Torment (2013)

torment01The movie opens with a prologue of a family at dinner time.  Mom and the daughter seem nice.  For no reason, the filmmakers opted to make Dad an asshole.

What is the obsession this genre has with making the victims assholes?  OK, it’s fun to see bad guys get what they deserve, but this guy is offed after we know him for 30 seconds.  Maybe he had a bad day.  Maybe he found out this morning he had cancer, maybe his family are the awful ones and we just happened to catch them in a civil moment.  Yeah, he is a jerk, but did he really deserve to be murdered?  You have to make a case in order for that to be cathartic, and it isn’t going to be made in 30 seconds for a character who isn’t even around long enough to have a name.

On the other hand, you can make someone likable and sympathetic pretty quickly.  Then kill them.

So, his put-upon wife is murdered, he is murdered, and the killers are approaching the teenage daughter when we cut away.  This prologue tells us that the killers are not making moral judgments, they just kill for no purpose.  Well, that’s not exactly true, but that sets up a twist at the end.

torment02We flash-forward to a much happier family driving to their cabin in the woods. Well, the young son is kind of jerky, but his father has just remarried after the death of his mother, so there is a solid pre-fab back-story for his jerky attitude.  However, I’m kind of a jerk because I have to point how how bad this kid’s performance is.

They arrive at the cabin which turns out to a huge house.  It all seems great until they see evidence that there have been squatters there — messy beds, dirty dishes.  Hey, maybe I have squatters at my place, too.

The killers have taken the heads off of the kid’s stuffed animals and made masks of them.  The masks and lack of motive have lead many people to make comparisons to The Strangers and You’re Next.  These are pretty superficial points, and apply to a lot of movies.  Yeah, there are some similarities, but Tormented is its own movie.

torment03Really no major complaints.  There is not much story to latch onto, or recap, or mock, or criticize.  It is mostly an exercise in style, and moving the pieces around the board.  It worked well enough for me.  I like the callback for the motivation.  The other twist just didn’t do much for me.  More of a reveal, really, and there really was no substance set-up for it to knock down.

The kid was not very good, and Katherine Isabelle was only OK.  She seems to have more presence when she has something to work with like lycanthropy or being a psycho medical student.  As a Mom, she was kind of blah, and became irritating because half her dialogue seemed to be yelling for her husband, “Coryyyy!”  This would still make a better drinking game than “Wallllllt!” on Lost, though, because you really need to already be drunk to sit through that.

The Tortured (2010)

tortured01The film starts off on an overpass where a man is frantically calling 9-1-1 about the kidnapping of his son.  His wife arrives home not knowing why the police are there, so I guess the husband didn’t bother to call and break the news.  The police detective does break the news in a very jarring manner.

In fact, almost everything seems off about this opening.  The leads, Elise and Craig do not register believable emotions, the staging is awkward, and the music does not work at all.

Things don’t get much better with the introduction of the kidnapper.  Bill Moseley has been in a 1,000 of these joints, but doesn’t fare too well here.  He has rouged his cheeks and is wearing a tiara as he yells at the kidnappee.

A couple of on-the-ball cops arrest Moseley in the first 10 minutes; but then the movie is named Torture, not Manhunt, so you kind of expect that.  Tragically, the boy is already dead.  This triggers a flashback of him being abducted right out of the backyard as Craig witnesses through a window.  He gives chase on foot, then by car, but loses them on the overpass.

Moseley works out a plea agreement to disclose where other bodies are buried in order to get a sentence that could result in him serving only 10 years. During a prison transfer, Craig and Elise drug the guards at a gas station and manage to steal the van with Moseley inside.  It takes much longer than expected for the drugs to kick in, yet when the van pulls over it is conveniently close to the dirt road turn-off to the torture-shack.

In a freak accident, Craig flips the van over a cliff avoiding a doe, a deer, a female deer. Luckily Craig and Moseley survive.  Well, not so lucky for Moseley.  Craig and Elise carry him to a cabin in the woods and explain how they are going to torture him.

tortured03The next 45 minutes are torture; and not just for Moseley.  Cigarette burns, needle to the ear drum, cramping drugs,  It would almost be unwatchable in an effective movie. Here it is cringe-inducing, but bearable.  Craig & Elise’s poor performances take some of the edge off.  Also, it is hard to take them seriously when Craig makes a point of showing Moseley that the key to his restraints is hanging on a nail just above his head. There is fore-shadowing, and then there is fore-eclipsing.

At one point, Moseley claims to have lost his memory in the crash and to not know who he is or why he is being tortured.  That brings up a fascinating dilemma — even if you are OK with torturing the man who murdered their son, is it still OK if he doesn’t know why he is being tortured?

Elise is not troubles by such nuances.  They try to jog his memory by tightening his foot in a vice, which always works for me.  They scream at him to say their son’s name.  He holds out much longer than I could have, but finally — muddying the finale — screams out the boy’s name.

tortured04We knew that the key would eventually be used, and Moseley manages to loosen his chains enough to reach the key which Craig brilliantly left in sight and within reach on a hook just above his head.

He makes it to the bedroom, but Elise hits him with a pipe.  As they are dragging him back the cellar, he kicks Craig down the stairs and runs off.  He is pretty spry for a guy whose foot was just turned to jelly in a vice and had his big toe cut off.

By this time, thanks to a nosy neighbor, the cops are closing in on the cabin.  Naturally, it turns out there were 2 prisoners in the van and the couple grabbed the wrong guy. They do look a lot alike; apparently even to a couple whose son he murdered, who have seen him in the courtroom and in newspapers and TV everyday for the past few months and who wanted nothing more than for him to die.

Sadly, the ending is thoroughly botched.  I can’t blame the writing; there could have been some intriguing twists and ambiguity in the right hands.  But it is fumbled so badly here that it is just frustrating.

tortured06I’m even willing to suspend disbelief and say that the prisoner was so injured and bloody from the crash that they didn’t see their mistake.  But how did this poor bastard yell out their son’s name?  The online typing heads are at odds over whether the couple mentioned it in his presence. Certainly, he could have heard it on the news or maybe Moseley bragged about it in prison.  But then, what of the amnesia?

In his confession written before he hangs himself, he apologizes for his crime, leading us to believe he was the murderer.  Or did the innocent man now believe he was guilty due to the torture?  I think it is clear what they were going for, they just bungled it.

Why did the killer hang around the house?  Why did the police not go directly to the house where they were specifically told that he might be?  Why did they stop looking for the 2nd prisoner after they found the first one?

Why do the police cruise past the turn-off at the end?  Is this back-up troops coming, then why are they driving past?  Is it the police taking the prisoner back, then why aren’t they coming out of the dirt road?

Do Craig and Elise know that it was the wrong man?

The sad thing is that in the hands of a competent director, this could have been made twisty and fascinating.  Director Robert Lieberman has a lot of credits, so maybe it was time and budget constraints.  Certainly he did not have much to work with in his lead actors.

Post-Post:

  • If this was meant to be an anti-torture statement, that is yet another level that it fails on.
  • The lead actors both have extensive resumes, which makes their work here even more baffling.  Maybe they were just miscast.
  • This is Marek Posival’s only writing credit, but he is active in the business.  Oddly, for the guy who wrote The Tortured, he sure does like Christmas:

tortured02

Antisocial (2013)

antisocial01A couple of teenage girls are working on a video blog about fashion when one of them commits the faux pas of bleeding from the face after Labor Day.  Girl # 2 is concerned about girl # 1. Then girl # 2 is concerned about girl # 2 as her friend attacks her. Girl # 2 gets the upperhand and uses it to club her friend to death with a blow-dryer.

Next we meet Sam (presumably short for Samantha), a hot Angelina Joliesque college student who is trying to reach her boyfriend.  When they finally connect via a Skype-like app, he uses that opportunity to dump her.  My sympathies were immediately with her, but when I saw her laptop was not an MacBook, I was hers.

She goes to a party that night which is is just an awful scene with alternating so-mo / fast-mo, techno noise, a wacky drunk guy of the type no one thinks is funny after age 14, and a self-centered diva with self-esteem far out of proportion to her looks.  This scene is jarringly out of synch with everything that precedes it; and, fortunately, also with everything that follows it.

antisocial08

L to R: Token minority, beta male, diva, alpha male, hottie

The gang sees reports of violence and suicides on the news.  Being young and stupid, their main concern is whether to cancel their New Year’s Eve party.  That discussion is resolved when a zombie rams his arm through the front door and grabs Sam.  Another discussion in the bedroom is resolved when a zombie breaks in through the window. Luckily, token black party-goer Steve is able to hurl him off a balcony.

antisocial09When 9-1-1 has a recorded message, they know shit is real, this not being Detroit. They hear lots of gunfire, sirens and crowds as civilization breaks down.  Hmmm, maybe this is Detroit.  They take the precaution of boarding up the windows and doors.  They also watch the video blog of the fashion-girls, so it is nice to see there is a callback to that scene.

One of the symptoms is hallucinations.  When token black Steve starts to hallucinate, it is interesting to see them from his perspective.  Steve goes full zombie and the others have to kill him.  Steve’s diva girlfriend goes down next, and not in the good way.  She also sees the hallucinations and has a very effective — and festive — turn for the worse.

Turns out the Facebook doppleganger in the film — Social Redroom — is to blame.  Using subliminal message to track users, it had a few side-effects.  There is a cure, or at least vaccine, which is almost worse than the disease as it is administered with a power drill to the skull.

I can highly recommend this movie despite some serious problems.  Most importantly, the movie is just awful to look at.  I am baffled why so many horror movies, especially low budget ones, think it is a good idea to desaturate the color out of the movie.

The acting is generally OK.  It pains me to say the weak link here is Sam.  She is beautiful — from some angles, downright amazing — but just doesn’t bring much else to the role; especially in the later scenes where she needs to step up, it just doesn’t happen.  I think she probably needs a stronger director than she had here — it wasn’t so much mis-steps in her performance as no-steps.

Most importantly, the film had ideas.  I really enjoyed the ending scenario in which shit just kept on piling on right up to the last frame.  This was a good one.

antisocial06

Kind of spoilery, but it’s basically the cover art.

Post-Post:

  • On second thought, maybe the MacBook Apple logo was hidden by a cover; it’s a start.
  • The IMDb description says the outbreaks are happening unbeknownst to the group in the house — this really could not be more wrong.  They see what is going on in the outside world via a peephole in the door, TV news, social media, webcasts, Skype, basically every form of non-print mass media.
  • But I’m sure the newspaper had it covered the next day.

Alfred Hitchcock Presents – The Night the World Ended (S2E31)

A group of reporters are hanging out a bar swapping stories, as opposed to now when they would be at a swanky cocktail party hosted by the people they are supposed to be covering, drinking mineral water and nibbling at a low-carb amuse bouche.

ahpnightworld01Halloran is established as a guy who likes a good practical joke.  That his jokes frequently end up in tragedy seems of no concern to him.

Local bum Johnny enters the bar and hits Halloran up for a drink.  Mr. H tells the bartender to “give him the good stuff.”  The bartender reaches under the bar where he just happens to have a shot already poured.  Johnny just about pukes when it turns out to be furniture polish.  Mr. H. gets a good laugh out of this, and Johnny tells him, “You didn’t have to do that!”  Unless Halloran psychically made the bartender pour the shot and place it under the bar waiting for this gag, I don’t really see how Halloran is at fault.  But he’s still an asshole for laughing.

Another newsie rushes in and gives Halloran the last edition hot off the press.  It says the world will end at 11:45 after a collision with Mars.  Johnny rushes out of the bar thinking he must do something special with the three remaining hours of his life.  Of course, the gang gets a huge laugh out of the prank they just pulled.  Maybe I misunderestimated Halloran; he is Schofieldian-level planner.

I think they use the same science adviser as The Twilight Zone.  OK, maybe it is possible that Mars has been broken out of its orbit and will collide with Earth.  But is it likely we would have only 3 hours notice?  Meh, I can always overlook problems like that in old sci-fi, but anything in color better not pull that crap.

ahpnightworld02To make the most of his last 3 hours on earth, Johnny flees the bar and goes to a liquor store — this is a guy with a limited world-view.  He begs the clerk for some free hooch since “it can’t make no difference now.”  The clerk understandably thinks he’s nuts. When his back is turned, Johnny grabs a couple jugs of Cognac (because the good stuff is always sold in 3000 ml bottles) and bolts out the door.

Chugging it in the park, he eludes the police.  He trips over the dogs being walked by an elderly woman.  She takes him back to her place to clean his jacket, and makes him some tea.  She is also a lonely person,  and Johnny is first man in 15 years she’s had in the house.  She understandably gets a little spooked when he says they will be together at her house until the world ends.  She screams for help and a neighbor arrives to throw Johnny out.

Wandering the streets, he encounters 3 young street urchins.  He asks the kids what they most want, and breaks into a sporting goods store to fulfill their dreams.  They go crazy shooting hoops, riding bikes and, inexplicably, fishing in the store.  One of them wants a gun, so Johnny helpfully gets a pistol and loads it for the tike.  A cop comes in and Johnny shoots him when he tries to stop the fun.  The kids bolt.

Johnny stops by a newsstand and is baffled that the newspapers contain headlines such as Naughton Accepts Nomination, Boxing Commission Charges Bribe, Crooner Jailed for Assault.  Johnny realizes he has been punked when the New York Times does not have the headline:

EARTH TO BE DESTROYED

WOMEN AND MINORITIES HARDEST HIT

OK, that’s an oldie; but a greatie.

ahpnightworld03Johnny returns the bar, still packing the heat he took from the store.  It just so happens he arrives at the bar, where the gang is playing cards, exactly at the supposed impact time of 11:45 PM.  Then, it truly is worlds in collision.

Great stuff.

Post-Post:

  • At what point did the pronunciation go from saddist to saydist?  I recall Rod Serling using saddist on TZ also.
  • One of the kids was a 14 year-old Harry Shearer (Spinal Tap, The Simpsons).
  • AHP Deathwatch: At least two of the kids are still alive, including Harry Shearer.
  • Story by Frederic Brown, who wrote the classic Arena on which the Gorn episode of Star Trek was extremely loosely based.
  • IMDb’s trivia on director Jus Addiss says he was the “life partner” of Hayden Rorke (Dr. Bellows on I Dream of Jeannie).  I did not know that.

Alfred Hitchcock Presents – The Three Dreams of Mr. Findlater (S2E30)

The ubiquitous John Williams just appeared in I Killed the Count three episodes ago.  That  story was told over the span of 3 weeks and still seemed shorter than tonight’s offering.

Williams is a hen-pecked man of 54 whose nagging wife won’t even let him play solitaire in peace, nagging him about talking to younger women, and taunting him about his thinning hair.  AHP really stacks the deck by casting a woman 12 years older than him as his wife.  Didn’t they know that by Hollywood law, after a 5 year difference, you’re supposed to cast the woman as the mother?

Finally, he has had enough and goes upstairs to his man-cave, decorated with posters of Tahiti, Mexico and Hawaii (still 2 years away from statehood, ergo still officially exotic).  His eyes land on the poster beckoning him to “Come to the South Seas . . . Land of Enchantment” (later bogarted by New Mexico for its license plates).  It also features a woman in a sarong with an orchid behind her ear.  He has named her Lalage.

His imagination sweeps him away to titular Dream # 1 in the South Seas where Lalage welcomes him with a drink served in a pineapple.  She knows how to make him relax even tells him his thinning hair makes him look important and distinguished.  Wow, she’s turning me on!

He confesses that there is a titular Dream # 2 without Lalage where he comes home to find the maid in tears.  Their doctor comes down the stairs and tells him his wife has died of a stroke.

The next day, out for a very British walk in his suit, flat cap, and umbrella in hand, he imagines Lalage in the woods.  She joins him and they fortuitously find an abandoned car with a pistol laying on the seat.  Now that he is packing untraceable heat, he is starting to have a titular Dream # 3 . . . about Minnie.

He and Lalage come up with a plan to murder Minnie involving a goofy disguise and the unlikely act of Williams climbing down a rope from a 3rd story window and back up.  After months of working on an alibi, and his upper body strength, Williams decides it is time to do the deed.

In disguise, he goes to his own house.  The maid meets him in tears just as in Dream # 2.  The doctor comes down the stairs just as in Dream # 2.  And Minnie has had a stroke just as in Dream # 2.

ahpfindlater06So what?  This is AHP — where is the murder?  Where is the post-game comeuppance?  Minnie died just as Williams desired, and he is completely in the clear as he did nothing to cause her death.  Hitchcock does not even have his standard epilogue in this episode — he is shown asleep and snoring.

He’s not the only one.

OK, it was actually pretty good and Williams is always a pro.  It’s just not what I’m looking for from AHP.

Post-Post:

  • AHP Deathwatch:  No survivors.
  • The name Lalage shows up in several places, but nothing seems relevant to her character — a yacht, an asteroid, a few animals.  The name shows up in a Roman Legion marching song by Kipling.  It would have been a nice allusion if Williams had been working on a history of the Roman Legion rather than Exminster.
  • Story by A.A. Milne, creator of Winnie the Pooh.  Is that why there is no killing?  Although that Eeyore was really asking for it.