Night Gallery – The Hand of Borgus Weems (S2E1)

The real  George Maharis is driving through the city when he loses control of his hand.  He bursts through some construction barricades and nearly runs down a pedestrian.  So the hand also apparently controls the feet since he did not stop.  Also the arm, since the hand itself doesn’t really have much leverage to steer a car.

He goes to a surgeon and requests that the doctor amputate his hand.  The doctor sees nothing wrong with the hand. Thanks to several inter-cut shots, we see the hand contorting.  Also being bathed in a strange psychedelic pulsing light which you might think would catch the doctor’s eye.

Maharis grabs the doctor’s prescription pad and scribbles a Latin phrase that neither recognize.  And the handwriting is awful — maybe it has been the pads’ fault all these years.  He says the hand has attempted murder three times and he is afraid it will eventually be successful.  When the doctor refuses to cut off his hand, he grabs a heavy bust in the office and slams it down onto his hand.

That show of commitment seems to change the doctor’s mind and he goes through with the amputation.  Actually, we are supposed to believe that the damage done to the hand made amputation “mandatory”, but in the operating room, it seems pink and rosy and functional and unbruised.

ngborgusweems03He tells the story of almost running over the pedestrian again to a psychiatrist, complete with the same footage being replayed.

Also how, while making a phone call, he involuntarily called a strange number and identified himself as Borgus Weems, a name he had never heard before.  Actually, I don’t think anyone has ever heard that name before.  So in addition to the foot and the shoulder, the hand also controls the mouth.  When the man he called tracks him down, the hand tries to stab him with a letter opener.

Then he recounts how the murder tried to kill his fiancee.  So in addition to the hand, the shoulder, the foot and the mouth, it also controls his legs which carried him to her apartment. He pulls the gun on her, and struggles to lower it.  He manages to drop the gun and at that moment decides that the hand has got to go.

The surgeon decides to bring in another consultant, this one a detective.  He recalls that a man named Borgus Weems previously rented Maharis’s apartment.  He also dabbled in the black arts, naturally.  Turns out someone had lopped off Weem’s hand at the wrist. His sister, now Maharis’s squeeze, and the other men he tried to kill were both complicit in his maiming and murder.

The doctor sees Maharis getting agitated so he writes him a prescription.  Now the doctor’s hand is possessed and he writes that same Latin phrase again.  Luckily the detective not only speaks Latin, but recognizes it as a quote from Virgil, “Arise my avenger, out of my bones.”  The doctor stares in disbelief at his hand.

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No, this isn’t the wind. The Detective’s hair was like this in every shot.   Make-up!!!

An OK story — far from original, but I never deduct points for that — but it is weakened by its goofy structure.  At times I had to orient myself between past and present based on whether Maharis had one or two hands.

Post-Post:

  • Borgus: The concept that a global human consciousness will form, manifested as the nexus of all written knowledge on Earth and the inter-connectivity of that information through computer networks — Urban Dictionary.
  • Parson Weems fabricated the anecdote about George Washington’s honesty vis-à-vis the cherry tree.  Oh, the irony.
  • Twilight Zone Legacy:  Patricia Donahue and William Mims were in one episode each.
  • Two lame short segments not deserving a post (even by me!) starred Leslie Nielsen, Joseph Campanella, and Sue “Lolita” Lyons.
  • Hulu sucks.

Night Gallery – The Boy Who Predicted Earthquakes (S2E1)

ngearthquake01Starting Season 2 on Hulu because I’m not sure the box is worth $23 at Amazon.  Outside of the Pilot, NG has had zero rewatch potential.

This whole episode is a cornucopia of 60’s and 70’s stars.  In this segment,  we get Michael Constantine (Room 222), Bernie Kopell (Get Smart, Love Boat) and Clint Howard (geez, everything from Gentle Ben — Christ, a show about a kid who has a full grown BEAR for a pet! —  to Arrested Development, with one iconic episode of Start Trek in between).

10-year old Clint is at a TV studio with his grandfather.  They have given him a spot doing commentary, apparently having the same criteria for maturity as MSNBC.

He begins talking about some books he’s read and a telescope he hopes to get, driving the station manager crazy at the banality.  Then he gets very serious and describes a missing girl being found, and an earthquake occurring the next day.

Despite Clint’s track record of having been 100% right on previous predictions, the station manager is outraged and threatens to fire everyone and burn the tape.

Of course, Clint is 100% correct, so we flash forward 18 months (during which young Clint has not grown an inch).  Finally, after a year of public predictions being 100% correct, a doctor is sent to study Clint.  The government also sends a man to monitor every show.

While getting made up for the day’s show, Clint gets very anxious and wants to go home.  He is cajoled into staying,and makes a prediction of an event the next day which will turn earth into a paradise with everyone loving each other.  Of course, he is lying.

ngearthquake02The next morning, Clint admits the sun is going supernova and will incinerate the earth.  Unfortunately, the episode takes a couple of minutes making this revelation when the audience gets the gist in a few seconds.  Also, the cast seem to be bathed in a amber light, but the event doesn’t happen until tomorrow, so why the special lighting?  Clint even points to the sun and says tomorrow it won’t be like that, indicating that today, the sun is normal.  Maybe it was just magic hour.

Other than botching the twist, everything was pretty great, especially Clint Howard.  I give it a 6.5 on the Richter Scale.

Post-Post:

  • Twilight Zone Legacy:  Michael Constantine was in another heliocentric episode, I am the Night – Color Me Black.
  • Nice opening shots in what I assume was an actual production studio at NBC.  It’s like old-time NASA with the bulky equipment.
  • John Badham went on to direct Blue Thunder, WarGames and Saturday Night Fever.
  • Hulu sucks.

Outer Limits – Birthright (S1E20)

After a press conference hyping his energy bill, Senator Richard Adams from Idaho is in a car being driven by his aide.  Adams puts some eye-drops in his eye, and the aide says he could use some too.

So the Senator gives the aide the bottle — while he’s driving.

And the aide leans his head back and takes a few drops — while he’s driving.

These guys are too stupid to be in poli . . . . er, never-mind.

The human gene-pool is strengthened by the death of the aide, but Adams wakes up in the hospital.  Maybe his doctor is not so sharp either as she seems surprised to find that Adams has strange organs and four lobes in his brain instead of two.  Frontal, occipital, parietal and temporal lobes are pretty much standard issue on humans.  Oh, we could throw in the limbic, but don’t start your cerebellum crap.

olbirthright09Adams’ security detail swarms his hospital room and hustles him out of the room.  When it is clear he does not realize who he is or what “the mission” is, the men decide he has to be killed.  He is able to escape and make his way back to the only person he can trust, the doctor.

He begins falling apart.  He is cold, fatigued, losing his hair, fingernails peeling off.  This is a result of his not taking a supplement that had kept him looking human and being able to breathe earth’s air.

He discovers that his energy bill, rather than being good for the atmosphere, will actually destroy it, making it poison to humans, but hospitable to his alien race.  We’re on to you, Al Gore!

olbirthright16He decides to rat his people out to the press.  Things don’t work out.

At the end, he is wearing the doctor’s Redskins cap.  So not only is he an alien, he’s a raaaaacist.

Post-Post:

  • The US Senators from Idaho when this episode aired were Larry Craig and Dick Kempthorne.  Craig resigned after some suspicious shenanigans in an airport restroom.  Kempthorne managed to hold on to his job after being accused of spending $222,000 on renovations to his bathroom at the Dept. of the Interior.
  • Them Idaho senators sure loves their shitters.  Kempthorne was even succeeded by a guy named Mike Crapo.
  • Hulu sucks.

Outer Limits – If These Walls Could Talk (S1E19)

Derek and Nadia are making out on a sofa in an old abandoned house.  Derek hears moaning upstairs.  Since Nadia is not a ventriloquist, he goes to investigate.  He screams for help and Nadia goes up to find him.  We don’t see what she sees, but we hear it — the demonic laughter of something that pulls her to her death.

Outer Limits is getting out on the thin ice again.  The forays into religion early in the season were not always successful, and the apparent entry into the haunted house genre had me worried.

olwalls01

Oh STFU, Outer Limits — this isn’t science-fiction, it’s economics-fiction.

Physicist turned professional skeptic Dwight Schultz is pecking away on a typewriter, watching himself on a TV talk show.  He had appeared with Derek’s mother Alberta Watson to discuss her son’s disappearance in the old house.

His doorbell rings and Watson is there.  She offers Schultz $5,000 to go to the old house with her.  They drive out to the house and Schultz is able to offer plausible  explanations for the mysterious sounds they hear.  Soon, however, they both hear sounds that can’t be so easily explained.

That night, Watson has a few drinks and sees her dead son morphing out of the wall.  In examining the wall, Schultz finds a hidden door and kicks his way in.  Inside, they find a meteorite which apparently animates inanimate objects.

I’m not a stickler for defining science-fiction, but this is a pretty thin pretense for shoehorning a haunted house story into a science-fiction series.  Like all meteorites in TV and media, the stone looks like a pomegranate with shiny metallic “seeds” on the hollow center.

olwalls02She later sees Derek in the house again, or so she thinks.  The entity has completely assumed Derek’s form and fully emerged into the hallway.  He tries to lure her into the wall.  Apparently having seen Spank the Monkey, the entity knows Watson will do anything for her son.

Schultz arrives to save the day by hosing the house down with alcohol which has a disorienting effect on the entity — ha, it thinks it’s people!  As the alcohol takes effect, the house starts melting like a cross between House of Wax and Poltergeist.

Overall, very blah.  I was immediately off-put by that idiotic T-Shirt.  I didn’t come here for lefty propaganda by a bunch of Hollywood 1%ers (filming in Canada to dodge union rates), and I didn’t come here for a haunted house story.

olwalls03Post-Post:

  • Let’s hoist a flagon of house -melting alcohol for Nadia.  Her disappearance is barely mentioned other than to say that her parents couldn’t have cared less.  She seemed like a nice girl.
  • Guess I’m a softy — I would have liked to see Derek and Nadia come out of this alive; and in Nadia’s case, naked.
  • Alberta Watson was also briefly Jack Bauer’s boss on 24.  Unfortunately, I think she was stuck in a doomed role that squandered her abilities.
  • Hulu sucks.

Outer Limits – I, Robot (S1E18)

olrobot03Dr. Link is working on his robot Adam.  Alone . . . at night . . . in a dark lab . . . all the standard markers for an Outer Limits cutting-edge research facility lab.  Whatever the doctor is doing, the robot suddenly takes offense and throws him against the wall, killing him.

Adam flees the scene of the crime — he thinks he’s people!  And is found by a uniform cop who pulls a gun on him, demonstrating that he might not be detective material.  The cop might be wearing Kevlar, but Adam is Kevlar.  As Adam approaches, the cop begins firing, managing to nail himself with a ricochet.  This is pretty stupid, but on the other hand, it is nice to see a TV show acknowledge that ricochets are dangerous for a change.

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Cynthia Preston — The picture is actually from her appearance in The X-Files where she was so cute that I remembered her 20 years later.

Dr. Link’s hot daughter Mina comes to visit Adam in jail.  She grew up with him as a brother and wants to see him tried as a sentient being. To assist, her she recruits civil rights attorney Leonard Nimoy who is retired, playing mere 2-D chess in the park.

Nimoy reluctantly accepts.  The irony is that if he can convince the court that Adam is sentient, and therefore should not be dismantled, it also follows that he must then stand trial for Dr. Link’s murder.

The rest of the episode is an extended courtroom scene.  But given the subject and Nimoy’s excellent performance, it is all riveting.  Barbara Tyson is also very good as the prosecutor.  Unfortunately, Cynthia Preston as Mina is not not quite up to it.  Especially when she is testifying, it is not a joke to say she sounds . . . robotic.  I defy anyone to close their eyes and listen to her and not think “robot.”  Just re-watching, it is so unlike the rest of her performance that I think it must have been a choice by her or the director. Overall, another very good episode.

Post-Post:

  • Dr. Link’s lab was in Rossom Hall Robotics. That sounded familiar — it was the Rossum Corporation behind the titular Dollhouse.  Both are presumably references to R.U.R., Rossum’s Universal Robots, a company in the 1920 play by that name which introduced the word “robot” into the English language.  Or “robe-it” as Rod Serling used to say on TZ.
  • The episode is based on a 1939 short story by Otto Bender.  Asimov’s better known re-use of the title was forced on him by a publisher.  But he can’t avoid blame for the muttonchops.
  • Similar story to Star Trek TNG’s The Measure of a Man.
  • In a stunning coincidence, this episode was directed by Leonard Nimoy’s son.
  • Hulu sucks.