44 minutes of Ron Perlman?  Pass.

Although not on a Pass / Fail grading system.

Instead, here are some pictures from a recent trip; that’s how tedious this Outer Limits episode was.

I’m pretty forgiving of ignorance, but hard-core, pre-planned stupidity gets me every time.  Most of this centers on the hotel, but before I even got there:

Delta Flight:  5 hours late.

Buffalo Wild Wings (ATL):  You bring me sloppy wings, 1 napkin, and disappear for 20 minutes?

Rental Car:  I really liked the car (Kia Soul), but WTF would Hertz have 2 rows of cars with the same parking space numbers?  I go to the assigned black Kia Soul in slot 30.  I use the remote to unlock the doors (or so I thought), throw my stuff in the back, and get in.  I try to start the car and nothing happens.  Turns out I was in the wrong #30 black Kia Soul.  Why, why, why?  They weren’t even next to, or across from each other.

Hotel TV:  You finally arrive after a long trip, what’s the 2nd thing you do?  Ya flops on the bed and turns on the TV.  I have never had a bed that was so far from the TV.

Hotel Room Design: This hallway is comically long.  This is like the telescoping hallway JoBeth Williams ran down in Poltergeist.  30% – 40% of this room’s floorplan is completely wasted spaced.  I’m offended by how stupid this design is.

I still haven’t figured this out.  The top switch must be on in order for the bathroom light to work.  However, the light by the bed is not controlled by the switch.  So if you get up to go to the bathroom at night, you have to walk allllll the way down that crazy hall, flip the switch on to enable the bathroom light, and walk allllll the way back to the bathroom.  I still have no idea what the 2nd switch is for.  If your lights were going on and off, that was me.

While we’re in the bathroom, why would you design the shower door to only swing out?  Between the streaming water and the condensation, it is impossible for the floor to not collect a pool of water after each shower.  I had a lovely inward-swinging door in Clearwater recently, but didn’t take a photo as I did not realize how revolutionary it was.

There is no break in this curtain.  If you don’t want to be awakened at sunrise, you have to feel around through the sheer curtain for the rod, scooch behind the sofa, and reach around the lamp to push the opaque curtain over the window.

They wasted 100+ square feet on that hallway, but could only spare 1 square foot for an end table.  Add the TV remote, my phone, and a charge cord on this table, and I defy you not to knock something off every goddamn time you need anything.

Nuff said.

Is this thing giving me the finger?

The first night, I was locked out of the hotel building because my room keycard stopped working.  Luckily I was able to flag down someone inside to let me in.  They said it was because I carried the card next to my phone.  Maybe that one is my fault; it is a first, though.

This was Marriott Courtyard.  I asked the desk guy what was different about the nearby Marriott Residence.  He said the Residence has a small kitchen . . . . like a residence.  So where was my Courtyard?  My view was a bloody parking lot.  Luckily I didn’t want to go through the daily calisthenics to fully open the curtain anyway.

But it was quiet, and they gave me clean drinking glasses each day.  Well, except for the clean glasses.

So, a bunch of first world problems.  But it does irk me that they don’t put a shred of thought into these things.

Someday in the future:  When the f*** is Panera Bread going to learn how to design a drink & condiments station?  They’ve only built about 2,000 and seem to have learned nothing.