20 Horror Movies for $7.50 — Part X of XX.

Please, for the love of God, stop scoring your movies with guitar ballads.  I have yet to see it work once in these box-sets.  I know, I know, your buddy that has a band wants to help out with your movie. Just say no.

Another tip:  If you have a prologue where a very thin brunette hottie wearing wearing a tight green tank top gets killed, don’t start your main movie with a different almost identical very thin brunette hottie wearing wearing a tight green tank top.

So far, 12 minutes in, I got guy and girl going to meet his parents, and there is some sort of friction with the father.  i.e. It ain’t grabbing me.  It doesn’t help that these two are really mediocre actors.

The couple stop at a closed gas station for the nameless dude to take a leak.  Come to think of it, I can’t remember the last time I saw a closed gas station. They have been 24-hour longer than CNN, and more trustworthy as well.  As no-name dude gets back in the car, he is carjacked with a pistol pointed to his head. Carjacker tells no-name to start driving.  On the plus side, he fits right in, also not being much of an actor.

He directs them to a barn and commands them to get on their knees and take off their shirts in front of a camera (a half-measure in her case).  He binds the dude to a pole and asks if he knows what it’s like to watch a loved one die.  Then he starts whipping the dude with his belt.

The only thing moderately interesting up to this point besides Girl’s snappy body is that the Carjacker really doesn’t seem very into this; he seems bored, like he is doing it for a payoff.  I’m not into it either, but at least I’m maintaining my amateur status.

He gives Girl some water and forces something in no-name’s mouth.  Then we get a series of ill-advised jump cuts. They contribute nothing, and are never used elsewhere in the movie, but if each of them is cutting 1/24th of a second out of this film, I’m on board. I think I’ve got that their names are Steven and Erika, so we are making progress.  And Carjacker.

Erika has a chance to kick carjacker in the balls and does so.  She and Steven make a run for the truck, but another car turns its lights on them and takes off. Carjacker demands to know who it was.

Carjacker orders Erika to get naked and ties them both to a pole where he lashes Steven again with his belt.  After seeing another man and hearing a gunshot, they run to a nearby cabin.  Well, Steven gets as far as the porch when he sprains an ankle, but  Erika makes it to a nearby cabin.

The couple living there are pretty strange.  The woman pretends to call the police, and the man is interested in if she is a virgin.  Soon, Erika is tied up again, this time in a basement with Carjacker who is also tied up.  Carjacker says he works with Steven, or at least in the mailroom at his firm.  Also, sells drugs to all the attorneys.  He also says Steven is paying him $30,000 to do the carjacking and tape them.

There are a few twists, but honestly this is not a very good movie.  I discovered that Carjacker is named Daniel Fanaberia, and admit I was too quick to judge.  His acting actually was pretty good in this once I figured out what was going on.  And I think the screenplay, while maybe needing another pass, was greatly undermined by poor direction and mediocre work by the other actors.

And, please, do the director a favor and tell him to go easy on the gratuitous jump-cuts.

Post-Post:

• Title Analysis:  Behind Your Eyes would have actually been a much better title for Salvage.  Come to think of it, Salvage might have been a better title for Hurt.
• Not being one to nitpick, but when Carjacker tells the girl to get naked, she leaves her drawers on.  You just can’t let hostages get away with shit like that or pretty soon they’ll own you.
• A user on IMDb claims the girl on the cover is the one that is killed in the first 5 minutes,not the one who stars in the movie.  They are so identical that I can’t confirm that — at least without watching it again, and that’s not going to happen.