees they revere him as a god, that seems OK.

The sandkings begin to demonstrate psychic abilities as they lure the new family dog down to their place for dinner.  Beau finds the dog’s collar in the their cage and makes it a little more secure by electrifying the cage.  He also tells them, no more snacks even though he will clearly have some Milk Bones going to waste.

castle02After poor Helen Shaver is then given the traditional sci-wife scene of nagging her genius husband, Beau goes to the barn for some peace and quite.  There he sees now two larger castles, with one sporting his face.  The castles are quite well-designed, although I think the face looks a little more like Lloyd Bridges.  Understandably, he smashes the one castle without his face on it, and tells its occupants to “get with the program”.

When one of them bites the hand that isn’t feeding them, he realizes that there might be trouble.  Things really go south from here as his family bails, a co-worker meets a bad end, the sandkings get feisty.  Actually, in rewatching parts of it, I think I liked it even more the 2nd time.

The short story has several differences and is also quite good.  It won both a Hugo and Nebulae, so it is a little surprising so many changes were made.  I think the SS had more of a horror vibe, and maybe they wanted to sci-fi it up more for the 1st episode of the revived Outer Limits.

Beau’s character (Simon Kress) in the SS is not a scientist, but an arrogant rich guy with a sadistic streak the size of King Joffrey’s.  On a planet that is not earth, he buys the sandkings at a pet shop.  The strange shopkeeper, and her willingness to sell these murderous creatures (who will clearly dominate the world) to some yahoo really made me think of Gremlins.

Kress takes great pleasure in starving the sandkings, forcing them into battles for the entertainment of guests.  They oblige by demonstrating great strategies, forming alliances, coordinating attacks, and making him some big coin betting on matches.

About halfway through the SS, the sandkings turn on Kress.  The last half is really straight-up horror as Kress tries to contain the problem and fails at every turn.  Someday that will also make a great show.

Post-Post Leftovers:

  • If you ever have the need to take notes while watching Hulu, get what you need the first time around.  They will make sure you watch every bloody commercial again if you try to review!
  • I refuse to call this a novelette.
  • A little in the episode, and more in the SS, you can see hints of Game of Thrones.  The sandkings are ruthlessly political in their alliances and battles.  They have their god, and his face on the castle might even be considered their sigil.
  • Kim Coates as yuppie dweeb?
  • Sadly, I was unable to work in The Dude.
  • The two women most involved with episode both have interesting stories.  Writer Melinda Snodgrass studied voice at a conservatory in Vienna, practiced law, wrote for Star Trek TNG, ran a natural gas company in New Mexico, and is now an accomplished equestrian.
  • I only knew of Helen Shaver as one of many 80’s babes that you never see anymore.  Now I see that she has kept busy as a director on a long list of TV shows including 6 episodes of The Outer Limits and several current shows.
  • Meanwhile, I’m in my underwear writing a blog post on Friday night.

Ray Bradbury Theater – The Fruit at the Bottom of the Bowl (S2E1)

bradbury02A Ray Bradbury twin-spin!

A few months ago I picked up the entire series of Ray Bradbury Theater on DVD for under 10 bucks.  The price should have been warning enough, but I did have dim memories of enjoying a few of them way back when.  Last year, I bailed after the first season, but have decided to soldier on to see if I was too hasty.

As luck would have it, the first episode I watched is based on a short story that appears in Bradbury Stories: 100 of His Most Celebrated Tales, which I recently downloaded to my Kindle.   So finally, I can brush off my mad compare & contrast skillz from freshman English.

No, seriously . . .

And I got an A every quarter . . .

Do I have to get my transcripts?

No one is going to watch this episode and recommend the series to their friends.  The synthy 80’s score is off-putting, and the whole thing looks like it was filmed through gauze of the same thread-count they use to film Barbara Walters (although that could just be the lousy DVD transfer of this dirt-cheap set).  However, in the context of an anthology series, and given when it was made, it interested me enough to at least try another episode.

ironside01The first surprise was Michael Ironside.  He has made a nice career out of playing tough guys, always in control.  This is the first time I remember seeing him in panic mode, sweating profusely, and always a step behind.  He completely pulls it off, having an anxiety attack that lasts most of the whole episode. He is assisted by some good make-up, costuming, and fish-eye shots, but major kudos to him for playing so believably against type.

His adversary is Robert Vaughn, who I don’t see much anymore.  I can only assume Superman III killed his career.  Geez, Christopher Reeve, Richard Pryor, Margot Kidder — and people think Poltergeist was cursed.  Jackie Cooper is gone too, but at 88, he had a pretty good run.

Vaughn is a publisher who has rejected Ironside’s work.  He is, however, very accepting of Ironside’s girlfriend Mary.  Through a series of flashbacks that make LOST look like a linear narrative, we follow Ironside as he attempts to remove his fingerprints after killing Vaughn.

As he descends into madness, the fingerprints begin appearing everywhere, taunting him like a visual Tell-Tale Heart. As he frantically cleans his fingerprints, both real and imagined, he realizes that Vaughn had been leading him on, luring him into touching object after object from a cocktail glass to pre-Columbian art.

Finally, after a night of frantic cleaning that would give Felix Unger the willies, that would sent the CSI crew to the nut-hut, that would have him polish more knobs than Jenna Jameson, the police arrive.  They lead him out in handcuffs which, come to think of it, would not have been possible for him at the end of Total Recall.

I’m not sure I follow the ending.  A neighbor, who is also Vaughn’s doctor, who happens to be at the crime scene, who conveniently forgets about doctor-patient confidentiality, spills the garbanzos that Vaughn only had less than a month to live due to cancer.  In fact, he says Ironside probably did Vaughn a favor.

OK, so Vaughn goaded Ironside into killing him and also made sure that plenty of evidence was left to incriminate him.  But to what end?  No mention is made of insurance.  And how does the mere presence of fingerprints incriminate Ironside?  And why set him up anyway?

The short story is a little different.  Very minor point, the girlfriend’s name is Lily, which is a better name than Mary (sorry, Mom).  And there is no mention of any terminal disease.  If the cancer twist had been worked into the show more elegantly, it might have worked.  As is, the short story was probably better off without it.

Post-Post Leftovers:

jenna01a

 

I saw Jenna Jameson on an episode of Family Guy this morning, so she was fresh in my mind.

Yeah, that’s where I know her from.