The Illusionist (2006)

illusionistcover01A Steven Millhauser twin spin!

The movie uses a flashback sequence to start in the same scene as the short story.  As a boy, Eisensheim encountered a traveling magician who performed miraculous tricks.  In the short story, he starts with coins from the boy’s ear; in the film, it is a frog, which is an improvement.

After a bit more conjuring and levitation, the wizard disappears, and by some accounts also the tree he was lounging under.  And maybe he also made off with the boy’s personality, because young Aaron Taylor-Johnson grows up to be the charisma-free star of Godzilla.

Paul Giamatti plays the role he always plays, Paul Giamatti.  In this case his character is Inspector Walther Uhl, who appears in both versions.  It is confusing to call Paul Giamatti by that other name when he is clearly Paul Giamatti, so lets just call him Inspector Giamatti.

The film and short story share the same early illusions.  As Eisenheim takes the stage, he removes  his black gloves, throws them in the air and they become ravens.  Both versions contain the Orange Tree illusion where Eisenheim plants a seed, grows a small tree and produces oranges in a few seconds.  The 2nd part of the trick has trained butterflies flying in with a handkerchief.  It is a callback to a handkerchief a volunteer gave him, but it just seems strangely separate from the Orange Tree trick part of the illusion.

illusionisttree01The film mostly stays with the source material as a large mirror is wheeled on stage, and a volunteer is taken from the audience.  Eisenheim directs the woman through a series of movements.  Naturally, the mirror image reflects those movements; until it doesn’t.  In both versions, but in slightly different ways, the volunteer’s reflection is stabbed as the actual volunteer watches motionless.  This miracle is disconcerting to the entire audience — the 5% at the necessary angle to view the illusion, and the 95% who fear they grossly overpaid for their seats.

Around this time, the film makes its biggest departure away from the short story.  True, the story as written might not have supported a feature-length film.  The filmmakers could have gone in at least two directions — playing up the fantastic elements of the story, or shoe-horning in a love triangle among Eisenheim, the Crown Prince of Austria, and the volunteer who was the Prince’s fiancee Sophie.  While still a great movie, I wish they had gone for option #1.

In the short story, the illusions get darker.  In Book of Demons, the titular book bursts into flames releasing “hideous dwarfs in hairy jerkins who ran howling across the stage.”  In Pied Piper, he causes a group of children to vanish.  When they return, some claimed to have been in a heavenly place, but others claimed to have “been in hell and seen the devil who was green and breathed fire.”  If there had been more of this, but still grounded by an abbreviated romance — GOLD!

The  rest of the film mostly plays out the love triangle which does not exist in the short story.   There is a murder, political intrigue, framing, suicide, more magic.  And mostly a happy ending.  Inspector Giamatti even turns out to be an OK guy.

illusionistjessicaThis is not the usual  blueprint for Steven Millhauser’s stories.  He frequently begins with a premise of something very big, or something very small, or something physically impossible and beats that premise to death.  But I mean that in the best possible way; examining the phenomena from many different angles, creatively tackling the implications.  It might be a town that maintains an exact duplicate of itself, women’s dresses that are as big as houses, paintings that seem to move, or an illusionist with who performs impossible feats.

The premise is the thing for Millhauser.  You don’t go in looking in for a love triangle with the Crown Prince of Austria.  I hope to cover more of his work later.

Post-Post Leftovers:

  • On Amazon, this is categorized as Movies & TV > Blu-Ray > Romance.  Such a lost opportunity.
  • Sophie’s name is mentioned exactly once in the short story.
  • Although in both versions, Eisenheim is clearly performing impossible feats, the short story makes more of a case for the supernatural.  The Orange Tree illusion, however, actually has an historical basis, even if it was tarted-up with the trained butterflies.
  • I read this in the collection We Others: New and Selected Stories.  I am happy to support the arts, but putting out a collection of 21 short stories where 14 have been previously collected is just effectively forcing me to pay 3 times as much for the new material.  Well, not forcing exactly, as I actually set foot in a public library for the first time in years.  Sorry, Steve-o.
  • And don’t get me started on the trade paperback scam.
  • I don’t generally give actors much credit for their craft, but you can pretty much depend on Edward Norton to be great in anything he does.
  • Handkerchief is a strange word; it is literally a hand kerchief.  But a kerchief is specifically defined as being a woman’s scarf.  It is one of those strangely literal words like fireplace that say just what they are with an almost caveman simplicity.  Ummm . . . . fire . . . place!

The Depraved (2011)

cover01Also known by the better, but oddly singular title Urban Explorer; on the other hand, The Depraved sounds oddly plural even though it’s really only one depraved guy.  The victims are mostly normal people that you don’t hate immediately — a rarity which earns this film an extra star immediately.

We start off with a few quick shots of Berlin that don’t really establish anything other than the location, and are strangely framed.  We see the Fernsehturm Berlin, the Brandenburg Gate, and one shot of some random graffiti (with a branch in the foreground that is, as an artistic choice, roughly equivalent to a boom mike in the frame).  We meet the first two explorers in a cafe with some really bizarre dialog:

Marie: Are you sending a love message to your boyfriend?  Juna (smiling):  My boyfriend?  He committed suicide.  Marie (concerned):  Suicide?  Juna:  I hope so!

Juna notices that Marie has a camera to document the night’s adventure.  To the relief of most viewers, it is not a hand-held video camera.  To the relief of Nikon, it is a Canon.  Juna grabs a waiter, plants one on him, and suggests that Marie take a photo to send to her boyfriend.  OK, you do kind of hate Juna immediately.

Next we meet Denis and Lucia sitting on top of an abandoned car, waiting for the others to join them.  Lucia is shocked, shocked that Denis did not tell her the other two were women.  Finally, their guide Dante arrives.  He leads them through a club to the portals of the underground.

selfie01For dubious reasons, everyone is going by a nickname.  Luckily the characters are few and distinct enough that it is easy to keep track of 1) real name, 2) nickname, and 3) nationality (as they are all from different places).  But having the Asian girl not be the one nicknamed Haiku is just tricky.

Dante is going to lead them to the Fahrerbunker where Hitler’s chauffeurs hung out.  He promises lots of interesting artifacts, wall-drawings and graffiti.  The government has sealed it off because they don’t want Neo-Nazis enshrining it.

There is a dust-up with a couple of musclekopfs that really amounts to nothing.  It does at least emphasize that there will be dangers other than rats, bats, eels and crumbing infrastructure.  Not sure how bats are getting into this sealed catacomb, but it was nice to see them.

During a rest break, Dante tells them about the Reichflugscheibe which is supposedly a spacecraft built by the Nazis.  Experiments were conducted on the crew.  They eventually went mad and turned on the doctors.  And some say they still roam these tunnels to this day . . . BWAH-HA-HA!!!  Dante actually seems to believe this as a reason for the extensive tunnel system.  It’s a German-thing, he explains.

naziart01After viewing the Nazi art collection & gift shop, they start back.  Dante is the last one across a thin metal beam crossing a chasm, looking like Indiana Jones in The Last Crusade.  Fortunately, the Grail Knight did not pop a flash in Indy’s face causing him to fall to certain death (although, he would have earned a place in heaven for sparing us Indy IV).  Sadly, Marie goes full-paparazzi, sending Dante south to the next level of Hell.

Marie and Juna go to get help as Lucia and Denis try to help Dante.  This where the fun would start in most movies, after slogging through 40 minutes of set-up.  But kudos here for making it so interesting up to this point with great atmospherics, a couple of chills and Nazi UFOs.

A new character drops in — literally — rappelling into the pit (because apparently everyone but me can rappel like Reinhold Meisner).  Naturally, he throws a scare into Denis & Lucia; when it appears to be Ron Perlman, he throws a scare into the audience.  This does not portend good things, but luckily it turns out to be Klaus Stiglmeier (who we hope is not known as the German Ron Perlman).

armin01Not-Ron-Perlman turns in a great creepy performance, capped by a stint as the least believable conductor in history.

The rest of the film plays out with twists, chases, suspense — everything you could hope for.  By now, it is almost impossible to come up with anything new.  It is enough to just just tell your story in the best way possible.  The Depraved pretty much pulls this off.  Recommended, just be prepared for Martyrs-like gore.

Post-Post Leftovers:

  • There are several DVD covers online under the original title, but only one has the plural.
  • Fernsehturm Berlin sounds impressive until you realize it is basically a TV antenna.  It ain’t the Burj Khalifa.
  • China, ahead of us again — now building new abandoned cities.
  • Ron Perlman seems like a good guy, but man, he is a bad movie barometer of Chevy Chasian proportions.
  • I had bookmarked a lot urban archaeology sites & posts over the years, and mostly never returned to them.  Ironically, I now find there is a large number of abandoned sites of the web-variety also . . .  fantasticdegradation.com, abandonedbutnotforgotten.com, historicdecay.com, and others.  RIP, see you soon!

Axed (2012)

axed00

 

I had seen this title in stores several times but was turned off by the cartoony cover art.  Eventually, I stumbled across it on NetFlix and decided to give a chance because 1) the cover, though still cartoony, at least lacked the Fangoria banner which makes it look even more cartoonier, and 2) free streaming!

I’m glad I did as this turned out to be a lot of fun, and I can easily recommend it.

 

It starts off with a title card that is completely unnecessary in retrospect.  It seems to be setting us up for a dystopian tale like Escape From New York or Soylent Green.

axed01In fact, dude (or should I say bloke since it turns out he is British) loses his job — that’s all that matters.  Just an aside — how is dystopian not in spell-check?  Hunger Games has been out for 6 years.

Director Ryan Lee Driscoll gets things moving immediately.  After a quick breakfast where the father Kurt goes Santini on the kids, berating his son for not being manly enough and his daughter for dressing like a tramp – they’re off!  Kurt seems to loosen up as drives the family out for a nice day in the country.

pick07After some car trouble, he leads them to a nearby farmhouse.  If you look closely, there is a pickaxe leaning against the wall.  And remember the principle of Chekhov’s Pickaxe – if there is a pickaxe in the first scene, by the end, it must be buried in someone’s skull (translations vary on this interpretation).

Once inside, Dad turns out to be positively chirpy.  Clearly this can’t last.  At times, he sounds a lot like John Cleese doing his Basil Fawlty slow-burn.  He then commences his breakdown which I will try to keep somewhat spoiler free.

Secrets are revealed, blood is drawn, fortunes are reversed, yada-yada.  Opportunities to put an end to Dad’s shenanigans are repeatedly squandered, another character shows up against all odds.  Standard horror movie fare.

But it is constantly entertaining, and moves along at a good pace.  It’s just – I can’t stop thinking about that bloody (well, not yet) pickaxe.

Much later, Driscoll pulls off a nice bit of business as Dad is in full meltdown mode (and never sounding more like John Cleese), strangling Mom.  Daughter Megan is in the bathroom, and hears screams.  She tries to get out, but Dad has rigged up a rope system that prevents the door from opening.  The cutting between the ropes on the door versus the necktie Dad is using to strangle Mom is Hitchcockian in its execution.

 

Son Jay finally grows a pair, and runs to get the pickaxe.

 

 

 

But wait – no, he has run past the pickaxe, into the house to get a regular axe.  Dude, your mother is dying – there’s a gardening weapon of individual destruction RIGHT THERE!  You passed it twice!

pick12I could nitpick a few other things:  A spare cellphone?  Who was that blue-sleeved man?  When Jay returns with chopped wood, it has clearly been sawed, not chopped.  The lighting in the woods is freakishly spotty.  I just can’t figure out what is going on with the lawn mower – do mowers not have wheels in England?  Are they hover mowers?  And I have hats with propellers bigger than that blade.  But none of that matters – it is a fun ride and well worth your time.

Post-Post Leftovers:

  • I was ready to mock Jay for his grip on the axe – choking way up, and probably looking pretty girly to his old man.  But as I thought about it, an axe is a pretty unwieldy weapon in a hostage situation.  Any dwarf with a dream can flail away while being attacked by a horde of Orcs.  But when your Dad is strangling your Mom, the wide swing is just asking for trouble.
  • That weird lighting prompted me to look up phases of the moon.  This moon had an illuminated right half, known as a 1st Quarter.  Half & half, so why is it called a Quarter?
  • No, the pickaxe was never used.  Suck it, Chekov.

Finally, I just noticed the license.  That is not going to help his innocent plea against premeditated murder.

Ryan Lee Driscoll is clearly an ax-man