Night Visions – Quiet Please (07/19/01)

nvquietplease1Before watching: Airing as the 2nd half of the episode that began with A View Through the Window, there is just no way this can’t suffer by comparison.

After watching:  They pulled off a truly great hour.

Cary Elwes is being tormented in bed by noises from the street below. There is music, but strangely no thumping rap.  And vehicle sounds, but strangely not the worst noise offender on earth besides rap — Harley Davidsons.

He tries to watch a little TV, but it is all stories about crime, murders and explosions.  He chances upon a documentary set in fictional that Archer State Park, and sets out that weekend for a little peaceful rest & relaxation.

nvquietplease2He hikes up the side of a mountain. Well prepared, he pitches a tent (heh, heh) and cooks up some grub.  That night, his sleep is once again disturbed.  He finds another camper (Brian Dennehy) close by, hammering tent pegs into the ground, although it sounds more like he is forging a sword on an anvil.

They have a fairly cordial exchange, but it is a testimony to Dennehy that there is feeling of menace even though nothing overt I can point to.

The next morning, Elwes is awakened by a police scanner.  He again goes to visit his noisy neighbor.  Dennehy warns him that he “stumbled over a pile of bear crap the size of a Honda.”  When Elwes confronts Dennehy about the scanner, he nicely offers to turn the scanner off.  But when Elwes suggests that he was here first and that Dennehy should more on, he is not so friendly.

nvquietplease6Later Elwes is fishing, Dennehy interrupts him to offer some tips on fishing.  He also offers several ideas on what is wrong with the country.  Again, there is nothing explicitly threatening, but Dennehy is just so intrusive and overly friendly.  He tells Elwes about the serial killer that has been terrorizing the town.  He also mentioned that he found tracks of the bear.  Inexplicably, he also says that a bear has the exact same skeleton as a man, which is just absurd.  When Dennehy pulls out a Rambo-esque knife, Elwes decides to take off.

The next night, Dennehy is again pounding his peg (heh, heh) within earshot of Elwes’ new campsite.  When Elwes accuses him of stalking, Dennehy is a little nasty this time.  The next morning, Dennehy brings his dead dog, killed by a grizzly, to Elwes and together they bury him.

Elwes and Dennehy both pull off their characters perfectly, providing just the right amount of misdirection to make the episode work.  I could bitch about that pile of bear crap, but I don’t think we’re supposed to think too much about that.

Post-Post:

  • Brian Dennehy hassled another outdoorsman and got what was coming to him.
  • His daughter hassled the Borg.

Night Visions – A View Through the Window (07/19/01)

nvviwwindow01This is the one.

Major Ben Darnell is summoned to the middle of the desert.  This might be the best thing for him as his son has been killed in a car accident and his wife blames him.  She flatly tells him she doesn’t care where he is going.

He arrives in the desert and is shown the phenomena that prompted his trip.  And it is kind of trippy — as he walks over a ridge, in the middle of the desert he sees another reality intruding.  The titular window, if you will, into another time and another place.  In a landscape of sand and dull earth-tones sits a brilliant oasis of Middle-Earth-tones [1].  Darnell sees a farmhouse in a lush, wooded area and a boy playing with his dog.  By the boy’s knickers and suspenders we can infer that this is a window into long ago; or that the kid is a bit of a dandy.

nvviwwindow06As with all windows, this one gets more interesting when there is an unsuspecting hot babe seen through it.  A woman in a 19th century dress only slightly less conservative than a burka strolls into the yard.  Darnell is transfixed by this hottie who can neither see nor hear him, just like his wife.  He continues watching as a young daughter shows up and the family is frolicking in this pastoral paradise.  With his binoculars, he is able to see that she has no ring — so possibly a young widow living with her father.

I can see why these images stuck with me for so many years.  They are haunting in both technique and emotion.  Just the voyeuristic act introduces a basic tension because we know it is wrong.  But there is also the fascination with watching someone who doesn’t know they are being watched.  For Darnell, watching this happy — except for, you know, the dead father — family just compounds his pain at the literal loss of his son and the figurative loss of his wife.

nvviwwindow08On a technical, level, I appreciated that the camera mostly kept its distance.  The family was usually observed from afar as Darnell watched from outside the barrier.  If there were close-ups, it was because a family member approached the barrier, or was observed through binoculars.[2]  This maintained the other-worldliness of the situation and also illustrated Darnell’s detachment. He was clearly grafting himself into this happy scenario.  Not being able to interact or hear them, the fantasy was perfect, but impossible.

Using an ice-Cube Goldberg device to launch an ice cube at the barrier every 3 seconds, Darnell is able to determine that the barrier drops every day for 15 seconds. Naturally, since Darnell is making progress and intelligently investigating this amazing phenomena, the Army decides he must be stopped.

While he hanging out in the canvas prison, he hears a commotion at the barrier — it has dropped again.  He belts the guard and makes a fast break for the barrier, leaping through the wall.  Now he can’t see the desert or the Army, but the woman can see him.

And then it ends.  Awesomely.  An ending so excellent that I hope I can forget it and be thrilled by it again some day.  They could have gone a few different ways, but they NAILED IT!

This Night Visions is 20/20, baby!

Post-Post:

  • [1] Referring to the Shire or New Zealand in general.  Mordor, not so much.
  • [2] My only minuscule criticism is that I wish the binocular POV shots had used the hokey black matting.
  • Title Analysis: Although the window metaphor is also used within the episode, it isn’t accurate — the phenomena is actually 3-dimensional rather than a 2-d window.  Possibly, however, it was also meant as reference to a window into the soul.
  • I saw that Karen Austin was in this, and remembered her from Night Court.  Turns out it is a different Karen Austin.  I thought the Union had rules against that.  There are actually 6 Karen Austins listed on IMDb.  WTH?
  • Only the 2nd (and last) directing gig for Bill Pullman, who starred as Darnell.  Too bad — there was nothing flashy, but damn if it wasn’t just about perfect.

Alfred Hitchcock Presents – Little White Frock (06/29/58)

ahpwhitefrock01My first inclination was to post a JPG of the old Monopoly Free Parking tile and close up shop for the day.  I always knew I’d get to an episode of something that was so mind-numbing that I just couldn’t go on — I just thought it would part of Ray Bradbury Theater.

Flipping around the whopping — if you were lucky — TWO other channels the Sunday night this aired, you could have turned to the Dinah Shore show on NBC, or The All-American Football Game of the Week on ABC.  Strangely, the football game only had a 30 minute time slot; even at that, it must have been about 20 minutes of guys standing around.  Most worthless game ever.  But still more interesting that this CBS AHP POS.

Been unseasonably warm this year, hasn’t it . . . oh, hell I might as well get on with it.

Writer Adam Longsworth and director Nofirstname Robinson are auditioning actors for their new play.  They are starting starting to wonder if they will ever find the right actor for the 2nd lead.  Their anxiety is understandable as the old guy on-stage is the 1950’s version of Bill Paxton.

ahpwhitefrock03They retire to their gentleman’s club for a drink and to meet with their friend Koslow to discuss casting alternatives.  As they dismiss actor after actor, Colin Bragner approaches them.  He is a bit of a has-been, but was well regarded back in the day. He invites Longsworth and his wife to dinner, but Longsworth declines.

The two big-shots are dismissive of Bragner because of his age — but they should be dismissive because he is a bore.  And they should know because these are two most brutally boring characters I’ve encountered in almost 500 posts.  Sadly, their performances are not elevated by the dreary and infrequent score and leaden direction.  This is a rock.  An island.

When Longsworth arrives home, he finds that Bragner has tricked his wife into accepting his invitation to dinner.  He mansplains to his wife that it is just a ruse for Bragner to get cast in his new play.  He says that Bragner’s style is passe, that modern audiences wouldn’t accept him.  Longsworth warns his wife that Bragner’s place is probably filled with “scrapbooks, faded reviews and brass spittoons.”  Wait, what?

ahpwhitefrock06His wife is a little more sympathetic and reminds her husband how they were broke themselves just three years ago.  So they go.

Bragner pours the wine and gives an interminable toast which is merely a hint of the soul-crushing monologue to come.  He assures the Longsworths that he did not invite them just to weasel his way into the new play.  He invited them to announce his retirement.

He picks up the titular white frock and begins telling them the story of Lila Gordon.  He and another actor named Terry had the hots for her.  Bragner proposed, but she rejected him, possibly because he was costumed like Ming the Merciless at the time.  He told Terry that it is him that Lila wants, so Terry went to Lila to propose.  If that isn’t bad enough, the lucky son-of-a-bitch inherited millions of dollars and bought a New York penthouse.  Before Terry got a chance to marry Lila, he met a younger babe named Annabelle and married her.  Terry ended up being killed in a mugging, but he and Annabelle produced a daughter named Jeanie.  Lila took an interest in Terry & Annabelle’s daughter.

ahpwhitefrock08When Jeanie was 10 years old, Lila summoned Bragner and he came so quickly he still had the operatic clown tears on his face.  Lila asked him to take a dress to Annabelle.  Jeanie is a spoiled brat and throws it on the floor.  When he went back to Lila, she was dead.

Bragner’s maid enters and says the dress belongs to her niece.  The Longsworths realize this has been one long audition.

With the exception of Julie Adams, this was the most boring group of people I have ever seen.

Post-Post:

Twilight Zone S4 – Jess-Belle (02/14/63)

Hee Haw Honey Ellwyn is at a barn dance verging on a full-blown hootenanny when she runs out to find Billy Ben.  After some smooching, he pulls out a tiny box and puts a ring on Ellwyn’s finger.

The happy couple spots JessBelle leaving the party early and Ellwyn sends Billy out to see if she is OK. Jess-Belle is upset that Billy has chosen Ellwyn over her, believing it to be because she wears fancy dresses and has a rich father; the fact that she’s insanely hot might also figure into it, but why pile on?

Jess-Belle goes to see Granny Hart.  Granny is visually introduced as a witchy woman, cloaked in black, hunched over a cauldron on a large fire.  When Jess-Belle knocks on her door, she doffs the cloak and fixes her hair, transforming into a regular old grandma.  You could question the theatrics when she was home alone, but it was a very effective bit to communicate 1) that this woman has some mojo going, and 2) she was still a human being that should not be dismissed as a caricature.

tzjessbelle06Jess-Belle asks Granny Hart for a love potion.  In payment, she offers a pearl hair-pin, but Granny won’t take it because it also contains Silver. She will accept something else, and says it will become obvious what it is “in the midnight hour of time.”  Not the brightest candle on the tree, Jess-Belle says, “Whatever it is, I’ll pay.”

Granny gives her a potion which she chugs.  Granny promises that once Billy Bob sets eyes on her, he will never look at another woman or goat again.  Sure enough, she shows up back at the dance, and as soon as Billy Bob sees her, he do-si-do’s right up to her and they promenade out the door.

They go out for a roll in the hay — not sex, a literal roll in the hay.  As midnight approaches, she says she must go home.  Back at home in her bedroom, at midnight, she turns into a wildcat.  Again, not sex-related —  literally a wildcat.  Not a very metaphorical bunch, these hill-people.

tzjessbelle11

You’ve got a little something . . . on the left. No, my left.

Jess-Belle goes back to Granny Hart to get a refund.  She realizes that she lost her soul in the transaction. Granny tells her that she too is now a witch.  The next night as midnight approaches, she again flees.  When Billy goes outside, the wildcat is sitting on his roof like one of those lions outside the New York Public Library — except those are surrounded by people who can read.

The next morning, Jess-Belle transforms back into a woman.  Sadly, like the Hulk, she wears sansabelt clothing so she protects her modesty.  She goes back to Billy and offers to fix his fire for him and his dinner and supper too.  Throw in some ironing and she wouldn’t need no love potion.

On her next midnight run, Jess-Belle in cat form hides out in a barn.  The locals shoot her and she disappears in a puff of smoke.  She shows up later as a toad and then makes a pest of herself by becoming a spider.  After Billy and Ellwyn are married, Billy pays Granny a visit.

tzjessbelle14She explains how to kill Jess-Belle for good so she doesn’t keep coming back.  He follows her instructions and kills her off for good.

A nice little story with some real good words and purty girls.

Post-Post:

  • James Best (Billy Ben) played Roscoe Coltrane on The Dukes of Hazzard.  On the cartoon version, he played Roscoe P. Coltrane.  What the hell?
  • Writer Earl Hamner is best known for The Waltons, but he actually wrote more episodes of TZ than The Waltons.

Bad Language – The Right Stuff

Another bit of dialogue that never made any sense to me.

To paraphrase:  When the pilots go in the door, they all look the same.  When they come out, they all look different; they look scared.

Surely what was intended was that the pilots all look different from each other when they go in, and the same when they come out.  They all look the same because they all look scared.

Maybe this always bugged me because the rest of the movie is absolutely awesome.

“Sir, over there — is that a man?”

“You damn right it is!”

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