It’s hard to call a guy a loser when he’s married to Neile Adams.  Joe makes a pretty good case, though.  He watches TV until 2:00 am, sleeps until noon everyday, then goes to the movies after lunch.  His unemployment benefits expired because he considers himself too good for manual labor, clerical work, or sales.  Also, he’s a smoker.

While his wife Irene is chewing him out at breakfast, she notices the power has been cut off.  I thought I caught them in a continuity error with the toaster working, but they slyly manipulated the events to make sense.  I thought I busted them over the light-bulb not working, but then realized she might have a gas stove.  What I’m trying to say is this show rules!

Joe, parodoxically, tries to look at the bright side of the electricity being out.  He says, “Candles can be romantic” trying to slip in a matinee before the matinee.  Irene is not amused.  He promises to 1) get a loan, and 2) take any job the employment agency has available.

He goes to the Friendship Loan Company, which sounds like a brothel.  They somehow twist his lack of equity, assets, job, or even unemployment benefits into an excuse to deny him a loan.

On the way home, Joe sees a dapper older gentleman carrying an umbrella get off the bus.  Joe, and the audience, suspects this debonair dude is probably loaded (which is crazy, because he was riding the bus).  Before Joe really has much time to be tempted into mugging the man, the gentleman keels over with a heart attack.  Joe lifts the guy’s wallet, but despite the weather report, leaves the snazzy umbrella.

He tells Irene he met an old army buddy who repaid him a forgotten $275 loan.  Irene is thrilled and Joe suggests they be more prudent with this windfall, try to make it last, spend only on essentials, or maybe start a business.  Naw, he says they should get a steak at the most expensive joint in town.  And maybe a carton of Luckies.

Going through the man’s wallet, Joe finds a card that says:

What an awesome set-up!  Joe curses his luck and tosses the wallet away. He quickly realizes, though, that he must do something.  Having seen Breakdown on Alfred Hitchcock Presents 5 years ago, he knows how horrific this could be for the man.

Joe goes back to the corner where the man fell over.  The ambulance is just pulling away.  This was no dark alley, it was a busy street.  What took so long?  Anyway, a cop confirms that the man just hauled away was dead, ceased to be, expired and gone to . . . you know the rest.

Joe goes across the street to a phone-booth and calls Dr. Kruger.  Only able to get an answering service, Joe slams down the receiver.  He walks away, but then decides to try the police.  He tells them about the stiff just carted away, “Isn’t really dead . . . You shouldn’t bury him!  Whatever you do, don’t bury him!”  The cop suggests Joe come in to talk about it.  Knowing he would have to explain how he had this info, he hangs up.

After a fight with Irene, Joe goes to the police station.  Lt. Bates comes down to see him — hey, it’s Biff Elliot from this week’s SFT, Project 44!  After trying to convince the lieutenant the man wasn’t dead, Joe is so determined to save the man that he finally confesses to stealing his wallet.  The two men go to the morgue.  Turns out the dead man was a notorious pickpocket who had stolen that wallet containing the card.

By doing the right thing, Joe incriminated himself for no reason.  Bates puts an arm around Joe and says, “Let’s go upstairs.  We’ve got some talking to do.”  Crazy as it sounds, I think this might just be just the thing to turn Joe’s life around.  I think he and Irene will both live long healthy lives.  Only his will be in jail.

A rare AHP where no one is murdered; at least onscreen.  Strangely, no one mentions the shrunken disembodied head of Lucille Ball they have on top of the refrigerator!  Other than that oversight, a great episode.

Other Stuff:

• AHP Deathwatch:  Neile Adams still kickin’ at 86.  Why did I even check on the actor credited as Elderly Gentleman in 1961?
• Sir Alfred’s wraparound is uncharacteristically lame this week.  I don’t even understand the bit with the giant golf bag.  Oversized household goods iz always funny though.  Anyone?