Scared to Death (1947)

scaredtodeath01The biggest shock here is that the film is in color.  I know it was released 8 years after The Wizard of Oz and Gone with the Wind, but it was also 13 years before Psycho.  I didn’t expect a low-budget 1947 joint (did Bela Lugosi make anything else by this time?) to be in color.

It is very much a mixed bag with some good stuff mixed in with the dreadful.  Douglas Fowley as reporter Terry Lee sounds amazingly like Steve Buscemi.  One tip for enhancing enjoyment: Just pretend it is Steve Buscemi.

The film opens in an autopsy room at the morgue where two men enter and stand over a dead body covered by a sheet.  “Is this the body?” Dr. Einstein asks.  He observes that “one hates to perform an autopsy on a beautiful woman.”  That might be true, but I have to think a really fat guy would be worse.

scaredtodeath10

Yikes!

The irony is that the actress really never looks better than in this scene.  Maybe it is the casting or strange coloration of the movie, but there are some stunningly unattractive women in this film.

They are initially stumped by the cause of death as there are no marks on the body.  This prompts the man to muse what her last thoughts might have been, prompting a film-long flashback by Laura — the dead woman.

She is in an agitated and anxious state.  Her husband believers it has to do with some letters she’s been receiving from abroad.  He is itching for a way to end the marriage and his physician father has a plan to set his son free.  Laura is able to convey their conspiratorial conversation in her flashback even though she was not there to witness it.  Maybe, being dead, she has become omniscient.  Or maybe it’s just not a very good movie.

This sets up my main irritation with the film — besides the actresses cast — repeatedly we are taken back to Laura on the slab where she will voice-over exactly one sentence, then we resume the flashback.  It is so jarring and rigidly identical each time, including the exact same music, that it becomes a joke.  Or drinking game.

scaredtodeath04Things lighten up a bit as Bela Lugosi arrives with his own personal Mini-Me, Indigo.  He has come to see the doctor unannounced.  The maid tries to stop him, but he says, “I have had an appointment with him for 20 years,” thus foreshadowing Obamacare for the U.S.

Also on-site are security guard Bill Raymond and Reporter Terry “Buscemi” Lee.  These two provide the comedy in the film, and do so very well.  Raymond is thick-headed and oafish whereas Lee makes with the snappy dialogue, see.  The mere presence of Lugosi and Indigo keep the mood light, but Raymond and Lee are actually very skilled at taking the material and breathing life into it.

scaredtodeath08There is much intrigue with unhappy marriages, blackmail, European shenanigans, floating disembodied masks, hypnotism, secret passages, disappearing corpses, betrayals, a dwarf and a guy in a cape.  There is enough untapped potential here to have made a great farce in the right hands.

Sadly it comes off a little too clunky and talky, but does have a few good laughs.

Post-Post:

  • Personally, I find envisioning the Tony Blundetto version of Steve Buscemi to work best here, but I’ve never seen Boardwalk Empire.
  • I remembered Nat Pendleton (Bill Raymond) as the Sergeant in an Abbott & Costello WWII movie I probably saw 20 years ago.
  • Director Christy Cabanne is the anti-Mallick, having 166 Directing  credits.  True, many of these were shorts in the very early days of film, but he also has 46 writing credits, and 59 acting credits.  All before dying at the youngish age of 62.
  • On the other hand, Writer Walter Abbott had only 2 credits despite living 6 years longer.

The Devil Bat (1940)

devilbat01An opening title tells us all the people of Heathville love the kindly village doctor Paul Carruthers.  No one suspected that in his home, he found time to conduct “certain private experiments — weird terrifying experiments.”

Carruthers (Bela Lugosi) takes a break from pouring liquids from beaker to bottle to duck into the secret bookcase entrance in his lab.  He walks down a stone-walled hallway and up the stairs to to a secret-secret bat-nursery where he is raising his little darlings.  Hey, Lugosi, enough with the bats!

His process of “glandular stimulation through electrical impulses” is growing the bats at a greatly accelerated rate.  He takes a bat, which is conveniently hanging from a detachable coat hanger (or possibly nunchucks like Töht had in Raiders of the Lost Ark — this movie was released four years after the events in Raiders, so maybe they really caught-on in the late 30’s), and carries him downstairs to the lab.

devilbat05After hanging the bat up in a specially shielded room, Lugosi steps back outside, dons his goggles, and electrifies the bejeebus out of the bat. Remarkably, within minutes, the bat quadruples in size.  It is tragic that Lugosi did not use his meat-growing discovery for good, selling out to Frank Perdue, Butterball or Pfizer.

Lugosi gets a call from his bosses, Morton and Heath, to come to a party at Heath’s home just down the hill.  He reluctantly agrees to attend, which is fortunate because his bosses plan to give him a bonus of $5,000 ($83,000 in 2014 dollars).

When Lugosi doesn’t show up, Heath sends his son Roy to deliver the bonus.  After handing over the check, Lugosi asks Roy to test out his new creation, an after shave lotion, which he suggests — not at all suspiciously — be applied to the tender part of the neck. Carruthers bids him an ominous “goodbye” as he leaves.

The check has only angered Lugosi as it is revealed that he resents Heath and Morgan for reaping millions from his creations while tossing him crumbs.  But his day has come — or night, actually, due to his method of revenge.  He opens a window and orders the mega-bat to seek out the scent of the after shave lotion and go for the tender part of the neck.

devilbat07That night, Morton’s son Don proposes to Heath’s daughter Mary.  She tells him that she thinks of him as a brother.  As the story is not set in West Virgina (or Westeros), this is a deal-breaker.  Incredibly, Don is not having the worst night of the bunch — as Roy Heath returns from delivering Lugosi’s bonus, the giant bat swoops down and kills him.

The Daily Register gets wind of Heath’s death and assigns ace-reporter Johnny Layton to the story along with photographer “One-Shot” McGuire (presumably a nickname given by his editor, not his wife).

Heath’s other son Tommy visits Lugosi at his lab and is given the lotion to test.  He tries to put some on Carruthers, but he recoils — although he is happy to shake Tommy’s lotion-slathered hand when he gives his ominous “goodbye.”

Lugosi wastes no time opening the window out of which — for reasons unexplained, four bats fly out before batzilla.  Johnny, One-Shot and Mary see the bat kill Tommy, so now there are eye-witnesses.

Johnny’s editor still is not convinced, so Layton conspires with One-Shot to get a stuffed bird from a taxidermy shop and create some bogus pictures to back up their narrative. When their editor hears of the deception, he fires them and says he will see that they never work at another newspaper.  On the plus side, they are now contractually free to join others of similar journalistic standards at NBC News.

devilbat11After Don Morton is killed, Johnny finds the lotion in his bathroom and realizes that all of the victims had this same scent.  After tracking the source back to Lugosi , Johnny and the Sheriff confront Lugosi who all-too-happily offers them each a bottle.  Only Johnny takes it.  When the bat inevitably swoops in, Johnny kills it.

Lugosi goes to Henry Morton’s office and gives him a bottle of the lotion.  Morton makes the mistake of rubbing Carruthers face in the wealth he lost by cashing out of the company early like Walter White.  Soon Morton is killed.

Johnny expresses his theory that someone is using the bats to kill every member of the Morton and Heath Families.  That has the ring of truth since nearly every member of both families has already been killed by the bats.  That’s some good work there, Lou.

Lugosi also attempts to kill Mary, but that doesn’t go so well.  Soon (after all, this film is only 108 minutes), Lugosi gets his proper comeuppance.  Like many movies of the era, it wraps up in about two seconds, ending on a completely innocuous line of dialogue.

The Devil Bat is enjoyable given the limitations of the day, like White Zombie.  But neither is as transcendent as Dracula.

Post-Post:

  • Takes place in Heathville.  There are newspaper references to Peoria, Springfield and Chicago, so we can assume this is in Illinois.  There is a Heathsville in Illinois, but no Heathville.
  • The Daily Register’s editor is played by Arthur Q. Bryan who voiced Elmer Fudd 1950-1959.  Once you know that, it is impossible to hear his voice without thinking of Elmer.
  • Jean Yarbrough also directed King of the Zombies.  His name is spelled Yarborough in the credits, but IMDb says the standard spelling drops the “o”.
  • Even 70 years earlier, Lugosi’s character sold out for twice as much as Walter White.
  • Note to aspiring screenwriters:  Don’t have characters named Morton and Martin unless you want to confuse simple minds.

Needle (2010)

needle02After the credits, an old an old man is assaulted by an unseen attacker who leaves a hole in his chest like he was shot by a cannon.

This unpleasantness passes quickly, then we cut to a college campus where it is quickly demonstrated that Australia’s production of Elle Macpherson was no fluke.  Just to further drive home the point, one of the girls is in a lesbian relationship with a French Exchange Student.  This is just the kind of craftsmanship that is sadly lacking in American movies today.

Ben is visited at his room by Mr. Joshua, a representative from his father’s estate.  He has brought Ben a box found in a storage unit.  Ben is ready to ready to eBay it, but understandably uses it first to entice some girls back to his room.

One of the group fatefully records their image with some sort of picture-taking device that does not have a phone in it, and actually is able to produce said image on paper — how retro!

needle04Ben’s ne’er-do-well brother Marcus shows up at the room.  Somehow this drifter has secured a gig with the police as a crime scene photographer.  He is generally a good guy throughout the film, but is immediately set up as unlikeable, and pulls that off perfectly.  I think it is the haircut.

Ben discovers the box has been stolen.  An unseen person begins cutting up the aforementioned photo, and inserts one of the gang’s headshot into the machine.  After adding some liquids, the machine produces a waxy doll that can be used for voodoo-like effects.  It also seems to wreak havoc on electrical systems.  The mystery person uses the doll to inflict numerous fatal cuts on the victim.

needle17The gang is pretty quick to draw a connection between the missing box and their dead friend.  Another of the gang has their picture inserted, and the box again works its magic.  It is more grizzly this time as not only is the victim sliced by an invisible knife, he has limbs lacked off.

The mystery figure is revealed, the motive is disclosed, and there is a proper comeuppance.

Overall, a nice little film with mostly likeable characters, a few shocks, and good pacing.

Post-Post:

  • Mr. Joshua is a pretty unusual name not to be a callback to Gary Busey in the first Lethal Weapon, but there seems to be no connection.
  • Ben’s professor was Jane Badler from V. The good one.

Torment (2013)

torment01The movie opens with a prologue of a family at dinner time.  Mom and the daughter seem nice.  For no reason, the filmmakers opted to make Dad an asshole.

What is the obsession this genre has with making the victims assholes?  OK, it’s fun to see bad guys get what they deserve, but this guy is offed after we know him for 30 seconds.  Maybe he had a bad day.  Maybe he found out this morning he had cancer, maybe his family are the awful ones and we just happened to catch them in a civil moment.  Yeah, he is a jerk, but did he really deserve to be murdered?  You have to make a case in order for that to be cathartic, and it isn’t going to be made in 30 seconds for a character who isn’t even around long enough to have a name.

On the other hand, you can make someone likable and sympathetic pretty quickly.  Then kill them.

So, his put-upon wife is murdered, he is murdered, and the killers are approaching the teenage daughter when we cut away.  This prologue tells us that the killers are not making moral judgments, they just kill for no purpose.  Well, that’s not exactly true, but that sets up a twist at the end.

torment02We flash-forward to a much happier family driving to their cabin in the woods. Well, the young son is kind of jerky, but his father has just remarried after the death of his mother, so there is a solid pre-fab back-story for his jerky attitude.  However, I’m kind of a jerk because I have to point how how bad this kid’s performance is.

They arrive at the cabin which turns out to a huge house.  It all seems great until they see evidence that there have been squatters there — messy beds, dirty dishes.  Hey, maybe I have squatters at my place, too.

The killers have taken the heads off of the kid’s stuffed animals and made masks of them.  The masks and lack of motive have lead many people to make comparisons to The Strangers and You’re Next.  These are pretty superficial points, and apply to a lot of movies.  Yeah, there are some similarities, but Tormented is its own movie.

torment03Really no major complaints.  There is not much story to latch onto, or recap, or mock, or criticize.  It is mostly an exercise in style, and moving the pieces around the board.  It worked well enough for me.  I like the callback for the motivation.  The other twist just didn’t do much for me.  More of a reveal, really, and there really was no substance set-up for it to knock down.

The kid was not very good, and Katherine Isabelle was only OK.  She seems to have more presence when she has something to work with like lycanthropy or being a psycho medical student.  As a Mom, she was kind of blah, and became irritating because half her dialogue seemed to be yelling for her husband, “Coryyyy!”  This would still make a better drinking game than “Wallllllt!” on Lost, though, because you really need to already be drunk to sit through that.

The Tortured (2010)

tortured01The film starts off on an overpass where a man is frantically calling 9-1-1 about the kidnapping of his son.  His wife arrives home not knowing why the police are there, so I guess the husband didn’t bother to call and break the news.  The police detective does break the news in a very jarring manner.

In fact, almost everything seems off about this opening.  The leads, Elise and Craig do not register believable emotions, the staging is awkward, and the music does not work at all.

Things don’t get much better with the introduction of the kidnapper.  Bill Moseley has been in a 1,000 of these joints, but doesn’t fare too well here.  He has rouged his cheeks and is wearing a tiara as he yells at the kidnappee.

A couple of on-the-ball cops arrest Moseley in the first 10 minutes; but then the movie is named Torture, not Manhunt, so you kind of expect that.  Tragically, the boy is already dead.  This triggers a flashback of him being abducted right out of the backyard as Craig witnesses through a window.  He gives chase on foot, then by car, but loses them on the overpass.

Moseley works out a plea agreement to disclose where other bodies are buried in order to get a sentence that could result in him serving only 10 years. During a prison transfer, Craig and Elise drug the guards at a gas station and manage to steal the van with Moseley inside.  It takes much longer than expected for the drugs to kick in, yet when the van pulls over it is conveniently close to the dirt road turn-off to the torture-shack.

In a freak accident, Craig flips the van over a cliff avoiding a doe, a deer, a female deer. Luckily Craig and Moseley survive.  Well, not so lucky for Moseley.  Craig and Elise carry him to a cabin in the woods and explain how they are going to torture him.

tortured03The next 45 minutes are torture; and not just for Moseley.  Cigarette burns, needle to the ear drum, cramping drugs,  It would almost be unwatchable in an effective movie. Here it is cringe-inducing, but bearable.  Craig & Elise’s poor performances take some of the edge off.  Also, it is hard to take them seriously when Craig makes a point of showing Moseley that the key to his restraints is hanging on a nail just above his head. There is fore-shadowing, and then there is fore-eclipsing.

At one point, Moseley claims to have lost his memory in the crash and to not know who he is or why he is being tortured.  That brings up a fascinating dilemma — even if you are OK with torturing the man who murdered their son, is it still OK if he doesn’t know why he is being tortured?

Elise is not troubles by such nuances.  They try to jog his memory by tightening his foot in a vice, which always works for me.  They scream at him to say their son’s name.  He holds out much longer than I could have, but finally — muddying the finale — screams out the boy’s name.

tortured04We knew that the key would eventually be used, and Moseley manages to loosen his chains enough to reach the key which Craig brilliantly left in sight and within reach on a hook just above his head.

He makes it to the bedroom, but Elise hits him with a pipe.  As they are dragging him back the cellar, he kicks Craig down the stairs and runs off.  He is pretty spry for a guy whose foot was just turned to jelly in a vice and had his big toe cut off.

By this time, thanks to a nosy neighbor, the cops are closing in on the cabin.  Naturally, it turns out there were 2 prisoners in the van and the couple grabbed the wrong guy. They do look a lot alike; apparently even to a couple whose son he murdered, who have seen him in the courtroom and in newspapers and TV everyday for the past few months and who wanted nothing more than for him to die.

Sadly, the ending is thoroughly botched.  I can’t blame the writing; there could have been some intriguing twists and ambiguity in the right hands.  But it is fumbled so badly here that it is just frustrating.

tortured06I’m even willing to suspend disbelief and say that the prisoner was so injured and bloody from the crash that they didn’t see their mistake.  But how did this poor bastard yell out their son’s name?  The online typing heads are at odds over whether the couple mentioned it in his presence. Certainly, he could have heard it on the news or maybe Moseley bragged about it in prison.  But then, what of the amnesia?

In his confession written before he hangs himself, he apologizes for his crime, leading us to believe he was the murderer.  Or did the innocent man now believe he was guilty due to the torture?  I think it is clear what they were going for, they just bungled it.

Why did the killer hang around the house?  Why did the police not go directly to the house where they were specifically told that he might be?  Why did they stop looking for the 2nd prisoner after they found the first one?

Why do the police cruise past the turn-off at the end?  Is this back-up troops coming, then why are they driving past?  Is it the police taking the prisoner back, then why aren’t they coming out of the dirt road?

Do Craig and Elise know that it was the wrong man?

The sad thing is that in the hands of a competent director, this could have been made twisty and fascinating.  Director Robert Lieberman has a lot of credits, so maybe it was time and budget constraints.  Certainly he did not have much to work with in his lead actors.

Post-Post:

  • If this was meant to be an anti-torture statement, that is yet another level that it fails on.
  • The lead actors both have extensive resumes, which makes their work here even more baffling.  Maybe they were just miscast.
  • This is Marek Posival’s only writing credit, but he is active in the business.  Oddly, for the guy who wrote The Tortured, he sure does like Christmas:

tortured02